Why do I crave creampie?

[jlightfoot75]

The reason I’m posting here is because I’d like to try to understand why I have this fetish, and where it comes from. I want to know why the thought of my wife’s pussy full of cum instantly turns me on, and why I want to suck and lick it out of her so bad. I don’t think it has anything to do with other men because the thought of her being fucked by another guy completely turns me off…. but maybe it does??? I really don’t think so, though.

It just seems like an intense fetish about licking and sucking my cum out of my wife’s pussy. We’ve been together for 20 years, but the fetish is relatively new. I particularly get off on the idea of her deliberately fucking me with the intent to straddle my face and drip my fluids back into my mouth. Then, forcing me to orally bring her to orgasm; leaving her so clean she needs no further wash up afterwards. It’s borderline obsessive. Whenever we’re fucking lately, I stop periodically to lick between her legs and clean whatever mess we’re making. It’s crazy how arousing it is for me.

However, like so many others people who post about this subject, I totally lose interest once I cum. Strangely, after I cum, the desire to lick her clean is still present, but the passion for it is gone. Sort of like seeing your favorite food but not being hungry. If pressed, you’d happily eat it, but you really don’t want to. So if she made me / forced me, I’d be all over it. This isn’t really a problem because we’ve been talking through it and trying to figure out ways to make my fetish fantasy happen.

But I can’t help but think this is super weird and wonder why I have it. Why do I want to suck the cum out of my wife’s pussy??? My wife seems cool with it and is fortunately entertaining ways to help me out with it.

I feel this in my bone. I know exactly what you are feeling.

 

[Tom_Brown]

Thanks for this post. I am 100% straight and have no desire to eat/taste male cum (mine or other men’s). But….

I am extremely excited by the thought of seeing creampies. My wife has never been on any contraception, so dumping a load in her pussy was never an option. The 2 men who had fucked her after we were married, both wore condoms.

I have told her that I wish that she would take a lover, but she refused. My ultimate fantasy would be to see another guy’s gobs of cum oozing from her recently abused fuckhole. I fantasize that her lover is fixed and she allows him to cum in her.

Now that she passed menopause, I’m hoping that she does have a lover who cums in her and I can see proof that another man has filled her with his seed.

 

[Twincam1550]

I think the submissiveness of it is a factor.

 

[Northsidejoe]

I think the submissiveness of it is a factor.

I think it is too, in many cases, but certainly not all. I see where many folks say that they like the submissiveness of this act, but in my own case I don't think I'm submissive at all. My GF asked for it, she didn't demand it. I flatly refused at first. She did keep asking though. Finally, I agreed to do it on a one time only basis. Ahe had an amazing orgasm from it and I felt great knowing I made her cum like that. I felt so nasty too! It became a regular thing because I wanted to do it for her as much as she wanted it. I suppose it could be considered a submissive act, but I'm certainly not submissive in this relationship!

 

[Dreamer110]

What's not to crave? Delicious flavor and makes her squirm. Even better if someone else made it in my wife.

 

[curiousitieskill]

The reason I’m posting here is because I’d like to try to understand why I have this fetish, and where it comes from. I want to know why the thought of my wife’s pussy full of cum instantly turns me on, and why I want to suck and lick it out of her so bad. I don’t think it has anything to do with other men because the thought of her being fucked by another guy completely turns me off…. but maybe it does??? I really don’t think so, though.

It just seems like an intense fetish about licking and sucking my cum out of my wife’s pussy. We’ve been together for 20 years, but the fetish is relatively new. I particularly get off on the idea of her deliberately fucking me with the intent to straddle my face and drip my fluids back into my mouth. Then, forcing me to orally bring her to orgasm; leaving her so clean she needs no further wash up afterwards. It’s borderline obsessive. Whenever we’re fucking lately, I stop periodically to lick between her legs and clean whatever mess we’re making. It’s crazy how arousing it is for me.

However, like so many others people who post about this subject, I totally lose interest once I cum. Strangely, after I cum, the desire to lick her clean is still present, but the passion for it is gone. Sort of like seeing your favorite food but not being hungry. If pressed, you’d happily eat it, but you really don’t want to. So if she made me / forced me, I’d be all over it. This isn’t really a problem because we’ve been talking through it and trying to figure out ways to make my fetish fantasy happen.

