You People Aren't Following The Rules!

[Sweetdaisymae]

To the young lady
We are a community here, a great many of us have been here for years, we know each others kinks, their foibles and mannerisms, and for the most part it is a diverse and harmonious environment to post. I am not saying we don't have the occasional falling out, seriously, NEVER discuss religion here
But buy following the rules and respecting that everyone is entitled to an opinion, even if it doesn't match our own, this place works and thrives and people like coming here for information and for friendship.
As a newcomer, you are not used to our ways... I get that, but by shitting in what is essentially our living room, you create a stink that is impossible to ignore. I do not believe for a minute that anyone wishes to sit back and inhale the aroma.
So you have options.
Suck it up, apologise, and try to fit in.
Ignore everyone and continue to be offensive.
Go to the GB where this type of behaviour is considered ok.

I would actually suggest the first because the folks round here are good people, intelligent, rationale and a wealth of knowledge.
Sadly it is pretty obvious you will do whatever pleases you, no matter the effect it has on others.

Wiltshire ham rules!! (Just saying)

 

[midwestyankee]

I hate ham.

Please don't hate me.

Of course we couldn't hate you, gracie. However, as the self-appointed Chief of the Ham America Parity Police Yelpers, I will have to exact a tribute of 1 cookie for every four cookies that you collect here. Just think of it as my way of saying it's ok to keep your lunch money.

Wiltshire ham rules!! (Just saying)

Taste test or it didn't happen.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

Taste test or it didn't happen.

You are most welcome to come over and try!
Try ham and sausage from one of the rare breeds like Gloucester Old Spot, it is beyond compare!

 

[Shankara20]

I hate ham.

I tried to smoke a ham once but it just wouldn't stay lit.

 

[graceanne]

Of course we couldn't hate you, gracie. However, as the self-appointed Chief of the Ham America Parity Police Yelpers, I will have to exact a tribute of 1 cookie for every four cookies that you collect here. Just think of it as my way of saying it's ok to keep your lunch money.

What cookies?

I don't see any cookies around here!

*brushes crumbs off shirt*

Nope, no cookies here. Sorry!

 

[SirVPL]

ty

See the blue bar above each post? Look over on the left side of the bar. It has the date and time of the post. Every post has it.

Also, on the page that lists the threads there is a column, third in from the right, that shows when the last post was made and by whom. It depends on the board activity, but generally if you go more than 5-10 pages back you're in the weeds.

If you search the boards by keyword, you'll still get the blue bar above the post/subject.

Ty.
What I don't know, I ask.
What I do know, I share.

 

[RawHumor]

Shouldn't this thread be in the Cafe?








(did someone already make that joke? I haven't read the entire thread)

 

[DVS]

Shouldn't this thread be in the Cafe?








(did someone already make that joke? I haven't read the entire thread)

Yeah, I did comment on that a while back...and I'm the guy who started the thread!

We have been hamming it up a little too much for the Talk forum.

 

[RawHumor]

Yeah, I did comment on that a while back...and I'm the guy who started the thread!

We have been hamming it up a little too much for the Talk forum.

There has been some good information here.

And in general, you can tell the newbs because they don't realize that the thread they're replying to is from 1998 and not just a few days old.

Unfortunately, threads get started in the wrong boards all the time. It'd have to get old being a monitor around these here parts.

 

[Shankara20]

We have been hamming it up a little too much for the Talk forum.

snicker....

 

[awnw]

As a new member, I appreciate this thread. Though the intimidation has worked- I think I will never ever start a thread.

 

[midwestyankee]

As a new member, I appreciate this thread. Though the intimidation has worked- I think I will never ever start a thread.

If you have a genuine question or something to say that's important to you, by all means please start a thread or find a pertinent thread that gets regular attention so you can get it out there.

To paraphrase someone, we don't hate new threads, we just hate insincere and dumb ones. (Hint: if it's truly sincere, we won't think it's dumb.)

 

[awnw]

Thanks. I do understand that. But I also understand that this community has rules and members who seem close and well connected. Its tought to be an outsider, but there seems to be a lot of folks who give a good example of how this community works.

 

[graceanne]

Thanks. I do understand that. But I also understand that this community has rules and members who seem close and well connected. Its tought to be an outsider, but there seems to be a lot of folks who give a good example of how this community works.

The thing to keep in mind is that you can become a part of this community, but it won't happen overnight. There is no place you can go into and instantly be part of that community overnight. You have to develop relationships. Most of the people who complain of the 'clique' or that we're not friendly have one of two they're doing wrong. 1) They think it should happen quickly, and when it doesn't they stop posting or get rude and/or whiney. 2) They're rude or obnoxious, like that one poster who attacked DVS (but it wasn't personal!) to get attention quickly, and are surprised when that annoys us!

 

[awnw]

I agree with you graceanna- the work has to be put in for the desired effect. And I think DVS can certainly take of himself! Haha Or so it seems!

 

[graceanne]

I agree with you graceanna- the work has to be put in for the desired effect. And I think DVS can certainly take of himself! Haha Or so it seems!

