What to do with an Attention Whore?

[AngelicAssassin]

And AA
............. I must agree, although "obtorto collo" ( no pun intended ) ...

If i got the Italian correct, it's perfect and absolutely relevant to the forum as well as the topic thread.

 

[Liana26]

I've been meaning to teach myself Italian. Though I don't know how this would be possible, seeing as how I haven't even gotten my laundry done yet.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

I've been meaning to teach myself Italian. Though I don't know how this would be possible, seeing as how I haven't even gotten my laundry done yet.

Prestissimo young lady.

 

[babiesmiles]

If i got the Italian correct, it's perfect and absolutely relevant to the forum as well as the topic thread.

Its latin though .....

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Its latin though .....

And translates roughly to "hold by the neck (from behind)."

Quite apropos for both the forum and the thread, n'est-ce pas?

 

[Liana26]

Its latin though .....

Damn it. Fooled again.

 

[robynwildchild]

i've been told i'm that i do things for attention. i'm not ashamed of it.

i can be obnoxious and feel tremendously rejected/dejected in a group or one on one if i am not heard or ignored. i can't stand living being a shadow or a ghost. I can either get depressed or quite antagonistic, contradictory and a smart-ass. For a long time, since childhood... i didn't first acknowledge why this habit of behavior occured, i couldn't explain why it was that i acted out. but as i got older i began to realize how it was that i felt at the moment that i did what i did. (plus getting in trouble in school a lot helped)

most often its insecurity. which leads to the nervous tension or the personality disorder (in my mind).

the more you need someone else the less they will pay attention to you.
the less you give someone the more they want.

if you can play with that in your head for a while, its like supply and demand in economics.. what is more valueable is harder to acquire/find.

and in the meantime think of what it is your doing before you do it... only when you realize it in yourself will you be able to help control the impulse...

 

[babiesmiles]

And translates roughly to "hold by the neck (from behind)."

Quite apropos for both the forum and the thread, n'est-ce pas?

You are almost right about the literal translation ( obtorqueo = to wring / collum ,i = neck ) , although the expression "obtorto collo" used first by Plautus in a meaning that in English can sound as "unwillingly, reluctantly" still now preserves commonly that sense .

However even in this meaning it is still pertinent to both ......

 

[FurryFury]

I get the feeling that a lot of the posts that talk about being attention whores, are only talking about how you act around your sexual partner or around someone you want to be your partner and not about everybody you meet. Is this correct? If so, I'm wondering this: when you feel ignored from Person #1, does social interaction, online or off, with other people gratify your attention craving, even if only a little bit? Also, for it to work, does that alternative attention have to come from a certain sort of person (for example, someone with the gender you are most attracted to)?

For me, yes the attention whore thing has always been only with my sexual partner. When I feel ignored by him, online might help a little, but really the only thing that helps, is to clear things up with him. I wouldn’t even bother going online if I felt something needed to be discussed and worked out with him. These days with my schedule so busy and so many things that I enjoy doing, I rarely feel or stress about a lack of his attention. We have a certain routine that we are both very happy with.

In other social situations, face-to-face or online, I work at letting everyone have a turn to talk or be the center of attention. Actually I do that with my SO too. It’s hard sometimes because I feel like people often expect me to entertain them, but I try to share the stage with everyone. I do find some gratification online though and with friends in person or I simply wouldn’t bother.

I always find it interesting when I ask someone how he or she is or a question about his or her favorite or most unusual whatever and he or she answers but doesn’t ask me the same or a different thing back.

I do notice many attention whores online and in groups. They really can be entertaining at first but get irritating after a while. I wonder if they know that. Keeps me from being one, since I do notice. Many of them are downright obnoxious.

I have always gotten along better with men than women. Usually women have hated me on sight. I’ve learned to tone it down though. Only in the last decade or so have I figured out how to really hang out with my lady friends in a companionable way. Makes me love ‘em that much more.

Online I enjoy both sexes, but I enjoy as always, men the best. Not too many women want to engage in the sort of sexual discussions or cyber that I prefer at least not that I know right now. Now that I’m at lit that may change? *wink *

 

[FurryFury]

i hope i am not out of line, but perhaps there is something more going on. my Master and i faced a similar situation, i felt ignored and He just didn't seem to care. Then W/we found an article by a Mistress Steele that explained about a condition She called "Dom/me Drop". It really shed some light on O/our situation, whisch isn't that different from yours. Here's the link & i hope it helps.

http://www.leathernroses.com/domination/steeldomdrop.htm

I really liked the link. Thanks for posting it.

 

[CutieMouse]

Bump...

 

[Stella_Omega]

Damn, this thread speaks to me.

 

[ImOnIt]

Ignore it, hold it gently by the back of the neck until it stops speaking, cut contact with it, wait a second or two before answering, dont hold back any criticism....do not go running whenever it makes itself available.

Dependant on situation/specifics of said attention whore.

