Johnny Mayberry
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I'm going to re-read fight Club again, as soon as i get it back from a friend of mine.
When seeking a partner through ads, what gets your attention or ensures you pass by?
- Thread starter BlondGirl
- Start date
Johnny Mayberry
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Root beer floats taste best in the summertime.
Johnny Mayberry
Golden Boy
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I'm listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn on the CD player right now.
Johnny Mayberry
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If you accidentally get lube in your eye, it stings. If you are going to wipe sweat off your brow, wash your hands first!
Johnny Mayberry
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I smoke Camel Lights, but I'm thinking of quitting. I did just buy a pretty shiny Zippo though.
Johnny Mayberry
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Carolina BBQ is far and away superior to Texas brisket.
Johnny Mayberry
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So, Blondchick, do you now understand what REAL useless posts look like? Who do you think you are to dictate how I respond to your thread? If you want to have a conversation with yourself, go find a mirror.
Let's look at my post, chica:
I said I don't use regular personals, but that I thought the Lit Personals thread could be useful. Further, I noted that personality is what I would be looking for in a personal.
Simple enough, or do I have to get Barney the Purple Goddamned Dinosaur to explain it to you?
Let's look at my post, chica:
I said I don't use regular personals, but that I thought the Lit Personals thread could be useful. Further, I noted that personality is what I would be looking for in a personal.
Simple enough, or do I have to get Barney the Purple Goddamned Dinosaur to explain it to you?
Ebonyfire
Ball Stretcher
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Personals
I have used personals in a vanilla AND BDSM context with some success. I never misrepresent myself cause I do not have to. If someone does not like what I am about, then who cares?
I hate dick pics, but love to be asked if I want to exchange a pic. I prefer clean pics cause like SD has said, you see one dick, you have seen them all.
Asses do get my attention (obviously), but only after we have exchanged enough emails that show we have some interests in common.
I have used personals in a vanilla AND BDSM context with some success. I never misrepresent myself cause I do not have to. If someone does not like what I am about, then who cares?
I hate dick pics, but love to be asked if I want to exchange a pic. I prefer clean pics cause like SD has said, you see one dick, you have seen them all.
Asses do get my attention (obviously), but only after we have exchanged enough emails that show we have some interests in common.
MissTaken
Biker Chick
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BlondGirl said:
I have never misrepresented myself. I have however, changed the "spin" on the ad to see how responses change.
An ad that is focussed on sex and perhaps a bit flighty in it's timbre will get lots of responses. About ten percent of which are worthwhile.
A serious ad that is more "Adult" in nature will get far fewer replies, but most of which are worth at least saying hello to . The more specific I have been, the better the responses.
Now in terms of having someone misrepresent themselves to me? Well, 6 feet and 230 pounds translated into 290 pounds in real life. No children translated into five children, four mothers but they don't count because he doesn't see any of them!
Self employed has translated into unemployed and needing a breadwinner on top of everything else!
BlondGirl
Aim for the Bullseye ; )
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misrepresentation
I tend to wait and chat/write back and forth for a couple of months or whatever feels right before meeting someone. I had one "gentleman" that swore he was single. Upon meeting him, I requested we eat at Joe's in Kemah (outside of Houston). One tequila, two tequila, three tequila---and I had the details on his knocked up girlfriend AND his wife (he had taken the girlfriend during an illness his wife had sufferred through). Talk about some baggage that I'm not interrested in carrying!!!!!!!! And... He was into damaging edgeplay with knives and fish hooks and box knives etc. I was not sure what he was hoping would make me want to ride him because there was certainly no treasure at the table with me that night.
Being married/attached and physical description are the most common things lied about, in my experience. It is a big reason why I am not interested in a picture at all. And besides, the pictures I used to get in exchange never seemed to represent the person. I could not typically recognize them!
I will not ever post a picture simply because my job makes me very visible. I cannot afford to. I really like having that paycheck coming in. And I get enough whackos who grab my ass and/or boobs already that are patients.
