What to do when the Majority can't handle a Minority of One
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BLoved
Literotica Guru
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I haven't read these archived essays for years.
I found this one, which describes events that led up to my wife and I becoming one.
I'm glad I kept this one ...
Mastery: My Way
If there's one thing I learned that helped me more than anything as a master
and a human being it is the ability to handle my own fear.
"I must not fear..." so starts the Bene Gesserit rite in Frank Herbert's Dune:
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings
total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and
through me. And when it is gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Starting out life in rural Canada in a poor family might not have been easy for
my parents but it was mostly fun for me. Life was simple and the wilds were my
playground. Father was well seasoned in the back woods. He taught me tracking
and trail-blazing, explained how the hills were made and why the leaves fell.
He, mother and I were often in the woods or on the rivers and lakes.
Father was an intelligent, ambitious, unschooled man. He'd been bed-ridden for
several years as a child and had read the entire supply of books in the
library. He was a warm and loving man with his family. I was only spanked on
one occasion, and only once. It was enough for me to realize that I could
disappoint my father, and I was determined to never do so again.
My father was a very loving and emotive man. Unashamedly loyal, generous
sometimes to a fault.
Mother was an intelligent and peaceful woman. She was content with her husband
and child. She was domestic, caring for me and seeing me off to school. I
recall coming home one day quite scared because bullies had threatened me.
Mother walked me back until I felt brave enough to go the rest of the way
alone. I was 9. She was very understanding in that way.
My mother never considered herself very bright. It took her time to see the
pattern in things. But my mother was very sensitive to the emotional needs of
her family.
And so at the age of ten I was quite content. I had met my first girlfriend,
Barbara Miller. It's been nearly 30 years and I doubt anyone will know where
she is but I still have the picture she gave me with her hand drawn heart and
our initials inside.
I had playmates with whom I played cowboys and indians and civil war and a
variety of violence-oriented games (typical boy stuff back then).
And then my father died in an automobile accident.
That's how I came to be who I am now. I learned from my mother all that I could
about her and what it was like to be a woman. And I learned all that I could
about my father. As a teen I spent hours in conversation with my mother on
issues of love, sexism, racism, responsibility, and loyalty. I learned a lot.
And so when I walked into the world as an adult I thought myself well prepared
for the role as modern man. I was sensitive and caring, trusting and loving,
loyal and friendly, and I had learned I was not to rock the boat.
Not rock the boat.
Well, that was what mother had taught me and she thought it worked for her.
It does work for her.
But not for me.
I tried it. One of the first places I worked I had a manager who was a mother
of three abandoned by her husband some 20 years previous. I worked hard and
well but I never seemed to satisfy her needs. She was on my case nearly every
day. No matter how often I followed my mother's advise it just didn't work.
Finally I realized that I needed to try to resolve this differently. Since I
had approached this problem and tried cooperation I would now try
confrontation. I began taking these issues to Human Resources and after a few
months of this she was transferred into a less responsible position.
At that time I was still uncertain about the cause of her animosity. I had no
reason I could think of but one. On one occasion she had told me that she had
just returned from divorce court. She looked me and asked "Why would a man
abandon 3 small children and his wife?". It was a poignant moment. She asked
"You wouldn't do that would you?". I said no, and she turned and left.
As time went on and other experiences occurred I began to wonder whether my
gender might be influencing some behaviour patterns. I often heard women tell
me that they could never trust a man completely or on the first date or with
their phone number or to come to their home. Yet men were doing this all the
time. What made men less trustworthy than women?
Well, it seems to me the combined wisdom of the women I have talked to about
this (and that's over 500) is this:
All the men in my past hurt me, therefore all men will hurt me.
Now it seems to me that this is bigotry. Just because some asshole pushed her
too far and too fast doesn't mean I have to slay dragons just to get a date. Or
does it?
