2 for 1 / Bi women and Crossdressing Men

[naughtyinsilk]

Paige is making a lot of sense.

I have been with my wife, for 12 years now although we only married last year.

She gets excited when I am crossddressed, sexually and emotionally.
I prefer to have mainly my own dresses etc but we do share, we both get such a kick going out shopping for me, often we will buy matching underwear.
Most of her girlfriends are aware of my habit, and they will sometimes turn up with a purchase, and love to have me model it for them.

I suppose not being the kind of person who gets embarrassed easily helps, and even when embarrassed have enough front to hidde it.

I have yet to meet a woman who didnt like a guy in womens clothing every once in a while, and the number of them that have said to me if only there partner would do it for them they would be so happy.

The only other point I would make is that if other girls invite you as a girl into there bedrooms for girly makeup and clothing sessions, you should respect their trust, and act and think in the same way that any other girlfriend of theirs would, and not take it for granted that you are ther for a pervy watch them in their underwear session. I have a number of lesbian friends who over the years have accepted me as one of the girls and treat me as a woman and not a guy, because they know I will do nothing to betray their trust.

 

[rbijon]

Paige is making a lot of sense.

I have been with my wife, for 12 years now although we only married last year.

She gets excited when I am crossddressed, sexually and emotionally.
I prefer to have mainly my own dresses etc but we do share, we both get such a kick going out shopping for me, often we will buy matching underwear.
Most of her girlfriends are aware of my habit, and they will sometimes turn up with a purchase, and love to have me model it for them.

I suppose not being the kind of person who gets embarrassed easily helps, and even when embarrassed have enough front to hidde it.

I have yet to meet a woman who didnt like a guy in womens clothing every once in a while, and the number of them that have said to me if only there partner would do it for them they would be so happy.

The only other point I would make is that if other girls invite you as a girl into there bedrooms for girly makeup and clothing sessions, you should respect their trust, and act and think in the same way that any other girlfriend of theirs would, and not take it for granted that you are ther for a pervy watch them in their underwear session. I have a number of lesbian friends who over the years have accepted me as one of the girls and treat me as a woman and not a guy, because they know I will do nothing to betray their trust.

...oh the thrill of soft santiny panties and stockings!....

 

[naughtyinsilk]

rbijon, you should try satin and silk nighties too, its such a nice way to go to sleep, especially as our sheets are satin too, although you do slide around the bed while your asleep.

 

[Paige.]

Respect

Naughtyinsilk,

I think you are so correct that respect for another person goes a long way in the success of your own acceptace as a crossdresser. Give respect and you will get respect.

 

[naughtyinsilk]

Naughtyinsilk,

I think you are so correct that respect for another person goes a long way in the success of your own acceptace as a crossdresser. Give respect and you will get respect.

One of the things that used to upset me when I was living in London, was that there were a few real hardnosed TV's especially at the Way OUt Club, who would mock and generally take the piss out of people who were taking their first steps as a crossdresser, and whose budget or lack of experience showed with their makeup, wigs outfits etc, and rather than give them advice and support, made them feel so uncomfortable that they lost all confifdence and wouldnt go out again.

We all have to learn, and treating people with a little respect gives such a boost to their confidence, which can make such a difference in the long run and in the end is a reflection on your self. Acting like a bitter, vicious old troll is just letting yourself down, and reduces your own opportunities for fun.

If as tvs we support and help each other we learn so much more, a lot quicker.

sorry didnt mean to go into preacher mode

 

[Paige.]

Hi Paige. I definately would love to dress completely as a woman including the wig, make-up and all of the accessories (jewelry, etc). But I know I'm not passable. Just don't have the body for it - at least not yet. And while I dress, I have to remember to not look in the mirror - because the image in my head certainly isn't the image looking back at me.

And the fear of being "caught" is overwhelming. The humilation and possible ridicule. How would my parents/siblings react? I have a 4 year old niece and wonder how my sister would react to the news - would I still be allowed to see my niece (probably in male clothing only). My family is very close and whenever I have them over, I get nervous and am paranoid about them finding my clothes - even though I know that they are safely hidden.

