A question for the female authors so I don't get slapped around by the trolls

[Comshaw]

2 of my sisters are visiting today, I'll ask them for you.

Thank you

Comshaw

 

[Comshaw]

I wrote a dream orgasm for a female character once and got zero trolls for my efforts. Stop being a wimp and write what you want.

oooh, I bet that tough guy thing gets the ladies, huh?

You can write anything as long as you write it well. And if you write it poorly, saying “but I asked a bunch of randos on a forum and they said so” is not going to redeem your story afterwards.

Yeah, maybe I'll try writing a story good enough that it is accepted by the readers. Who knows, maybe I'll succeed.

Comshaw

 

[elizaloo]

Thanks. While I could have looked on the net that wouldn't have given the answer I needed. It wouldn't have given me the human part of it, that some women climax very easily and do so while dreaming.

Comshaw

You are welcome. Real life experience beats anything you'll find on the interwebs anyway.

That particular phenomena started when i hit my late 30's...arousal was non-stop and I began cumming whenever, however and all the time. It stopped when I was undergoing cancer treatment but has come back with a vengence. The 'waking in the morning to a cum' and randomly throughout the day as well as on demand has intensified lately, but I'm not naming names. You know who you are.

 

[elizaloo]

Of course.
Why would I lie to them?
My sisters will proofread my stories as well.

Just curious - so many of those who read/write here keep it hidden from family and friends for personal reasons.

My BFF is a member here and writes as does my brother, my husband (whom I met here) is a member and has started a few stories to submit, and most of my family knows I write porn..so to me, it's a 'normal' thing to have those conversations with family/friends....I had hoped your situation was similar, and that you weren't posting that in jest.

 

[alohadave]

Just curious - so many of those who read/write here keep it hidden from family and friends for personal reasons.

My BFF is a member here and writes as does my brother, my husband (whom I met here) is a member and has started a few stories to submit, and most of my family knows I write porn..so to me, it's a 'normal' thing to have those conversations with family/friends....I had hoped your situation was similar, and that you weren't posting that in jest.

No one IRL even knows i write, let alone that I write porn.

 

[AlexBailey]

My wife was taking a sleep aid meditation for a while that caused her to sleepwalk frequently.

She’d get up at night and do amazing things while sound asleep. One night she used her cell phone to take perfectly cropped pictures of a book of paintings - she didn’t discover it until she saw the pics in her cellphone the next day. Another time around two in the morning she scooped out a bowl of ice cream and didn’t wake until the cold spoon touched her lips.

Sex was interesting - she would get frisky and grab at me, getting me turned on. Several times she only woke up once I penetrated her, a couple of times she was still out of it until she came. She really liked that and asked me to “take advantage” of her whenever it happened.

She stopped taking the medication after one morning when I knew she’d been sleep walking, we checked her phone and she had been outside taking dozens of pictures of the lights on our street.

 

[elizaloo]

No one IRL even knows i write, let alone that I write porn.

Are you ok with that? Or do you fight the urge to tell them?

I'm an 'open mouth and my whole life falls out' kind of person. Hence, my willingness to share my experiences in this thread. Ask me and I'll tell you.

 

[TadOverdon]

Not necessarily. Highly unlikely that I will spontaneously quantum tunnel into Elon Musk’s money vault and out again with $1 bn in loose change.

Dream-killer.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Dream-killer.

I am working on it however

 

[Comshaw]

As with many things we include in stories, it's comes down to the difference between the culturally accepted as possible/common versus scientifically understood and/or verifiable.

Female sexual response is woefully understudied (patriarchy ftw ) but, yes, nocturnal orgasms are thought possible in both sexes.

Whether a reader knows that (unlikely) or is blindly willing to accept that (magic 8 ball says: Don't count on it.) is the tightrope of reality/fiction we often walk.

To the subject at hand, my research has shown it's possible but not as reliably evident as in men. Also, those women who have them tend to experience them early on in life, in their highly hormonal years.

It would read odd to me to me to see it as a surprise to a mid-lifer without some inciting event. (hormone replacement therapy, medical condition, etc.)

There's two paths here, the educational path (write it b/c it is scientifically valid even if not widespread (outlier's stories are better for telling) or the invitation to identify/embody the character path through commonality. What I will say, women generally are a little more empathetic readership so your characters can be a little more outside their life experience and still engender plenty of empathy.

Both work well if you stay firmly on the path you've chosen.

Caveats are careful not to get too technical or preachy if you are introducing something a little outside the norm.