I tend to wait and chat/write back and forth for a couple of months or whatever feels right before meeting someone. I had one "gentleman" that swore he was single. Upon meeting him, I requested we eat at Joe's in Kemah (outside of Houston). One tequila, two tequila, three tequila---and I had the details on his knocked up girlfriend AND his wife (he had taken the girlfriend during an illness his wife had sufferred through). Talk about some baggage that I'm not interrested in carrying!!!!!!!! And... He was into damaging edgeplay with knives and fish hooks and box knives etc. I was not sure what he was hoping would make me want to ride him because there was certainly no treasure at the table with me that night.
Being married/attached and physical description are the most common things lied about, in my experience. It is a big reason why I am not interested in a picture at all. And besides, the pictures I used to get in exchange never seemed to represent the person. I could not typically recognize them!
I will not ever post a picture simply because my job makes me very visible. I cannot afford to. I really like having that paycheck coming in. And I get enough whackos who grab my ass and/or boobs already that are patients.
Well... I've never tried lit personals, but I did some dating through a different on-line personals thing last summer.
Two of the guys - great sex, but one turned out to have a gf he didn't tell me about until it just slipped out in easy conversation. Woops! I ditched him. The other lived too far away, had 10 years on me, and our work schedules conflicted too much for things to go anywhere.
Two of the guys - military boys, far more clean, tidy, organized, anal, and self-obsessed than I could deal with. One of them was more interested in the baseball game on tv than talking to me, the other was just looked like he ought to be a male model. It made me giggle to be out for a walk with him downtown - silly prettyboy. I got the vibe both of them were cruising for one night stands with lonely girls.
Two of the guys - lonely losers looking for love. Nice enough people, but they wanted somebody, anybody - and seemed to have an idea of who I was, that I'm not.
I exchanged e-mails and IM's with some others; I didn't find a lot of mis-representation at all. Just the one out of the 6 I met... not bad. Then again, I think I'm a pretty good judge of character.
I looked for a sense of humor, and a lack of the words, "seeks thin athletic woman" - they're welcome to seek her, but I'm not her, so why bother?
I believe my ad said something to the effect of, "Unhappy? I don't care. If you don't like your life, I don't want to be in it. I love dogs, avoid kids on metro trains and in restaurants, and smile a lot, blah blah blah whatever..." I got a good number of replies, from people telling me they found that refreshing.
<shrug> It was fun for a while, I met some really nice people, and a few jerks. A pretty fair sample of what's out there, really.
Two of the guys - great sex, but one turned out to have a gf he didn't tell me about until it just slipped out in easy conversation. Woops! I ditched him. The other lived too far away, had 10 years on me, and our work schedules conflicted too much for things to go anywhere.
Two of the guys - military boys, far more clean, tidy, organized, anal, and self-obsessed than I could deal with. One of them was more interested in the baseball game on tv than talking to me, the other was just looked like he ought to be a male model. It made me giggle to be out for a walk with him downtown - silly prettyboy. I got the vibe both of them were cruising for one night stands with lonely girls.
Two of the guys - lonely losers looking for love.
Nice enough people, but they wanted somebody, anybody - and seemed to have an idea of who I was, that I'm not.I exchanged e-mails and IM's with some others; I didn't find a lot of mis-representation at all. Just the one out of the 6 I met... not bad. Then again, I think I'm a pretty good judge of character.
I looked for a sense of humor, and a lack of the words, "seeks thin athletic woman" - they're welcome to seek her, but I'm not her, so why bother?
I believe my ad said something to the effect of, "Unhappy? I don't care. If you don't like your life, I don't want to be in it. I love dogs, avoid kids on metro trains and in restaurants, and smile a lot, blah blah blah whatever..." I got a good number of replies, from people telling me they found that refreshing.
<shrug> It was fun for a while, I met some really nice people, and a few jerks. A pretty fair sample of what's out there, really.
do share, perhaps????BlondGirl said:
Well, I do have to admit that when I first started with the whole personals thing, I did misrepresent my age. I didn't think men would even look at a women 40+, so I put my age down as 10 years younger. (Well, I do look 10 years younger, so I did get away with it) It didn't last long, though. I didn't really think personals would work towards actually meeting people, and when I really did start meeting people, it was too difficult to keep up the charade.