I have only shared with one person about my crossdressing - a woman who I have worked with for 10 years and who left the company a year ago. It wasn't until she left that I decided to tell her. And she was cool with it. Now if only I could talk her into going shopping with me - I could use the advice and help. I've received advice and helpful tips from other CDers but for some reason, it just isn't the same as receiving help from a GG. Perception on my part perhaps....

I think the woman you worked with could help you a lot, not so much on tips on how to dress and look attractive, but more for psycological support and acceptance. I hope you contact her and ask if she can help you get beyond some of your fears.

If she is willing she may allow you to dress at her place where you can be more relaxed if that is possible. Does it really matter that you are not passable, as long as there is someone with you that understands and supports you? Dress in private for your own enjoyment.

 

[iwpsp]

I think the woman you worked with could help you a lot, not so much on tips on how to dress and look attractive, but more for psycological support and acceptance. I hope you contact her and ask if she can help you get beyond some of your fears.

If she is willing she may allow you to dress at her place where you can be more relaxed if that is possible. Does it really matter that you are not passable, as long as there is someone with you that understands and supports you? Dress in private for your own enjoyment.

Yes my friend was able to help me out psycholigically. We chatted through e-mail almost ever day between January and May of this year when we had to stop (she is married and her husband was reading her e-mail without her knowledge and read something that she told me that he didn't like).

I don't have any other woman that I confide in and I have tried adult sites like alt.com and others like that but all I got were messages from men.

Anyway, I dress in private as much as I my current wardrobe allows.

 

[kiwisub]

iwpsp I know exactly how you feel especially your comment about trying not to look in the mirror.
Whilst its great dressing in private you get to the point where I am now where that isnt enough and you desperately need to be seen by someone else in 'the real world'. Ideally thats in private with someone understanding or even better with someone who likes it however its not easy to find people as I have found out.
I have considered going out in the car at night dressed up however deep down I know I couldnt do it as it would be too risky.

 

[Mac109]

I would crossdress if I had the clothes and stuff D: plus I have no idea, at all, how to apply makeup (and being poor doesnt help D o well~ someday maybe

 

[naughtyinsilk]

iwpsp I know exactly how you feel especially your comment about trying not to look in the mirror.
Whilst its great dressing in private you get to the point where I am now where that isnt enough and you desperately need to be seen by someone else in 'the real world'. Ideally thats in private with someone understanding or even better with someone who likes it however its not easy to find people as I have found out.
I have considered going out in the car at night dressed up however deep down I know I couldnt do it as it would be too risky.

I fully understand, your desire to go out and be seen, and to find someone to share the experience with. There are ways that I would consider to be reasonably safe to do this, which you may enjoy.
If there are no TV clubs in your area, I would suggest you find a gay club that is close to you. You dont have to be gay to go there, but in my experience its a place where tvs can normally relax. Get dressed up, and call a taxi to take you there and to return you home again afterwards, this avoids hanging around on the street which can be dodgy at times especially if you are nervous. After a few visits you will probably make friends amongst the girls as well as the boys which will do your confidence the world of good.
If there isnt a club near you, find a hotel that is near a club and stay there and change there as well. If you do its better to quietly tell the receptionist that you will be going out "dressed up" then it will avoid problems when you return late.

Mac109 I would crossdress if I had the clothes and stuff D: plus I have no idea, at all, how to apply makeup (and being poor doesnt help D o well~ someday maybe

Crossdressing isnt necessary expensive, use charity shops to start with if you can, or alternatively use ebay, a large number of my outfits have cost under a tenner, and you will find lots of larger size shoes there too. As for makeup its trial and error to start with, but you may find it helps if you study women, see what they wear and how each effect looks. Search the net for a good makeup guide, if I could reccomend one I would but I have never had to find one, I have been fortunate that my wife has taken the time to show me. You will also find books in secondhand shops full of makeup tips and womens magazines are also a excellent source of ideas too.

Trial & error is the only way to learn, but if its something you want to do, you will probably be doing it on & off for the rest of your life so its worth getting some practice in now. The sooner you relax and start doing it the sooner you will be enjoying it and will hopefully find someone to share it with.

