A story idea to run by y'all

[Tatewaki]

Re: Update!

Okay Megan And Julie, the other half, has been submitted! Hasn't been accepted quite yet, but just you wait! I'll have a link posted here in no time!

YIPEE!!! I DID IT!

Chicklet

Congrats, Chick. I'm always happy to see you produce! Now I just gotta wait until its posted.

-T

Cute AV, by the way!

 

[Chicklet]

hey Tate - Long time no see! Where ya been, buddy? Missed ya! <hugs>

Yeah, see everyone, I *DO* produce sometimes lol

 

[Tatewaki]

hey Tate - Long time no see! Where ya been, buddy? Missed ya! <hugs>

Yeah, see everyone, I *DO* produce sometimes lol

Been writing a lot. But I drop by to read the posts every now and again, have no fear.

-T

 

[Chicklet]

you going to post some of it on lit or is it all for $$$?

 

[thirstquencher]

This story is posted, and I think it turned out quite well, actually.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=54879

WOW, I was ready to comment on the story line until I saw the link. You handled it very well. Keep up the good work.

 

[penguindance]

 

[Chicklet]

Finally!

It's up and running! Of course, the first feedback I got pointed out a couple of errors where I referred to Julie as Megan, but I have fixed them and re-submitted it. The re-submission should be up eventually, but for now please forgive those three errors!

Read it, I like it, so will you!

Chicklet

Megan & Julie

 

[MyEros333]

Re: another non-erotic plot

not sure of the title but the plot summary is " waitress slaps fat middleaged married guy who grabs her ass"- I figure you can get 750 words by building it up like a standrad seduction- they arrive for dinner, he imagines he's attractive, he thinks her natural friendliness is flirting, he gradually gets bolder....

Dang...this sounds like one of my friends hehehe.

But seriously, yes the story could be done easily enough. It's not really my taste, besides it doesn't have a happy ending, but here's some advice on if you had to run with it:

Considering you have a target of 750 words or more, if you don't want to bore/lose the reader, you'll need to give it a bit of a hook. Since they can see this plot play out in a lot of movies, you need to give them an advantage that only writing truly has...internal POV.

He comes in, describe the place a little bit to set the visuals on it. Then have the guy turn into a real sleaze quickly. Show his thoughts and reactions to everything. And include some choice sleaze-oid thoughts like "She wants me...I KNOW she wants me. She wouldn't have looked at me if she didn't want me. She's only working as a waitress here to meet horny guys like me."

Because I don't agree with the subject/topic of the story, my best advice is to either make it a charicature story or else find some way to ham it up a little...

Rich
(Dang, I meant to put in two cents and left my wallet!)

 

[penguindance]

 

[MyEros333]

This wallet?

Dang...that's the one...thanks. What do you mean I have to earn it back? Ohhhhhhh...I see. Hmmm, well could you check to see if I left my dignity in there because I can't seem to find it anywhere.

hehehe Just teasin' ya.

Rich

 

[Chicklet]

Stranger, open it up, see what we got! Some dignity?! SUPER! Pass it over this way!

 

[MyEros333]

Wallet contents...

Stranger, open it up, see what we got! Some dignity?! SUPER! Pass it over this way!

Oh no, there goes my dignity. Well don't look in the back behind the bills, I left a few shreds of self-respect back there, too.

(Forehead SMACK!) Now what'd I go and tell you that for. Dang, it also seems I left my self-control in my other pair of pants. Speaking of which...has anybody seen my pants? I close my eyes for five minutes and someone robs me blind. hehehe

Rich
Hey, this is kinda fun.

 

[Chicklet]

hehe loads of fun = )

<self respect, dignity, some cold hard cash...this day is turning out well for chicklet>

 

[MyEros333]

Dang, kiss that cash goodbye...

hehe loads of fun = )

<self respect, dignity, some cold hard cash...this day is turning out well for chicklet>

Dang...well you may as well keep the cash as a finder's fee but I'm trying to earn that self-respect and dignity back. Hmmmmm...fortunately I stashed some self-confidence in my right shoe, all I need to do is reach down and...

HEY!!! WHO STOLE MY SHOES!?!?

Awright, 'fess up...

Rich

 

[Chicklet]

wasn't me

honest

 

[sirhugs]

and Chicklet is always honest

 

[MyEros333]

At least I found some inspiration to make up for the dignity...

wasn't me

honest

Allright... (Grin) I trust you, but I'll be watching you. (Mainly because I *SO* enjoy the view hehehe)

Have a good one,
Rich

 

[Svenskaflicka]

New joke from the Storyteller

Speaking of which...has anybody seen my pants? I close my eyes for five minutes and someone robs me blind.

As I so often say... That reminds me of a joke.

A woman calls her doctor.
-Excuse me, doctor, have I forgotten my panties in your examining room?
The doctor sends a nurse to look for the panties, but no luck.
-I'm sorry, miss, they're not here.
-Oh, allright. *Sigh* I must have left them at the dentist's, then...

 

[MyEros333]

Re: New joke from the Storyteller

As I so often say... That reminds me of a joke.

A woman calls her doctor.
-Excuse me, doctor, have I forgotten my panties in your examining room?
The doctor sends a nurse to look for the panties, but no luck.
-I'm sorry, miss, they're not here.
-Oh, allright. *Sigh* I must have left them at the dentist's, then...

hahahaha! Oh wow...that was good...

That's OK, I think I've found my pants. I must say I'm a little disappointed that no one took advantage. Just teasing... hehehe

Rich

 

[penguindance]

 

[Chicklet]

and Chicklet is always honest

damn straight!

 

[sirhugs]

damn straight!

and here I thought you are a heavenly bisexual

 

[Chicklet]