Why Won't He Give Me Anal?

[icandothis]

. . . She'd lay flat on her stomach usually and I'd lay flat on my back to ease into her, then she'd sort of half prop herself up on knees and elbows and start trembling, shivering, bucking. She'd start working her clit with one hand frantically, and said that made it not hurt, and gave her multiple orgasms.

That was incredibly hot, and it's something I've never seen in any porn video. Ass fucking is common in porn, but these aspects of it may be hard to capture on film. Porn has obligatory sequences, and it's quite real. The similarity between what I've described with this second woman and your fond memories is quite striking.

Come to think of it, I've never these aspects of ass fucking described in a story either.

T,
Thank you - you always seem to have solid, useful and well thought out comments and feedback and I really appreciate it.

My ex's preferred position was me on my stomach with hips raised a little with a pillow and him coming in doggy fashion on top of me from behind. And yes, the clitoral stimulation and eventual orgasm did seem to make it hurt less and help me relax. For me there wasn't a lot of movement, he was a big guy (6' 2", maybe 220, ex college footballer) and I am only 5' 4". In that position, though he would never have done anything to deliberately hurt me, I was pretty much a captive, subject to whatever he might want to do.

Once he was completely inside me he would begin slowly thrusting in and out and I would push back into him for deeper penetration. As it became more comfortable for me I would get up onto my elbows and knees so that I could actively lean into him more and meet his strokes. Sometimes when he got tired, we would spoon on our sides and he would fuck me in that position until we came.

We was an excellent and patient teacher and lover.

 

[jet_nebula]

Anal is hot. Nuff said.

 

[icandothis]

Anal Is Hot

Jet,
That was wild . . . if anal sex is the primary play will her hole eventually revert to it's original size afterwards.

 

[infinity706]

Yeah, it's just like the vagina, your bicep, or any other muscle in your body. Of course, you hear about things like prolapses, but that's not caused by rough sex. That's caused by an infection doing damage to your connective tissues.

 

[A_gentleman_lvr]

Tmmldr,
Thank you for sharing this. What I remember about my first anal experience is that while I was head over heels in love with the guy, I didn't really think I would like being taken in the ass. I'm not all that experienced now, but then I had just graduated college, had my first apartment and I was sexually just beginning to grow and learn, in fact I don't think I even knew that people did it "that way".
The first time was for me memorable and it comes to mind as if it had just happened. The room reeked of spent sex as we lay in the bed recovering from a session of hot lovemaking, me dripping cum onto damp sweaty sheets, him spooning behind me and my ass nestled into his crotch. I began to sigh with pleasure when he started fingering my rosebud. When I felt him taking cum from my wet pussy and rubbing it into my asshole I got scared and tried to get away because I sensed what he was going to try and do. He roughly pulled me back and positioned himself pinning me to the bed. He held me there for a few seconds until I stopped struggling and then whispered into my ear "let me". I had the strangest mixture of feelings, I was scared and apprehensive, but at the same time excited. I knew what he wanted to do to me and I "let him". I was still full of cum from our earlier mating and the excitement and anticipation had made me even wetter. Alan had gotten some lube out of the bedstand and as he caressed my ass he began inserting it into my asshole. He positioned his cock at the opening of my asshole and started to enter me. As I lay there face down on the bed with him slowly pushing himself into me I began to softly cry and moan into the pillow. I asked him to stop even though I knew we were way past that; my lover firmly held my hips quite, stopped moving and told me to try and relax, he then reached around between my legs and began massaging my clit. As he worked my clit he resumed his slow entry into my ass. Unexpectedly he brought me to a fierce clitoral orgasm and at the same time he gave a final thrust and was in all the way. I swear I saw stars, but after a bit he began stroking in and out of my hole and slowly (very slowly) the pain started to change to pleasure. When we had finished and were lying there talking, I asked him if he expected us to do that all the time, and to my relief he said no. He said while he liked anal sex occasionally it wasn't something that he had to do to be satisfied. He said that while the sex was good, it was the feeling he got when he felt me under him, whimpering and moaning, trying to squirm away from him like a trapped rabbit that was unbelievable and made him so hard it hurt. Needless to say it got better over time and didn't hurt so much; though I never came solely from anal penetration he would always manually bring me to orgasm as he fucked me. I loved the closeness, the fullness, and the sensation of my lover cumming deep inside my ass.