I don't know if I experienced all that much misrepresentation as much as omission. (Or is that considered the same thing?) There was the guy who I met and then told me all about his 3 ex-wives (he had children with each), and how the last one was "out to get him". She was supposedly the reason why he had his home phone and his cell phone disconnected, and the only way I could reach him was through work. Yeah. Right.
The ones that always made me chuckle were the guys justifying their infidelities to their wives. My favorite line was from a guy who told me he was "somewhat married." I guess that sorta goes along with being a "little bit pregnant", huh?
Then there was the man who told me his wife was ill, couldn't have sex, and had given him her permission to have an affair with just one woman. When I told him I wanted to contact his wife to verify his story, he told me he didn't want to do that because it would hurt her. Okay....she gives her permission, but doesn't want to know who the hell her hubby is fucking? Yeah, okay. (By the way, does anyone realize that there are a hell of a lot of very ill wives out there who can no longer have any sort of physical intimacy with their husbands in any way? It's amazing, really.)
The only time I was disappointed looks-wise was with a potential Dom. He was quite a few years older than I, and when I asked him for a pic (it wasn't on his ad), he told me he didn't believe in that as he considered it shallow. (But, of course, we'll just forget about the fact that it was probably my pic that caused him to answer my ad, right?) When he showed up, he was extremely skinny, which is a total turn off to me, and he was losing his hair yet had the longest, thin attempt at a ponytail in the back. As we talked, I kept imagining that thing creeping across my body and my skin crawled. And his teeth - UGH! I mean, not everyone has perfect teeth, but when they are yellow (and I mean yellow!), that is just disgusting. He was a nice man, however, and very knowledgeable. I actually tried to get past the physical, but couldn't.
While I do think it's important to be careful when meeting some one over the internet, I also feel that face to face should occur very shortly after both people have decided they may get along.
I met the man I'm currently seeing via internet ad. Actually, he initiated contact a year ago, and I let the ball drop. Thankfully, he was persistent and tried again. Now I'm kicking myself for having let a whole year go by! But, by the second time he contacted me, I had a very detailed ad which listed 7 points a man had to meet before I would even consider emailing him. I thought that would minimize the number of responses I would get. Nope. It just afforded men a way of attempting to be competitive.
psiberzerker
Literotica Guru
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Jonny, you're full of shit. You can't really compare a pig roasted over a shit load of charcoal to a marinated brisket smoked over mesquite.
AnelizeDarkEyes
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psiberzerker said:
it's all in the sauce baby.
*snickering madly on the sidelines*
~anelize
hey...you want slaw with that? hehe
psiberzerker
Literotica Guru
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The sauce? How in the holy hells does pepper soaked in vinegar compare to the rich complex tapestry that is Barbeque sauce? Go to the store, buy a bottle of barbeque sauce, and see what you get. Pig Pickens are all well, and good, but they aren't barbeque. I'll tear down on pulled porque sametches till ther cows come home, then rip off a brisket, soak it till it quits twitchin', and throw that bad boy on a burnin' mess 'f mesquite that classifies as an ecological disaster. Anything else ain't barbeque.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
I've never personally advertized myself online because I'm not interested in online relationships. Talkin' dirty is all well and good, but it ain't sex if you don't need a condom (or dental damn.) I've done the underground newspaper thing (Independent, Raleigh NC thank you very much Mayberry) and had mixed results. I didn't mirepresent myself, but a lot of the respondees did.
BTW, I agonized long and hard on that personnel tirade, and this is the thanks I get? I thought it was Motherfucking hilarious, but we end up distracted by the antics of a histrionic hick. Honestly, sometimes I don't know why I even bother. I work, and I slave over a hot keyboard and.....
.... The remainder of that pity party was eliminated, it wasn't going nowhere in a hell of a hurry.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
I've never personally advertized myself online because I'm not interested in online relationships. Talkin' dirty is all well and good, but it ain't sex if you don't need a condom (or dental damn.) I've done the underground newspaper thing (Independent, Raleigh NC thank you very much Mayberry) and had mixed results. I didn't mirepresent myself, but a lot of the respondees did.
BTW, I agonized long and hard on that personnel tirade, and this is the thanks I get? I thought it was Motherfucking hilarious, but we end up distracted by the antics of a histrionic hick. Honestly, sometimes I don't know why I even bother. I work, and I slave over a hot keyboard and.....
