A Radical Sabbatical Idea

[carsonshepherd]

Sorry. Everything went dark for a minute.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

And you can MARRY people too! You can marry whomever you want! Girls and girls... boys and boys and girls... horses and alpacas... Oh shit, the mind boggles.

Easy, son. Marrying them, uh, folks is a snap. Getting a license from the great state of wherever so the newlyweds can file joint tax returns, that's a different matter.

Maybe we could succeed and form our own state, or nation. That's it, we'll form our own country and then after the Feds send in all those buff boys and girls to subdue us, all that foreign aide will come rolling in and....

Stop it, Rumple. You saw the Mouse that Roared. What if we won?

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin

 

[carsonshepherd]

Easy, son. Marrying them, uh, folks is a snap. Getting a license from the great state of wherever so the newlyweds can file joint tax returns, that's a different matter.

Have you seen our sources of income? we won't be filing any tax returns Rev.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Carson,

I've been holding back on this, didn't want to get the weak of heart palpitating, but between the porn business and the angle I'm thinking about, money should never be a problem.

What we'll do is declare porn a religion and claim Litstock is our holy land. LC would make a great televangalist (only I'm not sure if he likes skanky hookers and church secretaries). Anyway, that's just a detail, I'm still working on the big concept.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin

 

[carsonshepherd]

Carson,

I've been holding back on this, didn't want to get the weak of heart palpitating, but between the porn business and the angle I'm thinking about, money should never be a problem.

What we'll do is declare porn a religion and claim Litstock is our holy land. LC would make a great televangalist (only I'm not sure if he likes skanky hookers and church secretaries). Anyway, that's just a detail, I'm still working on the big concept.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin

Can I get an amen?

 

[Xelebes]

I shall tinker, calculate, sand anything you need. Other than that, I am of no use and you might wanna vote me off the island.

 

[Xelebes]

Can I get an amen?

*queue's the Winston Brothers*

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

There's more. Oh, dearly beloved, I've just had a vision.

We'll tie into the Da Vinci Code hysteria by emphasizing the sacred female. Since Vella started this thread, she can be our Earth Mother (or some such title). Just imagine the mini-skirted ministers we could send out to save lost checking accounts all over the world. The mind boggles.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin

 

[Guest]

There's more. Oh, dearly beloved, I've just had a vision.

We'll tie into the Da Vinci Code hysteria by emphasizing the sacred female. Since Vella started this thread, she can be our Earth Mother (or some such title). Just imagine the mini-skirted ministers we could send out to save lost checking accounts all over the world. The mind boggles.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin

i think i just got ass tingles!
no,
i know i did!

 

[minsue]

Rumply, you're my hero

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

Carson,

I've been holding back on this, didn't want to get the weak of heart palpitating, but between the porn business and the angle I'm thinking about, money should never be a problem.

What we'll do is declare porn a religion and claim Litstock is our holy land. LC would make a great televangalist (only I'm not sure if he likes skanky hookers and church secretaries). Anyway, that's just a detail, I'm still working on the big concept.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin

I can see that. "And God saw the porn and it was good."

I'll accept the role but only if I don't have to have that special hair and all my church secretaries are my Lit minions.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I can see that. "And God saw the porn and it was good."

I'll accept the role but only if I don't have to have that special hair and all my church secretaries are my Lit minions.

Sorry, LC.

Your time has come and gone. We're now focusing on the Sacred Female Other. Vella will be Earth Mother or whatever title tickles her tushy. The ministers will all be females.

But hang around for a few more minutes and another trendy movement will probably kick in. Maybe we can start a the Discount House of Worship for women who can't relate to other women. Hum. Time to do sit under my tree, pinch a few butts, and think.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

I doubt that we could finance even fifty filthy acres, etc., through the sale of our porn.

I suggest we turn Utopia into a Theme Park.

So much a ticket to watch, so much more a ticket to participate.

The porn we can publish for advertising — a type of a Lost Leader

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Sorry, LC.

Your time has come and gone. We're now focusing on the Sacred Female Other. Vella will be Earth Mother or whatever title tickles her tushy. The ministers will all be females.

