"Accidental" sex ideas

[Husky_Embrace]

You know the story. The parents walk in, and there's no excuse for what you're doing with their daughter. "I slipped and fell cock first into her" just doesn't appease them.

That does beg the question. What would be the most likely ideas where a freak accident can lead to a sexual position? They are all unlikely, but there must be some where you'll go: "yeah okay. I could see that happen."

 

[TheWritingGroup]

The only one that really makes sense to me is "Actors who were supposed to fake sex, but ...."

 

[TheWritingGroup]

I guess I can also buy the mistaken identity thing, where the lights go on and it's Jacob, not Howard, that you're in bed with. It only works if it's a new (newish) partner, IMO.

And you have to explain to Howard that you thought it was him, while Jacob either laughs (if he knew what was happening and is evil) or prepares to run away from his girlfriend Felicia, who is ready to murder him.

--Annie

 

[Carnevil9]

"She wasn't breathing so I was giving her mouth-to-mouth!"

"I was showing her some wrestling positions I learned in high school."

"She thought I was a burglar so she took me down and got me in a scissor lock."

"She was choking on something, but my finger wasn't long enough to reach it."

 

[Statius]

No stuck in the dryer? That's not realistic? No I slipped and fell face first into their lap? Huh. The porn industry has been lying to me and I find that very upsetting.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

No stuck in the dryer? That's not realistic?

Stuck in a dryer is not "accidental". It's forced sex.

 

[LupusDei]

The few such incidents I have seen done with some success of (strained) believability occurred outdoors, with a girl in high place she needs help with getting off from -- be it three branch, fence post or cliff overhang, or some such she's standing on or hanging from -- and the guy catch her jump with one more unintentional point of support. Really only works for nudists as any minimal clothing would almost certainly prevent such outcome...

 

[Cultivateddesires]

Assisting a lovey lady to hike down a slippery waterfall path could easily end up with both parties slipping into an unintentionally intimate position. Damn those algae covered rocks.

Admittedly, not directly into fucking but close enough to make them both think of the possibility.

 

[Carnevil9]

Assisting a lovey lady to hike down a slippery waterfall path could easily end up with both parties slipping into an unintentionally intimate position. Damn those algae covered rocks.

Admittedly, not directly into fucking but close enough to make them both think of the possibility.

Reminds me of that scene in Romancing the Stone where they slide down the hillside and he lands with his face in her crotch.

 

[NuclearFairy]

@ChloeOfCascadia Good story, looks like it's long enough for a submission, might want to save that and submit it though instead of posting it here.

 

[ChloeOfCascadia]

@ChloeOfCascadia Good story, looks like it's long enough for a submission, might want to save that and submit it though instead of posting it here.

It is mostly a joke, so I don't want to kill anyone's boners or dry up anyone's pussies out there.

I am hoping it makes people laugh.

There is enough eroticism in there that someone may legitimately enjoy the scenario. but it really should only be categorized as humor I think.

 

[NuclearFairy]

It is mostly a joke, so I don't want to kill anyone's boners or dry up anyone's pussies out there.

I am hoping it makes people laugh.

There is enough eroticism in there that someone may legitimately enjoy the scenario. but it really should only be categorized as humor I think.

There is a humor section. Go on, save it and submit it. It'll be worth the effort.

Also, the mod's probably going to come in and chop it down if you don't save it elsewhere.

 

[ChloeOfCascadia]

It may be chopped then. I will save it to my computer but without the setup of the joke, being this thread premise, I don't think it works as well.

If it gets deleted by a mod then *shrug* some people don't like fun I guess.

Or maybe they feel their taste is better than mine. Who can argue with that?

 

[ChloeOfCascadia]

Saved.

 

[Statius]

It may be chopped then. I will save it to my computer but without the setup of the joke, being this thread premise, I don't think it works as well.

If it gets deleted by a mod then *shrug* some people don't like fun I guess.

Or maybe they feel their taste is better than mine. Who can argue with that?

As is always the case with porn it's about length, not taste

 

[bestkeptsecret678]

You know the story. The parents walk in, and there's no excuse for what you're doing with their daughter. "I slipped and fell cock first into her" just doesn't appease them.

That does beg the question. What would be the most likely ideas where a freak accident can lead to a sexual position? They are all unlikely, but there must be some where you'll go: "yeah okay. I could see that happen."

Doctors office, female urologist:

She’s Prepping me for my vasectomy (which causes unintended arousal) then she slips and falls face first onto my erection.

 

[KindredFlame]

I don’t think there is such a thing as accidental sex. There could be an accidental meeting that leads to sex or heavy petting that leads to full on sex, or even getting smashed out of your brain and ending up fucking, or there is rape. Non of these are accidental sex.

 

[sirhugs]

It may be chopped then. I will save it to my computer but without the setup of the joke, being this thread premise, I don't think it works as well.

If it gets deleted by a mod then *shrug* some people don't like fun I guess.

Or maybe they feel their taste is better than mine. Who can argue with that?

we have rules... try reading them

 

[TheWritingGroup]

There's an actual reason, whether you agree or not, @ChloeOfCascadia.

