Why Do People Submissive People Like To Be Violated?
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ShiningEyes
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Liking to be spanked, disciplined, and degrated to a point could be brought on due to a person's past, emotional problems, or just because they were somewhat made that way. Abuse is a completely different thing. I know my limits, and I know when they are crossed. I hit back if I feel truely threatened. Otherwise, I'm on my knees taking every bit of what I truely want. Me personally, I enjoy it because I enjoy it. Not because someone forced me to do something soooo many years ago. It's just about of who I am. And hun...I know plenty of submissive men that LOVE it just as much as I do. I belong to a group here that has several submissive men that can take just about as much as I can when it comes to being spanked and "beaten". Those that have emotional or mental problems take it because they feel they have to. They let themselves be ABUSED instead of USED.
SE
SE
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Brinnie said:
Having recently discovered my submissive streak I can only say for myself:
having grown up being the one that needed to be in charge from a very young age (8 yr old and travelling with a younger brother on an airplane from my mother's home in FL to my fathers home in NY)... it is a place where for a bit I don't have to worry about where I am or what will happen, because someone I trust to know those answers is taking care of those for me. I have to always have a plan, and in this case the plan is to let the trusted person have the control over those things.
I won't stand for abuse. That will get the one finger salute and a nice view of my ass as I leave. Used? Yeah, but I agreed to that before allowing it. Objectified... I've occasionally felt that at moments I am nothing more than clit, pussy, mouth, niples, but he also has normal conversations with me about everyday things, so it isn't as if that is ALL he thinks of me (if it were I'd be out of there post haste and probably would have never gotten involved with him to begin with).
If you are talking about pornopraphy, I guess that is partly a product of cultural ingraining; women tend to look at working cooperatively with how results affect the surroundings, where men are more immersed in going for a single goal without looking at effects on the surroundings. (my opinion only)
Her sissy slave
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no guys?
i realize you asked for no guys?
or is it you said no guys are prone to it?
either way;
here's my take on it.
years ago, i was in job corps, in my teens, in south dakota.
i was jumped in one of the barracks, by a bunch of guys, stripped and raped.
now i have to tell you, i am not happy re living that, but here it is for you.
no, i did not like it.
but if you talk about a group of girls doing it? it would have been different, yes.
but by males? there was no fun for me , believe me.
so i know about about violation.
i'm done here now.
Brinnie said:
i realize you asked for no guys?
or is it you said no guys are prone to it?
either way;
here's my take on it.
years ago, i was in job corps, in my teens, in south dakota.
i was jumped in one of the barracks, by a bunch of guys, stripped and raped.
now i have to tell you, i am not happy re living that, but here it is for you.
no, i did not like it.
but if you talk about a group of girls doing it? it would have been different, yes.
but by males? there was no fun for me , believe me.
so i know about about violation.
i'm done here now.
onceburned
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AAkasha said:
I agree. At least from the messages I have seen online, a very large percentage of male subs fantasize about being treated as an object - taken advantage of, abused, treated imperiously, not shown love or affection.
Its not for me, but I have seen a lot of guys claim this is what they want.
Her sissy slave
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love?
ok,..not being a smartass..sincerely---but "i" have never......seen or felt..love or affection. i am platonic and do not become involved. this is one area of d/s i am completely unknown to.
good/bad/in between...but it is truth. where do you find any domme that wants to show this to another sub/slave when they all say, "oh i have a man here/i have a slave here/that takes of all that for me"
where are the dommes that show affection? i have not found one. come be my service slave but not part of my life or my house.
thanks
onceburned said:
ok,..not being a smartass..sincerely---but "i" have never......seen or felt..love or affection. i am platonic and do not become involved. this is one area of d/s i am completely unknown to.
good/bad/in between...but it is truth. where do you find any domme that wants to show this to another sub/slave when they all say, "oh i have a man here/i have a slave here/that takes of all that for me"
where are the dommes that show affection? i have not found one. come be my service slave but not part of my life or my house.
thanks
Etoile
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They are definitely out there. Do you promote yourself as a service slave when you are seeking a partner? Perhaps if you are just a potential lover like any other, they might not have the expectation of service-with-nothing-more.Her sissy slave said:
I have noticed that some CD/Trans women feel they are purposefully restricted to service slavery and should not expect anything more, but I've never understood why they feel that way.
