Why Do People Submissive People Like To Be Violated?

[Etoile]

Note: to the point raised by etoile and quint, Leah, there seems to be some reason to think your relationship is *not so one sided as 'traditional male dominance'; perhaps it's some lesser (power for the male) or merely a symbolic form. If your husband/man is 'king' but only insofar as you [Leah] allow it, that represents a modern diluting of 'traditional male dominance' in the direction of equality or even female dominance, while keeping up a traditional 'appearance' of kingship.

Thank you, Pure, this is exactly what I was thinking.

 

[Etoile]

My boyfriend. Maybe I'm wrong, but I always thought that dominance could be a lot of different things. I didn't know it had to be about whips and chains and being degraded and abused...the man being the dominant one in the relationship is just an old fashioned thing to me, and that's how my relationship is. *shrug*

While it sounds like you're taking the moral high ground here, I can't help but feel you're preaching to the choir. Nobody here is suggesting BDSM (or more specifically D/s) must be whips and humiliation and abuse. Simply because some of us practice it (in addition to different forms of D/s) doesn't mean we think it is a required part of kink. Again, you have phrased this in a manner that makes me feel like you're stating your way is better than D/s including whips and chains, but perhaps that's my own hangup. I hardly think, though, that anybody who is involved with degradation and similar play actually feels abused, except perhaps in some mindfuck situations. Just as you don't enjoy whips and chains, some of us do enjoy them. They don't have to be a part of your relationship, but that doesn't mean they aren't a valid part of ours.

I wonder, though, do you consider yourself a submissive? Or do you just feel that you are a traditionally subservient woman? There is a difference between the two mindsets - the latter is often felt as "this is the way it ought to be" and the former can be described as "this is who I am." I'm curious, which would you say fits you better?