But I can’t help but think this is super weird and wonder why I have it. Why do I want to suck the cum out of my wife’s pussy??? My wife seems cool with it and is fortunately entertaining ways to help me out with it.

fuck.

 

[IARainman]

What's not to crave? Delicious flavor and makes her squirm. Even better if someone else made it in my wife.

I volunteer

 

[TheVegasMark]

I love the smell, texture and flavor of a cum filled pussy...I am here for whatever she wants to do...So it's her unspoken choice if she wants more she places me on my back and straddles my face for what could be casual cleam up or an intense focus on achieving another climax...Bottom line...It's HOT...!!

 

[write_or_wrong]

I’ve wondered this as well. I suspect that some of it may be due to how our brains connect memories to scents and tastes. Have you come across a smell that stirs up old memories? Maybe a smell that reminds you of your grandmother’s kitchen? Maybe this is part of the bonding mechanism that sex provides. I know that eating out my wife after sex leaves really strong memory imprints that seem to leave a long-lasting afterglow and good feelings towards her.

Very interesting perspective. Thanks!

 

[TheVegasMark]

Very interesting perspective. Thanks!

Thats good...But why do I look at them all that way...??...LOL...!!

 

[daystate]

There could be a song here.
"I love creampies,
We all love creampies,
Big ones,little ones,
Especially the sloppy ones.
Serve it to me..."
Not exactly Eurovision standards.

 

[SPARTAN047]

I haven't done this enough, but I really want to lick a sweet creampie out of a sexy freshly fucked arsehole or pussy. Even feet would make me drool covered in cum.

 

[Wildman181818]

Thanks for asking. I have the same question. I hate how fast the desire evaporates once I have my orgasm. In an MMF I can eat the other guy's cum from the female, and that's terrific. If it's just a woman with me, the only time I've been able to eat the creampie naturally is when some time has passed since my ejaculation. Of course that means a lot of the "filling" of the pie has already leaked out. I have found that it is possible, though tricky, to have an ejaculation without the full orgasm, which provides the pie without killing the desire to eat it. This lets me glaze a woman's breasts or labia and then eagerly lick them clean. Unfortunately, not all my partners have found this exciting. I'll be watching for responses from others.

It takes a lot of mental practice to “stay in the mood”. Once you have it, it’s wonderful.

 

[write_or_wrong]

I’ve wondered this as well. I suspect that some of it may be due to how our brains connect memories to scents and tastes. Have you come across a smell that stirs up old memories? Maybe a smell that reminds you of your grandmother’s kitchen? Maybe this is part of the bonding mechanism that sex provides. I know that eating out my wife after sex leaves really strong memory imprints that seem to leave a long-lasting afterglow and good feelings towards her.

I think you bring up an excellent hypothesis. Smell has been critical to survival for many species, from sensing prey or predators, to detecting females ready for breeding. And I have had hundreds of those moments where a particular smell almost creates a vision of some past experience.

If true, this might explain why some people report getting over the post-orgasmic let-down the same way the old joke explains how to get to Carnegie Hall: practice, practice, practice.

 

[Lvncreampies]

We’ve successfully done it maybe a couple of times. I can clearly remember one time where she basically flipped around into a 69 after I finished in her. Probably half of it spilled out somewhere while she was shifting position. But once she was in position and there was nowhere for me to go, I dove in and it was great. And in hindsight, the sensation of that impending drop slipping past her lips onto my tongue was euphoric.

I’ve also managed the ruined orgasm technique a few times too. I basically stop thrusting right at the point of no return and bury myself in her. If I get it just right and hold still, I’ll start emptying into her without actually having an orgasm. It doesn’t end up being a full load, but it produces a pretty decent creampie while maintaining my sex drive and desire to eat her out. This is not my favorite though because (1) it ruins my orgasm and (2) she get’s frustrated by it because she doesn’t know what’s happening and it messes up her rhythm. We have to clearly communicate before we start if I’m going to pull this stunt because she gets MAAAD if her orgasm gets ruined. haha.

I’m like you and have no interest in sharing her with anyone. The thought repulses me, too. She’s on the same page as well. No judgement towards anyone else… it’s just not for us.

We’re at the point where I’ve mustered up the courage to have open conversations with her about it - because I’m massively insecure about it. And she’s asked me, “why do you like this?” and I have no answer. I don’t know why. Even right now, the thought of sticking my tongue into her cum filled hole is getting me excited as I type this. And I can’t explain it. I’m trying to understand where the desire comes from.