Initially I tried, and I knocked myself silly trying. There was never enough
proof to satisfy their needs. It took time, but gradually I realized that
there were a lot of women who had made a career out of suspicion.
I knew myself well enough to know I was no danger to anyone. I enjoy a party
much more than a fight. So when women would start telling me of their fears I
would start putting them to rest. When it reached a point where I needed God to
make a personal guarantee I bailed.
But then there were the few women who were not so gone in paranoia that
I couldn't reach them. They responded and gradually fell in love with me. I
cherished and loved each one.
With these I was able to discover more about me, about who I was and what I
wanted. Without the experience in a relationship it is hard to fathom the kind
you want.
I discovered I am paternal. Repeatedly I have been told I will be a great
father. I have the patience and tenderness needed to handle small children.
I discovered that I am a master. That was harder to adjust to. The first hurdle
was to get over my doubts that I had any right to restrict another. But after
bouncing my upper lip of my lady's pubic bone once too often I suggested
bondage. With her hands and legs in the air I could concentrate on giving her
the oral pleasure I wanted to give without her gyrations. It lasted at least
30 minutes and she was speechless afterwards. Jus quivering (pun intended for
those who speak french).
Having convinced her that this was a Good thing we continued to experiment.
There was no material where we lived to draw on, so ours was an adventure of
self-discovery. With her I explored bondage, light s/m, roles, and enjoyed some
outdoor activities.
We were together for 6 years, living together for about 5 of them. She released
me when I realized I was a non-monogamist. I had never cheated (can't lie to
the ones I love) but knew I had more love to give and wanted us to explore an
open relationship as a couple. She had other ideas.
It was an amicable, though painful, process. We respect each other and contact
each other when major tragedies strike the other's life. Her last two partners
have died on her, and there is a backwash of guilt when I think about that.
After her came several women who were willing to play at D/s. I was still
experimenting and exploring. By the time my second lady came into my
life I was ready for more adventurous playing. We were together for four years.
We moved in together almost immediately and began playing. She liked spanking,
she announced one day. We hadn't done that yet. So I began to spank her. Our
play developed along the lines of more and more painful s/m experiences. She
had very large breasts and loved the experience of having them bound and
beaten.
Although this relationship had started as an open one, my little lamb begged me
for time to adjust to me before involving another. I consented, but this
dragged on for the full four years. There were many discussions about it,
especially towards the end. She finally explained to me that she would have
said anything to keep me in her life. That she wanted me that much. I
explained that not revealing herself to me meant that my love wasn't for her
but just the image she presented. Lying is a poor way of demonstrating love.
My trust betrayed, I couldn't stay in this relationship. It too ended.
I spent 3 years dating one woman after another. I had always detested one night
stands, as I am only really happy with friends of long standing. However,
during this period there was a new woman with me every two weeks. Some were
slaves and some were subs and some were confused but all of them had turned to
me for my tenderness and patience.
I helped those I could, remained in contact with a couple, and watched the
rest drift to their next encounter. So sad. Their tales were all so similar.
Terrible men out there.
I on the other hand, was always the unique man. I was as sensitive as a woman,
yet strong as a man. I reminded more than a few women of their fathers.
I was always proud of this distinction. It was good for me to be set aside from
those who had hurt my companions.
About 2 and a half years ago I met little lamb. She and I have had a stormy
relationship from the word go. She has run away from me twice and returned
once. Last night she returned again and is seriously reconsidering her freedom.
She was raised to be a strong, self-supporting woman. A feminist and active in
the left-wing movement the concept of slavery is repugnant to her
sensibilities. But she responds to it so well.
That's why she ran. She'd reach a point where she really desired slavery and
then panicked at the loss of freedom and ran. Then she would come back and we
would work our way back to that point again. Last Christmas was the second time
she panicked. This time I decided I had to change things.
Until then I had accepted her need for a certain amount of freedom to integrate
her friends and family with our life. She has failed in this miserably. So we
no longer need to worry about doing things her way anymore.
