Words of wisdom

[Bamagan]

Moo, or moo not. There is no 'try'.

That's no Mooooon. It's a space station.

 

[alohadave]

Star Wars-style title crawl:

A MOO HOPE

It is a period of civil war. Rebel milkships, striking from a hidden barn, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Dairy Consortium.

During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the PLANET MILKER, an armored robotic milk pump with enough power to drain the breastmilk from an entire planet.

Pursued by the Consortium's sinister agents, Princess Lactaea races home aboard her milkship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore balance to the galaxy's milk markets...

And the theme song:

 

[JGittes]

Excellent point. I don't think it would be a problem at all if you filmed the movie in color and moved the setting to the present day. Many members of the modern audience wouldn't even remember Bogart (although that would be a shame).

The Maltese Falcon has already been remade. The missing toe in The Big Lebowski makes almost as much real plot sense as 'dingus' in The Maltese Falcon. Technically, The Big Lebowski is an anti-mashup of The Big Sleep and The Maltese Falcon, where the Coen Brothers remade the noir world of Hammett and Chandler, featuring an always wrong and reluctant PI.

LA Confidential also, kinda-sorta, works as a modern (well, late 90s) remake of The Big Sleep.

All the talk about Bogart brings up an aspect of the OP I don't think was mentioned: The African Queen. I love The Big Sleep, To Have and Have Not, and Casablanca, but I find that both The African Queen and Sabrina lack credible chemistry between the two leads. None. The action story around the romance is what people remember due to John Huston's direction and writing contributions.

Bergman and Bogart didn't get along during the filming of Casablanca, but there is undeniable acting chemistry between them that overcomes the age difference. They were 15 years apart, but he always looked 60. I think it's impossible to deny the electricity of their matching.

Another film with something like the romantic, emotional arc of The African Queen is Heaven Knows Mr. Allison, also directed and adapted by John Huston. Robert Mitchum and Deborah Kerr were not as iconic as Bogart and Hepburn but had much more chemistry, and the action story was great, too.

Merely casting iconic actors together doesn't guarantee the magic chemistry, although sometimes it does. I think Streep and Eastwood click in The Bridges of Madison County, but your mileage may vary. Slightly ironic that Eastwood directed and starred in White Hunter, Black Heart as John Huston.

To Have and Have Not was essentially a remake of Casablanca but had the elevated spark of being a documentary of the falling in love of Bogart and Bacall. The figurative damp panties and tenting of pants are right there on the surface. All you have to do, Steve, is put your lips together and blow. Same thing with The Big Sleep. Hot, sublime sex on the screen between Bogart and three women, one of whom he would soon marry.