She’ll say, “It’s kind of gross. You really want to stick you face in there after?” and I’m like, “Yes! very much so. But also, no. So I want you to make me do it.” This confuses the crap out of her. She can’t get her head around “forcing” me to do something like this. Which is another weird element to the kink…. I want HER to want me to do it. I want it to be something she gets off on, too.

I go through the same thing. I also wonder why I want to so much. Also just like you, I am not sharing my wife it repulse both of us.

My wife was and still is confused why I want it so much, she hates the taste smell and feel of cum. The only place I was allowed to cum was in her pussy.

She was also confused why I backed out if I truly wanted it.

First, explain the Post Orgasmic Blues to her. My wife researched it and found out why I backed out. For a Father's day present a few years ago she strapped me down to the bed and made me follow through. (You can see our posts and read our full story. )

Second, I have figured out several reasons why I desire it so much. 1. It's a little taboo and kinky and I get to do it with my wife, my best friend, the woman I love soooooo much.
2. I am going to agree with the person that wrote that you must want to be submissive to your wife with sex. I love hearing her tell me "I am going to sit my cum filled pussy on your face and mouth. " I almost always cum when she starts saying that.
3. There is a major thrill with the emotions of I might not want to but I am going to be forced to follow through, this is kinky, she's really going to sit her beautiful cum filled pussy on my face and mouth. I am really going to lick her clean of my cum mess. Many different thoughts driving those emotions.
4. I love licking her pussy. This intensifies the experience.
Just to get started

 

[Luganis]

I go through the same thing. I also wonder why I want to so much. Also just like you, I am not sharing my wife it repulse both of us.

My wife was and still is confused why I want it so much, she hates the taste smell and feel of cum. The only place I was allowed to cum was in her pussy.

She was also confused why I backed out if I truly wanted it.

First, explain the Post Orgasmic Blues to her. My wife researched it and found out why I backed out. For a Father's day present a few years ago she strapped me down to the bed and made me follow through. (You can see our posts and read our full story. )

Second, I have figured out several reasons why I desire it so much. 1. It's a little taboo and kinky and I get to do it with my wife, my best friend, the woman I love soooooo much.
2. I am going to agree with the person that wrote that you must want to be submissive to your wife with sex. I love hearing her tell me "I am going to sit my cum filled pussy on your face and mouth. " I almost always cum when she starts saying that.
3. There is a major thrill with the emotions of I might not want to but I am going to be forced to follow through, this is kinky, she's really going to sit her beautiful cum filled pussy on my face and mouth. I am really going to lick her clean of my cum mess. Many different thoughts driving those emotions.
4. I love licking her pussy. This intensifies the experience.
Just to get started

To me it started years ago when my GF kissed me after I came in her mouth. It evolved to snowballing and finally eating her filled pussy. Every single time became an adrenaline rush.
I love when she initiates sex. It might be that I like to be submissive to her.

 

[LeeKee]

It takes a lot of mental practice to “stay in the mood”. Once you have it, it’s wonderful.

Working up to this. I've made up my mind to give it a go. Wish me luck!

 

[Dreamer110]

Because after the first taste I was hooked.

 

[pershash21]

Working up to this. I've made up my mind to give it a go. Wish me luck!

Start on her clit. If you came deep inside her there won't be any cum there. And then as you get turned on move towards the vagina and the cum.

 

[fma20fma]

bareback anal is best enjoyed with creampie and the peak pleasure occurs when the semen is purged out visual for the giver and feeling for the receiver.

 

[PLUMBZILLA]

Well…. we talked again and had some play time tonight. She played the part perfectly and fed me my delicious treat. It was awesome. We ended up doing the 69 position again, which worked out well. I’m going to have to work her up to straddling my face. I’m really looking forward to when she feels confident enough to do that.

It was interesting because she totally got into it once she let go. Afterwards we had a little debrief and talked about what we liked and what we didn’t. No negatives were mentioned, only positives. She said she liked it but didn’t want to do it all the time, which is fine because neither do I. It turns out she really enjoyed bossing me around and that she’d be happy to play the part now and then. We also agreed that from now on, if I finish before she does, she’ll make me clean up (we climax at the same time more often than not). But I have a safe word if I’m not into it that particular day.

I still don’t understand why this is such a turn on for me…. but at least I seem to be on the right path to enjoying it. While we were talking about it afterwards, I was already starting to fantasize about doing it again. I’m still interested to hear theories on this….

