Who Knows About You?

[Quint]

I tell everyone who I consider friends at some point or other, usually in a shameless plug to get them to read my stuff. Sometimes they're shocked--I come across rather innocent in real life, go figure--but more often than not, they rather blushingly admit that my writing got to them.

Both SOs since I met Lit have known; the first took a rather bored support of me, the second a little more enthusiastic. He gives me lots of writing assignments anyway, so I know he likes what I do. And he already knows everything that I would love to write about, so I don't feel TOO ashamed showing it to him.

I really wish I felt comfortable telling my parents, because it's bloody inconvenient to keep minimizing the page whenever they walk by when I'm at their house, as in right now. But like MG, they already think I'm a little too "active" even without knowing exactly what sorts of things I'm active about.

 

[Lovepotion69]

Hm, a couple of friends know I write and come here. My parents would freak out if they knew. I'm trying to save both them and myself unnessary embarrassment (I have a feeling my spelling sucks tonight) and keep anything involving me and sex away from them.

 

[TheEarl]

Re: Re: Re: are you kidding?

With the comaradarie that I have with folks here at the AH and other authors with whom I correspond, no.

Camaradarie? No, he plays for Everton!

(For all of those going 'Eh?' it's a very old joke from a show called Soccer AM. I'd be amazed if even one person got it.)

Everyone knows that I write short stories, but only my sister and my ex g/f know what kind. They're both okay with it and don't stress, but I don't think I could ever be open with the world in general. The world in general wouldn't go mental, but it would view me in a different light and I'm not sure I'd like that.

I recently went on an adventure holiday with a group of people who I'd never met before and wouldn't meet again afterwards and decided to use them as a test group to see what it would be like if I told people. It was weird; they insisted on seeing some of it (If you think you're paranoid, then try printing out erotica from an internet cafe in a Muslim country) and took the piss a bit, but were generally all right. The only problem was that my writing became a focal point of who I was (to the extent that I got the nickname Porno) and 90% of conversations moved around to it.

The Earl

 

[Gabriel_Lee]

Some people I've met on-line know who I am and know I write here. No one, otherwise, does.

I'm not sure I'd necessarily mind other people knowing, but it's not the kind of thing you can easily undo. Not only that, but it would inhibit future writing and my ability to explore my depths of depravity.

GL

 

[jfinn]

All my family knows, but only one brother reads it. This isn't new though, they don't read the legit stuff either.

Only some of my friends know. It's just not a topic I can figure out how to work into a conversation with the rest. I don't work at the moment, but when I did I made it a habit to keep my private life separate so I'd never discuss any of my writing there.

I guess the bottom line is that I don't really care if someone knows, but I'm not interested really in making it an issue either.

Jayne

 

[fiery_jack]

Who knows that you write porn/erotica?

I mean, who knows that you, as your real life persona, write and publish stuff here? Anyone? Everyone?

How do you feel about what you publish here in regard to people knowing? Does it embarrass you? Are you proud of it? And if it embarrasses you, does it embarrass you because of the subject matter, or because of the quality of the writing?


---dr.M.

Nobody knows. Uther_Pendragon almost took the words right out of my mouth.

It does embarrass me in a way, quality-wise. I may think i'm improving with each story, but my ego is too susceptible when it comes down to what i write.

The subject matter is irrelevant, i write what i want. Always have, always will.

 

[fiery_jack]

Re: Re: Re: Re: are you kidding?

Camaradarie? No, he plays for Everton!

(For all of those going 'Eh?' it's a very old joke from a show called Soccer AM. I'd be amazed if even one person got it.)

The Earl

I thought they'd shipped him out to Bradford for being a prat, surplus to require ments now Mickey the boy wonder has come of age...

 

[Singularity]

No One....

Other than those met here, or via feedback.

I like to keep the different universes on separate planes of existence.

Athough I do try to imagine the reaction if I told some of the people I know.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

jfinn said:

"All my family knows, but only one brother reads it. This isn't new though, they don't read the legit stuff either.

Only some of my friends know. It's just not a topic I can figure out how to work into a conversation with the rest. I don't work at the moment, but when I did I made it a habit to keep my private life separate so I'd never discuss any of my writing there.

I guess the bottom line is that I don't really care if someone knows, but I'm not interested really in making it an issue either.

Jayne


__________________
My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror.
~ W.Somerset Maugham"
-----------------------------------------------

I'd have to agree with Jayne but disagree with Maugham. Maybe it was true when he said it, but now I'd subsitutue "boredom and indifference" for "surprise and horror".

I've had periods where I concealed my writing and and periods where I've made no secret of it, and I can't say that telling people has had much of an effect, certainly nothing like what I thought it would have. In general, friends and relatives are more taken aback by the fact that I write at all than by the knowledge that I write porn. In my experience, what shocks people and draws the raised eyebrows is the thought that I'll sit at home and work on this stuff for hours without a hope of getting paid. They just can't understand that at all. Not to make too much of it, but I think that says something about American values these days: the only real sin is the failure to earn money.

