X marks the Dominant

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

there are three ways to display your dominance, through physical superiority or strength i.e.) using the physical strength and timing to overwhelm others

That is not Dominance. That is bullying.

, Some display dominance though fear hatred pain and threat to control,

That is not Dominance. That is abuse.

and the last was a dominant displays his dominance is through his superior intelligence, intuition and focused will....

That is not Dominance. That is arrogance.

I'm sorry but in my opinion NONE of those are a show of Dominance.

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

(Hey all you doms)

Doesn't it blow your mind to wonder if you are the way you are because you come from a line of people who's fittest survivor and fastest sperm, and if you are a leader just maybe because you come from Masters before you....that you never thought about it like that..

Whooaa man... deep stuff.

No.

I'm a Dominant. But that is only a PART of me. I am many more things.

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

Also, one HUGE thing you never mentioned in an established and meaningful D/s relationship is love.

Love can strengthen and deepen any relationship including D/s. It can make any person (Dom or sub) go that extra mile to make the other person happy.

 

[castagnus]

This reminds me of stuff I often heard girls say when I was a teen. Experiencing their first rush of sexual excitement, these girls projected quasi-mystical and totally unrealistic attributes onto the ones who generated the thrill.

Not that I minded at the time. I got a whole lot of t&a as a result.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that you've never been in a sustained and successful D/s relationship with an actual human being. There's nothing wrong with that, of course. Everyone starts somewhere.

But there is something wrong in confusing fantasy and real life. What you've written is dehumanizing and insulting to dominants. And for submissives, this myth conjures up expectations that will never be fulfilled.[/QUOTE]

Beautifully stated. This has been my lot in life with few exceptions. I now make it a point to meet new girl friends not at "my best " and what I would look like after having had a late night and not enough sleep and I ask the same of her. Have had some success with this approach.

 

[Betticus]

I can't say that I really agree with anything stated here, not 100%.

 

[unfoundiamond]

Well...

That is not Dominance. That is bullying.



That is not Dominance. That is abuse.



That is not Dominance. That is arrogance.

I'm sorry but in my opinion NONE of those are a show of Dominance.

Sorry to say i got that info from a book, discussing at great length Domination and Dominants...

So take that complaint up with F.R.R. Mallory, Author of Extreme Space, The D/s handbook, from which some material was pulled from the highly acclaimed BDSM newsletter, The Steel Dungeon...

so...

now that it didnt just come from me do you somehow find it more credible?

 

[unfoundiamond]

well, insted of PROVING me wrong just attack me it will be easyer than making a point

This reminds me of stuff I often heard girls say when I was a teen. Experiencing their first rush of sexual excitement, these girls projected quasi-mystical and totally unrealistic attributes onto the ones who generated the thrill.

Not that I minded at the time. I got a whole lot of t&a as a result.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that you've never been in a sustained and successful D/s relationship with an actual human being. There's nothing wrong with that, of course. Everyone starts somewhere.

But there is something wrong in confusing fantasy and real life. What you've written is dehumanizing and insulting to dominants. And for submissives, this myth conjures up expectations that will never be fulfilled.[/QUOTE]

Beautifully stated. This has been my lot in life with few exceptions. I now make it a point to meet new girl friends not at "my best " and what I would look like after having had a late night and not enough sleep and I ask the same of her. Have had some success with this approach.

Well actually Mr Smarty pants,

I don't only have real life expiriences, i have them on both sides of the proverbial whip, so as Maddonna would say...


Im not your bitch dont put your shit on me.


And I am sure you care to as much as I care for you to, but... theres about 600 something examples of the fact I hve no shortage of RL playmates and dominants, as well as submissives hounding me,

so quit with the assuming, ...or do it about your own crap.

 

[Netzach]

Sorry to say i got that info from a book, discussing at great length Domination and Dominants...