It’s a biological drive. At the core it is about an animalistic breeding imperative and controlling what semen stays where. I remember seeing something about elk or carabou

Well…. we talked again and had some play time tonight. She played the part perfectly and fed me my delicious treat. It was awesome. We ended up doing the 69 position again, which worked out well. I’m going to have to work her up to straddling my face. I’m really looking forward to when she feels confident enough to do that.

It was interesting because she totally got into it once she let go. Afterwards we had a little debrief and talked about what we liked and what we didn’t. No negatives were mentioned, only positives. She said she liked it but didn’t want to do it all the time, which is fine because neither do I. It turns out she really enjoyed bossing me around and that she’d be happy to play the part now and then. We also agreed that from now on, if I finish before she does, she’ll make me clean up (we climax at the same time more often than not). But I have a safe word if I’m not into it that particular day.

I still don’t understand why this is such a turn on for me…. but at least I seem to be on the right path to enjoying it. While we were talking about it afterwards, I was already starting to fantasize about doing it again. I’m still interested to hear theories on this….

It’s a biological drive. At the core it is about an animalistic breeding imperative and controlling what semen stays where. I remember seeing something about elk (or caribou) where the buck would clean out the doe, with a long tongue, and then breed her. They are getting rid of competitors seed and planting their own. They even said that the shape of a penis, with that ridge around the bottom of the helmet, is to help extract other semen on the out-stroke. Chemically, the male’s attraction to semen is strong at the outset, then almost totally absent after they ejaculate, in such a way that their own (now icky) semen stays where they left it.

 

[Lamia03]

I love the smell, texture and flavor of a cum filled pussy...I am here for whatever she wants to do...So it's her unspoken choice if she wants more she places me on my back and straddles my face for what could be casual cleam up or an intense focus on achieving another climax...Bottom line...It's HOT...!!

I love your reply!

 

[write_or_wrong]

The reason I’m posting here is because I’d like to try to understand why I have this fetish, and where it comes from. I want to know why the thought of my wife’s pussy full of cum instantly turns me on, and why I want to suck and lick it out of her so bad. I don’t think it has anything to do with other men because the thought of her being fucked by another guy completely turns me off…. but maybe it does??? I really don’t think so, though.

It just seems like an intense fetish about licking and sucking my cum out of my wife’s pussy. We’ve been together for 20 years, but the fetish is relatively new. I particularly get off on the idea of her deliberately fucking me with the intent to straddle my face and drip my fluids back into my mouth. Then, forcing me to orally bring her to orgasm; leaving her so clean she needs no further wash up afterwards. It’s borderline obsessive. Whenever we’re fucking lately, I stop periodically to lick between her legs and clean whatever mess we’re making. It’s crazy how arousing it is for me.

However, like so many others people who post about this subject, I totally lose interest once I cum. Strangely, after I cum, the desire to lick her clean is still present, but the passion for it is gone. Sort of like seeing your favorite food but not being hungry. If pressed, you’d happily eat it, but you really don’t want to. So if she made me / forced me, I’d be all over it. This isn’t really a problem because we’ve been talking through it and trying to figure out ways to make my fetish fantasy happen.

But I can’t help but think this is super weird and wonder why I have it. Why do I want to suck the cum out of my wife’s pussy??? My wife seems cool with it and is fortunately entertaining ways to help me out with it.

The most positive aspect of your post is the willingness of your wife to support your desire to eat a creampie. That shows she wants to please you and probably shows she will get a great orgasm out of it when it finally happens.

I happen to think the evolutionary drive to reject another male's sperm is somehow connected to the passion for creampie eating. Science suggests the head on a penis is designed (or evolved) for pumping out anyone else's cum so the latest mating will be the successful one.

There is also the aspect of being as close to a sexual event as you can get. Hearing someone describe a sexual encounter: Sexy. Watching a video of two people have sex: Exciting. Hearing two people fucking in the next room: Hot. Being in bed with two people who are fucking: Really hot. Having your face in a woman's crotch while another guy is pounding her: Insanely hot. Being able to lick up the orgasmic fluids from both of them after he comes inside her: Off the charts amazing.

 

[write_or_wrong]

I took DrHappy’s advice above but used different language. My wife and I have had several conversations lately related to sex and I’ll abbreviate to the key points that might offer you some help in getting what you want. You’ll have to figure out how to express these ideas in a constructive way relative to the dynamics of your relationship.

