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Why did you divorce?

Married too young, and different sex drives/wants. Our interests went in different ways and eventually I looked elsewhere and we unraveled. Very bitter and we don't cross paths much which is a good thing.
 
betabrad said:
My wife left me because I was too small , came too quickly and couldn't satisfy her in bed.
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I've known more than a few couples whose sex life was (or is) not to their liking, but your wife leaving you for that seems particularly harsh. I am sorry to hear that she left you, but honestly, I think she did you a favor.
 
Johnlasting22 said:
Got married young to my best friend. Realized after 5 years that we were better friends than a couple. Still occasionally fuck from time to time. The sex is 10x better now than before!
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I know of a lot of people who ruined a good friendship by getting married to each other. Glad you discovered that before you got too far into it!
 
My ex was a beautiful melancholy girl when I met her. She was optimistic and into adventure and claimed to love everything I was into…

We didn’t take it slow enough to get to know each other before we were married with a baby on the way. I thought maybe it was hormones and just the stress of major events but my wife started displaying severe mood swings and violent tendencies.

It came out in counseling that she is bipolar and was later diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She’s very good at presenting well and is the nicest person you’ll ever meet - until something triggers her.

She would pick a fight about any random thing and get violent, then call the police and report that I was abusing her. She stormed out of our last counseling session when the counselor suggested she could benefit from individual therapy.

I waited until she was having a calm and lucid moment then asked if she was interested in working on our relationship. She said “Fuck the hell off! Why would I want to fix things with a faggot like you?”

It was a surreal moment - on the one hand our marriage and family was over, on the other hand I was off the hook, she made the decision.
 
She left me to go back to her ex BF, a black guy she dated a couple years before we met. She told me she thought it was just a phase but after sex with me, she really does crave BBC. Now I'm obsessed with IR & especially BBC's. I'll edge for hours thinking of her taking his superior black cock.
 
Married nearly 20 years before we divorced. After her first affair, we managed to patch things up and our relationship was actually great again for awhile. I told her, and she agreed, that if she ever wanted to have sex with someone else in the future that I would support her as long as we discussed it in advance. She had a second affair (that I'm aware of) about 18 months later and failed to discuss it with me until I confronted her. I didn't give her a second chance and started divorce proceedings immediately.

One of the reasons she gave for having the first affair was that my job required me to travel frequently and she always thought I was having sex every time I was out of town. She couldn't have been more wrong. I never cheated on her once during our nearly 20 years of marriage. After her first affair, she told me I could have sex with someone else because she "owed me one" but I never did, not even after her second affair. I waited until the divorce was final, then went crazy - trying to make up for 20 years of monogamy.
 
18 years, then something in the wife snapped....multiple sexual partners, 2 years of therapy, then 'surprise'
another affair. I ejected, now mind you I was not perfect, but I never stepped out. Now, we are friends again and I forgave her because I saw that she had other issues bigger than "us". She, in turn forgave me for taking her for granted and more.
 
BiDrew42 said:
Married nearly 20 years before we divorced. After her first affair, we managed to patch things up and our relationship was actually great again for awhile. I told her, and she agreed, that if she ever wanted to have sex with someone else in the future that I would support her as long as we discussed it in advance. She had a second affair (that I'm aware of) about 18 months later and failed to discuss it with me until I confronted her. I didn't give her a second chance and started divorce proceedings immediately.

One of the reasons she gave for having the first affair was that my job required me to travel frequently and she always thought I was having sex every time I was out of town. She couldn't have been more wrong. I never cheated on her once during our nearly 20 years of marriage. After her first affair, she told me I could have sex with someone else because she "owed me one" but I never did, not even after her second affair. I waited until the divorce was final, then went crazy - trying to make up for 20 years of monogamy.
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Nice guys finish last..."I are one"
 
Tubeluver said:
My first divorce happened when our son died at 11 months, I couldn’t handle that she showed no emotion. However, it was her who left and filed. My second & I only lived together for 4 months. Don’t remember how we got on the subject, but she told me her ex was about 12” long and about as big around as a can of beer! I knew immediately that with my average size, I had never satisfied her nor would I ever! My 3rd wife & I have been married 35 years, I’m thinking this one might work!
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Third time's a charm! Congrats!
 
Married 17 years the first time.

The first few years were good, she hid her depression and other emotional issues behind a smiling face.

The kids came and her emotional issues got worse and she was unable to hide them. She began self medicating with alcohol. I came home several times to her passed out and the kids unsupervised. Got her into AA and things got better for a while.

A few years later, she moved on to prescription pain meds and started abusing them. Multiple doctors and pharmacies cut her off. Just like any addict, she always had an excuse and blamed everyone and everything for her problems.

We tried therapy and counseling, nothing was effective. I finally reached my limit and left with the kids. It was the best decision I ever made.

She ultimately died of the effects of too much alcohol and too many pills a few years later.