But hang around for a few more minutes and another trendy movement will probably kick in. Maybe we can start a the Discount House of Worship for women who can't relate to other women. Hum. Time to do sit under my tree, pinch a few butts, and think.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin

I prefer a religion with a drive up window so I can sit in my car and finish my Double Quarterpounder and fries while I worship the Chocolate Covered Lesbian Goddess.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I doubt that we could finance even fifty filthy acres, etc., through the sale of our porn.

I suggest we turn Utopia into a Theme Park.

So much a ticket to watch, so much more a ticket to participate.

The porn we can publish for advertising — a type of a Lost Leader

VB, or as your new title will no doubt be, Sister Burlesque. With our current scheme, make that grand vision, to combine porn and religion, the only problem we'll have with money is figuring out where to stash, er, safely invest it in earth friendly endeavors.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

Sorry, LC.

Your time has come and gone. We're now focusing on the Sacred Female Other. Vella will be Earth Mother or whatever title tickles her tushy. The ministers will all be females.

But hang around for a few more minutes and another trendy movement will probably kick in. Maybe we can start a the Discount House of Worship for women who can't relate to other women. Hum. Time to do sit under my tree, pinch a few butts, and think.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin

Succubus transformation. Right, yeah. And the problem is?

Hmm, though there is beauty in the idea of becoming a straight-up evangelical rallying against porn and sending all money to Litopia.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Succubus transformation. Right, yeah. And the problem is?

Hmm, though there is beauty in the idea of becoming a straight-up evangelical rallying against porn and sending all money to Litopia.

Battling religious factions already?

Fuck! This is supposed to be Utopia!!!

 

[minsue]

Battling religious factions already?

Fuck! This is supposed to be Utopia!!!

Well, it is Litopia.

 

[Evil Alpaca]

VB, or as your new title will no doubt be, Sister Burlesque. With our current scheme, make that grand vision, to combine porn and religion, the only problem we'll have with money is figuring out where to stash, er, safely invest it in earth friendly endeavors.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin

I'm feeling the spirit now! Oh wait . . . that could be dandruff.
There won't be no snake handlin' will there?

 

[Guest]

I'll be Rumply's handmaiden, but I don't do housework.

Perdita

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I prefer a religion with a drive up window so I can sit in my car and finish my Double Quarterpounder and fries while I worship the Chocolate Covered Lesbian Goddess.

Deviant, you seem to have the perfect mind to become an apostle. My only rebukement would be your not mentioning the new Hardee's Monster burger. With over half a pound of beef, bacon, and cheese, it contains over 1400 calories (don't ask about fat content, it's too scary to mention). We'll just have to make sure the individual has made THE CHURCH the chief (only?) beneficiary in their will before they begin eating.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin

ps: Sister Perdita, you can hold my hand any day. Oh, dearly beloved, beleivers are heeding the call.

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

Battling religious factions already?

Fuck! This is supposed to be Utopia!!!

Oh, we're not battling. We're supplementing. Or joining...sloppily. And repeatedly.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Oh, we're not battling. We're supplementing. Or joining...sloppily. And repeatedly.

Good. I was about to leave for my cabin in the woods.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Good. I was about to leave for my cabin in the woods.

Depart not, young Carson. The trick is to supply the spiritual needs of all sides. We'll be the thesis and the antithesis, the yo and the gurt. Who gives a damn what the issue is, just so long as we supply the spiritual needs of both sides, and they in turn assuage our financial needs?

For as is well know, "Tis more blessed to give (to us) than to receive (anything but a bumper sticker in return)."

Our sacred mission therefore, should be to make sure those poor souls get totally blessed out and Litstock becomes the new Garden of Eden, ie clothes free.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

Depart not, young Carson. The trick is to supply the spiritual needs of all sides. We'll be the thesis and the antithesis, the yo and the gurt. Who gives a damn what the issue is, just so long as we supply the spiritual needs of both sides, and they in turn assuage our financial needs?

For as is well know, "Tis more blessed to give (to us) than to receive (anything but a bumper sticker in return)."

Our sacred mission therefore, should be to make sure those poor souls get totally blessed out and Litstock becomes the new Garden of Eden, ie clothes free.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin

Amen, Rev