Well, he can be rather devious.

 

[awnw]

Oh I get it! Haha- thats clever!

 

[graceanne]

Oh I get it! Haha- thats clever!

I'd been here awhile before I got it. lol The only reason I did was I was telling K about something funny that happened on lit (I don't recall what) and I said DVS out loud, and then I realized ....

 

[Kajira Callista]

Wasn't gonna do it because DVS kept bringing it back to serious but before I get told how poorly I do my job off to the café with this. Sorry guys

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Wasn't gonna do it because DVS kept bringing it back to serious but before I get told how poorly I do my job off to the café with this. Sorry guys

Who'd have the guts to say either of you do your job poorly? You're the best mods on the whole bloody site!

 

[DVS]

Wasn't gonna do it because DVS kept bringing it back to serious but before I get told how poorly I do my job off to the café with this. Sorry guys

Oh, damn, damn, damn, damn! I knew we were being to hammy!

No need to be sorry at all. Rules are rules. I don't mind at all that you moved it. It just shows that I can have a thread moved to the cafe, when it gets out of hand.

 

[DVS]

Who'd have the guts to say either of you do your job poorly? You're the best mods on the whole bloody site!

I remember seeing a thread recently where someone posted something like that. I won't mention names, but it was one of our sometimes trollish people, and a comment that was out of line. If I remember correctly, KC stood her ground, though!

 

[DVS]

As a new member, I appreciate this thread. Though the intimidation has worked- I think I will never ever start a thread.

Ah, don't be chicken.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

As a new member, I appreciate this thread. Though the intimidation has worked- I think I will never ever start a thread.

awnw, I don't believe any intimidation was intended in the genesis of this thread - more a dry humor sort of guidance toward how our pair of fora was intended to work. Despite his personal predilection for some of the more esoteric and painful practices of our culture (DVS, like me, falls primarily on the S/m end of the spectrum), he is usually a gentle soul in verbal intercourse and very knowledgeable on the cultural topics about which he discusses (and an excellent musician, as well!).

Please feel free to start threads, either here or in Talk, on any topic about which you have interest, concern or question, the caveat being that Talk is usually "reserved" for topics of the *BDSM culture* from the viewpoint of experienced, practicing or interested BDSMers, and the Café is open to topics of *any* nature from those same folks. Thus, a thread on the topic, "How does one minimize bruising from a caning?" would fall into Talk's arena, while a thread bringing up a Dutch researcher's (non-peer-reviewed) findings that BDSMers, in a small-sample research project, are more mentally healthy than vanillas would probably find a better reception in the Café. (If, on the other hand, that same researcher's findings were multi-national and included *thousands and thousands* of responses, analyzed and coded by nationalities and totality, and still showed the same results across the board, it might fit very nicely into Talk!)

Other threads that fit "the Café template" would, of course, follow along the lines of "What Made You Smile/Laugh Today?" (because we *do* like to share amusements), "The Nerd Herd" (because a lot of us *are* nerds and like to share nerdy things we find), "Dear X" (it's good to vent, and some of our friends will often offer roses or hugs), "The 'Fuck You Cancer' Thread" (because it has affected so many of us in so many ways), and others - but none of these are directly related to the BDSM culture, so we keep them out of Talk; they're merely topics that one - or some - of us would like to discuss with others who share some form of our sexual preferences. Strangely enough, we've found over the years that people in the BDSM culture - kinksters, if you will - often have a better understanding of our emotional viewpoints than the "non-kinky," and thus can frequently help us work through, or better understand, our issues.

Above = tl:dr? Then this: Don't be afraid to start a thread. If it's strongly related to BDSM culture, issues, topics and/or concerns, it probably belongs in Talk. If it's something else you'd like to discuss just from the *viewpoints* of people in or interested in the BDSM culture, then it likely will go in the Café. If you inadvertently put it in the wrong forum, our wonderful mods will move it to the more appropriate of the two with little or no fanfare and no smacks on the hand with a ruler (unless you request that ).

Oh, yes... Welcome to BDSM Talk and the Café. There is a wonderful, wonderful group of people here, knowledgeable and supportive, and willing - *more* than willing - to share their years (and in some cases, decades!) of experience in the BDSM culture with those who want to hear about those experiences, as well as their experience in *life in general.* You'll learn quickly who many of them are, because they're frequent and very helpful posters; others, who post less often, will simply rise above the "madding crowd" because you immediately recognize that the wisdom they offer has resonated with you.

If you feel you have something to offer, please do, either as a response to someone else's thread/question or a new thread of your own. *NONE* of us (in the regular posters) feel we know ALL the answers; in fact, we often have questions, too! Again, welcome!

 

[Shankara20]

Oh, damn, damn, damn, damn! I knew we were being to hammy!

No need to be sorry at all. Rules are rules. I don't mind at all that you moved it. It just shows that I can have a thread moved to the cafe, when it gets out of hand.

HEY!!! I go away for two weeks and someone moves the ham!!!

WTF!!!




Now I suppose the green eggs are moved as well!!!