Where's The Love?

[CutieMouse]

Yes hon, but you must admit Morticia wore a killer corset...

 

[SpectreT]

Morticia's fashion sense was matched only by her decorum.

Heck, I was holding Gomez and Morticia up as a slightly campy, sappy model of a hot D/S relationship. Always was envious of 'ol Gomez.

 

[cati]

Let me say it again. I love your posts Evil Geoff...smiles

 

[BeachGurl2]

One thing that I've noticed is that in really good D/s relationships, communication is key. In the relationships I've seen, the strong ones anyway, Dom and sub know more about each other than people I've seen in strong vanilla relationships. I think the public portrayal (stereotype, even) of the Dom as some tough, rough, hard man is just plain silly. Sure there are Doms who are like that, emotionally detached and not physically affectionate, but there are also Doms who are very physically affectionate and emotionally connected.

My hair is very long, below my waist. My first Dom loved to sit behind me and brush my hair. We would be watching a 2 hour movie, and for most of it, he would alternate between brushing my hair and massaging my shoulders and back. There were times when he would run a bath for me, light candles, bring me a glass of wine, and just sit next to me talking while I lay back and relaxed. He was very romantic and very physically affectionate. If he hadn't been, I wouldn't have been with him. I require a power exchange and I am a masochist, but I also require romance and physical affection. His being a Dom didn't make those things mutually exclusive.

 

[Agincourt]

My first Dom loved to sit behind me and brush my hair. We would be watching a 2 hour movie, and for most of it, he would alternate between brushing my hair and massaging my shoulders and back. There were times when he would run a bath for me, light candles, bring me a glass of wine, and just sit next to me talking while I lay back and relaxed. He was very romantic and very physically affectionate. If he hadn't been, I wouldn't have been with him.

Thanks so much! I'm so glad I posted this thread, it served to alleviate some of my fears of what the hell I may be getting myself into. Thank again!

 

[Agincourt]

Morticia's fashion sense was matched only by her decorum.

AMEN!

 

[Agincourt]

I take good care of her physically, spiritually, and emotionally, so she can take good care of me.

Spiritually?

 

[FurryFury]

if i am close enough to someone to get kinky, i am close enough to not only make a serious emotional investment but to be honest with her. i will, from time to time, even in the middle of really roiughing up my partner, stop, give her a gentle kiss, and tell her that i love her, or that she is beautiful, or something else that is complimentary or maybe a little sappy. but just a little. as far as being generally affectionate, kind and considerate, that comes quite naturally to me and anyone i connect with and develops with the love and trust that drives us to want to do everything we can to take care of eachother's needs in every way possible.

being intuitively dominant, that means that i have certain desires and even needs that being submissive to my partners would not serve. i would not act upon any of my partners in a way that i would not trust them to do to me if we decided that it worked for us. some of the heavier, "scarier" or otherwise *not* for the amateur or uncommitted couple/group/whatever involves trusting my pyl to be both considerate and skilled in her actions, and she must trust me to be quite the same without fail day in and day out.

out of the bedroom, my partners have pretty much always been strong and dominant women in most aspects of their daily lives, often comparably dominant as to my own regular life capacities, and the same woman that will put her health and well-being in my hands in bed knows damn well that i will be responsible with that privilege and i make certain that she is capable of and serious about doing the same for me.

in short, the love is every bit as important as the sexual gratification, the sexual compatibility and general chemistry/attraction being just parts (though important ones!) of a powerful, loving, and preferably extremely committed relationship. when i am in a relationship in which my lover and i are mutually serious about taking care of eachother's needs and ONLY ourselves taking care of said needs, the little things that we only share with or entrust ourselves with make it so much easier to break down those walls and boundaries and really go where we could not possibly go with others, be it involving physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual ways. i would not have it any other way. there has been more love in relationships where the chemistry leads my girl at the time and myself to experiment sexually a great deal than in relationships where that it is not happening. the exploration of kink is both partially cause and partially effect of an extremely fulfilling relationship.

Great stuff!

*smiles*

Fury

 

[angel_girl]

Whenever I think that I should just give up this exploration...the Doms on this board post something that touches me...and I want to stay a while. Though I'm still just sitting pretty (for the most part).

 

[Netzach]

hugs, cuddles, love notes.

And taping his dick up into his body cavity before going to a cocktail reception tonight really says I love you to me.

 

[Bandit58]

We kiss, we cuddle, we snuggle up in bed together. We say "I love you" every day, several times a day. We hold hands when we go shopping. We smile and laugh. Whenever we walk past each other at home, we touch....a shoulder, arm, or hair. We have pet names.....in short, it's a loving, caring relationship - which just happens to have a D/s dynamic running through it

 

[callinectes]

hugs, cuddles, love notes.

And taping his dick up into his body cavity before going to a cocktail reception tonight really says I love you to me.

Netz, you crack me up. Too funny. Seriously though, what kind of tape do you use to do things like that with?

 

[callinectes]

Agincourt..as you can see from the wonderful posts on this thread, BDSM and loving affection are not mutually exclusive.