Cherrysweetdeal
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Brinnie said:
Certain guys i've met(my ex being one of them) have wanted to be used and objectified. He was submissive in certain sense but not overall.
For me my first experiences sexually were not exactly pleasurable, they were a bit forced and I suppose that may be one reason some girls either take it or learn to enjoy it. As to why it takes force to make me melt is partially because I am a stronger female then some here(one who won't take shit from guys and will push back). A book I had borrowed from the library described an awesome psychological view of little girls dreams and their experiences. Awesome book...must find it again.
cherry
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Brinnie said, //I've never understood this one. Why do so many girls (and no guys) like to be objectified, used and abused? //
Leah said in reply: I'm submissive by nature but there is no abuse involved...ever. My man would never do anything to hurt me, physically or emotionally.
Leah I don't think your reply answers Brinnie. I believe she is speaking of 'abuse' in an objective sense, things most would consider abuse, such as being spat on, peed on, called a worthless whore, embarrassed sexually in front of strangers, being 'forced' to be sexually used by strangers. Most would say that's abuse.
Where Brinnie seems not knowledgeable, as Akasha and other have point out, is in thinking no men want this. If Brinnie does not believe Akasha and me, let her put up an ad saying "Young woman would like to abuse a male, for example--spit and piss on him, beat him in front of her (or his!) friends, make him sit at the door of a party with a sign around his neck 'Blowjobs, 50 cents.'" Let her see the response she gets.
As to your reply Leah, I believe it's likely playing with words, I bet your master does hurt you physically and emotionally, e.g., whip you, tell you you're a whore etc. You happen to want this. (Though of course you probably don't want to end up in a hospital or mental ward.) As others have said, 'abuse' is often twisted to mean 'stuff others like, but I consider degrading and abhorrent.' In that trivial subject sense, no one wants abuse (i.e, the abuse they get will not be so labeled.)
Leah said in reply: I'm submissive by nature but there is no abuse involved...ever. My man would never do anything to hurt me, physically or emotionally.
Leah I don't think your reply answers Brinnie. I believe she is speaking of 'abuse' in an objective sense, things most would consider abuse, such as being spat on, peed on, called a worthless whore, embarrassed sexually in front of strangers, being 'forced' to be sexually used by strangers. Most would say that's abuse.
Where Brinnie seems not knowledgeable, as Akasha and other have point out, is in thinking no men want this. If Brinnie does not believe Akasha and me, let her put up an ad saying "Young woman would like to abuse a male, for example--spit and piss on him, beat him in front of her (or his!) friends, make him sit at the door of a party with a sign around his neck 'Blowjobs, 50 cents.'" Let her see the response she gets.
As to your reply Leah, I believe it's likely playing with words, I bet your master does hurt you physically and emotionally, e.g., whip you, tell you you're a whore etc. You happen to want this. (Though of course you probably don't want to end up in a hospital or mental ward.) As others have said, 'abuse' is often twisted to mean 'stuff others like, but I consider degrading and abhorrent.' In that trivial subject sense, no one wants abuse (i.e, the abuse they get will not be so labeled.)
Her sissy slave
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one more final time
what do you not understand?
it is not sexual--it is not love romance..it is my submission to follow..period.
i use a license of poetry but if it bothers you, i do apologize.
i just put in a tag line, of submission. i am eager to follow, but as yet since 1998 have not found 1 worth following. all mouth and no action. promises unfulfilled.
i am done now.
i hope that helped.
shy slave said:Her SS I can't get my mind around this post, your claim of being platonic and not getting involved with your tag line which states "looking up into Her eyes i am lost forever"
what do you not understand?
it is not sexual--it is not love romance..it is my submission to follow..period.
i use a license of poetry but if it bothers you, i do apologize.
i just put in a tag line, of submission. i am eager to follow, but as yet since 1998 have not found 1 worth following. all mouth and no action. promises unfulfilled.
i am done now.
i hope that helped.