So take that complaint up with F.R.R. Mallory, Author of Extreme Space, The D/s handbook, from which some material was pulled from the highly acclaimed BDSM newsletter, The Steel Dungeon...

so...

now that it didnt just come from me do you somehow find it more credible?

There are a ton of people writing tons of stuff claiming to be tons of things they sometimes are and sometimes aren't and even if they are theres' no expertise on this stuff beyond "how to not kill someone when you tie them up, probably not, anyway."


So you're perfectly right if you want to construct YOUR universe this way. Rock on. Don't expect everyone else to relate.

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

There are a ton of people writing tons of stuff claiming to be tons of things they sometimes are and sometimes aren't and even if they are theres' no expertise on this stuff beyond "how to not kill someone when you tie them up, probably not, anyway."


So you're perfectly right if you want to construct YOUR universe this way. Rock on. Don't expect everyone else to relate.

Thank you.

Sorry to say i got that info from a book, discussing at great length Domination and Dominants...

So take that complaint up with F.R.R. Mallory, Author of Extreme Space, The D/s handbook, from which some material was pulled from the highly acclaimed BDSM newsletter, The Steel Dungeon...

so...

now that it didnt just come from me do you somehow find it more credible?

No. I don't care if it came from someone with no experience in the lifestyle or someone who had 20 years experience. In my opinion it's completely wrong.

To me, making my slave feel she isn't as smart as me, throwing her around, or threatening to beat her up is no way of showing my Dominance. It's just being an asshole.

I believe this lifestyle is based mostly on feelings and emotions, not facts. As Netzach said, the only thing experience gets you in this lifestyle is a better understanding of how to hurt someone without causing permanent damage, you hope.

 

[JMohegan]

theres about 600 something examples of the fact I hve no shortage of RL playmates and dominants, as well as submissives hounding me

We have very different views on what it means to be in a "sustained and successful D/s relationship." Clearly.

 

[intothewoods]

Well actually Mr Smarty pants,

I don't only have real life expiriences, i have them on both sides of the proverbial whip, so as Maddonna would say...


Im not your bitch dont put your shit on me.

And I am sure you care to as much as I care for you to, but... theres about 600 something examples of the fact I hve no shortage of RL playmates and dominants, as well as submissives hounding me,

so quit with the assuming, ...or do it about your own crap.

Madonna says that? Huh.

 

[YourCaptor]

The energy is a way of describing the almost electrical charge between a dominant and a submissive who really have that deep, (I think everyone meets one, at least one) unspoken but almost supernatural attraction between them self and another a D or s...
that feeling, "energy" whatever... you wanna call it is the description of the feeling to me, and not the description of the dominant.

To see if the statement holds true I applied it to the only really compelling man I have ever met.I thought of S (Now before you guys get out your revolvers hear me out.... )

He's not a big guy, not tall, not really muscley.... though he's toned, he's pale, and bald... completely-no eyelashes,eyebrows, or arm and leg hair, he has that genetic no hair and no pignent thing, but otherwise he's a normal white male... from the same town as me, known me a long long time and he's in a relationship, he has been honest with me about... and they have a open relationship...

I don't wanna serve him because he's so perfect, its how he makes me feel, I am talking he can command me without speaking... DEEP F*ing electrict current flowing out of his eyes and into my soul. Id serve him if I had to do so alongside his current female and I don't do that kind of shit, I mean Id take a bullet for him, (he wouldn't let me but, to make a point)

He compels me to serve him.

Ask yourself about your favorite dominant, (all you "im too domly to have a favDom", just sit tight) Tell me ifs NOT how perfect, dreamy and well built they are, Its how they make you FEEL,
I dk if they are hot too, that's again BESIDE the point as no ones perfect, not matter how hot you are

That electricity, which is the best description of the feeling a human feels when someone COMPELS you with no hesitation to do whatever it takes.

That's the characteristic of a Dominant, anything else is just a imitation.

