Your Married, What do you miss most about being single?

Freedom to do what i want when i want. Not having someone hovering over me 24/7.
 
I was married for twenty years, so I think that gives me a perspective on both sides of the divide. What's good about being divorced? Well, I certainly enjoy my liberty, to do what I want with whom when I want. I'm also answerable to no one. As I'm not looking for an extended relationship at the moment, I enjoy meeting a range of people and having different experiences. However, I can say that the early years of my marriage were wonderful. It's was all about sharing and pleasing the other person. Eventually, of course things became staid and routine. He wanted new things and so did I. We stayed together because of the kids - a familiar story, I'm sure. I really don't believe that many relationships can endure and be fresh after 5-10 years. We're emotionally and physically programmed for multiple sexual relationship. At least that's my view...
 
Probably just the ability to meet a woman, be excited about it, wonder what's going to happen with them, the 'newness' of a new relationship.

But don't get me wrong, I love having the stability of my marriage and my family. There's nothing better than coming home and seeing how excited a toddler is to see her dad. I reflect on the times that I was single and the women I slept with and the crazy things we did, but I also know that if I were dumped back into being single, it'd be a whole new ballgame, it'd be nothing like what it used to be. I'd be clueless.
 
I was married for twenty years, so I think that gives me a perspective on both sides of the divide. What's good about being divorced? Well, I certainly enjoy my liberty, to do what I want with whom when I want. I'm also answerable to no one. As I'm not looking for an extended relationship at the moment, I enjoy meeting a range of people and having different experiences. However, I can say that the early years of my marriage were wonderful. It's was all about sharing and pleasing the other person. Eventually, of course things became staid and routine. He wanted new things and so did I. We stayed together because of the kids - a familiar story, I'm sure. I really don't believe that many relationships can endure and be fresh after 5-10 years. We're emotionally and physically programmed for multiple sexual relationship. At least that's my view...
I agree with your view. Completely.
 
I miss the anticipation of the first kiss, the first touch ... the possibilities and the unknown.
 
I was married for twenty years, so I think that gives me a perspective on both sides of the divide. What's good about being divorced? Well, I certainly enjoy my liberty, to do what I want with whom when I want. I'm also answerable to no one. As I'm not looking for an extended relationship at the moment, I enjoy meeting a range of people and having different experiences. However, I can say that the early years of my marriage were wonderful. It's was all about sharing and pleasing the other person. Eventually, of course things became staid and routine. He wanted new things and so did I. We stayed together because of the kids - a familiar story, I'm sure. I really don't believe that many relationships can endure and be fresh after 5-10 years. We're emotionally and physically programmed for multiple sexual relationship. At least that's my view...

Although I agree with you that that seems to be the norm, and I DO think some of those tendencies are hard wired...I think it is (barely) possible to renew. Marriage isn't a liner slope...it is a series of cycles within cycles...what makes it challenging is lining up the cycles of each of you as an individual and the cycles that involve your dynamic as a couple and having the perseverance and stamina to ride them out and hold on to faith that it WILL come around again. I am a HUGE fan of Athol Kaye's approach in Married Man Sex Life. My bias and leaning is towards a male-led relationship, but I am open to the idea that others could well succeed with a female led one. Navajo culture is a matriarchy. But someone has to LEAD without apology. My thinking is the gender with the (stereotypically) consistent, less hormonally driven libido if given the reins tends to keep the embers lit. Allowing a marriage to degenerate to roommates is death.

My ex and I hit our stride about 17 years in in our 15th year of marriage. The cycles aligned, some weird mid-life stuff- honesty above all, and a willingness to be vulnerable and feed the beast of libido was very validating. Sadly it was a swan song, but it never had to be.
 
Randomness

I miss having multiple random sex partners and getting to please them orally! I love to lick and suck pussy ass and cock and I miss it!
 
Talked about this the other day. Strangely the only thing I miss is the freedom to just go off somewhere when ever I have a few free days, just hop a train or plane to somewhere I have never been before.
 