Wow I love how you describe your first time having anal sex. (And not just because I have a full on erection right now.) I with my partner was as open minded about anal sex as you. The first time we had anal sex she really liked it. So much that the next morning we made love again and when she got on top of me she asked if I wanted it that way again. I still wish I had said yes.

I had wanted to experience anal sex with her for a long time. I often played gently with her anus with my fingers which she enjoys still. This time whe was on her knees doggy style while I fingered her pussy and anus. I was really into and eventually was using my thumb to stretch her anus open more and lubricating it with saliva and then lubricant. I don't know how long I kept doing that but she was moaning and saying she could tell I was having fun. Of course I wanted to make love to her in the back door and I'm sure she knew that's what I was doing. Once I started thinking about it my erection got harder than ever and I knew I had to put it in. It was good for her because I had really lubricated and relaxed her anus by the time time I inserted my penis. I got worried that I was hurting her because she groaned so loud and uncontrollably so I asked if it hurt and she said no it was good. I've never felt anything as good as that before. It was so tight and honestly the fact that she was facedown and being so loud turned me on even more.

I've wanted to do it again ever since but every time she thinks I'm going to she turns over and scolds me. I really don't know what to think.

 

[icandothis]

Wow I love how you describe your first time having anal sex. (And not just because I have a full on erection right now.) I with my partner was as open minded about anal sex as you. The first time we had anal sex she really liked it. So much that the next morning we made love again and when she got on top of me she asked if I wanted it that way again. I still wish I had said yes.

I've wanted to do it again ever since but every time she thinks I'm going to she turns over and scolds me. I really don't know what to think.

Gentleman,
Thank you for your response to my earlier posting. Open minded? I don't know . . . more likely I just see it as being another way to express feelings and physically enjoy another person.

My first serious relationship was with a man who occasionally enjoyed anal sex and introduced me to it. He is the ex that I've refered to in some of my postings. Since him, I've had a few other men but none that have indicated a desire for anal. Because I eventually learned to enjoy it with my ex, I wanted to have that experience again, but my current lover is resisting making love to me anally.

After reading about your experience I just sat here thinking "geez, he's doing exactly what I want my lover to do to me". To feel him lubricating and massaging my ass like you described . . . To feel him inserting his penis into my ass like you described and to hear him groaning and grunting with pleasure as he buries himself deep in my warm, tight ass is something that I want to share with him, and I know he would love it if he ever gave it a try.

Maybe you guys should trade places!

 

[jet_nebula]

Gentleman,
Thank you for your response to my earlier posting. Open minded? I don't know . . . more likely I just see it as being another way to express feelings and physically enjoy another person.

My first serious relationship was with a man who occasionally enjoyed anal sex and introduced me to it. He is the ex that I've refered to in some of my postings. Since him, I've had a few other men but none that have indicated a desire for anal. Because I eventually learned to enjoy it with my ex, I wanted to have that experience again, but my current lover is resisting making love to me anally.

After reading about your experience I just sat here thinking "geez, he's doing exactly what I want my lover to do to me". To feel him lubricating and massaging my ass like you described . . . To feel him inserting his penis into my ass like you described and to hear him groaning and grunting with pleasure as he buries himself deep in my warm, tight ass is something that I want to share with him, and I know he would love it if he ever gave it a try.

Maybe you guys should trade places!

I've been incredibly fortunate when it comes to adventerous partners. Most have been excited about anal and can't wait to for me to introduce them to it. I want the first time to be memorable for the right reasons, so I go to lengths to ensure that happens. I want her to enjoy it more than me. It's an erotic taboo that I reccomend to one and all.

Let's face it, most women consider the backdoor off-limits. This is all right with me because it's not a deal-breaker. But your man needs to realize how lucky he is. He's got a woman who's dying to have her ass fucked. Hello! Wake up man!. No one can make him do it, but c'mon.

You have plenty of suitable stand-ins should the need arise.

 

[icandothis]

Let's face it, most women consider the backdoor off-limits. This is all right with me because it's not a deal-breaker. But your man needs to realize how lucky he is. He's got a woman who's dying to have her ass fucked. Hello! Wake up man!. No one can make him do it, but c'mon.

