A personal ad

[rgraham666]

Haven't given a report on this for a while.

Not necessary anyway. See the above post.

Sigh.

 

[matriarch]

Haven't given a report on this for a while.

Not necessary anyway. See the above post.

Sigh.

I really don't rate those sites.
I tried several, and despite specifying that I was a woman seeking women, Match.com specifically kept sending me hits .....from guys!!! WTF?????

 

[LadyWhiteWolf]

Having met my husband through a personal ad, I can most certainly suggest this site. It's wonderful because you can look all over the world for your match.

Here's wishing you success, Mr. Rob!

http://www.datingbuzz.co.nz/s/

 

[rgraham666]

Sigh.

Update.

This is going nowhere fast.

Shrugs. Didn't expect anything else though.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Sigh.

Update.

This is going nowhere fast.

Shrugs. Didn't expect anything else though.

Hang in there, Rob. It is tough meeting women, unless you are rich or have something else like that going for you. I met my wife through an ad I placed in a newspaper, and we are extremely happy together.

 

[rgraham666]

Hang in there, Rob. It is tough meeting women, unless you are rich or have something else like that going for you. I met my wife through an ad I placed in a newspaper, and we are extremely happy together.

Good for you, Box.

Me? I don't hold out much hope for me though. I'm poor and weird. For 99.99% of the female gender those are relationship killers.

 

[rgraham666]

I decided to change the blurb about myself in my profile. The PR speak in the original obviously wasn't working.

After reading 3113's story Full Disclosure that's the route I decided to go, honest.

It certainly can't work any worse than what in their in the first place.

 

[Boxlicker101]

I decided to change the blurb about myself in my profile. The PR speak in the original obviously wasn't working.

After reading 3113's story Full Disclosure that's the route I decided to go, honest.

It certainly can't work any worse than what in their in the first place.

Hi, Rob.
You don't have to be brutally honest but lying is self-defeating. If I were to refer to myself as being young and handsome, the woman who answered my pitch would probably run away when she saw me. At the same time, if you go to the gym now and then, you can get away with calling yourself "athletic".

Being weird isn't all that bad. Being poor is, but women usually like a guy who can make them laugh, not at him but with him.

 

[rachlou]

Having met my husband through a personal ad, I can most certainly suggest this site. It's wonderful because you can look all over the world for your match.

Here's wishing you success, Mr. Rob!

http://www.datingbuzz.co.nz/s/

Well I just posted a profile on a this site ^^^ - doing well so far - one message from a guy in Saudi Arabia. Hmm how convenient. Especially when I specified 'England ONLY' for potential dates! I don;t mind travelling, but i'm not prepared to go THAT far for a date!!

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I decided to change the blurb about myself in my profile. The PR speak in the original obviously wasn't working.

After reading 3113's story Full Disclosure that's the route I decided to go, honest.

It certainly can't work any worse than what in their in the first place.

That reminds me, I was going to change my profile on Match.

Well I just posted a profile on a this site ^^^ - doing well so far - one message from a guy in Saudi Arabia. Hmm how convenient. Especially when I specified 'England ONLY' for potential dates! I don;t mind travelling, but i'm not prepared to go THAT far for a date!!

That's a problem that I have, only not to that degree. I live in the greater New York City metropolitian area, and the "dating" sites keep offering up matches that live a few hours drive away. I just got one from Philadelphia today, and the ones from Long Island can be potentially five hours away.

I am looking for someone that I can meet for a first date, not someone that I can trade emails with for a few years before deciding that maybe it's worth making a weekend of meeting each other. But they just don't get it when tell them to reduce my radius, and then they go and expand it...

 

[rgraham666]

Sorry Box. But I am going to be brutally honest. I tried the obfuscation route and it meant women started running away after I'd gotten a little hope.

Now if a woman contacts me she knows what she's going to get and can't claim to be surprised.

I'm sick to death of being disappointed. And I'm sick to death of women claiming to be open minded and tolerant when they're not.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Sorry Box. But I am going to be brutally honest. I tried the obfuscation route and it meant women started running away after I'd gotten a little hope.

Now if a woman contacts me she knows what she's going to get and can't claim to be surprised.

I'm sick to death of being disappointed. And I'm sick to death of women claiming to be open minded and tolerant when they're not.

It's the law of supply and demand and men are on the wrong side of that law. The demand is for women, and the supply of men is so great that women know they can afford to be as picky as they want.