Good luck to you both, if I can help I will, just ask me.

 

[Paige.]

iwpsp I know exactly how you feel especially your comment about trying not to look in the mirror.
Whilst its great dressing in private you get to the point where I am now where that isnt enough and you desperately need to be seen by someone else in 'the real world'. Ideally thats in private with someone understanding or even better with someone who likes it however its not easy to find people as I have found out.
I have considered going out in the car at night dressed up however deep down I know I couldnt do it as it would be too risky.

When you say it would be too risky to be out in the car at night are you concerned that someone you know will see your car and recognize you, or are you just very self-conscious and nrevous about being dressed in public?

I still think an understanding wife or girlfriend is the best way to get catapulted beyond your fear. Naughtyinsilk is fortunate in this regard and has good advice for the rest of you.

That woman in the miror can be your ally, at least for a while. You have a need to be admired and hopefully you can look at her and see that she is pretty and that you as a man would like to be with her.

I agree that dressing in private can only take you so far. It sems to me that both you and Iwpsp have not yet come to grips with the beauty within you that is struggling to be seen and recognized.

I don't know if you have any pics or if you have ever posted any on Lit but you could try something like that to get accustomed to showing yourself. I realize it isn't easy to find someone in the 'real world' that understands and supports your lifestyle. Myself and other posters on this thread, or other threads, aren't exactly 'real world' but if you felt you could take the risk, why not ask if you could send some pics privately to see if that might build your confidence. That might be a stretch because none of us would be there to in person but I think there are some people here that would be willing help you without making you feel silly or small.

Have you explored any more with the salesgirl at the store where you bought your panties? I'm sure you will eventually find someone but you have to let us know you are interested. Many women here are obviously intrigued with men in panties and that could be a start for you to 'go all the way'

 

[naughtyinsilk]

I can only add one thing to Paiges excellent advice, PM me if you want to talk about this in private, or would like some advice particular to yourself.

Never despair, there is nothing you can go through that one of us here already hasnt.

 

[iwpsp]

iwpsp I know exactly how you feel especially your comment about trying not to look in the mirror.
Whilst its great dressing in private you get to the point where I am now where that isnt enough and you desperately need to be seen by someone else in 'the real world'. Ideally thats in private with someone understanding or even better with someone who likes it however its not easy to find people as I have found out.
I have considered going out in the car at night dressed up however deep down I know I couldnt do it as it would be too risky.

My sentiments exactly!

 

[naughtyinsilk]

iwpsp, good luck, I see you have taken the step of placing an ad in the personal section, I really hope you find someone who can help you with this.
I get so much enjoyment from crossdressing, I know that you will too, just relax and take things at your own pace.

 

[kiwisub]

https://forum.literotica.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=697052

I have posted a couple of panties shots here. Darent show my face in a photo. Thanks for your help and support guys it is much appreciated. I know this isnt the place however if anyone would like to chat some more personally about me / this please pm me.
Going into a club is a step much too far at this time. Maybe if I can get through a face to face I will feel differently. I darent go out in the car for fear of being caught yes.

 

[iwpsp]

iwpsp, good luck, I see you have taken the step of placing an ad in the personal section, I really hope you find someone who can help you with this.
I get so much enjoyment from crossdressing, I know that you will too, just relax and take things at your own pace.

Thank you!

 

[naughtyinsilk]

Thank you!

Mo worries, and as I have said previously, PM me if you wan to talk to anything, I appreciate how lucky I have been and wish to help those who arent. Thats what girlfriends do

 

[Swordplay]

Just gotta say, Paige and naughtyinsilk you two are amazing ... keep up the good advice!

 

[little cletus]

ITs a bit old hat and cliched these days, but to guage my now wifes and my previous girlfriends attitude to me crossdressing, at somepoint in the first year I would have them around drinking and watching the RHPS on video and make the suggestion that it might be good to see it on stage or at the cinema. I have found that they will normally say "Yes but you have to dress up" or want to go back a second time and do the dressing up thing then. If they dont like the video or want to see it live, its unlikely they will approve of you crossdressing.
Its a simple test but it has proven right for me over 25 years and for a number of friends too.