If they allow full stories to be posted here, it's a way to ignore Laurel's moderation and just post any story without review.

--Annie

 

[ChloeOfCascadia]

There's an actual reason, whether you agree or not, @ChloeOfCascadia.

If they allow full stories to be posted here, it's a way to ignore Laurel's moderation and just post any story without review.

--Annie

It's fine. I'm new, whatever the rules are, feel free to enforce. I learned by making a mistake. I saved the story. The story has no purpose other than a joke and the joke doesn't work as a standalone story.

No one needs to explain it to me further. It's done.

 

[KindredFlame]

It's fine. I'm new, whatever the rules are, feel free to enforce. I learned by making a mistake. I saved the story. The story has no purpose other than a joke and the joke doesn't work as a standalone story.

No one needs to explain it to me further. It's done.

The rule is that whole story is not to be posted. You can get away with three paragraphs four if you push it to give an idea of the story.

 

[ChloeOfCascadia]

The rule is that whole story is not to be posted. You can get away with three paragraphs four if you push it to give an idea of the story.

Mmmhm, yeah in this case it utterly ruins the joke.

No worries I had fun writing it, a couple people found it funny, it's gone now. It has no place as a stand alone story, wouldn't make sense, and it ruins the joke to cut it into pieces.

Poof bye story, no worries.

 

[MikeXIrons]

There’s the crowded elevator or subway where people keep crowding in, pressing two people together until he is [un]intentionally dryhumping her against the wall.

Porn shows lots of sleepwalking accidents… though, in that case it’s only accidental for one of them.

There’s always sleeping in the same bed because <innocent reasons>, and waking up spooning with a hand on her tits and a hardon between her ass cheeks and/or her hand around his cock.

There’s a burglar that breaks in (to the dorm?). A guy is awakened by his friend’s girlfriend (who was sleeping in the next room without the friend for some reason). She says “There’s someone in the house!”. He hops out of bed and they hide together in the (small) closet… naked or nearly naked because they were just sleeping. She holds him tight fearfully (and because there’s no room to do otherwise). At some point she says, “Do you think he’s gone? Are we safe?” “No… we better stay here a while longer” (enjoying the feel of his hardon rubbing against her dripping web pussy lips). “OK. Let me know when you think it’s safe, but, I’m too scared to go back to sleep alone, so I’m staying in your bed tonight.” “I think it’s safe now."

So… I guess those are mostly accidental foreplay… accidental sex is hard to do believably.

How about… burglars rob a bank. They tell all the staff and customers to strip naked. They tie them up, tying them together so they can’t run or walk. A man finds himself tied face-to-face to a beautiful woman. He whispers embarrassed apologies in her ear as his hardon starts to grow. Because they are tied together he can’t stop it from growing right into her pussy. “I’m so sorry. I can’t help it. I swear, I’m trying to think of baseball stats! Shit, it’s right there isn’t it? I don’t think it’s going to go in though, unless you’re wet. Oh shit… it’s sliding right in, isn't it."

 

[bestkeptsecret678]

There’s the crowded elevator or subway where people keep crowding in, pressing two people together until he is [un]intentionally dryhumping her against the wall.

Porn shows lots of sleepwalking accidents… though, in that case it’s only accidental for one of them.

There’s always sleeping in the same bed because <innocent reasons>, and waking up spooning with a hand on her tits and a hardon between her ass cheeks and/or her hand around his cock.

There’s a burglar that breaks in (to the dorm?). A guy is awakened by his friend’s girlfriend (who was sleeping in the next room without the friend for some reason). She says “There’s someone in the house!”. He hops out of bed and they hide together in the (small) closet… naked or nearly naked because they were just sleeping. She holds him tight fearfully (and because there’s no room to do otherwise). At some point she says, “Do you think he’s gone? Are we safe?” “No… we better stay here a while longer” (enjoying the feel of his hardon rubbing against her dripping web pussy lips). “OK. Let me know when you think it’s safe, but, I’m too scared to go back to sleep alone, so I’m staying in your bed tonight.” “I think it’s safe now."

So… I guess those are mostly accidental foreplay… accidental sex is hard to do believably.

How about… burglars rob a bank. They tell all the staff and customers to strip naked. They tie them up, tying them together so they can’t run or walk. A man finds himself tied face-to-face to a beautiful woman. He whispers embarrassed apologies in her ear as his hardon starts to grow. Because they are tied together he can’t stop it from growing right into her pussy. “I’m so sorry. I can’t help it. I swear, I’m trying to think of baseball stats! Shit, it’s right there isn’t it? I don’t think it’s going to go in though, unless you’re wet. Oh shit… it’s sliding right in, isn't it."

Brilliant! i could see these repurposed as a soft core screenplays, then strung together to make a parody/comedy montage. Call it, Accidents Happen.

 

[KindredFlame]

Mmmhm, yeah in this case it utterly ruins the joke.

No worries I had fun writing it, a couple people found it funny, it's gone now. It has no place as a stand alone story, wouldn't make sense, and it ruins the joke to cut it into pieces.

Poof bye story, no worries.

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