You have plenty of suitable stand-ins should the need arise.

Jet,
Well, I guess it's not really a deal-breaker for me either. Is it unfair for me to use the old pearl - "if he really loved me he'd do it?" It's not going to hurt anyone so what's the big freaking deal?

I'm going to give it a little more time and if he's still adamant about it I guess I'll let it go.

Thanks for the pep talk

 

[klippert]

Whats he thinking...

I guess most of us would say; What's wrong with this guy. I might suggest that you try from on top.... you have all the control.... or have him rim you....when you can't stand it...ask him too put his cock in your butt a little, or as him too do your bottom with a vibe.....let him see how much pleasure your getting. especially the rimming.

But (no pun) if your on top, you can make a simple move too the back side. That how I fucked mrsK back-hole for her first time....we had been enjoying ass play for some time....then one cold night in Chicago...she was on top and made the little move and started pushing me into her butt....all I said was, "let me get some Lube".... I ran through her apartment....can't believe I didn't run into anything... back in bed, on my back...lubed up...then she took complete control....

When she had my cock past that 'tight' spot....she felt the zing sinsation...and a long soft moan.... to this day I don't think she thought it would feel that good.... Since then she has had orgasms that make her tear up....NOT pain....pure pleasure. We don't do it all the time...When we do....Hot sun in the city, well the burbs.

Oh, and don't blame religion. geeze, I happen to have dated two very religious girls, one charismatic reform, serious to her faith.....and she fucked,sucked, rimmed, anal....cheerleader at Hope College.

 

[Tmmldr]

....and don't blame religion. geeze, I happen to have dated two very religious girls, one charismatic reform, serious to her faith.....and she fucked,sucked, rimmed, anal....cheerleader at Hope College.

If not for religion, we wouldn't have those Baptist preachers' daughters ....

 

[icandothis]

I guess most of us would say; What's wrong with this guy. I might suggest that you try from on top.... you have all the control.... or have him rim you....when you can't stand it...ask him too put his cock in your butt a little, or as him too do your bottom with a vibe.....let him see how much pleasure your getting. especially the rimming.

But (no pun) if your on top, you can make a simple move too the back side. That how I fucked mrsK back-hole for her first time....we had been enjoying ass play for some time....then one cold night in Chicago...she was on top and made the little move and started pushing me into her butt....all I said was, "let me get some Lube".... I ran through her apartment....can't believe I didn't run into anything... back in bed, on my back...lubed up...then she took complete control....

When she had my cock past that 'tight' spot....she felt the zing sinsation...and a long soft moan.... to this day I don't think she thought it would feel that good.... Since then she has had orgasms that make her tear up....NOT pain....pure pleasure. We don't do it all the time...When we do....Hot sun in the city, well the burbs.

Oh, and don't blame religion. geeze, I happen to have dated two very religious girls, one charismatic reform, serious to her faith.....and she fucked,sucked, rimmed, anal....cheerleader at Hope College.

Klippert,
Thanks for the helpful reply, I had to chuckle at the image of you running through her apartment looking for lube.

 

[dman4887]

keep us updated on your progress. I'm in the same situation only reversed. I'm the male in the equation wanting to pleasure my wife in this way. And yes I am a very patient and gentle person so I would be happy to go at her pace.

 

[icandothis]

keep us updated on your progress. I'm in the same situation only reversed. I'm the male in the equation wanting to pleasure my wife in this way. And yes I am a very patient and gentle person so I would be happy to go at her pace.

Dman,
I certainly will, infact I was planning on posting later today or tomorrow something that will bring things up to date

 

[icandothis]

Optimistic Update

A lot has happened and I've only written about the one night that stands out in my mind. I know that this is long, but there's so much I wanted to tell you, so please bear with me:

It’s been almost 2 weeks since my first post and I wanted to share with you that I am pleased and optimistic about what I see as progress.

One of the most exciting things that I've discovered, is that my SO is a secret “ass player”, I didn’t know that! How did I miss that? I know he loves having his cock sucked but I found out that he loves having his ass seriously kissed, licked, sucked and generally just played with. Maybe getting him to enjoy anal sex with me won’t be as difficult as I thought. My goal going forward is to fan his desire to engage in serious ass play and to have him reciprocate it and eventually give me what I want.