My family knows, probably even my kids. They're 16, 12 and 12, and they know that Daddy spends a lot of time writing stories that they're not supposed to see. I don't think the logic is beyond them. They're about as interested in seing what I write as anyone would be given a chance to learn the details of his parents' sex lives, which is like: Eeeeew! Run out of the room screaming. My stuff is much more secure with them having an idea of what it's about than it would be if I kept it under lock and key.

Most of the friends who know have no desire to read what I've written, and I think if someone came out of the porno closet to me, I wouldn't especially want to read their stuff either, although I would take a professional interest. There's somethings you just don't care to know about a person. *L*

Anyhow, I'm more concerned with what people think of me as a writer than of what they think of my subject, and it seems to me that I get more funny looks from confessing to the sin of writing than I do from claiming to write about sex.

---dr.M.

 

[Rainbow Skin]

As to writing, I would love to proclaim to the world that I'm a writer, here are my stories, this is what I love doing...

Pity I haven't really got anything I can show anyone. I'm trying to get into the habit more so when I airily say 'I write stories' I can produce evidence.

Problem is, a story here I can end by thinking 'get up to the bit where they have sex, then stop'; but any other story has no comparably obvious resolution, so I flounder a lot more.

 

[Why]

Anyhow, I'm more concerned with what people think of me as a writer than of what they think of my subject, and it seems to me that I get more funny looks from confessing to the sin of writing than I do from claiming to write about sex.

---dr.M.

Bingo!!!! So right Dear Sir, so right! I have found people look at me as if I have grown two heads, if I actually say that a spent an evening writing rather than watching Eastenders and Big Brother!

Sex they understand. Writing on the other hand *sigh*

 

[oggbashan]

My dad would probably shrug it off too...but the idea of telling my dad jsut makes me cringe..i mean really i don't think he want's to know his little girl is in anyway sexual let alone find out she writes erotica!

As a Dad of three women, all of whom have SOs, I can understand English Lady's concern. Dads aren't supposed to do it, nor Mums, or even supposed to know that their daughters might be doing it.

Dads were never young. Dads never went behind the bike shed (over 18 at university of course). Dads don't know that their daughters have sex.

So why do we tactfully ring up their flat before visiting? Why do we ignore male items of clothing hurriedly stuffed behind furniture? Why do we pretend that the male "friend" so casually introduced is a honest and upright prat who would never do "it" with our daughter?

It is a polite fiction to protect both Dads and daughters. If she doesn't tell, Dad doesn't know. Of course he does, but he won't tell either even if he thinks that the male "friend" must be good in bed because he hasn't got any other outstanding talent.

So keep protecting Dad from the knowledge he already has. If he is a normal Dad who has been with you as you grew up he's seen it all - the tears when she's dumped, the elation when "he" makes a date, the fury when "he" is seen with another and all the soul searching and anguish that "he" isn't worth.

If like me he has three daughters, by the time those daughters are independent young women he has seen enough, even if the daughters never say a word.

What he won't admit is that any his daughters might have been cruel or unkind to the "he". After all, he is their Dad. He is entitled to be biased and to take his daughter's side at all times.

He might start out by thinking that there is no man who is good enough for his daughters, but after a few false starts, any male that his daughters choose has to be acceptable because he trusts his daughters' judgement.

Don't underestimate what Dad might know.

Og

 

[peachykeen]

One of my sisters, my husband, and a few of my friends know specifically about Lit. Most everyone else knows I write 'stuff' and most have seen bits of my non-erotic pieces.

As someone earlier already commented, I'm not ashamed/embarrassed for anyone else to know about my "dirty little stories" (which is how I refer to them with the folks that do know), but I'm not going to broadcast it either. I mean, I wouldn't care if people I work with knew, for example, except for the fact that it might well make them more uncomfortable for whatever reason than it would make me and who needs an awkward situation at work?

 

[Guest]

Dear, dear Ogg:

Very tender post. You make me miss my papa. Thanks.

Perdita

--------------
To others, as a mom, I also add:
Don't underestimate what your kids might know, it's almost always more than you think, and often more than you'd even care to imagine.

 

[English Lady]

Og...you are so right!


what more can be said?

 

[SlaveMasterUK]

I have to be honest and say, pretty much everyone knows that I write. Most of the lads my age (early 20s) seem to think this is part of my nerd closet-boy background showing thru. Only 3 of my closest male buddies know that I write erotica (or Porn as they insist on calling it), only 1 expressed an interest in reading it - he borrowed a hardcopy for 6 weeks and managed half of it before saying he "didn't have time" then bought a fiction novel the following week. I have now taken to reading him a few pages of the story after each weekend drinking session, which he tells me he is greatly enjoying as its getting to the bit with the good plot twists... (interestingly while I was reading one scene last week, I heard a shout from the opposite room, the occupant of which I assumed was asleep, "Am I the only one who's got a semi?")