Readers want to trust you but they have their limits.

TL: DR:

1. Yes, it happens.
2. They are harder do diagnose b/c less obvious and less interest by science to go looking.
3. #2 informs much of the social attitudes/beliefs about commonality of them.
4. Write it well, women (and men) will find their empathy reserves and identify w/your character even if not a shared experience.
5. Trolls argue not for group enlightenment, but only to argue. Reality doesn't matter.

As with everything narrative, if it's necessary, write it being sure to support it properly when you do.

For me a fictional story with fictional characters does not mean the storyline is or has to be fictional. As far as what can happen, when I'm writing a story such as the one I'm working on, I like to have factual backing for things (like dream orgasms) I claim happened to make the storyline as plausible as possible. That is unless I'm writing a sci-fi or fantasy story where ANYTHING is possible. That's a different game altogether.

As far as verification for the question I asked, I did so for several reasons. 1) Because I get irritated at myself when I inadvertently claim a fact in a story that is not true and get called on it by the trolls. It's not so much they called me on it as it is I missed it. At times I'm my own worst troll. 2) I could have found verification on the net, but it would not have the same human flavor, IE; "Yes, it happened to me and yada,yada, yada." For me, that adds something to the answer that a clinical description doesn't.

I'm a big believer in 'there is no such thing as an absolute'. I rarely if ever claim something isn't without the proviso of "yet". It always amuses me when anyone 'round these parts says, "That can't happen!" "That's not true!" and does so with being both blind to the possibilities and/or staunchly mired in their own ignorance.

I for one do not like my ignorance. So if I can verify something, I've learned a thing and can also smile with knowledge when someone claims, "It just ain't so!" on nothing more than a whim and a wish.

Comshaw

 

[alohadave]

Are you ok with that? Or do you fight the urge to tell them?

I'm an 'open mouth and my whole life falls out' kind of person. Hence, my willingness to share my experiences in this thread. Ask me and I'll tell you.

Yeah, I'm cool with it. My wife doesn't like porn, so it's just something that I keep segmented.

And I'm not going to tell my family because that would be weird. If I was writing mainstream stuff i'd tell and share it.

 

[jehoram]

This phenomenon goes way back. An "incubus" was a legendary male demon that visited women in their sleep and left them aroused. They were blamed with impregnating women and producing demonic offspring or witches, and probably whatever malformed babies that the parents wanted to get rid of. ("That can't be MY kid," the father says.)

The female counterpart was a "succubus," a female demon that visited men in their sleep. According to legend, they needed semen to survive. They were blamed for all those nocturnal orgasms (wet dreams) that God-fearing men would get from time to time.

 

[Seadog777]

Thank you

Comshaw

Both of them said that they'd never experienced "nocturnal emissions" where a man cums in his sleep and wakes up sticky.
They've woken up all "hot to trot" and ready to go though.

 

[spankableBelle]

I'm in the process of writing a story and hit a situation I need an answer to. As a guy I've more than once had a wet dream. I've awakened from an erotic to find I was cumming. Do women do that? Dream to orgasm? I asked my wife but she had never experienced such a thing. So have you? Or have you talked to another woman that has? No need for a description (although my deviant little brain would love to hear it!) a yes/no verification should suffice to keep me from getting slapped around by the trolls telling me that doesn't happen. If you are so kind as to give me an answer, thank you dear ladies.

Comshaw

I have.
I've awakened in the midst of an orgasm. I've awakened just after one. And I've awakened right as one is starting.
I sometimes remember the dreams, but a lot of times, I don't.

 

[Seadog777]

Just curious - so many of those who read/write here keep it hidden from family and friends for personal reasons.

My BFF is a member here and writes as does my brother, my husband (whom I met here) is a member and has started a few stories to submit, and most of my family knows I write porn..so to me, it's a 'normal' thing to have those conversations with family/friends....I had hoped your situation was similar, and that you weren't posting that in jest.

My family knows.
A few have told me "you don't need to be so open about everything you know".
My mother has actually said "why can't you be a normal person and lie sometimes" LOL.
You'd think they'd be used to me by now.

I'm happy to hear that you're family is good with it as well.
I think it makes things easier and go more smoothly that way.

 

[GrantBricksly]

I'm in the process of writing a story and hit a situation I need an answer to. As a guy I've more than once had a wet dream. I've awakened from an erotic to find I was cumming. Do women do that? Dream to orgasm? I asked my wife but she had never experienced such a thing. So have you? Or have you talked to another woman that has? No need for a description (although my deviant little brain would love to hear it!) a yes/no verification should suffice to keep me from getting slapped around by the trolls telling me that doesn't happen. If you are so kind as to give me an answer, thank you dear ladies.

