When did you realize you were in something 'different'

[BiBunny]

I've known I was a masochist (and later a sadist as well), since I was really young. The submissive part didn't come until much later, when I was 22. I've never liked kissing, but he grabbed me the first night we met and kissed me. I knew I was in trouble then because I loved it. I've been going down the rabbit hole ever since and still haven't found the bottom yet.

 

[Etoile]

It involved hot dogs. That's all I can say.

 

[2cute2cyber]

The right guy doing something aggressive and dominant is great. The wrong one would involve mace and a 911 call.

 

[eastern sun]

Different relationships have been different.

With my husband, it was the first time I let him kiss me. We were sitting on a bench seat, and I don't know what I expected, some rather run-of-the-mill kind of embarrassing moment. I felt like I got hit with a defibrillator and the next thing I knew we had both fallen onto the floor. (By that time, we had already slept side-by-side on a couple of occasions without either of us making any moves, so my reaction really came out of the blue.)

He claims he knew exactly what he was doing.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I think it was the moment when I realized, at 17, that I had seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show about 35 - 40 times, and was getting involved with doing the floor show at the theater, and the next closest any of my friends were at was about 10 times...

 

[GravPro]

When I laid that first playful smack across her ass and she jumped and looked back at me with a look of expectant joy and said "Again? But...a bit harder?"

 

[Aquila1]

I thought he was the rudest most obnoxious asshat of a man I had ever met in my life. Not only did he completely ignore me for nearly four months (and we were living in a very isolated place so it was pretty hard to avoid each other), he also completely refused to speak to me. I actually thought he was a bit of an idiot to be honest. Six more months of bizarre emails from him (none of which were more than about 20 words in length), and I was completely smitten. I still don't really know how that happened
The man has a mind like a steel trap; he observes and absorbs everything that is going on around him and chooses to use it to his advantage.

I can still remember the first time he said "No" to me. I wanted to fuck him on the spot for saying it.

 

[LilTexanGal]

As a young girl I had encounters with girls (I was a girl then too). I had fantasies of being a prostitute and being gang raped. I remember thinking these were strange thoughts and I sure as hell didn't share them with anyone as I very well could have been dragged to the funny farm.

My first husband had these fur covered cuffs and I thought it was a cool idea...but he was too abusive for me to let my guard down to allow that sort of encounter. It got so bad that I would only have missionary sex with him and I remember holding out for up to 6 months. He even talked to my twin and said I was a complete prude and wanted to know if she could talk to me about it. He didn't realize that all she wanted was me away from him.

My second husband. Our first date...he put his hand on my upper thigh. So forward I thought. Even though we had already had conversations via phone about what each liked in bed and our fantasies. That night after our date. He bent me over my bed, grabbed my hair and twisted it around his fist (I miss my hair being that long) and pulled my ear close to his mouth where he told me that he wanted to fuck my ass. He just took complete control and fucked me roughly. I was a puddle in his arms. I was completely blinded by his skills. The funny thing is we met in the church I went to with his parents. His father was the deacon. They had no idea what they had matched up. Still...we weren't really into BDSM....mostly rough sex.

We seperated. I went almost 6 months surviving on masturbation with my fantasies in my head. Then I decided to buy an erotic literature book that would help stimulate my mind. I have never been into porn...so no appeal there. The book I was drawn to was called He's on Top. The stories I read were all about BDSM and I started searching those types of things and it led me to my local dungeon. Where I have found out who I truly am....a bisexual switch....with mostly submissive tendancies. I am only submissive to men. And will top women on occasion....now only if my Master is inclined to allow it.

 

[SexcSami70]

boring

its boring being the same as everyone else.....being different is much more exciting.... LOL

 

[ZRT]

Around the age of six. There were various things that just spoke to me. Women tied up in various forms of media and so on.

Even then I knew it was different.

Just something that was always there, really.

 

[StrayKat]

its boring being the same as everyone else.....being different is much more exciting.... LOL

I really wish I was just like "everyone else". Life would be so much easier.
That feeling that you stick like a sore finger if you dont watch what you say and do all the time gets old really fast.

Being "normal" would be interesting and exciting new experience for me.