BUt prepared to be surprised, I have been amazed over the years how many women want to dress their guy as a girl

This is soooo true. My wife loves RHPS and it was definitely the gateway to her letting me wear panties more often. She loves cross dressers and she thinks man on man sex is hot. I remember watching the movie the first time with her. I left the bed and came back wearing white lace panties. As we continued to watch the movie she started jerking me off under the panties. She pulled out a small vibrator and lubed it up and fucked me with it. When i came it was all over her hands and she made me lick it up. I am rock hard just thinking about this. I dont think RHPS is a good movie, but it is my favorite

 

[naughtyinsilk]

Sounds similar to the evening we are planning tonight

Glad to hear you enjoy it, as much as I do.

 

[stlpenguin]

I can't speak for all, but for me:

- I crossdress because I find women so hot I want to copy them. I'm "bi" in the sense that I want to have sex with men, but not because I find men emotionally or physically attractive. When I'm getting pegged by my girlfriend, I'm enjoying gender play - being a 'woman' - the role change and the physical stimulation. I find wearing women's clothing to be a part of that play.

- I find 'sluts' really very hot because I imagine their sexuality to be very much like my male sexuality - they clearly know what I find physically appealing about a woman, and advertise it. Acting at that is an extension of what I'm talking about above.

I imagine that if I were a woman, I'd: want to get it on with another woman; I'd want to have sex with multiple men, and all the other male fantasies I have.

My girlfriend and I have talked quite a bit about having a MMF threesome - or at least MM action where she gets to watch. She's very turned on by it, and likes the idea of seeing me go down on and get fucked by a GM. I suppose I may not really like it in reality, but the fantasy is so intense that I do want to try it. I'm quite certain that the reason I like wearing women's thongs is the sensation of the "floss" on my anus - it's a stimulating reminder of that erogenous area, and a reminder of the intense sexuality of being the doee, not the doer. And that is exactly why I love get so turned on by women wearing thongs - I imagine that they are experiencing the same kind of thing.

In a way, this is not terribly different from how I feel as a male dom - most of what really turns me on about topping her is the intense response she has to being "used" - being bound, spanked, whipped, penetrated (with toys - often multiple), clamped, etc. Her intense pleasure as a submissive is what I get off on - not so much the sensation of dominating anyone. I find the idea of being a slut and having my holes used intensely arousing without ever really looking at a guy and popping a boner. I find that even when I'm wearing a thong, or sometimes a thong and a plug while out and about, and feeling very "feminine", I'm still checking out women. Heck, even when I make a concious effort to check out men, I'm dissappointed at how many are just plain ugly to me. I can't believe there's something sexy about 70% of the random women I see on the street, and 70% of the guys are ugly. There's got to be some bias going on in the observer there. It maybe that I have a submissive somewhere inside, although I do not personally find pain stimulating or arousing.

Anyway, to recap: I'm so turned on by "sluts" that I want to be one. There's probably some kind of auto-erotic gender dysphoria in there.

I was going to respond to this thread, but someone already said EVERYTHING I was going to.

I'd like to second the part about finding women so attractive that I want to be like them. I just feel like men have no gender identity. Women are sexy. Women are caregivers. Women have a style of clothing all to themselves, and so many varieties, colors, fabrics (most of which are soft and feel very nice!) and shoes of all different shapes and sizes. Women make themselves even prettier with makeup and jewelry. Mostly, aside from some being a bit emotionally unbalanced like most of my ex-girlfriends, they're the better gender.

What do men have? Shirts. Shoes. Pants. ... yawn. Button shirt + Tie + Suit coat if it's business. Double-yawn. I feel like a carbon copy of a gender I don't even want to be a part of.

Think about it - when you think "woman" you think "soft, beautiful, loving, caring, sexy, playful." I don't see MEN afraid to walk home alone because the women are waiting out there in the dark. I rarely see a woman on trial for rape.... or murder, or child molestation... Not saying women don't do anything wrong, but it seems like my gender is a dud.