I was married for twenty years, so I think that gives me a perspective on both sides of the divide. What's good about being divorced? Well, I certainly enjoy my liberty, to do what I want with whom when I want. I'm also answerable to no one. As I'm not looking for an extended relationship at the moment, I enjoy meeting a range of people and having different experiences. However, I can say that the early years of my marriage were wonderful. It's was all about sharing and pleasing the other person. Eventually, of course things became staid and routine. He wanted new things and so did I. We stayed together because of the kids - a familiar story, I'm sure. I really don't believe that many relationships can endure and be fresh after 5-10 years. We're emotionally and physically programmed for multiple sexual relationship. At least that's my view...

Almost a case of 'Snap'!

The circumstances of my split were different but otherwise I couldn't put it differently.

People grow and change over time and, unless a couple grow and change together, the things that brought them together in the beginning will no longer be there. Longer life expectancies can only exacerbate that problem.

Some people, though, whether they have kids or not, cannot take the impact of divorce: the emotional upheaval; having to move house, probably to a smaller place; possibly a reduced income; and loss of mutual friends and their social circle. Plus, a lot of people equate not having a permanent partner with failure. As a result they stick with it. I know several people in that situation - their marriage is defunct, they're effectively just housemates (and ones who often don't get on), and they're having a pretty sad time.
 
Almost a case of 'Snap'!

The circumstances of my split were different but otherwise I couldn't put it differently.

People grow and change over time and, unless a couple grow and change together, the things that brought them together in the beginning will no longer be there. Longer life expectancies can only exacerbate that problem.

Some people, though, whether they have kids or not, cannot take the impact of divorce: the emotional upheaval; having to move house, probably to a smaller place; possibly a reduced income; and loss of mutual friends and their social circle. Plus, a lot of people equate not having a permanent partner with failure. As a result they stick with it. I know several people in that situation - their marriage is defunct, they're effectively just housemates (and ones who often don't get on), and they're having a pretty sad time.

I think people often feel pressure to stay together from family and friends, because its what they are "supposed" to do.
 
Marriage is about roughage, bills, garbage disposal, and noise. There is something vulgar, almost absurd, in the notion of a Mrs. Plato or a Mme. Descartes, or of Wittgenstein on a honeymoon.
 
Marriage is about roughage, bills, garbage disposal, and noise. There is something vulgar, almost absurd, in the notion of a Mrs. Plato or a Mme. Descartes, or of Wittgenstein on a honeymoon.

It's this type of thinking that set humanity back for so long.

For most of history, women were thought of as secondary to men, and we suffered as a whole because we missed out on the contributions that women would have made. We've been firing on half the cylinders this whole time.

Early Greeks had time and leisure to think about our place in the world precisely because there were people taking care of business behind the scenes. The wives were at home getting stuff done, and that freed up the men to get together and politics, philosophy, and also engage in casual (read: Platonic) sex with other men while they were at it.

As for Wittgenstein, he simply couldn't get married because he was also gay.
 
The pleasure of firsts: a first kiss, the first touch, exploring each other for the first time, the first time you realize you want him, and that he wants you, the first time he enters you, that first wave of desire you have for him.

The newness of a relationship can bring such excitement and passion.
 
The pleasure of firsts: a first kiss, the first touch, exploring each other for the first time, the first time you realize you want him, and that he wants you, the first time he enters you, that first wave of desire you have for him.

The newness of a relationship can bring such excitement and passion.

Those few lines have created such powerful thoughts and longings in my mind.
 
The pleasure of firsts: a first kiss, the first touch, exploring each other for the first time, the first time you realize you want him, and that he wants you, the first time he enters you, that first wave of desire you have for him.

The newness of a relationship can bring such excitement and passion.

Some how you have to create more of those "firsts" to keep the magic alive.
 
I really don't miss being single. But, having said that, I am in a wonderful relationship that still, after 30+ years, has new experiences and surprises me on occasion. We've raised 3 children, have 5 grandchildren, and enjoy spending time in each other's company. Yes, at times we both have expressed being pressured to do all the have to's and not enough of the want to's be we have worked through those.
It hasn't been perfect, but, it has been, and continues to be very, very good. Won't trade it for anything.
And yes, there have been some terrible experiences along the way.
 
.... sex.

But other than that all is grande and I wouldn't trade or change it (other than the lack of sex part, that is!)
 
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