 

[Pure]

i don't think you should give up, rg. use a highly trafficked place, and do let the ad and profile go stale (which is usually obvious).

have one of these nice Lit females vet your ad.

the nice thing about the 'net is that 99.9% NOT interested is not fatal. one in a thousand for positive responses is not fatal if there's a couple thousand who see the add. many niches at lit, e.g. lesbian porn, male submission, are one in a thousand interests.

that said, i would not be too off putting in terms of negatives. better to have, say, one in a hundred respond, and then YOU do the sort downward to the best 10% of those, the one in a thousand.
---
i really think there is some truth to 'for every pot, there is a lid.' the apparent exceptions are those who narrow the pool; e.g. the nondescript 40ish woman holding out for the dashing 40ish lawyer millionaire. i think age is another issue to think of: do you mind a woman, say 10-15 years older?

---
two additional notes:
box's statement
//the supply of men is so great that women know they can afford to be as picky as they want//

is not really accurate. I think once age 35-40 is approaching the odds are in favor of the male hunter.

lastly: i don't think low income is fatal provided you are self sufficient. what IS likely fatal is to present as embarrassed or defensive about it.

 

[Boxlicker101]

i don't think you should give up, rg. use a highly trafficked place, and do let the ad and profile go stale (which is usually obvious).

have one of these nice Lit females vet your ad.

the nice thing about the 'net is that 99.9% NOT interested is not fatal. one in a thousand for positive responses is not fatal if there's a couple thousand who see the add. many niches at lit, e.g. lesbian porn, male submission, are one in a thousand interests.

that said, i would not be too off putting in terms of negatives. better to have, say, one in a hundred respond, and then YOU do the sort downward to the best 10% of those, the one in a thousand.
---
i really think there is some truth to 'for every pot, there is a lid.' the apparent exceptions are those who narrow the pool; e.g. the nondescript 40ish woman holding out for the dashing 40ish lawyer millionaire. i think age is another issue to think of: do you mind a woman, say 10-15 years older?

---
two additional notes:
box's statement
//the supply of men is so great that women know they can afford to be as picky as they want//

is not really accurate. I think once age 35-40 is approaching the odds are in favor of the male hunter.

lastly: i don't think low income is fatal provided you are self sufficient. what IS likely fatal is to present as embarrassed or defensive about it.

I still say there are far more men who are available than there are women, at any age. The key word is available, and I would define that as unmarried and interested. Almost all unmarried straight men are very interested, but many women are not. They may say they are and may believe it, but they do nothing positive about it, prefering to sit around and wait for Prince Charming. Or, there are the nondescript 40ish women you mention who are aiming way out of their league. And,k there are the many women who are just not interested. They may have been taught by bitter mothers that men are all bad. Or they may be women who have been through a nasty divorce and have given up on men. Men go through nasty divorces too, but they don't give up on women, although they may be more careful.

If you want, you can prove this. Post a personal ad under Men ISO Women and a comparable one under Women ISO Men. Make the subjects of the ads equally desireable or undesireable, and see which one gets more responses. I actually did this on one site. As Red Hot Mama, I got hundreds of answers and answered none and did not answer any ads posted by men. Boxlicker101 got no responses, not even from women supposedly advertising for men when I answered their ads, except from prostitutes and pay sites.

 

[Penelope Street]

Some of this is bound to be the old "grass is always greener" stuff, but I haven't even tried to count the number of unmarried middle-aged women I know personally who sit at home every evening dreaming, even praying, that Mr. Right will suddenly appear on their doorstep. He doesn't have to be Prince Charming- they'd be thrilled to have Squire Dumpling give them a second look. If a few believe men are bad, I'm confident they formed that opinion more from things men did instead of things their mother said. So why are they sitting home watching cable TV with only their cat and ice cream for company? Because none of them are size six and society has more or less told them they aren't desirable and at some point they started believing it. They've given up looking, but that doesn't mean they aren't interested.

 

[Misty_Morning]

Rob,

Maybe the internet isn't the right way to find the girl for you. Since you are a man of high intelligence and possess superb literary skills, why not join a book club? You would be very much in your element.

I am sure you will be able to captivate many women simultaneously with your charm, sensitivity and wit. And they will have friends too that aren't part of the book club. I'm sure the word would spread like wildfire.

Just a thought.....

hoping the best for you....