You can be domeneering you can be controlling...agressive, authoritative.... or you can be a dominant... there's a diffrence

But a dominant is the kind of man who is self confident enough to have the control, and discipline it takes to have someones LIFE in your hands.

This is the Dom that makes the energy come... those are the people(MorF) who give something to the submissive, that feeling of satasfaction, pride... joy in serving and being recongnized, as the D is getting served by the s, its a mutually beneficial relationship,

The ones who hurt, abuse, lie, manipulate, those aren't always(yeah some "dark masters" govern with this hurtful approach, but it seems more often) those are people with character flaws and personality defects and insecurity problems who need something to hide behind, someone to manipulate/control/dote on/keep to make himself feel powerful... he isn't giving shit, he's taking... not a fair deal...its a great deal for him, one sided (shiesty, again not noble)...

I mean yeah, people make bad choices, and have to learn but,
At some point it begins to bleed through these abusers and "MrBigTalk"s aren't the real thing... its a feeling/doubt the sub gets,

(subs-havent you ever been following someones lead to have them falter and make you doubt they could "top" you, that second you realize, in sad shock "his weakness is showing" and he may not be able to domiante me)
This is I think how the body recognizes a person you don't want to serve... His being inferior is part of why he doesn't envoke your need to please. So your mind sabotages it.

This is to me a indicator a true "standing atop the pile of mangled bodies" Dominant isn't just smart and strong and quicky cunning but he is evolved over time and genetically bread....

(Hey all you doms)

Doesn't it blow your mind to wonder if you are the way you are because you come from a line of people who's fittest survivor and fastest sperm, and if you are a leader just maybe because you come from Masters before you....that you never thought about it like that..

Whooaa man... deep stuff.

Ok, so for now I’m gonna look past the supremist comments, but do me a favor, don’t go down that rout again. If you want to piss me off just say one group is inherently better then another, its not gonna fly.

I think we have conflicting ideas about “energy”. What I’m looking at is not something you feel, it’s not an attraction, it’s more just the interaction.

I’m scratching my head here, all this electricity stuff you talk about. Maybe we are just looking at it from opposite sides of the spectrum. What was your point of view when writing it?

I agree with what you say a dominant should be though, primarily confident enough so they don’t falter and trip up everyone.

One thing you should understand though. Dominants has nothing to do with superiority or inferiority as pertaining to value. There is no pyramid with one person at the top, everyone is on even ground.

 

[unfoundiamond]

Wwwhhooooaaaaa

Ok, so for now I’m gonna look past the supremist comments, but do me a favor, don’t go down that rout again. If you want to piss me off just say one group is inherently better then another, its not gonna fly.

I think we have conflicting ideas about “energy”. What I’m looking at is not something you feel, it’s not an attraction, it’s more just the interaction.

I’m scratching my head here, all this electricity stuff you talk about. Maybe we are just looking at it from opposite sides of the spectrum. What was your point of view when writing it?

I agree with what you say a dominant should be though, primarily confident enough so they don’t falter and trip up everyone.

One thing you should understand though. Dominants has nothing to do with superiority or inferiority as pertaining to value. There is no pyramid with one person at the top, everyone is on even ground.

WhhaaaaaatttTheeeeFuuu....

I am not saying one is better than the other that's just among other things not the point, focus or direction of this WWWHHHOOOLLLLLLEEEEEE thread.

way to project guys...

Since everyone's just gonna make shit up I didn't say, I have no need to show up...

you can virtually (No incredibly fitting pun intended) argue with yourself....

Reading comprehension is a refined skill and hard to come by, I am painfully aware.

AAAAANNNDDDDD! Let me not forget

Where I am on this spectrum has nothing to do with YOU, OR the thread... point, conclusion, need I continue?

This is an attempt at obfuscation, now go look that up.

 

[unfoundiamond]

If we wanna be all (big quote fingers) technical (endQuote) and shit....