Comshaw

Ok, so I am obviously (I assume obviously) not a woman. But I can still give you an answer based on personal experience.

My wife has absolutely done this.

Now, it is a new development for her. It never happened before me. She and I spent months (literally months) training her body to respond to my verbal (and non-verbal) commands. And now she can orgasm on command. I mean literally, I could call her up at work right now, out of the blue and tell her to "Cum for me" and she would do so, without any preamble or lead up.

As a result of this training, there have been times when she has been particularly aroused at bed time and will have dreams. And I have witnessed her orgasm in her dreams. When she woke up after (or sometimes during) she would tell me that in her dream she had heard me, clear as day, telling her to cum.

I've also managed (with her consent) to finger her to orgasm a few times in her sleep. She has several times reached over and grabbed me and jerked me off in her sleep. I've managed to eat her out, and fuck both her mouth and pussy while she was sleeping, though she has always woken up before completion for those.

As for if it happens naturally, I cannot say. I do not think she would do it without the way we have done things, and the way we have conditions her body to respond to me.

 

[djrip]

She and I spent months (literally months) training her body to respond to my verbal (and non-verbal) commands. And now she can orgasm on command. I mean literally, I could call her up at work right now, out of the blue and tell her to "Cum for me" and she would do so, without any preamble or lead up.

I'm curious how one trains for this. Also I'm now envisioning you setting your house up with booby traps that just trigger recordings of you saying that.

 

[GrantBricksly]

I'm curious how one trains for this. Also I'm now envisioning you setting your house up with booby traps that just trigger recordings of you saying that.

It's all about orgasm denial. In fact denial of any stimulation without permission. And then constant edging, without the release of orgasm. When she was given release, it was only with the accompanying command. Slowly building the connection in her mind between those words and her body's response. It isn't easy, and I cannot guarantee it will work for other people. I've only ever done it with my wife. And it took almost 6 months of training to get to where we are now.

We are not talking earth shattering orgasms every time. If there is no lead up it will be a small one. But she will orgasm every time. I think once or twice she hasn't, since we began..but she was in a state of extreme stress at those times..so her body was likely unable to respond properly.

Also...If I didn't have kids...I would ABSOLUTELY be setting up triggers all over the house like that.

 

[Comshaw]

It's all about orgasm denial. In fact denial of any stimulation without permission. And then constant edging, without the release of orgasm. When she was given release, it was only with the accompanying command. Slowly building the connection in her mind between those words and her body's response. It isn't easy, and I cannot guarantee it will work for other people. I've only ever done it with my wife. And it took almost 6 months of training to get to where we are now.

We are not talking earth shattering orgasms every time. If there is no lead up it will be a small one. But she will orgasm every time. I think once or twice she hasn't, since we began..but she was in a state of extreme stress at those times..so her body was likely unable to respond properly.

Also...If I didn't have kids...I would ABSOLUTELY be setting up triggers all over the house like that.

A Pavlovian conditioned response. With animals it can be done in a short amount of time. With humans it takes longer and is a hard thing to break. Ask any combat vet about thier response to unexpected loud noises. But it's very interesting in this context, consensual conditioning. Maybe I can work that into the story too.

Comshaw

 

[Emilymcplugger]

Whether a reader knows that (unlikely) or is blindly willing to accept that (magic 8 ball says: Don't count on it.) is the tightrope of reality/fiction we often walk.

I can’t really comment on this subject, however my latest story does feature a magic 8 ball and I can confirm at least that “Don’t count on it” is indeed an option.

 

[Euphony]

For me a fictional story with fictional characters does not mean the storyline is or has to be fictional. As far as what can happen, when I'm writing a story such as the one I'm working on, I like to have factual backing for things (like dream orgasms) I claim happened to make the storyline as plausible as possible. That is unless I'm writing a sci-fi or fantasy story where ANYTHING is possible. That's a different game altogether.

As far as verification for the question I asked, I did so for several reasons. 1) Because I get irritated at myself when I inadvertently claim a fact in a story that is not true and get called on it by the trolls. It's not so much they called me on it as it is I missed it. At times I'm my own worst troll. 2) I could have found verification on the net, but it would not have the same human flavor, IE; "Yes, it happened to me and yada,yada, yada." For me, that adds something to the answer that a clinical description doesn't.