.... The remainder of that pity party was eliminated, it wasn't going nowhere in a hell of a hurry.
AnelizeDarkEyes
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While I'm here, posting stray this and that's I'd better go ahead and post something on topic. LAWD forbid I piss blondgirl there off. She might start calling me names too. For the record Blondgirl, DEAR. I'm 40, don't live at home with mommy and daddy, and have a sense of HUMOR...which you seem to be lacking in at the moment. Lighten up, you'll live longer.
On to the topic.
I've had interesting experiences with both nilla and BDSM personals. In the last year, I've met a few interesting nilla men, through online personals. Most of them were nothing more than that...just interesting. I found that most misrepresented themselves in one specific area--height and weight. I tend to prefer men who are heavier and/or taller. I somehow seemed to end up with very thin/short men, which wasn't THAT big a deal. However, another misrepresentation WAS... how much they drank. Most would state they were light drinkers or that they did not drink and would end up wasted on our first date. Since I am in recovery, this was NOT my idea of a good time. See ya--BYE.
As far as BDSM ads go, I did end up in a training situation with a Dominant which I have discussed in another thread here. He did misrepresent himself to me, and unfortunately for me, continued to do so well into our contracted training period. He was far more a sadist than I was prepared to deal with at the time. I asked to be released and ended the training. The whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth for BDSM personals. How can you ever REALLY know??? I took all the precautions.
I haven't run into the problem others have had with people being married for some reason. The only other issue I have had is difficulties in finding people who are local to me. Most of the ads seem to focus on Central FL rather than NE Florida.
I just make do with what I've got.
~anelize
On to the topic.
I've had interesting experiences with both nilla and BDSM personals. In the last year, I've met a few interesting nilla men, through online personals. Most of them were nothing more than that...just interesting. I found that most misrepresented themselves in one specific area--height and weight. I tend to prefer men who are heavier and/or taller. I somehow seemed to end up with very thin/short men, which wasn't THAT big a deal. However, another misrepresentation WAS... how much they drank. Most would state they were light drinkers or that they did not drink and would end up wasted on our first date. Since I am in recovery, this was NOT my idea of a good time. See ya--BYE.
As far as BDSM ads go, I did end up in a training situation with a Dominant which I have discussed in another thread here. He did misrepresent himself to me, and unfortunately for me, continued to do so well into our contracted training period. He was far more a sadist than I was prepared to deal with at the time. I asked to be released and ended the training. The whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth for BDSM personals. How can you ever REALLY know??? I took all the precautions.
I haven't run into the problem others have had with people being married for some reason. The only other issue I have had is difficulties in finding people who are local to me. Most of the ads seem to focus on Central FL rather than NE Florida.
I just make do with what I've got.
~anelize
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Re: SexyChele
They were the following:
1. Absolutely no married men, men who were engaged, men who were in a committed relationship, or men who had been dating some one in a situation where one or both considered the relationship to be monogamous. If they shared living quarters with anyone they or any friend or family member could refer to as "wife", they need not apply.
2. They had to live close to me. Close meant at least the same county (it's a small county). Close enough to see each other on a regular basis, if it came to that.
3. I had a picture on my ad, and if they did not have one on theirs, the only decent thing to do would be to send me one. After all, they probably responded to the ad because of my picture. Turnabout is only fair play. Facial shots only, please.
4. I would not agree to meet the same day/night as they responded to my ad. Under any circumstances. Ever. I have life and assume they did as well, therefore, we would meet at a time that mutually agreeable and only after we had become comfortable enough to do so.
5. I was not interested in meeting men who were in the area on business. That meant demands (and yes, I did receive actual "demands" to be at a certain hotel at a certain time.) to meet them at their hotel would go unanswered - unless I felt like telling them off.
6. I was looking for a long term relationship. Long term, for me, means longer than 4 hours. While I admit that I'm not certain about marriage, if all things worked out, I wanted the guy to be around in a few months or more. Hell, I wanted him around the next morning!
7. Men under the age of 38 would not be considered. And if a man was in his 20s, he was wasting his time. I would not respond. However, I would consider men who were older. (My upper age limit was 50 - 8 years older than I - and several men in their 60s told me I would never find anyone with that narrow age range. The man I did connect with is 49.)