Misty

 

[Boxlicker101]

Some of this is bound to be the old "grass is always greener" stuff, but I haven't even tried to count the number of unmarried middle-aged women I know personally who sit at home every evening dreaming, even praying, that Mr. Right will suddenly appear on their doorstep. He doesn't have to be Prince Charming- they'd be thrilled to have Squire Dumpling give them a second look. If a few believe men are bad, I'm confident they formed that opinion more from things men did instead of things their mother said. So why are they sitting home watching cable TV with only their cat and ice cream for company? Because none of them are size six and society has more or less told them they aren't desirable and at some point they started believing it. They've given up looking, but that doesn't mean they aren't interested.

I'm glad you agree with what I said earlier about women sitting passively at home. I would not consider such women as being "available" because they have removed themselves from the pool of women who actually are available.

As for their reaason for doing so, that is nonsense. Society hasn't told them any such thing. Hollywood and fashion magazines have, but that is a very tiny part of society, although a highly influential one. Most men prefer females with womanly curves. Skin and bones feel terrible to hug. If you don't believe me, take a poll of the men in AH. The poll wouldn't be very scientific but it might mean something. People made jokes about Calista Flockhart as Ally McBeal, and they still make fun of skinny fashion models.

 

[rgraham666]

Rob,

Maybe the internet isn't the right way to find the girl for you. Since you are a man of high intelligence and possess superb literary skills, why not join a book club? You would be very much in your element.

I am sure you will be able to captivate many women simultaneously with your charm, sensitivity and wit. And they will have friends too that aren't part of the book club. I'm sure the word would spread like wildfire.

Just a thought.....

hoping the best for you....

Misty

Not sure this would work, Misty.

I was a member of Mensa for a while. One of the main reasons I joined was to meet women.

Didn't work. Much like Lit almost all the women were either attached, gay, lived too far away or some combination thereof.

I'm being impatient, I guess. I told myself that I would would not be surprised if I got hooked up in a year. With a decade is such a state not unlikely.

Penny, if a woman is sitting at home and not looking, she's not interested. But then again I'm a complete existentialist.

 

[Misty_Morning]

deleted

 

[Penelope Street]

As for their reaason for doing so, that is nonsense. Society hasn't told them any such thing.

I agree it's nonesense, but I disagree in a big way that society has told them no such thing. The majority of those who frequent this site are more enlightened than most, true, but polling the AH will tell me nothing regarding the self-esteem of the women in question. Are they available? Well, I guess that depends on one's definition and I'm not sure it's worth the threadjack to put terminology through the ringer, you know?

 

[Penelope Street]

Penny, if a woman is sitting at home and not looking, she's not interested.

If you really believe this, then I guess there's not much point in discussing it and I certainly have better things to do than get existential. I do think Misty has some good ideas reagrding clubs and if she has some single friends in Toronto, I'd trust a friend over a dating site anyday. You know I wish you the best, whatever you decide.

 

[TheEarl]

I do think Misty has some good ideas reagrding clubs and if she has some single friends in Toronto, I'd trust a friend over a dating site anyday.

Seconded.

You know I wish you the best, whatever you decide.

Double seconded.

The Earl

 

[rgraham666]

I'm going to wait until I calm down.

But I do believe I'm going to give up on this.

I've had quite enough of being jerked around.

 

[StormRising]

I'm going to wait until I calm down.

But I do believe I'm going to give up on this.

I've had quite enough of being jerked around.

Rob:

I have no reason to ask to, but can I write a blurb for you?

"Hi, I'm Rob. I am an up-and-coming writer of romantic fiction with honest conversational skills, a realistic view of the world and a strong sense of humor. Intelligent, thoughtful and caring are watchwords in my life. I am looking for a woman who will appreciate a man who has seen the dark side of life and survived it, and who is tired of the juvenile head games and immature posturing. Friendship building into a deeper, lasting relationship is what I'm hoping for. Making new friends along the way, even if we aren't romantically suited, is a bonus in my book. If you're looking for a relaxed, no-pressure dip into the scary world of Internet dating, please feel free to drop me a line."

*hugs* and good luck.

Happy holidays!

 

[rgraham666]

Thanks but no.

Although I'm still waiting to calm down to make a final decision, I'll probably be deleting my profile there.

All it's doing is highlighting how little in common I have with most of my species. And how unlikely it is I'm ever going to meet anybody.