I'm a big believer in 'there is no such thing as an absolute'. I rarely if ever claim something isn't without the proviso of "yet". It always amuses me when anyone 'round these parts says, "That can't happen!" "That's not true!" and does so with being both blind to the possibilities and/or staunchly mired in their own ignorance.

I for one do not like my ignorance. So if I can verify something, I've learned a thing and can also smile with knowledge when someone claims, "It just ain't so!" on nothing more than a whim and a wish.

Comshaw

First let me verbalize I see through the same "curiosity makes for better creativity" lens. (tone can be hard to show here and the general tenor of the place has been less than creatively ideal lately.)

That said, I agree google can be too binary but AH polling suffers from sample size. IF getting a "real person" confirmation is what it takes to put myself in a positive headspace with a concept, I seek it out but I've slowly worked towards google/research literature being "enough."

Honestly, most writers here have a sense of the accepted commonalities of sex and generally stick to them. We sort of know what's "outlier" just by having lived in society.

My creative engine is these outliers. Confirmation from others or it being my 100% lived experience doesn't hold sway in the court of the reader's mind. Sometimes are adherence to "complete accuracy" of our memories slams into reader's plausibility danger zone. I am left with some options.

Reflect honestly if I'm being a bit precious with a memory/my experience and if accuracy is 100% necessary to the narrative. If it's is, it can stay. No, kill the darlings.

Educate (but that requires earnest work to not look r/ I am so smart), or at the very least coddle readers common apprehension with a few words in recognition of it giving them a hand to find their empathy. " In even our most baudiest conversations, none of my girl friends ever admitted they ever had a similar experience. (clearly just dashed this off but you can see the end goal)

Fringy stuff like this requires only a touch of author/reader "we're in this together commonality" and most who have read your quality characters will stay aboard. (I don't like to lead with fringy stuff. I don't have those level skills yet.) If not, sorry reader, wasn't your type of story I guess.

Tropes beaten to death *CAN* work (noticeably large dicks, age/life experiences defying body resilience (flawless youthful skin, perfect breasts after many children, etc. etc.) but only if you do the honest work of supporting it. Few do b/c tropes are a often a shortcut so there's a disinterest in doing that work.

I find them tedious relative to the oomph they give most of my narratives. (they are very common , after all)

Everything's a balance act. Slowly but surely I'm walking further out on the tightrope for myself and not the approval of cheering onlookers or cameras.

If exploring the woefully unresearched female nocturnal orgasm is calling to you, go forth an write the mindful hell out of it.

There's an interesting article/essay on VICE that might inspire some interesting thoughts/ideas of your own.

 

[BelleCanzuto]

I'm in the process of writing a story and hit a situation I need an answer to. As a guy I've more than once had a wet dream. I've awakened from an erotic to find I was cumming. Do women do that? Dream to orgasm? I asked my wife but she had never experienced such a thing. So have you? Or have you talked to another woman that has? No need for a description (although my deviant little brain would love to hear it!) a yes/no verification should suffice to keep me from getting slapped around by the trolls telling me that doesn't happen. If you are so kind as to give me an answer, thank you dear ladies.

Comshaw

I absolutely have. In fact, some of my most satisfying "if I smoked, I'd need a cigarette right now" orgasms have happened that way. I usually wake up as I'm cumming, feeling the spasms in my vagina and vulva. Then I typically collapse, curl up on one side and sleep for a while.

And, just to add to the TMI, the dreams themselves, at least the parts I remember, are usually very disjointed and weird. I.e. not a fantasy I'd spin consciously.

 

[stickygirl]

Define dream and then define sleep. As AlexB suggested, there can be different levels of 'sleep' sometimes induced by illness, drugs etc. and the same with dreams. I had a partner who appeared to orgasm while she was asleep because I was helping - she didn't admit to remembering it next morning.

Both of them said that they'd never experienced "nocturnal emissions" where a man cums in his sleep and wakes up sticky.

Never wake me up without good reason.

 

[Seadog777]

Define dream and then define sleep. As AlexB suggested, there can be different levels of 'sleep' sometimes induced by illness, drugs etc. and the same with dreams. I had a partner who appeared to orgasm while she was asleep because I was helping - she didn't admit to remembering it next morning.


Never wake me up without good reason.

Does coffee count??? LOL.

If I'm awaken when sleeping, it's most likely for an accident or fire call.

 

[Athalia]

I don't remember the dream or the orgasm, but I've definitely awakened with a sense of coital bliss and languor. Does that count?