(1) - we’re in a monogamous relationship and it’s effectively by choice. I have a lot of hobbies and she doesn’t have participate in any of them because I can get someone else to join me in those activities. However, when it comes to sex, I only have one partner to call on and it’s her. In my case, my wife is jealous even if I masturbate - I still do it anyway because fuck that. But anyway, I explained to her that I have no other outlet as long as we’re in our relationship (which is over 20 years long now) and that I really need her to be willing to meet me halfway on things if I’m to be happy (or at least satisfied) with our sex life. Alternatively, she can live knowing that I’m not satisfied if she doesn’t want to work on it. Which in our case, wouldn’t sit well with her because I put an absurd and disproportionate amount of work and effort into making our relationship work and she knows it.

On my side of it, I’m not about to put unrealistic expectations on her. I know her, love her, and respect her more than anything. I know some of the things I want are beyond her capabilities and I’m not about to pressure her into those things. For example, she has sensory issues and refuses to let me cum in her mouth (ironic right?). And so, I haven't put pressure on her to do that, though I’ve expressed that I’d like it. I’ve just chosen to live with shitty blowjobs all this time. But I also feel that, because I would put the effort into overcoming an issue like that for my partner, she should want to put that effort in, too. And I told her that. It’s really not acceptable to dig your heels in and say “no” when you’ve deliberately eliminated your partners access to alternatives. We’re just talking playful and safe sex here, not anything dangerous. Swallowing cum is no worse that eating a hot pepper on a dare. You might choke and gag for a minute, have some tears or whatever… but it’ll be fine. You can get through it if you love someone.

More on this point, if the situation were the other way around and she wanted something that I completely refused to do, I would be willing to let her get that need filled outside the marriage. But I’ll say it right now, I would learn to do backflips and fly spaceships before I would let that happen. I would exhaust every effort. If we’re equal in marriage, I (perhaps unrealistically) expect the same from her. Or grant me the flexibility to get it somewhere else (which I don’t want to do at all).

To be clear, with the blowjob example above…. it would just be nice if once in a rare while she would dig deep and tell me, “I just want to do this for you. I want you to finish in my mouth.” I obviously don’t want her being uncomfortable with anything related to sex. I wouldn’t want her choking on hot peppers all the time. But sometimes, we should put the extra effort into support the things that make our partners happy, even if it’s at our expense. In the grand scheme of things, this really isn’t that hard to do.

(2) - Specifically related to eating the cum out of her: I told her that I couldn’t explain it. I told her I didn’t understand it and that she didn’t need to understand it either. She just needed to understand how I feel. I told her that it is intensely erotic for me and that I really want it.

When she’s on top (cowgirl) and I finish in her, she’ll pull off of me and sort of squat over my stomach, carefully part her lips for me, and push out our juices onto my abs. It’s really hot to watch her do that. I specifically explained that I would like her to straddle my face and do that same thing; maybe telling me to “take it, eat it, suck it out of me” or something to that effect. She said she couldn’t do that to me because of how gross she thinks cum is. She said, “I don’t want that in my mouth, why would you?”

I bridged that conversation and gently brought up point (1) above explaining how I’d like to try to soften that barrier and bring cumplay into our sex more. I told her, that maybe if we start here, it would help ease her aversion to it. It may not, and that’s okay, too, but I’d still like to try. So, I offered to meet her halfway and that’s how we agreed on doing 69. She felt more comfortable with that because she couldn’t see it happening.

Ironically, when we debriefed and talked about it afterwards, I asked her if she’d be willing to try squatting over my face next time, and she said, “Yes, I’d like to do that.” We were out of the bedroom when we had the debrief, sitting at the kitchen table. I literally told her I’d like to have a debrief and talk about it, and she agreed. I asked her what she liked. She said being in control and some other stuff. I asked her what she didn’t like. She said there wasn’t anything. I asked her if she’d be open to doing it again, and she was surprisingly agreeable. I asked her if she felt more comfortable about cumplay and feeding it back to me. She said she did and had a surprised expression on her face; seemed like a moment of realization. When we were in bed a few minutes later getting ready to go to sleep, I asked her about the squatting bit (because this was all I could think about the rest of the evening) and that’s when she said, “Yes, I’d like to do that.” She softly laughed a little before we dozed off.

