A Radical Sabbatical Idea

[carsonshepherd]

So when you come knocking on the door, and I answer it naked, you won't leave quickly like the Jehovah's Witnesses?

Will you make me read the Watchtower?

 

[Honey123]

I am not sure I can do much of anything, but I am willing to sell myself to the highest bidder...to raise funds of course for all the beds we will need to have sex on and the paper to write on and of course to set up a sturdy coffee shop.

What will the bidding start at??

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

So when you come knocking on the door, and I answer it naked, you won't leave quickly like the Jehovah's Witnesses?

Will you make me read the Watchtower?

Nay, Brother Carson. You must be free to plume your wings for higher flights and nobler deeds.

(bet that got you off their pray list) A female friend of mine pulled the same type of stunt, except she was trying on the see-through baby doll she bought to wear on her husband's birthday. When the good ladies came knocking, she grabbed a cigarette and a glass of something from the kitchen table, then opened the door with a big, "Hello. Oh, I'm sorry. I was expecting someone else." They never returned, either.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I am not sure I can do much of anything, but I am willing to sell myself to the highest bidder...to raise funds of course for all the beds we will need to have sex on and the paper to write on and of course to set up a sturdy coffee shop.

What will the bidding start at??

Oh, Honey, your heart is as big as your beautiful behind, but your skull is two foot thick.

You have those special qualities it takes to become a minister to the rich and sexually oppressed. Our church of the sacred female will take upon tiself the mission of relieving these poor chumps, souls, of their burdens, along with a sizable chunk of their checking account. You will be Sister Honey (or whatever title turns your crank) angel of mercy.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin

 

[Honey123]

Oh, Honey, your heart is as big as your beautiful behind, but your skull is two foot thick.

You have those special qualities it takes to become a minister to the rich and sexually oppressed. Our church of the sacred female will take upon tiself the mission of relieving these poor chumps, souls, of their burdens, along with a sizable chunk of their checking account. You will be Sister Honey (or whatever title turns your crank) angel of mercy.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin

Right Reverand,

I do declare that I am a wicked woman, with wicked ways...are you sure your church will accept me? I would be honored to use the name you have bestowed upon me, should I be welcomed in your fine establishment..

I do believe I am an angel of...mercy...

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Right Reverand,

I do declare that I am a wicked woman, with wicked ways...are you sure your church will accept me? I would be honored to use the name you have bestowed upon me, should I be welcomed in your fine establishment..

I do believe I am an angel of...mercy...

Oh, child, bless you. But it is not for me to welcome anyone into the church. After all, this latest scam, mission, is to create "The Church of the Sacred Female." Vella, she who was there in the beginning (of this thread), is our Earth Mother (unless she comes up with a different handle.)

It is you who honor we poor males by allowing us to sit and reverently ogle at your soulful shapes and pinch your beatific butts. At least until the Da Vinci Code fad has passed and we have to dream up something new.

There will, of course, be several denominations within the "mother church" for those with special, unrequited needs.

But combining porn with televangalism should be a sure fire way to keep Litstock green for years to come.

The Right Rev Rumple Foreskin

 

[cloudy]

I'm in.

I can help with the financial and accounting stuff, plus all the tax paperwork.

Knew that college ejacashun should come in handy.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I'm in.

I can help with the financial and accounting stuff, plus all the tax paperwork.

Knew that college ejacashun should come in handy.

Bless you, Cloudy. A sound mind in a sexy body in a terrible thing to waste.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin

ps: I'm glad the thread slowed down. Believe it or not, my bull shit supply is not unlimited. Wonder what the UK folks will do with this sucker, if anything? RRRF

 

[doormouse]

Is the job of resident cocksucker taken yet?

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Is the job of resident cocksucker taken yet?

I'm glad I made one last check before giving up for the night.

No, my child, that exaulted position is one reserved only for those who have a true calling. It has been waiting, unfullfilled, for someone just like thee, a pious person who feels called to take upon themselves the divine duty of being Litstock's, sacred slurper of schlongs.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin

 

[doormouse]

I'm glad I made one last check before giving up for the night.

No, my child, that exaulted position is one reserved only for those who have a true calling. It has been waiting, unfullfilled, for someone just like thee, a pious person who feels called to take upon themselves the divine duty of being Litstock's, sacred slurper of schlongs.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin

Why thank you kind Sir, Rev. RF.

I shall wear polishing pads on my knees as to shine floors whilst I dutifully fulfill my task.

 

[alyxen]

I don't so much want to 'work' per se....

I'll just be the official greeter!

Hello! Welcome to Wal....err Litopia! May I take your clothing and wallet for you?

 

[Belegon]

Give the money to Clouds so she can count it and then she'll give it in to my care...I will send it forth to be somewhat fruitful and multiply. I say somewhat fruitful because I am no day trader, I buy companies not stocks and properties not future developments. We may not make it hand over fist, but we'll make it to the fist and we won't lose much....and when the market closes I'll take my commissions over to Honey's place and work on revitalizing our own little economy...


oh, and I'll gladly coach the women's nude softball team for free....

