❓ Inquiring Minds Want To Know - Discussion Thread

[PrettyLilPussy19]

I live for the mindfuck.

^^^ yep.
Hard to do though...

 

[Angedesoleil]

I live for the mindfuck.

You want to take a crack at explaining it? Or did I do half a decent job? Been a long day ♡

 

[AlwaysFara]

LOL!!! I think it’s different. For all of us.
Why we like it?
We are sick fucks, maybe?

 

[Angedesoleil]

True but isn't that the question? What constitutes a mindfuck for you? Tmi maybe nods.

I've been thinking of more fun terms that I like...but I've always found it interesting that we refer to things as "scenes". I was actually very put off by this for a long time, because it implies roles, temporary, put on. ...


Edit: I don't think I'd call myself a sick fuck.... only in the good dreams I'm perpetually a good girl. ... nods.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I live for the mindfuck.

Yep..

 

[AlwaysFara]

It is TMI.
Sorry. I still don’t feel myself.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

It is TMI.
Sorry. I still don’t feel myself.

That you're a sick fuck?

Not like it's news around here...

 

[cascadiabound]

LOL!!! I think it’s different. For all of us.
Why we like it?
We are sick fucks, maybe?

This. Mind fuckery is especially effective with me I think in part because my imagination is so vivid. It all wraps me up so hard in the ideas...

But exactly what mind fucks work for me...totally TMI. And why we like it?
Probably cause I am a twisted sick chicka.

 

[AlwaysFara]

That you're a sick fuck?

Not like it's news around here...

We all know that.
I meant, what Cas said. Specifics.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I also think what works is different with each partner, or can be.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

We all know that.
I meant, what Cas said. Specifics.

Ah, I see. I misunderstood.

 

[cascadiabound]

Monday Question:

Experience!
How important is it in a partner? Do you prefer someone with lots of experience with different types of play, partners, etc? Or do you like "training" someone for the first time? Have you ever been someone's first foray into BDSM? (Feel free to share your first experience - within the rules) How does your partner's experience level or the way you identify (Dom, sub, swith) factor in to your play?



***If I haven't got to everyone, thank you for participating! And thanks to those who have submitted questions! Keep them coming!

Okay... I know I am jumping in here with old questions... but indulge me anyway.
1) I am old. Well. Old enough to have strands of white hair in my otw brown. So I am not all that interested in someone that is greener than green. But I do not care if they have had BDSM experience. I want them to have had LIFE experience and to have a good handle on THEMSELVES. If they know themselves and they click with me and we are a good match then I feel like lots of things can be worked out and negotiated and needs can be met and the relationship can evolve over time.

2) Yes, I have been someone's first foray into BDSM. It has felt like a real privilege to experience that.

3) I am very very far over in the submissive side of the spectrum. I cannot Dom (though I have a wide bossy streak in my non sexual relationships that can sometimes appear to be Domming ~ lol) and I think switching would be downright confusing.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Okay... I know I am jumping in here with old questions... but indulge me anyway.
1) I am old. Well. Old enough to have strands of white hair in my otw brown. So I am not all that interested in someone that is greener than green. But I do not care if they have had BDSM experience. I want them to have had LIFE experience and to have a good handle on THEMSELVES. If they know themselves and they click with me and we are a good match then I feel like lots of things can be worked out and negotiated and needs can be met and the relationship can evolve over time.

2) Yes, I have been someone's first foray into BDSM. It has felt like a real privilege to experience that.

3) I am very very far over in the submissive side of the spectrum. I cannot Dom (though I have a wide bossy streak in my non sexual relationships that can sometimes appear to be Domming ~ lol) and I think switching would be downright confusing.

Jump all over the place babe!
Im interested! Im also interested in revisiting some of these questions down the road.

 

[cascadiabound]

Thursday Question:

Negotiations and Aftercare - The Before and After
Can you give examples of how you and your partners navigate both negotiations and aftercare? Do you include them in online play?