Now we will be doing slavery, rather than D/s. She knows that she will have no
choices left to her. That I will make all of them. I have told her that she has
a gift and she doesn't know how to handle it. She acknowledges this. then I
tell her that I too have a gift and that I have learned to harness it. She
acknowledges this also. Finally I tell her that I am proposing to make all of
the decisions in her life so that she can focus only on her gift and learn how
to handle it. She understands now what slavery is for me.
I have offered her a one month trial period as a slave so that I can reassure
her that this will work and assure her that she will have a place to go if it
doesn't. She's been told that her contact with the outside world will be
strictly controlled by me, as she has a desire to serve everyone's needs and
often gets confused about what she wants most.
I've left the decision with her. She must commit willingly. She knows that she
can say no and not jeopardize our relationship. She also knows our relationship
can't grow without saying yes.
I found this one, which describes events that led up to my wife and I becoming one.
I'm glad I kept this one ...
Mastery: My Way
If there's one thing I learned that helped me more than anything as a master
and a human being it is the ability to handle my own fear.
"I must not fear..." so starts the Bene Gesserit rite in Frank Herbert's Dune:
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings
total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and
through me. And when it is gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Starting out life in rural Canada in a poor family might not have been easy for
my parents but it was mostly fun for me. Life was simple and the wilds were my
playground. Father was well seasoned in the back woods. He taught me tracking
and trail-blazing, explained how the hills were made and why the leaves fell.
He, mother and I were often in the woods or on the rivers and lakes.
Father was an intelligent, ambitious, unschooled man. He'd been bed-ridden for
several years as a child and had read the entire supply of books in the
library. He was a warm and loving man with his family. I was only spanked on
one occasion, and only once. It was enough for me to realize that I could
disappoint my father, and I was determined to never do so again.
My father was a very loving and emotive man. Unashamedly loyal, generous
sometimes to a fault.
Mother was an intelligent and peaceful woman. She was content with her husband
and child. She was domestic, caring for me and seeing me off to school. I
recall coming home one day quite scared because bullies had threatened me.
Mother walked me back until I felt brave enough to go the rest of the way
alone. I was 9. She was very understanding in that way.
My mother never considered herself very bright. It took her time to see the
pattern in things. But my mother was very sensitive to the emotional needs of
her family.
And so at the age of ten I was quite content. I had met my first girlfriend,
Barbara Miller. It's been nearly 30 years and I doubt anyone will know where
she is but I still have the picture she gave me with her hand drawn heart and
our initials inside.
I had playmates with whom I played cowboys and indians and civil war and a
variety of violence-oriented games (typical boy stuff back then).
And then my father died in an automobile accident.
That's how I came to be who I am now. I learned from my mother all that I could
about her and what it was like to be a woman. And I learned all that I could
about my father. As a teen I spent hours in conversation with my mother on
issues of love, sexism, racism, responsibility, and loyalty. I learned a lot.
And so when I walked into the world as an adult I thought myself well prepared
for the role as modern man. I was sensitive and caring, trusting and loving,
loyal and friendly, and I had learned I was not to rock the boat.
Not rock the boat.
Well, that was what mother had taught me and she thought it worked for her.
It does work for her.
But not for me.
I tried it. One of the first places I worked I had a manager who was a mother
of three abandoned by her husband some 20 years previous. I worked hard and
well but I never seemed to satisfy her needs. She was on my case nearly every
day. No matter how often I followed my mother's advise it just didn't work.
Finally I realized that I needed to try to resolve this differently. Since I
had approached this problem and tried cooperation I would now try
confrontation. I began taking these issues to Human Resources and after a few
months of this she was transferred into a less responsible position.
At that time I was still uncertain about the cause of her animosity. I had no
reason I could think of but one. On one occasion she had told me that she had
just returned from divorce court. She looked me and asked "Why would a man
abandon 3 small children and his wife?". It was a poignant moment. She asked
"You wouldn't do that would you?". I said no, and she turned and left.
