you cannot hear Me

[Desdemona]

Honesty and trust, facing our own flaws and pain, learning from past mistakes while retaining the courage to move forward; these are difficult and challenging concepts. I believe that we all have our inner demons which color our reactions and behaviors within relationships. Finding the strength to fight these demons as we continue our individual journeys is not for the faint of heart.

Shadows, your description of the duality in the submissive is very perceptive and moving. I wonder sometimes, if there is not also a duality within the Dominant as well. In some, I sense strength and harsh discipline as well as a gentle and kind core. I sense courage as well as fear. I sense the ability to be in complete control coupled with the desire to be nurtured and loved. I see an ability to be playful and have fun as well as the drive to accomplish and get the job done. We humans are complex creatures. It makes learning to walk together on our journeys very interesting indeed.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I wonder sometimes, if there is not also a duality within the Dominant as well. In some, I sense strength and harsh discipline as well as a gentle and kind core. I sense courage as well as fear. I sense the ability to be in complete control coupled with the desire to be nurtured and loved. I see an ability to be playful and have fun as well as the drive to accomplish and get the job done. We humans are complex creatures. It makes learning to walk together on our journeys very interesting indeed.

I can only speak for myself, but we all have personalities that have many dualities and nuances.

I have a personality core that cannot be changed.

I raise and nurture children, I love and have suffered grief. But within this framework is the need to dominate coupled (I hope) with the acquisition of skills necessary to be good at it.

Eb

 

[Desdemona]

I can only speak for myself, but we all have personalities that have many dualities and nuances.

I have a personality core that cannot be changed.

I raise and nurture children, I love and have suffered grief. But within this framework is the need to dominate coupled (I hope) with the acquisition of skills necessary to be good at it.

Eb

Eb, I strongly suspect you are very good at it.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Re: Shadows

I have had much respect for every thread topic you have ever introduced in this Forum. They are all based on REALITIES, which may be falsely construed as FANTASIES by the inexperienced or ill informed.

By far, this topic is the most interesting to me. The few sentences, you have chosen so far to cause one to open doors and peer inside, is a credit to your skills in articulation.

You continue to amaze me, with your insight into the various aspects of Domination and submission.
If one cannot learn from you, then they are not opening the doors of which you have freely given the keys.

It *IS* about "Truth and Honesty" to oneself. All the answers are within each of our own truths. It is OUR responsibility to seek them out. Often, that is what scares us, (the truth).

We tend to deny it, because it is painful or we do not understand it, (the unknown). Fear CAN keep us from seeking the truth, but trust can give us the strength to overcome it.

Trust, is what is MOST difficult for each of us to deal with. Thank you again for a marvelous TOPIC.
I will be reading this thread avidly, and as always, learning greatly from your wisdom.

I hope that You will continue to join in the conversation as it definately is essential to get many points of view.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Honesty and trust, facing our own flaws and pain, learning from past mistakes while retaining the courage to move forward; these are difficult and challenging concepts. I believe that we all have our inner demons which color our reactions and behaviors within relationships. Finding the strength to fight these demons as we continue our individual journeys is not for the faint of heart.

Shadows, your description of the duality in the submissive is very perceptive and moving. I wonder sometimes, if there is not also a duality within the Dominant as well. In some, I sense strength and harsh discipline as well as a gentle and kind core. I sense courage as well as fear. I sense the ability to be in complete control coupled with the desire to be nurtured and loved. I see an ability to be playful and have fun as well as the drive to accomplish and get the job done. We humans are complex creatures. It makes learning to walk together on our journeys very interesting indeed.

Duality is a part of human nature but I must say fear is something this Domme feels in the presense of spiders and snakes but never in the presence of truth, honesty and reality in the BDSM lifestyle. I always say I am simple in My complexity and complex in My simplicity...about as dual and beyond as one can get!

 

[Desdemona]

Duality is a part of human nature but I must say fear is something this Domme feels in the presense of spiders and snakes but never in the presence of truth, honesty and reality in the BDSM lifestyle. I always say I am simple in My complexity and complex in My simplicity...about as dual and beyond as one can get!