We have very different views on what it means to be in a "sustained and successful D/s relationship." Clearly.

And we also have different views on the topic of this thread.

Laura Brames' site reported the typical S&m relationship lasts three years.
Why? Because the people involved have issues intensely prohibiting them from preventing burnout....

So,

Why dont you find some other way to make me seem the problem, as this uninventive, "No you're stupid" isn't going to do it...

 

[unfoundiamond]

and no I am not wrong about this one either....

Madonna says that? Huh.

NO, again with the not reading what I actually wrote, I said as she would say, because she DID its actually a lyric from Human Nature, a track off Immaculate conception...

any other bullshit not pertinent to be discussed as Id like this to stop being about me, and be about the THREAD...

I know staying on topic using your own independent thought as opposed to nit picking to have something to post about is hard, but it would be greatly appreciated

 

[unfoundiamond]

I strive for clarity while you strive to bother me,

Those who know that they are profound strive for clarity. Those who would like to seem profound to the crowd strive for obscurity. For the crowd believes that if it cannot see to the bottom of something it must be profound. It is so timid and dislikes going into the water.
—Nietzsche

 

[Homburg]

Laura Brames' site reported the typical S&m relationship lasts three years.
Why? Because the people involved have issues intensely prohibiting them from preventing burnout....

Or just because that is about the average for relationships across the board, if not a bit higher than the average.

 

[YourCaptor]

Those who know that they are profound strive for clarity. Those who would like to seem profound to the crowd strive for obscurity. For the crowd believes that if it cannot see to the bottom of something it must be profound. It is so timid and dislikes going into the water.
—Nietzsche

obfuscation, obscurity

Those who would like to be profound.

You know for that to work you got to have at least comprehensible sentence structure.

Right now everyone just thinks you're high.

 

[Betticus]

Damn did we ever get off track in here.

Be less sensitive everyone.

There is no right or wrong answer with any of this. I think it is closer to think of it as an every shifting, changing, evolving dynamic that cannot be predicted as to who is/isn't dominant/submissive at any one point in time through our universe.

As we interact with each other, we unintentionally change each other as we learn, grow and develop all the way until we die. Just as I am not the person that I was at age 10 neither am I who I will be in another 28 years.

Dominance can't be pinned down to a rigid set of personal traits or behaviors. Confidence can be broken, anger can melt away through time and experience. A gentle old man you see on the street, memory shot, thin white hair, stooped and trembling who just wants to feed the pigeons and take solace in his surroundings...who would never hurt a fly could easily be someone who in his youth was a brash, confident, strong war hero who survived and thrived through the very harshest of conditions.

Instead of offending each other perhaps we should all get behind a truth that we all agree on. That truth being that kiten69 is naughty and needs a sound spanking.

 

[Netzach]

yadda yadda yadda —Nietzsche

I'm so surprised.

 

[unfoundiamond]

heyheyhey

the quote was fitting... not a reference to you, Mon friar.

it has nothing to do with you... I love when I have a reason to kiss your ass, as it doesnt happen often, but this is a coincidence... a friend pointed out how fitting the quote was for the thread...
...but way to make it about you...lol
its unfair to name yourself after someone so influential, and then try to make it about you when I quote the actual author of the quote...

He is one of the most famous philosophers of all time,

 

[intothewoods]

This thread makes me feel drunk, and not in a good way.

 

[unfoundiamond]

oddly

This thread makes me feel drunk, and not in a good way.

You seem it.

 

[JMohegan]

This thread makes me feel drunk, and not in a good way.

Oh, fuck.

I'm having that fantasy again.

 

[JMohegan]

A gentle old man you see on the street, memory shot, thin white hair, stooped and trembling who just wants to feed the pigeons and take solace in his surroundings...who would never hurt a fly could easily be someone who in his youth was a brash, confident, strong war hero who survived and thrived through the very harshest of conditions.

Let's keep presidential politics out of this, shall we?