I tell pretty much all the girls my age and most are interested or indifferent, some think "typical guy" (I once met a couple of lesbians while away on business and they insisted EVERY guy writes lesbian stories) and some really love the idea. I have 3 very close female friends who I share a lot with, and they have all read the story and given me some great feedback.

I wish I had started writing erotica properly before my ex-GF left. I really wish she could read Rhiana, even two years after we broke up. We had a very open sex life and were constantly trying new things; from the effect this story has had on other straight girls, I think it would have added a very special spice.

My new GF is very shy about sex and sexuality in general. I have told her I write stories, and have hinted at their general idea, but have not told her they are sexually explicit or involve plenty of lesbianism. I feel I will sometime, but for some reason since going out with her I have lost all urge whatsoever to finish my current story.

I have not told my parents I write erotica. I say "I've published a story online and got some really good feedback" and they say well done, perhaps you should try getting something published. Deep inside I would be really love them to find it and start reading - perhaps the exhibitionist in me.

When I was on business last month I had a hardcopy of Rhiana with me, and I tactfully left it on an open page, half-inside a carboard wallet sticking out of my bag in the hotel room. When I returned that evening, I found the story had been disturbed, and yet the bag did not appear to have been moved... Interestingly the hardcopy has "Rhiana" heading every page and "www.literotica.com" on each footer...

A few people know that I post on lit, but I don't think any knew of its existence beforehand. I haven't told anyone my online name, however during a drinking session 2 weeks ago a friend was drinking a local brew called "Snakemaster", which I insisted on calling Slavemaster all evening...

ax

 

[Svenskaflicka]

My family knows, probably even my kids. They're 16, 12 and 12, and they know that Daddy spends a lot of time writing stories that they're not supposed to see. I don't think the logic is beyond them. They're about as interested in seing what I write as anyone would be given a chance to learn the details of his parents' sex lives, which is like: Eeeeew! Run out of the room screaming. My stuff is much more secure with them having an idea of what it's about than it would be if I kept it under lock and key.

Excellent point.

 

[TheEarl]

It's just not a topic I can figure out how to work into a conversation with the rest. I don't work at the moment, but when I did I made it a habit to keep my private life separate so I'd never discuss any of my writing there.

I find it difficult to keep out of conversations. I mention that I write a lot in my spare time, I usually get 'What do you write?' to which the answer 'short stories' is rarely enough to stem further curiosity. It's hard to not say what the subject matter is.

The Earl

 

[pocket rocket]

in the know...

This is a great thread and what a good question to put to everyone. As for me, several people know I write and have contributed to the site. An ex-girlfriend was the one that started it for me and she still reads my stuff. I have shared my stories with a number of close intimate friends and with no sense of embarassment. Those in the know, know me as someone who will do what is right for me and writing erotica is something I do for my own entertainment and if others enjoy them as well, all the better! My family is a different situation. Background behind what it is and more mainstream attitudes would prevent them from understanding that I don't see it is porn but something else altogether. Very little chance that any of them would stumble on this side of me and if they did....what were they up to looking at this site anyway? hee hee

 

[jfinn]

I'd have to agree with Jayne but disagree with Maugham. Maybe it was true when he said it, but now I'd subsitutue "boredom and indifference" for "surprise and horror".

---dr.M. [/B]

Excellent point! I may have to look for another quote.

Jayne

 

[BlackSnake]

My office mate, Lexium, and my former fuck buddies...nobody that would cause problems.

 

[Just-Legal]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: are you kidding?

I thought they'd shipped him out to Bradford for being a prat, surplus to require ments now Mickey the boy wonder has come of age...

grr!

Football!

Take it outside!

 

[MNGuy]

People know I write, a select few know about the erotica.

When I was single, my standing offer, before posting some stuff on Lit, was that I would let a woman read my work, which was predominately personal fantasies, only if they agreed to two conditions:

1. They had to read it in my presence.
2. Since it was a personal fantasy, and I opened up and exposed myself, they would have to expose themselves, and read it naked.

Yes, I'm a pig, and yes, it did work on occasion.

 

[CWatson]

Some of my close Internet friends know. Because of overlap, that ends up including some of my IRL friends, including my sister. However, only two of those people have SEEN the stories, and only ONE knows where I post. She's my editor. It hasn't yet come back and bitten me in the ass. Maybe that's because I've only been published for less than twenty days. Maybe it's because all of the friends who know I do this, aren't squeamish. Plus, we're all young. And horny. Maybe in ten years we'll all become disapproving.

 

[Guest]

Excellent thread