I didn't mean fear in quite that way. I think I meant it more in terms of caution and wariness not in terms of being a coward. I need to think about a better word for it. There was no disrespect intended.

 

[Shadowsdream]

I didn't mean fear in quite that way. I think I meant it more in terms of caution and wariness not in terms of being a coward. I need to think about a better word for it. There was no disrespect intended.

and no disrespect was taken.

All 3 words are valid...and I do succumb to 2 of them...caution and wariness...which is why I never accept a sub to be Mine before I have done a 4 month real time training into My ways.

It gives both the submissive and Myself a grace period to recognize that the magic may have been more in the moment than long term. A long enough window to learn trust and truth.

 

[Shadowsdream]

I have now given you the insight that I see with My heart which leads Me to what I do NOT see. I do not see your ability to hear Me. To gauge the meaning of My Domination. To understand the seriousness that I am known for. To obey without question simply because it pleases Me that you do. To mean what you say from the moment you say it until you have accomplished the act you have said you wish to. To be able to focus unless you feel you are in trouble. To recognize want over need.


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Does it make sense that My vision would have shown Me this reality?

 

[A Desert Rose]

Well, back to serious mode...

to mean what you say....difficulty focusing....want over need.

All of the above are struggles for me.

mmmm this is a toughie, Ma'am. I will do the dishes and ponder all this. Be back in a bit.

Rose

 

[Ebonyfire]

To mean what you say from the moment you say it until you have accomplished the act you have said you wish to. To be able to focus unless you feel you are in trouble. To recognize want over need

These statements mean so much to Me.

To mean what you say from the moment you say it until you have accomplished the act you have said you wish to

Consistency in word and deed. It is ot the words a sub says to me. I look at the actions behind or accompanying the words. Talk is cheap, actions speak louder.

To be able to focus unless you feel you are in trouble.

Commitment to the task at hand. Followthrough. And the ability to communicate distress.

To recognize want over need

Wants are wishes and wishes are vapor and air born of fantasy.
A need has substance and depth. It strives to be satisfied. it looks for action.

Just my thoughts...

Eb

 

[Shadowsdream]

Re: Well, back to serious mode...

to mean what you say....difficulty focusing....want over need.

All of the above are struggles for me.

mmmm this is a toughie, Ma'am. I will do the dishes and ponder all this. Be back in a bit.

Rose

good girl..it pleases Me that you take the conversations seriously when the topics could be of value in learning..and also that you capture many moments for lighthearted banter.

 

[Shadowsdream]

These statements mean so much to Me.

To mean what you say from the moment you say it until you have accomplished the act you have said you wish to

Consistency in word and deed. It is ot the words a sub says to me. I look at the actions behind or accompanying the words. Talk is cheap, actions speak louder.

To be able to focus unless you feel you are in trouble.

Commitment to the task at hand. Followthrough. And the ability to communicate distress.

To recognize want over need

Wants are wishes and wishes are vapor and air born of fantasy.
A need has substance and depth. It strives to be satisfied. it looks for action.

Just my thoughts...

Eb

Your thoughts add Power to Mine Eb..finishing where I leave off..always showing that there are many ways but that there is a great deal of overlap in reality.

Anyone can talk the talk but not all are committed to walking the walk.

 

[Desdemona]

I have now given you the insight that I see with My heart which leads Me to what I do NOT see. I do not see your ability to hear Me. To gauge the meaning of My Domination. To understand the seriousness that I am known for. To obey without question simply because it pleases Me that you do. To mean what you say from the moment you say it until you have accomplished the act you have said you wish to. To be able to focus unless you feel you are in trouble. To recognize want over need.


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Does it make sense that My vision would have shown Me this reality?