Since he likes ass play I decided not to do it every time we have sex. And when we did it it would only be as part of foreplay, Also, I didn’t want him to cum while I was playing with his ass. I wanted to bring him just to the brink of cumming and then back off, until I was ready for him to cum and then I would encourage him to climax in my pussy or in my mouth.

Last Friday night we had some fantastic sex and a turning point I think. . . after sucking his cock for a while and it had become swollen with a deep red and shiny cock head I slowed down and began lightly licking the shaft until he started losing his hard-on. I got out of bed and went into the kitchen for a glass of wine. When I came back he was lying on his back stroking his cock and looking at me as if I were a crazy woman (I stopped because he had gotten so hard and ready, and I wanted him to calm down so he wouldn’t cum). I wanted to tease him a little more before that happened. I didn’t say anything to him, just offered him a sip of the wine and bent again between his legs kissing him there and taking his balls into my warm wine covered mouth.

While alternating between giving attention to his cock and his balls, I timidly started running my tongue up and down between his butt crack until he started groaning deep in his throat . I turned him over onto his elbows and knees and enthusiastically resumed his tongue bath with long, wet swipes of my tongue. When I pressed the tip of my tongue into his asshole, just as before, he tensed up and tried to move away. I put my arms around his back and with my hard erect nipples pressing against his upraised ass in a soft low voice I told him that I would only do this for a little while and then I would let him put his cock in my mouth and cum if he wanted to.

He stopped moving, but didn’t say anything and so I slipped my hand around and started stroking his now engorged pulsing cock that was already leaking pre cum. I needed to be careful, because I did not want him to cum yet! I stopped stroking him and began lightly nipping his butt cheeks with my teeth and tonguing this asshole. By this time he was so relaxed and just wanting and needing to finish his fuck that he let me stick my tongue into his asshole several times and didn’t tense when I slowly penetrated him with the tip of my little finger (I know that doesn’t sound like a big deal, but for us it is). He was moaning and stroking himself and I knew he couldn’t hold it very much longer. Changing positions, I got on my knees in front of him and presented my sloppy, wet pussy and simply asked him to "kiss it and tongue my ass" . . . and he did! Talk about surprised.

He spread my ass cheeks wide and roughly licked and tongued my ass, letting one hand reach between my thighs so that he could more easily fondle my clit and pussy. Raising me up onto my knees and leaning my upper body against the headboard he got onto his back and scooted up so that his head was between my legs and he started teasing my clit with his tongue and licking the juices from my pussy. This gave me one of those eyes rolling back in your head orgasms. Before I had stopped shaking he had gotten behind me and started fucking me doggy fashion (If you can’t tell from previous postings, I like it doggy). I think that was some of the best sex we had had in a while.

 

[BlueyeGuy51]

Congratulations! You really candothis. Keep it up, or him up, he's definitely shedding inhibitions about the backside. Keep us informed.

 

[Tmmldr]

.....he was lying on his back stroking his cock and looking at me as if I were a crazy woman.....

Although this quest started out and still is based on a desire of yours for a good hard ass fucking, it seems that what is happening is you are learning to take control and direct the whole thing. But don't overdo it. Alternate with letting him be the "strong guy that's going to fuck your brains out".

A lot of women never get out of the "i'm passive, now ravish me" mentality.

I think you are close to being able to do anything with this guy. Anything at all. But the walking off and then returning, the giving of small bits of pleasure, the leaving the guy on the verge....

All I can say is that would make one hell of a video.

 

[icandothis]

Although this quest started out and still is based on a desire of yours for a good hard ass fucking, it seems that what is happening is you are learning to take control and direct the whole thing. But don't overdo it. Alternate with letting him be the "strong guy that's going to fuck your brains out".

A lot of women never get out of the "i'm passive, now ravish me" mentality.

I think you are close to being able to do anything with this guy. Anything at all. But the walking off and then returning, the giving of small bits of pleasure, the leaving the guy on the verge....

All I can say is that would make one hell of a video.

Right or wrong, I think my teasing him with ass play may be the way to go. It really turns him on. . .when I licked him and started poking my tongue into his asshole it almost brought him to orgasm a couple of times. The surprise for me was that he actually played with my ass (a little), I mean more that just a cursory lick or two. He's usually the one in control sexwise and once we get over this rough patch and he's more comfortable I'm sure he wont need any cajoling to have sex with me or to tell me to bend over and spread my cheeks.