(3) - Advice for having the conversation: Don’t do it when it’s time for sex. Tell your partner that you would like to have a conversation about sex and do it somewhere neutral and comfortable. Maybe over drinks or something. But make sure they know that sex is the focus of the conversation. It doesn’t have to be a sexy conversation. We literally had the conversation last night over a glass of bourbon. It ended up leading to sex, but that wasn’t the intention.

I had sent her a calendar invite (this is how we manage our schedules) to have a date night. She accepted and asked me what I wanted to do, and I told her I just wanted her undivided attention to have a conversation with her. She asked what I wanted to talk about and I told her I wanted to talk about the email I had sent her.

Tangent / about the email: I week ago, I sent her an email explaining my feelings (this was a follow up to a poorly executed prior conversation), what I wanted to do, and how I wanted to do it. In soft detail. She says she can never remember when I say things to her so I thought I’d try writing it out. I figured it would help me develop somewhat complete thoughts around an issue I really didn’t understand myself. She didn’t bother to read it which led to a quasi fight. I was hurt that she couldn’t be bother to even try to read the email, never mind try to understand my feelings. She was angry that I was hurt. I’m convinced she has personality disorders, but that’s besides the point here. Irrespective, this incident lead to a light conversation around point (1) above. Through this conversation she said that she was overwhelmed with how long the email was (shorter than this post) and blah blah blah…. but she said that it would be helpful if we went through the email together. Okay, Honey, I’ll play…. some other time. That’s when I decided to queue a calendar invite.

Back to what I was saying, we started our conversation by sitting down and reading the email together. Which, by the way, was A LOT easier for me than trying to look her in the eyes and explain how I wanted her to dump cum down my throat. We went through it line by line and we talked through things and I answered questions… which circles back to point (2) above. The conversation wrapped up with her taking charge and leading me to the bedroom. It turned out awesome.

I am so impressed at how effectively the two of you communicate about something as delicate as this subject. You are lucky to have found each other. And you could establish a side hustle as a therapist.

 

[Mike130]

I took DrHappy’s advice above but used different language. My wife and I have had several conversations lately related to sex and I’ll abbreviate to the key points that might offer you some help in getting what you want. You’ll have to figure out how to express these ideas in a constructive way relative to the dynamics of your relationship.

(1) - we’re in a monogamous relationship and it’s effectively by choice. I have a lot of hobbies and she doesn’t have participate in any of them because I can get someone else to join me in those activities. However, when it comes to sex, I only have one partner to call on and it’s her. In my case, my wife is jealous even if I masturbate - I still do it anyway because fuck that. But anyway, I explained to her that I have no other outlet as long as we’re in our relationship (which is over 20 years long now) and that I really need her to be willing to meet me halfway on things if I’m to be happy (or at least satisfied) with our sex life. Alternatively, she can live knowing that I’m not satisfied if she doesn’t want to work on it. Which in our case, wouldn’t sit well with her because I put an absurd and disproportionate amount of work and effort into making our relationship work and she knows it.

On my side of it, I’m not about to put unrealistic expectations on her. I know her, love her, and respect her more than anything. I know some of the things I want are beyond her capabilities and I’m not about to pressure her into those things. For example, she has sensory issues and refuses to let me cum in her mouth (ironic right?). And so, I haven't put pressure on her to do that, though I’ve expressed that I’d like it. I’ve just chosen to live with shitty blowjobs all this time. But I also feel that, because I would put the effort into overcoming an issue like that for my partner, she should want to put that effort in, too. And I told her that. It’s really not acceptable to dig your heels in and say “no” when you’ve deliberately eliminated your partners access to alternatives. We’re just talking playful and safe sex here, not anything dangerous. Swallowing cum is no worse that eating a hot pepper on a dare. You might choke and gag for a minute, have some tears or whatever… but it’ll be fine. You can get through it if you love someone.

More on this point, if the situation were the other way around and she wanted something that I completely refused to do, I would be willing to let her get that need filled outside the marriage. But I’ll say it right now, I would learn to do backflips and fly spaceships before I would let that happen. I would exhaust every effort. If we’re equal in marriage, I (perhaps unrealistically) expect the same from her. Or grant me the flexibility to get it somewhere else (which I don’t want to do at all).