 

[StrayKat]

I thought he was the rudest most obnoxious asshat of a man I had ever met in my life. Not only did he completely ignore me for nearly four months (and we were living in a very isolated place so it was pretty hard to avoid each other), he also completely refused to speak to me. I actually thought he was a bit of an idiot to be honest. Six more months of bizarre emails from him (none of which were more than about 20 words in length), and I was completely smitten. I still don't really know how that happened
The man has a mind like a steel trap; he observes and absorbs everything that is going on around him and chooses to use it to his advantage.

I can still remember the first time he said "No" to me. I wanted to fuck him on the spot for saying it.

Oh God, that old game. I always fall for it too though I know every move. Unbelievably sexy. Men like that make my knees go weak and I get totally stupid.

 

[SimonBrooke]

I really wish I was just like "everyone else". Life would be so much easier.
That feeling that you stick like a sore finger if you dont watch what you say and do all the time gets old really fast.

Being "normal" would be interesting and exciting new experience for me.

Does 'normal' really exist?

I know the number of people who are 'out' as BDSM is quite small - just like the number of people who were 'out' as gay was, forty years ago. But how many middle class bedrooms contain a pair of handcuffs, or an odd length of rope, or a belt which isn't used to hold up trousers? I doubt anyone knows. We're much more common than we think we are, I think. And once you've taken out the people who act out their BDSM desires and look at the so-called 'vanilla' population, how many of them don't act out not because they don't want to but because they've been socialised not to?

No, I don't know, either.

My suspicion is that in fact we're normal and the genuinely 'vanillas' are the exceptions.

 

[YarnSpinner]

I think I realized it some time in college when I noticed that, no, in fact, not everyone fantasizes about being taken forcefully, anywhere and anyway "he" wants it. I could never get myself off without thinking about submiting to "him" (whoever the fantasy happened to be of at the time). Until college, I suppose I never really gave a thought as to what other people fantasized about. I sort of assumed their fantasies were like mine. But, then, I noticed most people had pretty tame fantsies compared to mine! Which is when I realized there was something "different" about me and my needs.

 

[coquettish]

I've never felt "like the other girls", and I guess I realised I was different when I was around 8 or 9, and acting out a dungeon scene in a pool with 2 girlfriends. I'm guessing not too many other 9 year olds pretend to whip their friends, and croon in their ear "do you like that?"

 

[Inamanica]

When I was 13 years old my best friend, who happened to be a girl, liked to play tie up games with me. I always could get free so it wasn't erotic at all. One day we were at her house playing the tie up game when her mom came in her room. Her mom said she would show her how to do it right.

Her mom was late 30's and very good looking. I'll never forget her mom crossing my wrists and tying them tight. She also tied my ankles together and then tied my wrists and ankles together putting me into a hogtie.

It was all in good fun but it was the introduction of my femdom experience.

 

[Keroin]

Bring it. I've been in a car with my younger brother, who was taught to drive by soldiers and who think the footbrake is for sissies. Cars no longer hold any fear for me (nor, for that matter, does death)

Wanna test that theory?

*puts on driving gloves and shoes*

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Different?

I knew I was into girls in a romantic, sexual way before I ever hit my teen years. I knew I could turn pain into something exceedingly sexual before I ever left my teen years. I knew that I was a bit of a control freak before I left my teens. I knew that I preferred being on the Top after trying the bottom in my early 20's. I knew that I felt like a bi guy inside on most days and that this did not match my outside at all~probably from the time I was 12 or so. I don't think I have ever been what most people perceive as normal. It's cool. I feel normal to me.

 

[satindesire]

I was thinking about this today. I think i can pin it down to one time when (future) husband and I were messing around and I ran into the bathroom to hide. Shortly after, the door came off the hinges and he was standing there, drill in hand, and said
"just who the fuck do you think you are dealing with?"

he took the fucking door off the hinges!!!!!! I knew I was in BIG TROUBLE/WHERE I WANTED TO BE right then.....

HAHAHA! OMFGROFFLECOPTERBBQ!

 

[Hisslavej]

Night in June '09
Taking me home from happy hour
i said, out of the blue - "i am a whore for You"
"No! a whore would like THIS!"
painfully tugged and twisted my nipples.
drove me to His Home
"Strip in the garage! NOW!"
i obeyed without hesitation
...i obeyed...
Now, i never wear clothes in His Home, unless it's dress up time
i crawl
i beg
i worship Him
i am honestly not sure what tripped the trigger in me, i just *knew* i would obey this Man. And i knew i needed His Strong Hand

 

[Netzach]

I always knew I was different to other girls. I just didn't know why.

