Ms.Breaker
Breaker of Shadows!
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2005
- Posts
- 3,433
His lil secret said:
ohhh yesss. that kind of soreness is good.. yep. i'd be smiling too
He was in a romping good mood this morning and decided to share it with me
.~ a secret place ~
- Thread starter His lil secret
- Start date
He was in a romping good mood this morning and decided to share it with me
.
20smoke
Ubi fumus, ibi ignis
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2005
- Posts
- 1,452
Little Johnny was 12 years old and, like other boys his age, was rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about "courting" from older boys and he wondered what it was like and how it was done. One day he took his question to his mother who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, his mother told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, Johnny described everything to his mom. "Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for awhile then he turned off most of the lights. He then started hugging and kissing her. I figured Sis must be getting sick because her face started to look funny. He must have thought so too because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart just like the doctor would do. He was not as smart as a doctor because he seemed to be having trouble finding it. "I guess he was getting sick too because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been cold because he put it in her skirt. About this time Sis got worse and began to moan and groan and squirm around and slide down towards the end of the couch. This is when the fever started. "I knew it was the fever because Sis said she felt real hot. Finally I found out what was making them so sick. A big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest. Anyway, he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. "When Sis saw it, she got real scared, her eyes got big and her mouth fell open and started calling to God and stuff. She said it was the biggest one she ever saw...... I should have told her about the one down at the lake. "Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a sudden she made a noise and let the eel go. I guess it bit her back. Then she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while her boyfriend took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel`s head to keep it from biting again. "Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor lock on it and he helped by laying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess he wanted to kill it by squeezing it between them. "After a while they both quit moving and a great sigh came forth. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, the eel was dead. I knew it was dead because it just hung there limp with some of its insides hanging out. "Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle but they went on courting anyways. He started hugging and kissing her again. By golly the eel wasn`t dead after all. It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats with 9-lives. "This time Sis jumped up and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it. After 35 minutes of struggling, they finally killed it. I knew it was dead because I saw Sis`s boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet....."
His lil secret
His lil snugglefuck
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2004
- Posts
- 14,603
Happy tuesday everyone
* hugs * for those who need/want them.. and extra tight ones for my Daddy
nibble
* hugs * for those who need/want them.. and extra tight ones for my Daddy
nibble
BeachGurl2
Sarcastic Smart Sexyass
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2005
- Posts
- 4,919
Good morning, everyone. Hope your week is off to a great start. It's freezing here today. You'd think it would stay warmer in the desert. Guess we got spoiled with all that 70 degree weather through Christmas. Wish summer would hurry and get here!
{{{hugs}}} and
es to all.
{{{hugs}}} and
es to all.
Machiavellix
Return of the Mach
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2005
- Posts
- 5,245
BeachGurl2 said:Good morning, everyone. Hope your week is off to a great start. It's freezing here today. You'd think it would stay warmer in the desert. Guess we got spoiled with all that 70 degree weather through Christmas. Wish summer would hurry and get here!
{{{hugs}}} and
Shut up, we just got 4 or 5 in. of snow dumped on us last night. I'd trade Arizona winters for Wisconsin winters anyday.
Thank you for the hugs and kisses, though. They get me through my day.
BeachGurl2
Sarcastic Smart Sexyass
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2005
- Posts
- 4,919
No offense, but I'm glad it's you and not me in all that snow. I'm a summer girl. Hate winter.Machiavellix said:Shut up, we just got 4 or 5 in. of snow dumped on us last night. I'd trade Arizona winters for Wisconsin winters anyday.
Thank you for the hugs and kisses, though. They get me through my day.
You're quite welcome for the hugs and kisses - a few more for you, then.
{{{{{hugs}}}}}
Machiavellix
Return of the Mach
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2005
- Posts
- 5,245
BeachGurl2 said:No offense, but I'm glad it's you and not me in all that snow. I'm a summer girl. Hate winter.
You're quite welcome for the hugs and kisses - a few more for you, then.
Me, too. I hate winter as well. I swear my parents adopted me out of Florida or something.
You give me too many kisses, I may have to start returning them.
R
Raindear816
Guest
you stinker!20smoke said:I hate winter tooo... it only got up to 81 degrees here today...
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Yall it was so windy round here today and chilly too...in the 50s! BRRR!
iloveyouTim
(((((((((((((((((((((((hissy&herDaddy))))))))))))))))))))))
((((((((((((((weeblesissy)))))))))))))))
(((((((((friends)))))))))))
HUGS to all
R
Raindear816
Guest
Hey babyisuredoloveyou!
8more days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
R
Raindear816
Guest
nah-uh, not possible!Oh and btw,
(((((((((((((((Liza Sissy))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((((((BG
)))))))))))))))))))))))))(((((((((Ms.B )))))))))
20smoke
Ubi fumus, ibi ignis
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2005
- Posts
- 1,452
Little Johnny and Susie are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Susie's father to ask him for her hand.
Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Susie are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In Susie's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Susie."
Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance... Susie makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine."
By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to.
After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"
Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, we've been lucky so far..."
Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Susie are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In Susie's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Susie."
Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance... Susie makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine."
By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to.
After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"
Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, we've been lucky so far..."
Too cute, smoke!!
Been workin way too much and the hours really suck! Worst thing is knowing that they still haven't even TRIED to fill one of the four new positions yet... and vacations start in less than 6 weeks!! Talk about OT!! Will serve 'em right for taking so long to "debate" whether the positions are necessary!! *grumble, cuss, scream*
Hope all my sissys are doing good this first month of the year!! I'm driving slowly on treadless tires hoping not to hydroplane!! Wishin the 27th would hurry the heck up so I can have my tax return in my bank account!!
Ya'll take care!! Leaving hugs and kisses for all my sissys and the Daddys that love them!!
Been workin way too much and the hours really suck! Worst thing is knowing that they still haven't even TRIED to fill one of the four new positions yet... and vacations start in less than 6 weeks!! Talk about OT!! Will serve 'em right for taking so long to "debate" whether the positions are necessary!! *grumble, cuss, scream*
Hope all my sissys are doing good this first month of the year!! I'm driving slowly on treadless tires hoping not to hydroplane!! Wishin the 27th would hurry the heck up so I can have my tax return in my bank account!!
Ya'll take care!! Leaving hugs and kisses for all my sissys and the Daddys that love them!!
20smoke
Ubi fumus, ibi ignis
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2005
- Posts
- 1,452
Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.
A: Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.
Q: What's the mating call of the Auburn blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
Q: What is the mating call of the U of Alabama blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"
Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Q: Why do blondes where big hoop earrings?
A: To put their feet through.
Q: What's a brunette's mating call?
A: Has that blonde gone yet?
A2: When is that blonde bitch going to leave!?
A3: "All the blondes have gone home!"
Q: What do you say to a blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."
Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".
A: Nothing. They've never met.
A: Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.
Q: What's the mating call of the Auburn blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
Q: What is the mating call of the U of Alabama blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"
Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Q: Why do blondes where big hoop earrings?
A: To put their feet through.
Q: What's a brunette's mating call?
A: Has that blonde gone yet?
A2: When is that blonde bitch going to leave!?
A3: "All the blondes have gone home!"
Q: What do you say to a blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."
Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".
20smoke
Ubi fumus, ibi ignis
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2005
- Posts
- 1,452
A blonde executive was driving by a field one day when she saw a blonde rowing a boat in the middle of a dirt field. She drove over to her and said, "It's idiots like you that give blondes a bad name, and if I could swim I would come over there and kick your ass!"
BeachGurl2
Sarcastic Smart Sexyass
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2005
- Posts
- 4,919
Good morning, everyone. Hope everyone is having a great weekend.
{{{Liza}}} ~ will miss you while you're gone, sweetie. Hope everything settles down for you soon.
{{{Ash}}} ~ hope your daddy is doing well. Keeping you both in my prayers.
{{{Smoke}}} ~ you have WAY too much time on your hands.
{{{kitten}}} ~ hope all is going well your way, sweetie.
{{{Azul, Machi, Ms.B, Weeble, Pita, BabyDoll, Peach, kitten's Daddy, & anyone I've missed}}} and
{{{Liza}}} ~ will miss you while you're gone, sweetie. Hope everything settles down for you soon.
{{{Ash}}} ~ hope your daddy is doing well. Keeping you both in my prayers.
{{{Smoke}}} ~ you have WAY too much time on your hands.
{{{kitten}}} ~ hope all is going well your way, sweetie.
{{{Azul, Machi, Ms.B, Weeble, Pita, BabyDoll, Peach, kitten's Daddy, & anyone I've missed}}} and
20smoke
Ubi fumus, ibi ignis
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2005
- Posts
- 1,452
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
20smoke
Ubi fumus, ibi ignis
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2005
- Posts
- 1,452
A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in. The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away. The Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.
"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!" say the firemen to the Redhead. "Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead. "No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!" "OK," says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake. Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell, "Jump! You have to jump!"
"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde.
"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"
"Look," the Blonde says. "Nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it..."
"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!" say the firemen to the Redhead. "Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead. "No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!" "OK," says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake. Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell, "Jump! You have to jump!"
"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde.
"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"
"Look," the Blonde says. "Nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it..."
Ms.Breaker
Breaker of Shadows!
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2005
- Posts
- 3,433
20smoke said:
LMAO! And Raindeer's a what smoke?