I was single for 10 years before marrying my current wife. Our life isn't perfect, breast cancer induced menopause has wreaked havoc on our sex life, but we are best friends, true partners and we work through our issues.

I wish she was the first wife, but then I wouldn't have my 3 beautiful children.
 
Mohavekid said:
Married 17 years the first time.

The first few years were good, she hid her depression and other emotional issues behind a smiling face.

The kids came and her emotional issues got worse and she was unable to hide them. She began self medicating with alcohol. I came home several times to her passed out and the kids unsupervised. Got her into AA and things got better for a while.

A few years later, she moved on to prescription pain meds and started abusing them. Multiple doctors and pharmacies cut her off. Just like any addict, she always had an excuse and blamed everyone and everything for her problems.

We tried therapy and counseling, nothing was effective. I finally reached my limit and left with the kids. It was the best decision I ever made.

She ultimately died of the effects of too much alcohol and too many pills a few years later.

I was single for 10 years before marrying my current wife. Our life isn't perfect, breast cancer induced menopause has wreaked havoc on our sex life, but we are best friends, true partners and we work through our issues.

I wish she was the first wife, but then I wouldn't have my 3 beautiful children.
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That's a very sad story, but it really highlights the fact that if someone doesn't want to get better, it's impossible to make them. I'm glad you made it through with your children. You're correct - they are the good things that came out of your first marriage!
 
She fell in love with a 17 year old dishwasher at the restaurant she worked at, she was 23. Took her about 2-3 years to figure out what a huge mistake she made but it was too late, I was happily remarried with 2 more kids of my own.
 
jpro56 said:
She fell in love with a 17 year old dishwasher at the restaurant she worked at, she was 23. Took her about 2-3 years to figure out what a huge mistake she made but it was too late, I was happily remarried with 2 more kids of my own.
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Did you get a little satisfaction when she realized her mistake?
 
Over 20 years ago. I am well past the anger and all those other negative thoughts. Long story short…..sex. We both got married in our early 30’s (me) and early 40’s (her). The sex when we were dating was hot, erotic, and kinky! Decided to ask her to be my wife. She accepted.

Then the sex changed. She blamed it on the stress of planning the wedding. Then after we got married, she blamed it on house hunting, stress at the job, life as a new wife, etc etc. Folks, this is during the first year of marriage. I wanted children; she wanted a new career. Ob/gyn told us that menopause will hit soon so it is either kids or career. She chose career. She new i already had a son but wanted more; during our courtship she also told me she wanted children. Menopause hit, her sex drive shut off completely. She also didn’t want that career anymore??

There was more. Her “rules” of marriage and mine were completely different. They weren’t when we were dating. She didn’t want my son in “our” lives anymore. Stressed out when I wanted to see my mother, sister, and father. Began to manipulate our finances. The arguments began monthly, then weekly, then daily. Friends and coworkers told me she is nuts. Behind my back, she showed her true side but put on a false one for me. Always a reason, always an excuse. She pretended to be someone else. All to get a husband. Shame.

Divorced after only 3 years of marriage. She went bat shit crazy. The divorce lasted longer than the actual marriage, lol. When it was finalized, I took a deep breath! :)

Found someone wonderful who had the same experience. We have been happily married for 20 years now. :)

Moral of this long story, be yourself. Talk to each other before marriage and be honest. Nothing wrong with not wanting children but tell your partner that upfront. Don’t deceive. Be honest. :)
 
Fortunately we haven’t. But I will admit we came within a pubic hair of splitting when she first cheated. Her second tryst year’s later I openly embraced.
 
We were married 30 years but the sex died very, very early in our marriage. Also for 15 of those years we lived apart because one of my anxiety quirks is I get worse if I have to share my space. I can't deal with being around even the people I love the most more than a tiny handful of hours before my anxiety and panic disorders begin to take hold.

She and I are still each other's best friend, though. It just turned out we made better friends than spouses.
 
Married 13 years. I had been attracted to her in part because she wasn’t as wildly emotional as my previous partners, successful, mature, etc. We had several great years but the sex dropped off steadily from the beginning. She withdrew into her own world. It became a battle even to get her to join me for a meal. By the time I discovered that she was cheating on me it became a relief.
 
PapaRomantic said:
There seems to be a common theme to both of your examples - it was okay for her to have hers, but not so okay for you to have yours. I wonder if this is more prominent than I've thought before?

Thanks for your responses!
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well said and i think mostly true
 
We grew apart, I felt that she became old, boring and no fun, she resented the amount of time I spent building a business to provide for the family. She lost all interest in intimacy and sex, probably all related to us growing apart etc. Now 16 years on, she lives a very little life and I'm out enjoying life, I'm a lot happier but she doesn't seem to be; a few years ago she told me "I thought that you were the problem with my life but now I realise you weren't"
 
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