Poor Stefan. I picked him to be the one I pretended I had the hots for, for most of high school, just to be like the other girls, who had crushes, and boyfriends, and whatnot.

Haha, I had a crush beard too. I didn't really figure my shit out till late in college though.

 

[DVS]

There was a time when I realized something was different. One time was when a woman answered an ad I had posted somewhere. She said she was in need of discipline and wondered if I could help her with it. We met at a restaurant so we could look each other over. She was a very hot woman and about my age so how could I resist her request?

In emails back and forth, she said she desired to be bound, spanked and whipped and forced to be put into humiliating situations. She wouldn't tell me why she wanted this treatment, and I wasn't going to spoil it by asking. I did want her body (did I say she was hot?) and so I told her that most discipline can become sexual and because she had no problem with being naked in front of me, I said sex could um...happen if she didn't have an issue with it. But, if she didn't want that, I could restrain myself. I didn't want to lose what I had, even if I couldn't have her sexually. So, it was decided that until she gave me the OK, discipline was all that I'd give her.

She came over to my house and we talked for a while. In the course of our conversation, I quipped that I wasn't just a good disciplinarian, but also was quite skilled in back rubs. I saw her eyes light up and so I offered her a little taste of my expertise. She knelt between my legs, facing away from me and I went to work. I have strong fingers from a job I once had and so I have no problem giving long and deep muscle shoulder and back massages. This one went on for about 10 minutes with neither of us saying much. Then she broke the silence by saying, "OK".

"OK?", I asked.

"Yes, OK. I'll have no problem with sex being a part of this arrangement."

"Oh...great. Was it something I said, or were you just thinking this over, in the last few minutes?"

"It was the back rub that did it."

She said it was my strong hands and fingers that did it. You women and your quirks with the male hand. I guess men have quirks like that, too, but most of ours are purely sexual...nice tits, nice ass, if you can swallow my cock down your throat...that sort of thing. Yes, a pretty face and a nice smile are up there, too. OK, OK, and I also like someone with a brain. LOL.

I just never thought my giving a back rub would have made such an impression. We had a relationship after that, but it was only a couple of years. It just didn't last. Maybe more back rubs were necessary?

From that point on, whenever I met a women, I made an effort to somehow include that I was good at giving back rubs. But sadly, it never had the same result.

 

[KoPilot]

I developed a size fetish as a wee lass that probably started to manifest itself as a "regular" kink when i hit puberty.

I'm actually really happy the two of them play so nicely... if being manhandled and physically overpowered by someone 2 or 3 times as tall as me can't happen, then I can just go and ask S to tie my sorry ass up! It almost makes me feel bad for the guys that want to be used as dildos or to be eaten or to be in a building while a mile-high gal fucks it to pieces. I can imagine that those fantasies are very difficult to substitute.

 

[Yourfriendsfriend]

I remember even as a kid I was pretty much a sadist. I had some of the strangest fantasies before I even knew what sex was. I used to fantasize about hunting women who were fairy sized and locking them up in a cage, making them my prisoner before I humiliated them. On the flip side I'd have fantasies where I was the little person and women were doing those things to me.

It wasn't really until I met my last girlfriend that I wanted to take control. The way she giggled, the way she acted like a brat. Something about her just made me want to hold her down and show her who was boss, also her being confident only made me want to take her more. I love confident and submissive women.

 

[Seurat]

Initially? A cover of National Lampoon with apicture of a girl tied to a stake, with a directors clapboard about to snap shut on her tits. I still have it somewhere.

The 'oh-my-god' moment? Playing at bondage with my then GF, and she is all dressed in the cheap kinky stuff. Firm grip, and I was told that I was going to be punished for being a bad boy. She slipped me into her mouth, and asked if I was ready for the punishment.

Well, of course I was!

Her finger went into my ass, and I passed through orgasmic and straight into sub space. Hit the same (but different feeling) mark one night when she screamed from repetetive orgasms. Sub space of her own.