Frankly, it just feels good to feel like something desirable rather than a man.

-- The Penguin

 

[naughtyinsilk]

In simple terms, when i am dressed as a women I feel more glamourous and sexy, and my mind works somehow in a different way, I become softer & gentle like satin and silk in the breeze.

 

[Geeare]

My crossdressing experiences started with my wife's illness. It took over three years for her to die. She became bed ridden and I quit work so I could tend to her. It was one of the darkest periods in my entire life.

After her death I had no emotional currency left in my account. I was utterly and completely spent, emotionally, physically and financially. I realized my life held nothing that was soft, pretty, or feminine. I was neither interested nor ready to start dating but I was desperate to have some beauty in my life. So I started dressing and eventually found what I needed -----myself. Dressing as a woman was fantastic and I absolutely loved the experience. I found beauty, softness, sensitivity, sexuality, respect and understanding to name a few things. I found a part of myself that I had to drag kicking and screaming to the light of day. It was an incredible sexual experience and when I was dressed I became vibrant and ALIVE and powerful. I think I also came away with a much better understanding of the sexual dominance and power women have over men.

I needed to love myself, to embrace my weaknesses as well as my strengths. I found the love I needed through a very strong attraction to the image smiling back at me from the mirror. At the time I thought I must be a little weird. I thought I was gorgeous and couldn’t get enough of myself. When I dressed I went “full Monty” so to speak, from false eyelashes, earrings and painted nails to panties, hose and heels. Of course you know the expression “go fuck yourself” and that is exactly what I wanted to do, but I preferred to think of it as making love. I wanted so badly for the woman in the mirror to give me oral sex and I desperately wanted to fuck the mirror woman. I can’t tell you the number of times I jerked off into the sink as I admired and desired the woman that imitated my every move. I could make her do whatever I wanted, and she was very, very good.

I agree with Paige's original premise that there are lots of men that would love to dress if they could find a woman to support their fetish. When I dressed I was always afraid of being discovered. I was in a closed marriage and didn't realize there are open minded women that are turned on by dressed men. I believe there are many more men that feel the same but we can't allow the news to get out unless it is on a forum like this. Unfortunate.

 

[eroticheart]

Thank you for your apology.

I have been single for 18 months now after a 20 year marriage. When married I had a online lover for 2 years. It was wonderful and we finally parted as he lived in another country and knowing we could never be together hurt too much. I don't want to chance feeling that again.

I am single so I only seek single people when it comes to being together in what ever sexual form that takes. I don't want to live in a fantasy world of phone calls and emails. I want to touch and explore any time I take the fancy. Not when a person can get away from their partner. I don't want to hide away.

I also realise now how destructive hiding things from a relationship partner is. I now realise how hurt a persons partner would be if they found out about 'me'. So I don't want to go there.

It is very different thing to chat about feelings and urges here on the boards.

Kiwisub I know this is going to be off the thread subject. But it was something you said in you post about you being single and not wanting to be with married man. You said it is very different thing to chat about feelings and urges here on boards. Wow is it!! Some of us including me have a hard time saying what I would like to say on here but cant. Some of the men on this thread have professed there inner feelings and urges. I still cant do that with what I hold secret. I did profess yesterday in a pm of to a individual what I hold secret but felt comfortable telling that person because she felt the same way and had same urges. I know there or lot of people on here with same urges that tell, but alot that dont. Wether its men wearing panties or men liking men or women wanting to dress like a man and wear a false cock it all urges. Urges that even though we are hiding behind a computer up to thousands of miles apart we cant always tell. They maybe no real bigges at all but we cant tell because some people will think your a prevert, or your not manly because of it or they should through you in a nut cell! People can be very cruel to things that you profess even on computer! These men on here that have professed things, I respect them and their urges and any other person on any other thread except for something that would hurt a child or a woman. Okay now I will start breathing again!

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Eroticheart, When I found Lit 5 years ago this month I learnt that what my thoughts were, were not just only running through my head but a lot of others also. It felt so liberating.

At first I was shy also, but as the months went by here I relaxed and am able to talk about all and everything now.

Relax and let your thoughts flow.