As time went on and other experiences occurred I began to wonder whether my
gender might be influencing some behaviour patterns. I often heard women tell
me that they could never trust a man completely or on the first date or with
their phone number or to come to their home. Yet men were doing this all the
time. What made men less trustworthy than women?
Well, it seems to me the combined wisdom of the women I have talked to about
this (and that's over 500) is this:
All the men in my past hurt me, therefore all men will hurt me.
Now it seems to me that this is bigotry. Just because some asshole pushed her
too far and too fast doesn't mean I have to slay dragons just to get a date. Or
does it?
Initially I tried, and I knocked myself silly trying. There was never enough
proof to satisfy their needs. It took time, but gradually I realized that
there were a lot of women who had made a career out of suspicion.
I knew myself well enough to know I was no danger to anyone. I enjoy a party
much more than a fight. So when women would start telling me of their fears I
would start putting them to rest. When it reached a point where I needed God to
make a personal guarantee I bailed.
But then there were the few women who were not so gone in paranoia that
I couldn't reach them. They responded and gradually fell in love with me. I
cherished and loved each one.
With these I was able to discover more about me, about who I was and what I
wanted. Without the experience in a relationship it is hard to fathom the kind
you want.
I discovered I am paternal. Repeatedly I have been told I will be a great
father. I have the patience and tenderness needed to handle small children.
I discovered that I am a master. That was harder to adjust to. The first hurdle
was to get over my doubts that I had any right to restrict another. But after
bouncing my upper lip of my lady's pubic bone once too often I suggested
bondage. With her hands and legs in the air I could concentrate on giving her
the oral pleasure I wanted to give without her gyrations. It lasted at least
30 minutes and she was speechless afterwards. Jus quivering (pun intended for
those who speak french).
Having convinced her that this was a Good thing we continued to experiment.
There was no material where we lived to draw on, so ours was an adventure of
self-discovery. With her I explored bondage, light s/m, roles, and enjoyed some
outdoor activities.
We were together for 6 years, living together for about 5 of them. She released
me when I realized I was a non-monogamist. I had never cheated (can't lie to
the ones I love) but knew I had more love to give and wanted us to explore an
open relationship as a couple. She had other ideas.
It was an amicable, though painful, process. We respect each other and contact
each other when major tragedies strike the other's life. Her last two partners
have died on her, and there is a backwash of guilt when I think about that.
After her came several women who were willing to play at D/s. I was still
experimenting and exploring. By the time my second lady came into my
life I was ready for more adventurous playing. We were together for four years.
We moved in together almost immediately and began playing. She liked spanking,
she announced one day. We hadn't done that yet. So I began to spank her. Our
play developed along the lines of more and more painful s/m experiences. She
had very large breasts and loved the experience of having them bound and
beaten.
Although this relationship had started as an open one, my little lamb begged me
for time to adjust to me before involving another. I consented, but this
dragged on for the full four years. There were many discussions about it,
especially towards the end. She finally explained to me that she would have
said anything to keep me in her life. That she wanted me that much. I
explained that not revealing herself to me meant that my love wasn't for her
but just the image she presented. Lying is a poor way of demonstrating love.
My trust betrayed, I couldn't stay in this relationship. It too ended.
I spent 3 years dating one woman after another. I had always detested one night
stands, as I am only really happy with friends of long standing. However,
during this period there was a new woman with me every two weeks. Some were
slaves and some were subs and some were confused but all of them had turned to
me for my tenderness and patience.
I helped those I could, remained in contact with a couple, and watched the
rest drift to their next encounter. So sad. Their tales were all so similar.
Terrible men out there.
I on the other hand, was always the unique man. I was as sensitive as a woman,
yet strong as a man. I reminded more than a few women of their fathers.
I was always proud of this distinction. It was good for me to be set aside from
those who had hurt my companions.