He's been away on business for a couple of days, but hopefully will be home tomorrow night and I have some surprises in store for him . . . will keep you posted.

 

[dman4887]

My question for you is have you played with your ass with fingers and toys? It might be a good idea to make sure you are ready to take a cock without major issues. A buttplug is a good way to prep for it. Besides, if my wife was preparing her ass with a butt plug I would be so turned on I might not last more than a couple of strokes! Keep us updated!!

D

 

[icandothis]

My question for you is have you played with your ass with fingers and toys? It might be a good idea to make sure you are ready to take a cock without major issues. A buttplug is a good way to prep for it. Besides, if my wife was preparing her ass with a butt plug I would be so turned on I might not last more than a couple of strokes! Keep us updated!!

D

Dman,
Good morning.

Actually someone had suggested the butt plugs and I bought a set with graduated sizes over the weekend. I have them in my bedside drawer and I'm looking at them right now! I tried the smallest one when I first got them and I couldn't even get it in, I was so tight. I haven't tried again, they just look so daunting.

 

[icandothis]

Although this quest started out and still is based on a desire of yours for a good hard ass fucking, it seems that what is happening is you are learning to take control and direct the whole thing. But don't overdo it. Alternate with letting him be the "strong guy that's going to fuck your brains out".

As always, thanks for the good advice.

 

[klippert]

Klippert,
Thanks for the helpful reply, I had to chuckle at the image of you running through her apartment looking for lube.

Thanks, I know my suggestions are as short as possible.... On any given day in that apartment, you walked into a piece of furniture

If not for religion, we wouldn't have those Baptist preachers' daughters ....

ain't that the truth

 

[Tmmldr]

Dman,
Good morning.

Actually someone had suggested the butt plugs and I bought a set with graduated sizes over the weekend. I have them in my bedside drawer and I'm looking at them right now! I tried the smallest one when I first go them and I couldn't even get it in, I was so tight. I haven't tried again, they just look so daunting.

Not meaning to get off topic, but while you are sort of in training mode, why not learn the techniques of deepthroating?

 

[icandothis]

T,
Tell me more

 

[Tmmldr]

T,
Tell me more

Well you could practice some things, like when brushing teeth use the brush way back in your mouth. That causes the gag reflex, do doing this you can learn to control it. And practice,like with toys. A couple of weeks or months, and you'll have a new fun skill.

Another thing to bait him with...here's a hint of the blow job you can get, now fuck my ass hard!

 

[icandothis]

Dman,
Good morning.

Actually someone had suggested the butt plugs and I bought a set with graduated sizes over the weekend. I have them in my bedside drawer and I'm looking at them right now! I tried the smallest one when I first go them and I couldn't even get it in, I was so tight. I haven't tried again, they just look so daunting.

My Lover has been away on business this week, and during his absence with your help and encouragement I was able to finally insert the plug (one of the smaller ones) in a way that was relatively painless, and have been able to wear the plug comfortably for a few hours each day.

We spent quite a bit of time in bed this afternoon, talking, laughing about our recently discovered liking of phone sex, exploring each others bodies, and reading excerpts from a very informative book on anal pleasure. Eventually he helped me insert the plug and we made love with it deep inside my butthole. The sensations for me, were beyond my expectations. Once the plug was in place I could feel my sphincter muscle close tightly around it. And by the time he spread my legs and began in earnest kissing, licking and sucking my clit I was fully aroused sexually, and I could feel my butt muscles contracting and releasing around the plug each time I moved.

When he finally entered me vaginally, the pressure, fullness, friction and anticipation produced an immediate orgasm. As he stroked slowly into me in the way I like so much, several times he said he could feel the plug against his cock and that as he increased his thrusting the rubbing seemed to intensify his orgasm. Is that likely? We had sex again later in the day, but this time with him coming into me from behind and again as before everything seemed extraordinary.

I'm not sure what brought on his change of heart and new willingness, maybe his being away gave him time to think and reconsider without me being there "nagging" at him, I don't know, but I'm thrilled with the change of attitude. I'll continue to keep you updated on our progress.