These 7 little "rules" pretty much pointed out exactly what I was looking for. Now, this ad appeared on a non-BDSM internet site, so I didn't make any mention of the exact type of sexual play I was interested in.
So, Richard, except for the location would you qualify?
Richard49 said:
They were the following:
1. Absolutely no married men, men who were engaged, men who were in a committed relationship, or men who had been dating some one in a situation where one or both considered the relationship to be monogamous. If they shared living quarters with anyone they or any friend or family member could refer to as "wife", they need not apply.
2. They had to live close to me. Close meant at least the same county (it's a small county). Close enough to see each other on a regular basis, if it came to that.
3. I had a picture on my ad, and if they did not have one on theirs, the only decent thing to do would be to send me one. After all, they probably responded to the ad because of my picture. Turnabout is only fair play. Facial shots only, please.
4. I would not agree to meet the same day/night as they responded to my ad. Under any circumstances. Ever. I have life and assume they did as well, therefore, we would meet at a time that mutually agreeable and only after we had become comfortable enough to do so.
5. I was not interested in meeting men who were in the area on business. That meant demands (and yes, I did receive actual "demands" to be at a certain hotel at a certain time.) to meet them at their hotel would go unanswered - unless I felt like telling them off.
6. I was looking for a long term relationship. Long term, for me, means longer than 4 hours. While I admit that I'm not certain about marriage, if all things worked out, I wanted the guy to be around in a few months or more. Hell, I wanted him around the next morning!
7. Men under the age of 38 would not be considered. And if a man was in his 20s, he was wasting his time. I would not respond. However, I would consider men who were older. (My upper age limit was 50 - 8 years older than I - and several men in their 60s told me I would never find anyone with that narrow age range. The man I did connect with is 49.)
These 7 little "rules" pretty much pointed out exactly what I was looking for. Now, this ad appeared on a non-BDSM internet site, so I didn't make any mention of the exact type of sexual play I was interested in.
So, Richard, except for the location would you qualify?
Luna_Wolf72
CinnaWolf circa 2023
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Re: When seeking a partner through ads, what gets your attention or ensures you pass by?
Well...I like the topic so I decided to throw in my opinion. First of all, if someone can not describe what it is they require in more than one word sentences I will not bother. If said person has to have perfection from day one, I will not bother. If said person can not communicate properly, I will not bother. Basically if the person has no concept of self and says exactly what they think every one wants to hear..i will not bother. Do I like ads with Pictures? No, becuase I do not require their outer shell only that which is within them to complete me and my fantasy.
The main thing I have discovered here on Lit and at home with my owner is this, words are half the battle. To be able to set a scene and carry it out is only a quarter if done properly. What makes most of the people I speak to interesting is that they have more than one idea on how to please themselves and others. Creativity is a must..If you have none...I won't bother...kiss
BlondGirl said:
Well...I like the topic so I decided to throw in my opinion. First of all, if someone can not describe what it is they require in more than one word sentences I will not bother. If said person has to have perfection from day one, I will not bother. If said person can not communicate properly, I will not bother. Basically if the person has no concept of self and says exactly what they think every one wants to hear..i will not bother. Do I like ads with Pictures? No, becuase I do not require their outer shell only that which is within them to complete me and my fantasy.
The main thing I have discovered here on Lit and at home with my owner is this, words are half the battle. To be able to set a scene and carry it out is only a quarter if done properly. What makes most of the people I speak to interesting is that they have more than one idea on how to please themselves and others. Creativity is a must..If you have none...I won't bother...kiss
Ebonyfire
Ball Stretcher
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- Jan 6, 2002
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- 11,729
What is interesting (and funny)
is that folks see what they want to see.
when I used to post an ad, I used to put that married men need not apply and it never fails, I get a few married men trying to convince me that they are somehow different. As if the term "married" does not really mean anything.
So, likewise I see what I only want to see...the delete button.
is that folks see what they want to see.
when I used to post an ad, I used to put that married men need not apply and it never fails, I get a few married men trying to convince me that they are somehow different. As if the term "married" does not really mean anything.
So, likewise I see what I only want to see...the delete button.