About 2 and a half years ago I met little lamb. She and I have had a stormy
relationship from the word go. She has run away from me twice and returned
once. Last night she returned again and is seriously reconsidering her freedom.
She was raised to be a strong, self-supporting woman. A feminist and active in
the left-wing movement the concept of slavery is repugnant to her
sensibilities. But she responds to it so well.
That's why she ran. She'd reach a point where she really desired slavery and
then panicked at the loss of freedom and ran. Then she would come back and we
would work our way back to that point again. Last Christmas was the second time
she panicked. This time I decided I had to change things.
Until then I had accepted her need for a certain amount of freedom to integrate
her friends and family with our life. She has failed in this miserably. So we
no longer need to worry about doing things her way anymore.
Now we will be doing slavery, rather than D/s. She knows that she will have no
choices left to her. That I will make all of them. I have told her that she has
a gift and she doesn't know how to handle it. She acknowledges this. then I
tell her that I too have a gift and that I have learned to harness it. She
acknowledges this also. Finally I tell her that I am proposing to make all of
the decisions in her life so that she can focus only on her gift and learn how
to handle it. She understands now what slavery is for me.
I have offered her a one month trial period as a slave so that I can reassure
her that this will work and assure her that she will have a place to go if it
doesn't. She's been told that her contact with the outside world will be
strictly controlled by me, as she has a desire to serve everyone's needs and
often gets confused about what she wants most.
I've left the decision with her. She must commit willingly. She knows that she
can say no and not jeopardize our relationship. She also knows our relationship
can't grow without saying yes.
Cattypuss
Miaow
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2001
- Posts
- 3,666
Absofuckinglutely!
W
where
Guest
Oh please! stop acting the bloody martyr already!
Where can I get hold of this Wulf. He sounds like my ideal man.
BLoved
Literotica Guru
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lol
Etoile, there is a reason you can't find many, if any posts from me.
The casual players of that day deleted them all.
The harassment of that day was no less than the harassment today, and there were no mods back then.
The accusations were no less outrageous then than they are now.
Everything I said in response was deleted.
BLoved
Literotica Guru
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Etoile
Mod, 2003-2015
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2000
- Posts
- 17,049
I don't need to find posts from you. You're saying the same shit now that you were then. It would be redundant to read posts from you on Usenet.
Isn't it strange that you are the only one who is right in the world, while hundreds and hundreds of people on Usenet, CollarMe, Fetlife, Lit, and elsewhere are wrong, wrong, wrong?
W
where
Guest
do you think, that you are possibly taking all of this... and I'm not just talking about your interactions on here, but I mean EVERYTHING, just a little bit too seriously?
BLoved
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BLoved
Literotica Guru
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I am not part of a mob of thirty people harassing the hell out of one individual because he doesn't believe what I believe.
Luna_Wolf72
CinnaWolf circa 2023
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2003
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- 43,982
So, is this thread about your poor showing story wise and what you believe to be vote rigging or is it an addendum to the ethics thread?
BLoved
Literotica Guru
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Actually, that was what I did: got a life.
I married my wife. We shared almost eleven years together until she died of cancer.
It has only been three years since I returned to public life, and no one was more delighted than me to see so many submissives saying "my submission is a gift"
BLoved
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It is about dealing with a majority who are intent on persecuting a minority of one.
BLoved
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Actually, I see it as living according to my principles.
I'd rather share my woods with someone I love, someone who loves me, but if that doesn't happen, at least I lived while I was alive.
Luna_Wolf72
CinnaWolf circa 2023
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2003
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Oh. I just wondered. I don't get involved in conflict here and I don't debate my beliefs with people I do not know and who don't matter to my day to day life. It just struck me as odd that the thread started off as a conversation concerning vote rigging and ended up being a retread of your ethics thread. (At least as far as I can see.) Just wanted clarification.
BLoved
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Persecution comes in many forms.
Similar threads