 

[YourCaptor]

I'd say get your attention in a positive way. Such as, sit next to the TV and show your boobs. If TV wins, remove more clothes, etc.

 

[satindesire]

If I want attention, I ask for it.

My Dom is a human being, with no magical mind reading powers. And it's MY fault, not his, if I don't get what I need because I didn't directly ask for it.

Anyone who expects people to read their minds doesn't deserve to get what they want. And if ruins the relationship because the person would rather be a difficult little brat, well, that's their fault too. This has always been a hot-button topic for me, I can't stand it when someone treats ME badly because they didn't have the guts to ask me for something they wanted. That's CRAP.

It's not rocket surgery to communicate your needs...

 

[Homburg]

If I want attention, I ask for it.

My Dom is a human being, with no magical mind reading powers. And it's MY fault, not his, if I don't get what I need because I didn't directly ask for it.

Anyone who expects people to read their minds doesn't deserve to get what they want. And if ruins the relationship because the person would rather be a difficult little brat, well, that's their fault too. This has always been a hot-button topic for me, I can't stand it when someone treats ME badly because they didn't have the guts to ask me for something they wanted. That's CRAP.

It's not rocket surgery to communicate your needs...

*applauds*

This.

 

[satindesire]

*applauds*

This.

Thank you Hommie!

 

[the captians wench]

I am a huge attention whore, and I admit that freely before I get involved with some one. I'm needy that way, and I want to make sure that I'm upfront with that fact.

But I'm also very mindful that others do not need the constant attention that I do. If you are in the room I want to be snuggling, cuddling, fucking, or in some way physically connected with you, but that often doesn't go both ways. I've learned to deal with this, and compromise. I don't always have to be center of attention, as long as I'm receiving some sort of acknowledgement. Sitting at your feet while you watch tv is perfectly acceptable to me, even when I'd rather be curled up in a tight ball with you.

I have a very hard time giving others alone time when I'm with them, but the way I cope is understanding that other people's needs matter as well, and most people seem to need some alone time. I don't.

But I'm more likely to kiss on you and try to get some part of me on your cock than I am to just anoy you to get attention. *shrug*

 

[IrisAlthea]

I am a huge attention whore, and I admit that freely before I get involved with some one. I'm needy that way, and I want to make sure that I'm upfront with that fact.

But I'm also very mindful that others do not need the constant attention that I do. If you are in the room I want to be snuggling, cuddling, fucking, or in some way physically connected with you, but that often doesn't go both ways. I've learned to deal with this, and compromise. I don't always have to be center of attention, as long as I'm receiving some sort of acknowledgement. Sitting at your feet while you watch tv is perfectly acceptable to me, even when I'd rather be curled up in a tight ball with you.

I have a very hard time giving others alone time when I'm with them, but the way I cope is understanding that other people's needs matter as well, and most people seem to need some alone time. I don't.

But I'm more likely to kiss on you and try to get some part of me on your cock than I am to just anoy you to get attention. *shrug*

I think the bolded parts are really important.
People have different needs when it comes to closeness and time alone and you have to discuss it and find a compromise that works.

 

[chy_girl]

So on the topic of attention whoring, do any pyl's who participate in public play find themselves doing everything in their power to be a 'better' pyl?

Occasionally, and usually around a specific pyl, I catch myself wanting to out bottom, for lack of a better term. To take more, to go further, to give that extra something. And there is a satisfaction in being able bottom in a way (to a degree?) that draws a crowd to the scene. It isn't something plotted out in advance, it just ends up happening sometimes.

ETA: IThe challenge factor also holds a great deal of appeal for me, so please don't think that my People are pushing this. I doubt they're even aware of it since I am so naturally drawn to the challenge.

 

[YourCaptor]

What to do with an Attention Whore?

solitary confinement

 

[longnleannpretty]

I'd like to second that. Thank you so much, everyone, for the words of wisdom. I'm going to keep them all in mind and hope that Tyler reads this.

best of luck

 

[longnleannpretty]

What to do with an Attention Whore?

solitary confinement

lol ...

 

[DVS]

Right way, wrong way...it wouldn't matter to me. I'd appreciate it if a woman coming to me and asking for some attention. This one sided search isn't working out so well in this PC world. It's getting pretty dry here where I live.

So, it's difficult for me to even comprehend someone asking for attention PERIOD, let alone, in the wrong way. Just the fact that someone doesn't get enough attention is difficult for me to even compute in my brain.

I'd tell both sides of the issue to live without for a while and see how it is. Just like you'd suggest someone to live without a home so you understand more about how the homeless survive or without food, so you know how it is to be hungry or walk without shoes to understand those without shoes. Communicating and understanding how others feel makes sense to me.

Come to think about it, maybe I'm looking for attention in the wrong way.

 

[DVS]

What to do with an Attention Whore?

solitary confinement

I'd add a bit of a bound naked twist on that...just for fun.