Negotiations seem to me to be almost more critical in online play. When I was new to Lit and new to BDSM and in a bit of sub frenzy and had NO FUCKING IDEA what the hell I was doing, I did not do enough negotiations and found myself in situations that I did not want to be in, but being submissive and a pleaser, did not know how to back out and say.. "hell no that is not working for me and, if you had asked is actually on my soft/ hard limits list!!" You can imagine... these things left me in a bit of a mess and with abrupt cut off and no aftercare I thought that was the normal thing with on-line stuff. Listen up... NOT NORMAL and NOT OKAY. Aftercare is an absolute must for me following on-line interactions. And clear negotiations about what each person needs and the framework for how we are going to be together are really necessary - maybe not for a specific interaction, but for me, to have general principals understood along with hard and soft limits articulated so any play that might happen will occur within that framework.

 

[cookiecat]

LOL!!! I think it’s different. For all of us.
Why we like it?
We are sick fucks, maybe?

For me, a good mindfuck means he took time to get to know me. He knows what buttons to push, how far he can take things, what I fear, what makes me wet.

It means he knows me.

 

[AlwaysFara]

Negotiations seem to me to be almost more critical in online play. When I was new to Lit and new to BDSM and in a bit of sub frenzy and had NO FUCKING IDEA what the hell I was doing, I did not do enough negotiations and found myself in situations that I did not want to be in, but being submissive and a pleaser, did not know how to back out and say.. "hell no that is not working for me and, if you had asked is actually on my soft/ hard limits list!!" You can imagine... these things left me in a bit of a mess and with abrupt cut off and no aftercare I thought that was the normal thing with on-line stuff. Listen up... NOT NORMAL and NOT OKAY. Aftercare is an absolute must for me following on-line interactions. And clear negotiations about what each person needs and the framework for how we are going to be together are really necessary - maybe not for a specific interaction, but for me, to have general principals understood along with hard and soft limits articulated so any play that might happen will occur within that framework.

Yes. This was me. I wanted to please. I wanted to do it right. I wanted to prove I was a sub.
So naive.

I remember I was on the phone with one guy when I first got here. And he told me to call him Master.
And I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to “do it wrong” but I just couldn’t.
So I used the safe word.

And he HUNG UP ON ME!!!

Are you fucking kidding me??!

Sooooo NOT a Dom, sooooo NOT a man.
I don’t use titles.
This probably has a LOT to do with that.

 

[AlwaysFara]

For me, a good mindfuck means he took time to get to know me. He knows what buttons to push, how far he can take things, what I fear, what makes me wet.

It means he knows me.

Yes.
I have this. Gahhh!!!

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Yes. This was me. I wanted to please. I wanted to do it right. I wanted to prove I was a sub.
So naive.

I remember I was on the phone with one guy when I first got here. And he told me to call him Master.
And I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to “do it wrong” but I just couldn’t.
So I used the safe word.

And he HUNG UP ON ME!!!

Are you fucking kidding me??!

Sooooo NOT a Dom, sooooo NOT a man.
I don’t use titles.
This probably has a LOT to do with that.

There needs to be a whole thread on weird, awful, absurd, hilarious shit that has been said during phone sex.

 

[AlwaysFara]

There needs to be a whole thread on weird, awful, absurd, hilarious shit that has been said during phone sex.

I was like... fingers deep... going... buh???

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

I was like... fingers deep... going... buh???

<shoots water out nose>
Lord... I'll have to tell you about the whisperer one day.

 

[AlwaysFara]

<shoots water out nose>
Lord... I'll have to tell you about the whisperer one day.

Crazy ass mother fuckers.

 

[cascadiabound]

Crazy ass mother fuckers.

I know. Holy shit...the crazy shit i put up with is just....beyond words.

 

[cookiecat]

There needs to be a whole thread on weird, awful, absurd, hilarious shit that has been said during phone sex.

or done. I remember spanking myself. Now, I think what the heck?? At the time I felt so naughty.

 

[Dreamliner]

or done. I remember spanking myself. Now, I think what the heck?? At the time I felt so naughty.

If you by chance shot a video of that cookie, would you mind posting it? should be entertaining.

 

[Dreamliner]

Our brains are our largest sexual organ, use them appropriately and you always (normally) get the desired outcome! A shared experience between two partners should provide for and satisfy each of them.