To be clear, with the blowjob example above…. it would just be nice if once in a rare while she would dig deep and tell me, “I just want to do this for you. I want you to finish in my mouth.” I obviously don’t want her being uncomfortable with anything related to sex. I wouldn’t want her choking on hot peppers all the time. But sometimes, we should put the extra effort into support the things that make our partners happy, even if it’s at our expense. In the grand scheme of things, this really isn’t that hard to do.

(2) - Specifically related to eating the cum out of her: I told her that I couldn’t explain it. I told her I didn’t understand it and that she didn’t need to understand it either. She just needed to understand how I feel. I told her that it is intensely erotic for me and that I really want it.

When she’s on top (cowgirl) and I finish in her, she’ll pull off of me and sort of squat over my stomach, carefully part her lips for me, and push out our juices onto my abs. It’s really hot to watch her do that. I specifically explained that I would like her to straddle my face and do that same thing; maybe telling me to “take it, eat it, suck it out of me” or something to that effect. She said she couldn’t do that to me because of how gross she thinks cum is. She said, “I don’t want that in my mouth, why would you?”

I bridged that conversation and gently brought up point (1) above explaining how I’d like to try to soften that barrier and bring cumplay into our sex more. I told her, that maybe if we start here, it would help ease her aversion to it. It may not, and that’s okay, too, but I’d still like to try. So, I offered to meet her halfway and that’s how we agreed on doing 69. She felt more comfortable with that because she couldn’t see it happening.

Ironically, when we debriefed and talked about it afterwards, I asked her if she’d be willing to try squatting over my face next time, and she said, “Yes, I’d like to do that.” We were out of the bedroom when we had the debrief, sitting at the kitchen table. I literally told her I’d like to have a debrief and talk about it, and she agreed. I asked her what she liked. She said being in control and some other stuff. I asked her what she didn’t like. She said there wasn’t anything. I asked her if she’d be open to doing it again, and she was surprisingly agreeable. I asked her if she felt more comfortable about cumplay and feeding it back to me. She said she did and had a surprised expression on her face; seemed like a moment of realization. When we were in bed a few minutes later getting ready to go to sleep, I asked her about the squatting bit (because this was all I could think about the rest of the evening) and that’s when she said, “Yes, I’d like to do that.” She softly laughed a little before we dozed off.

(3) - Advice for having the conversation: Don’t do it when it’s time for sex. Tell your partner that you would like to have a conversation about sex and do it somewhere neutral and comfortable. Maybe over drinks or something. But make sure they know that sex is the focus of the conversation. It doesn’t have to be a sexy conversation. We literally had the conversation last night over a glass of bourbon. It ended up leading to sex, but that wasn’t the intention.

I had sent her a calendar invite (this is how we manage our schedules) to have a date night. She accepted and asked me what I wanted to do, and I told her I just wanted her undivided attention to have a conversation with her. She asked what I wanted to talk about and I told her I wanted to talk about the email I had sent her.

Tangent / about the email: I week ago, I sent her an email explaining my feelings (this was a follow up to a poorly executed prior conversation), what I wanted to do, and how I wanted to do it. In soft detail. She says she can never remember when I say things to her so I thought I’d try writing it out. I figured it would help me develop somewhat complete thoughts around an issue I really didn’t understand myself. She didn’t bother to read it which led to a quasi fight. I was hurt that she couldn’t be bother to even try to read the email, never mind try to understand my feelings. She was angry that I was hurt. I’m convinced she has personality disorders, but that’s besides the point here. Irrespective, this incident lead to a light conversation around point (1) above. Through this conversation she said that she was overwhelmed with how long the email was (shorter than this post) and blah blah blah…. but she said that it would be helpful if we went through the email together. Okay, Honey, I’ll play…. some other time. That’s when I decided to queue a calendar invite.

Back to what I was saying, we started our conversation by sitting down and reading the email together. Which, by the way, was A LOT easier for me than trying to look her in the eyes and explain how I wanted her to dump cum down my throat. We went through it line by line and we talked through things and I answered questions… which circles back to point (2) above. The conversation wrapped up with her taking charge and leading me to the bedroom. It turned out awesome.

That was an excellent approach and you got great results. It sounds like you’re both more satisfied for the effort.

We are also monogamous. My wife loves giving blowjobs, swallowing cum. We’ve snowballed, I eat my cum out of her pussy all the time. The only thing she won’t do is 69. I think it’s because she wants to concentrate on one thing at a time, be it her orgasm or mine. I see her point, but I also love 69….