Her sissy slave
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selected
BOTH!
i have my criteria also.
someone able to follow through with promises made,..someone that is not too busy to email and keep up communication...if the She is too busy to send an email..She sure is not going to have time if i am there inperson. all mouth//promises and not results.
"i' was taught growing up, in an adult world, if all you can do is talk,..go away.
i have been expected all my life to provide results with satisfaction..it's a 2 way street. i expect a She to hold up Her end too.
i am fed up being a piece of furniture. if Ya can't talk and explain things in an email,..how am i going to have faith You can do anything in person?
promises promises ....no results.
my elders taught me to stand up and be counted........no excuses.
but its just me here..
i realize i have stricter morals than the average joe or jane.
we either click or we don't...mostly so far i have not found one to hold up Her end.
my soapbox
sorry
AAkasha said:
BOTH!
i have my criteria also.
someone able to follow through with promises made,..someone that is not too busy to email and keep up communication...if the She is too busy to send an email..She sure is not going to have time if i am there inperson. all mouth//promises and not results.
"i' was taught growing up, in an adult world, if all you can do is talk,..go away.
i have been expected all my life to provide results with satisfaction..it's a 2 way street. i expect a She to hold up Her end too.
i am fed up being a piece of furniture. if Ya can't talk and explain things in an email,..how am i going to have faith You can do anything in person?
promises promises ....no results.
my elders taught me to stand up and be counted........no excuses.
but its just me here..
i realize i have stricter morals than the average joe or jane.
we either click or we don't...mostly so far i have not found one to hold up Her end.
my soapbox
sorry
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LeahLo519
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My boyfriend. Maybe I'm wrong, but I always thought that dominance could be a lot of different things. I didn't know it had to be about whips and chains and being degraded and abused...the man being the dominant one in the relationship is just an old fashioned thing to me, and that's how my relationship is. *shrug*Etoile said:
Pure
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Leah said,
[to pure's suggestion that maybe she was 'hurt' as part of being a sub.]
...no really. I meant what I said. He doesn't hurt me...there is no whipping, pissing or anything like that because I wouldn't have it. And he doesn't call me any names.
My boyfriend. Maybe I'm wrong, but I always thought that dominance could be a lot of different things. I didn't know it had to be about whips and chains and being degraded and abused...the man being the dominant one in the relationship is just an old fashioned thing to me, and that's how my relationship is. *shrug*
Several in the BDSM community have noted that a traditional marriage, Christian, Jewish Orthodox, or Muslim has resemblances to a dom/sub relationship, in that the man is kind of a (supposedly benevolent) king who calls the shots, disciplines the wife and kids, etc. Certainly that traditional man [man in traditional role], in the ordinary sense of the term 'dominates' his wife, who, as St. Paul recommended, 'submits' to his authority and discipline. So let's just call this traditional male dominance.
It's all over the world, and has been for thousands of years. See the thread in Authors Hangout about Ms. Mukhtaran in Pakistan. She was sentenced by a male village council, to be gangraped, and was. This is, perhaps the harsher side of 'traditional male dominance.'
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=346928
In our age, in the US, for instance, traditional male-dominant marriage arrangements would be voluntary, as in a Mormon marriage, in certain marriages among the 'born again' Christians who are quite clear that the husband is in charge of directing and disciplining the family, including the wife.
My suggestion is that all these relationships, though exhibiting 'dominance', in the broad sense, fall short of what those in the BDSM community call a D/S relationship (else it's a pretty damn large community including most of the world). I suppose the presence of some 'sexual kink' might be the answer, though the form of it is unspecified (i.e., as Leah says, whips are not necessary).