 

[LadyJeanne]

I thought I'd check back and see how Utopia was coming along.

Sweat it not, CD. Lady Jeanne has volunteered to assuage your horticultural needs.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin

I wasn't thinking we'd need to landscape Utopia Isn't it like Hawaii - why landscape paradise? But, if you must have landscape, I'll need a few volunteers to move bushes around and stuff.

That's assuming there is anything to balance. I haven't seen how we're gonna support Utopia yet.

Grow hemp on our 1000 acres maybe?

I'm unclear on whether the weed economy was supplanted by the porn religion concept. If not, may I suggest the worshippers of Earth Mother Vella each grow some of her Sacred Plant as an offering. The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin might wish to fill the incense burners during special services as well.

 

[Guest]

i couldn't be more pleased with the proceedings of Litopia/Litstock. What a fabulous group of reverent people to share in one somewhat common dream.
RRRF...and LC make fab spiritual leaders and we couldn't be more thrilled with them in those rolls.
we currently have:
a meeter greeter...always in high demand. (alyxen)
a sacred slurper of schlongs(doormouse)
one nay-sayer... always have to have one in the bunch(vb)
two cash handlers(cloudy and mindy)
one hand holder(perdita)
one willing vestil pseudo virgin (honey)
a designer(evil alpaca)
a landscaper(lady jeanne)
networking guru's (dran & imp)
holy carpenters(cd & xelebes)
an industrial engineer(rg)
a party planner(carson)
an all around fucker (couture)
a money launderer(belegon)

things are shaping up so well.
remember that the secrets to Litopia/Litstock will be kept in the holy scriptures....we must enlist rhinoguy to implant those secrets into a drawing.

Phase I of Litstock is nearly in completion. next will be the expectations and implementations of rules. yes i know, no one likes rules but there has to be some order here:

what are some rules we need to have?
1) clothes are to be worn only when leaving the compound to preach.

please continue.

 

[doormouse]

a sacred slurper of schlongs(doormouse)

I'm a suck, I know.

But I aim to please

 

[Honey123]

Can I wear my Angel wings??

 

[carsonshepherd]

Phase I of Litstock is nearly in completion. next will be the expectations and implementations of rules. yes i know, no one likes rules but there has to be some order here:

what are some rules we need to have?
1) clothes are to be worn only when leaving the compound to preach.

please continue. [/B]

I know rules are necessary for an orderly society, but I highly doubt you could get all of us to follow one set of rules. Even the naked one; I don't like to be cold.

Instead of rules, how about "suggestions?"

 

[Honey123]

I know rules are necessary for an orderly society, but I highly doubt you could get all of us to follow one set of rules. Even the naked one; I don't like to be cold.

Instead of rules, how about "suggestions?"

I think that's a marvelous suggestion....(see it's working already! )

 

[TheEarl]

I'll help Dran out with the IT side of things, as well as being a pretty handy cook.

I also think there should be some kind of mixed rugby team, so that our little nation has a sporting culture (apart from the Lit Olympics). Baggsy playing Number 8 if Honey and Lou are playing lock!

(For those who don't know that much about my religion: There is a set play called a scrum, in which 8 players from each side join together in a particular formation to push against each other. This formation results in the Number 8 having his head between the arses of the two locks.

Lou Honey
. | | | |
. |4| |5|
. uuOuu
. -=| |=-
. |8|
TheEarl

The Earl

 

[Black Tulip]

I love to cook and I can do the planning.
Besides that I can be the counselor.
My services aren't cheap but boy, can I make you see the light!

 

[doormouse]

I know rules are necessary for an orderly society, but I highly doubt you could get all of us to follow one set of rules. Even the naked one; I don't like to be cold.

Instead of rules, how about "suggestions?"

A blow job in the morn'
(of course only) to keep you warm



resident cocksucker doormouse

 

[Guest]

Didn't see this thread until now. I've had this same hope too one day.

I can help with IT, and with the porn website logistics (it will be a huge moneymaker).

And I'll be happy to chair the New Female Membership Committee.

And, oh yeah, its a dirty job but someone has to do it, I'll muck out the Alpaca's stall, and gather the Goose and duck eggs.

 

[Guest]

(For those who don't know that much about my religion: There is a set play called a scrum, in which 8 players from each side join together in a particular formation to push against each other. This formation results in the Number 8 having his head between the arses of the two locks.

Lou Honey
. | | | |
. |4| |5|
. uuOuu
. -=| |=-
. |8|
TheEarl

Rumple totally ignored my early offer so I'd love to join the team, babe; best way to learn about the game, eh? (But you and I can't ever touch ).

Pear

 

[Evil Alpaca]

Didn't see this thread until now. I've had this same hope too one day.

I can help with IT, and with the porn website logistics (it will be a huge moneymaker).

And I'll be happy to chair the New Female Membership Committee.

And, oh yeah, its a dirty job but someone has to do it, I'll muck out the Alpaca's stall, and gather the Goose and duck eggs.

You're strangely obsessed with my muck . . . freak.

I just want to act as Angel Honey's personal . . . (ahem) . . . assistant!

And I wouldn't mind learning to play rugby.