Besides being affectionate, my Dom nearly always prefaces his requests with a "please". There is no question that I am expected to do as he asks, but his couching them in such a nice way is not only sweet..it makes me feel more submissive, more relaxed, and safer. His language and tone allows me to feel like I truly am giving him the power, not that he is taking the power. It's a subtle difference but very powerful when applied. Being a dominant is not about shouting orders and strutting around with a flogger.

 

[Agincourt]

Agincourt..as you can see from the wonderful posts on this thread, BDSM and loving affection are not mutually exclusive.

Besides being affectionate, my Dom nearly always prefaces his requests with a "please". There is no question that I am expected to do as he asks, but his couching them in such a nice way is not only sweet..it makes me feel more submissive, more relaxed, and safer. His language and tone allows me to feel like I truly am giving him the power, not that he is taking the power. It's a subtle difference but very powerful when applied. Being a dominant is not about shouting orders and strutting around with a flogger.

Yes I've learned a lot and its very good to know. I was quite disheartened as I was reading through some of the other threads on this board before, however I have seen some of those same people who shocked me with their posts on those threads write some very sweet things on this one. I guess Its something I'll have to try to wrap my mind around, that someone can seem callus and brutal yet loving all at the same time... I have so much the learn

 

[callinectes]

Yes I've learned a lot and its very good to know. I was quite disheartened as I was reading through some of the other threads on this board before, however I have seen some of those same people who shocked me with their posts on those threads write some very sweet things on this one. I guess Its something I'll have to try to wrap my mind around, that someone can seem callus and brutal yet loving all at the same time... I have so much the learn

Don't roll your eyes, everyone had much to learn when they first starting learning about the lifestyle. I had same misgivings you did and believe me, it took me a while to wrap my brain around the concept. Keep in mind though, that there is no one size fits all..there as many ways to practice BDSM and D/s as there are couples engaged in it.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Spiritually?

Yes, spiritually.

While her beliefs and mine are not the same, I support her in her journey for spiritual truth. I do not demean or belittle her beliefs, I do not try to force her to pay lip service to mine. I listen to her beliefs and share mine freely. We discuss our thoughts and feelings and experiences on what may exist beyond the realm of the mere physical. The validation we each recieve by allowing one another to follow our own spiritual paths is vital to our own well being and the health of our relationship.

My views on the universe and it's Creator are not so narrow (nor am I so arrogant) as to presume that the Creator has to fit into some mold that my limited comprehension can create. If the Creator is not limited by my comprehension (or lack thereof), why should my girl's search for him be? Her path is different from mine and that's okay.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Let me say it again. I love your posts Evil Geoff...smiles

Why thank you cati! {{{{HUG}}}}

When do want that OTK scene?

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Always was envious of 'ol Gomez.

When I was growing up I wanted to BE Gomez....
*grins*

While I don't have the Addams family fortune, and I'm not quite as snappy a dresser, I think I got closer than I ever thought I would.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

When I was growing up I wanted to BE Gomez....
*grins*

While I don't have the Addams family fortune, and I'm not quite as snappy a dresser, I think I got closer than I ever thought I would.

Am I the only one here that identifies with Morticia as the Dominant in that 'Family'

 

[neonflux]

Am I the only one here that identifies with Morticia as the Dominant in that 'Family'

Absolutely not!

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Am I the only one here that identifies with Morticia as the Dominant in that 'Family'

Quite probably. I see her as the very strong, capable, alpha sub, Gomez the excited, exciting, impulsive and scatter-brained Dom...

Gomez is definitely a sadist and Top, Morticia is definitely a masochist and bottom. He comes up with the ideas, Morticia makes them work.

Like any good majordomo.

 

[Agincourt]

Quite probably. I see her as the very strong, capable, alpha sub, Gomez the excited, exciting, impulsive and scatter-brained Dom...

Gomez is definitely a sadist and Top, Morticia is definitely a masochist and bottom. He comes up with the ideas, Morticia makes them work.

Like any good majordomo.

I'd have to agress with that one... ha ha and who do the kids take after?

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Quite probably. I see her as the very strong, capable, alpha sub, Gomez the excited, exciting, impulsive and scatter-brained Dom...

Gomez is definitely a sadist and Top, Morticia is definitely a masochist and bottom. He comes up with the ideas, Morticia makes them work.

Like any good majordomo.

Hey Neon and Geoff Sir

See the scatter-brained part doesn't mesh with my personal experiences. If that part was occurring I certainly wasn't aware of it.

She emulates poise ............hmmmn

I am going to have to go away and think about this some more.

Cool the way he blew up trains though and Uncle Fester certainly had the Dungeon de jour .

You people so confuse me .........

 

[FurryFury]

Am I the only one here that identifies with Morticia as the Dominant in that 'Family'

Nope and she is also the only one in that family I'd do, well maybe Lurch too.

Fury

 

[neonflux]

Ah Rebecca, I think that I mistated my case - I absolutely see Morticia as the Domme, although, Sir Geoff, you certainly present an interesting interpretation.

Hey Neon and Geoff Sir

See the scatter-brained part doesn't mesh with my personal experiences. If that part was occurring I certainly wasn't aware of it.

She emulates poise ............hmmmn

I am going to have to go away and think about this some more.

Cool the way he blew up trains though and Uncle Fester certainly had the Dungeon de jour .

You people so confuse me .........