I know I'm only seeing the tip of the iceberg here but it seems that this is about trust. You as the dominant must be able to trust your sub to:
1. take the relationship and her submission seriously.
2. respect you and value the gift of your domination.
3. take responsibility for her actions whether she is being watched or not.
4. to consistently submit when it is hard, not convienient, or she doesn't get her way as well as when it is easy, convienient and she gets rewards.
5. to listen with her heart as well as her mind.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I know I'm only seeing the tip of the iceberg here but it seems that this is about trust. You as the dominant must be able to trust your sub to:
1. take the relationship and her submission seriously.
2. respect you and value the gift of your domination.
3. take responsibility for her actions whether she is being watched or not.
4. to consistently submit when it is hard, not convienient, or she doesn't get her way as well as when it is easy, convienient and she gets rewards.
5. to listen with her heart as well as her mind.

I works for hims too!

Eb

 

[Desdemona]

I works for hims too!

Eb

LOL. So it does. I was thinking only from my perspective.

 

[Ebonyfire]

LOL. So it does. I was thinking only from my perspective.

I knew that, but I agreed with ya so I chimed right on in!

Eb<we've got to stop meeting like this!>

 

[Desdemona]

I knew that, but I agreed with ya so I chimed right on in!

Eb<we've got to stop meeting like this!>

I know. People will talk. Think of our reputations!

 

[Ebonyfire]

I know. People will talk. Think of our reputations!

We got reputations?

Eb

 

[Desdemona]

We got reputations?

Eb

We don't need no stinkin reputation.

 

[Shadowsdream]

I know I'm only seeing the tip of the iceberg here but it seems that this is about trust. You as the dominant must be able to trust your sub to:
1. take the relationship and her submission seriously.
2. respect you and value the gift of your domination.
3. take responsibility for her actions whether she is being watched or not.
4. to consistently submit when it is hard, not convienient, or she doesn't get her way as well as when it is easy, convienient and she gets rewards.
5. to listen with her heart as well as her mind.

you have learned the lesson well and looked deep within to find the answers that speak a valid truth.

It comes to pride and self respect, and trust, truth and honesty...full circle as all lessons worth learning will validate.

D/s is complex and inter woven fragments of BDSM cement or chip away at the foundation of the moment and the future.

One thing that never changes...even in slavery...the final choice to kneel in submission comes through the one with the knees.

Another thing that never changes for Me...I am the one that will make the final decision who is worthy of My Domination.

 

[A Desert Rose]

One thing that never changes...even in slavery...the final choice to kneel in submission comes through the one with the knees.

As usual, You bring it down to one apparently simple thing. And as usual, it's always more complex than it appears, Ma'am.

Being on one's knees seems so simple. Offering oneself up seems so natural. Making a choice to expose one's soft center to another can be liberating.

But what if one is denied and refused? What then?

Rose

 

[Shadowsdream]

As usual, You bring it down to one apparently simple thing. And as usual, it's always more complex than it appears, Ma'am.

Being on one's knees seems so simple. Offering oneself up seems so natural. Making a choice to expose one's soft center to another can be liberating.

But what if one is denied and refused? What then?

Rose

If one is denied or refused that one should look behind them to the original conversation and work forward to the present.

I will return to this conversation after the slave has bathed Me...and good morning to you rose.

 

[A Desert Rose]

If one is denied or refused that one should look behind them to the original conversation and work forward to the present.

I don't understand, Shadows.

Rose

 

[WillowPuss]

If one is denied or refused that one should look behind them to the original conversation and work forward to the present.

(apologies for being late!)


"One should look behind them"

and perhaps ask themselves questions
- have I always be 100% honest, not only with myself, but with Mistress?
- have I always given every task, no matter how menial, or how trivial seeming, my whole hearted effort?
- have I always submitted with a smile on my face to morror the smile in my heart?
- have I always obeyed without questioning, even if the question has been left unasked?


If the answer to any one of these is a negative - then possibly the submissive has their answer.

Is that what you meant Shadowsdream?

 

[artful]

ADR

But what if one is denied and refused? What then? Rose

Then one needs to reflect, upon HOW, they arrived at the situation of being refused or denied. The answer is within each of us. Truth exists in ALL of us. Sometimes people FEAR the truth and will not face it,...but it IS there.

For each of us,...we have our own truths. For each of us,...the reasons may be different, but if we TRULY seek the truth,...it is THERE we can ALL find our answers.

(JMHO),...but it's mine,...and I own it.