----
Note: to the point raised by etoile and quint, Leah, there seems to be some reason to think your relationship is *not so one sided as 'traditional male dominance'; perhaps it's some lesser (power for the male) or merely a symbolic form. If your husband/man is 'king' but only insofar as you [Leah] allow it, that represents a modern diluting of 'traditional male dominance' in the direction of equality or even female dominance, while keeping up a traditional 'appearance' of kingship.
Such an arrangement is indicated in the phrase 'the power behind the throne' and countless male comedians' jokes like, "In my marriage, I'm the boss. When I say 'do it', she does it... so long a she feels like it. Yep, my word is law, and she's totally under it, doing what my law says...provided she wants to."
[to pure's suggestion that maybe she was 'hurt' as part of being a sub.]
...no really. I meant what I said. He doesn't hurt me...there is no whipping, pissing or anything like that because I wouldn't have it. And he doesn't call me any names.
My boyfriend. Maybe I'm wrong, but I always thought that dominance could be a lot of different things. I didn't know it had to be about whips and chains and being degraded and abused...the man being the dominant one in the relationship is just an old fashioned thing to me, and that's how my relationship is. *shrug*
Several in the BDSM community have noted that a traditional marriage, Christian, Jewish Orthodox, or Muslim has resemblances to a dom/sub relationship, in that the man is kind of a (supposedly benevolent) king who calls the shots, disciplines the wife and kids, etc. Certainly that traditional man [man in traditional role], in the ordinary sense of the term 'dominates' his wife, who, as St. Paul recommended, 'submits' to his authority and discipline. So let's just call this traditional male dominance.
It's all over the world, and has been for thousands of years. See the thread in Authors Hangout about Ms. Mukhtaran in Pakistan. She was sentenced by a male village council, to be gangraped, and was. This is, perhaps the harsher side of 'traditional male dominance.'
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=346928
In our age, in the US, for instance, traditional male-dominant marriage arrangements would be voluntary, as in a Mormon marriage, in certain marriages among the 'born again' Christians who are quite clear that the husband is in charge of directing and disciplining the family, including the wife.
My suggestion is that all these relationships, though exhibiting 'dominance', in the broad sense, fall short of what those in the BDSM community call a D/S relationship (else it's a pretty damn large community including most of the world). I suppose the presence of some 'sexual kink' might be the answer, though the form of it is unspecified (i.e., as Leah says, whips are not necessary).
----
Note: to the point raised by etoile and quint, Leah, there seems to be some reason to think your relationship is *not so one sided as 'traditional male dominance'; perhaps it's some lesser (power for the male) or merely a symbolic form. If your husband/man is 'king' but only insofar as you [Leah] allow it, that represents a modern diluting of 'traditional male dominance' in the direction of equality or even female dominance, while keeping up a traditional 'appearance' of kingship.
Such an arrangement is indicated in the phrase 'the power behind the throne' and countless male comedians' jokes like, "In my marriage, I'm the boss. When I say 'do it', she does it... so long a she feels like it. Yep, my word is law, and she's totally under it, doing what my law says...provided she wants to."
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Masters_aphrodite
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LeahLo519 said:
i agree Dominance does not have to include the other things. Now granted Master uses me in all ways He chooses and in some ways others may think is abuse, but for U/us it is not. However, it is none of this that makes the power exchange. It is just who W/we are. Master is naturally a very Dominant Man and i am completely surrendered to Him in all ways. If something happened and the physical had to be removed and the S/M and edge play well O/our dynamic would still be the same. Master would still be Master and i would still be His slave.
Betticus
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LeahLo519 said:
That sounds pretty normal. I'm don't know enough to say though. Whipping, with an implement that causes damage would be a limit for me.
I love female skin, it's like a work of art when it is perfectly smooth and soft. I prefer it to be unmarked. It depends on the woman though, each situation is different.
Etoile
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Out of curiosity, Betticus, what do you consider "damage" enough to turn it into a limit? I can understand your reverence for female skin, but it is extremely rare that any marks caused by even some pretty rough play leave anything permanent. I have been whipped many times and if I were to moon you, you'd never know it from my skin. (Even if you inspected closely!)Betticus said:
