Advice for a new user

[MelissaBaby]

Well... there went the coffee... all over the f'n computer screen. (MB, you're gonna make me ask this, ain't cha?) Does this have anything to do with her hitting the high notes?

There is a persistent urban legend that Stevie enjoyed having cook blown up her ass with a straw. Whether it's true or not, who knows. Of course, Stevie could afford really high quality goods, that might make a difference. The problem isn't the coke, it's what it's cut with.

 

[MelissaBaby]

I'm a big fan of garlic, and I have to say I'm intrigued.

Coke in the butt -- no. No coke, no gerbils.

I hadn't heard about garlic before. I have heard of people using ginger. I'm not trying that either.

 

[SimonDoom]

There is a persistent urban legend that Stevie enjoyed having cook blown up her ass with a straw. Whether it's true or not, who knows. Of course, Stevie could afford really high quality goods, that might make a difference. The problem isn't the coke, it's what it's cut with.

One more day on Literotica, one more thing I didn't know before.

 

[holliday1960]

One more day on Literotica, one more thing I didn't know before.

@ MB and Simon: Simon, you gotta get out more. But trust me on this... you DON'T wanna go there with the garlic in the vag thing. (The lady in question would be using the garlic to combat an infection... so whatever you do... refrain from your urges, please?) As for the ginger... I'm not even gonna go there. Google it, Simon. It's called 'Figging'. Gerbils? Really, Simon? You just had to throw that out there, didn't you? (My two little hamsters are looking at me like, "What's he talkin' about, Mom?") You're such a perv!

MB, one of these days, we gotta talk.

 

[Hypoxia]

Hey, good evening. I'm brand new to this site and was wondering if any authors had any advice for a new erotica writer?

Don't put garlic or gerbils up your butt, apparently. Stick to cigars.

 

[CuteSlaveLisa]

British doctors have been complaining recently that there has been an increase in women putting garlic bulbs in their vaginas, causing irritation and infections...

Everything is not chocolate and peanut butter. There can be two great tastes that don't belong together.

Love and Kisses

Lisa Ann

 

[ChasingAnna]

Don't put garlic or gerbils up your butt, apparently. Stick to cigars.

Or sharpies?

 

[NotWise]

Or sharpies?

That's a lot of butts, and a lot of sharpies.

 

[TxRad]

That's a lot of butts, and a lot of sharpies.

I've wondered how you sharpened a Sharpie. Now I know far more than I really wanted to know.

 

[Handley_Page]

@ MB and Simon: Simon, you gotta get out more. But trust me on this... you DON'T wanna go there with the garlic in the vag thing. (The lady in question would be using the garlic to combat an infection... so whatever you do... refrain from your urges, please?) As for the ginger... I'm not even gonna go there. Google it, Simon. It's called 'Figging'.
Gerbils? Really, Simon? You just had to throw that out there, didn't you? (My two little hamsters are looking at me like, "What's he talkin' about, Mom?") You're such a perv!

MB, one of these days, we gotta talk.

I take it you may not have heard this one?

 

[PennameWombat]

LIT authors may not describe underage humans (seeming or being under 18 physically) having sex -- but their underage sex can be reported. Tell, don't show. "She was a wild child, fucked too young, a mom at 15," passes. "His prime teenage prick penetrated her barely-pubescent pussy," doesn't. I've written of underagers sneaking to a back room but said nothing of what happened there. And don't have anyone THINK of boffing a teenybopper. Thinking is sexual activity here.
<snip>

I have a story that passed muster where the two main characters, male and female college students, have a scene where they discuss the girl's sexual awakening. She explicitly tells the guy that if he'd met her when she was 14 he'd have definitely gone after her ass because "my ass developed early" (anal sex is, um, a mutually favored activity in the stories...) She also implies she had under-18 sex before they ever met but no details are given.

The upshot being they conclude he'd now be serving a 15 year prison sentence because he probably would've had sex with her when she was 14 (he'd have been 17) even though she'd have been willing.

As a note, at the time of the story, he's a college junior and she's an incoming freshman (implied 21 and 18), made clear because she looks him up when she's "in town for freshman orientation."

These two had met on spring break a few months earlier which is only discussed by them as having happened, not part of the narrative, and she explains to some of his friends when she meets them "me and my best friend had decided that since our 18th birthdays were a couple of months before the trip we were going to find a hot guy and do him together as our present to each other." This is the only direct mention of an age, but it fit the plot flow and since she's uninhibited it fit her to say this.

Yes, you have to be careful but it just means you have to think through how to convey things.

I also have stories where thirty/forty-somethings never mention or discuss their ages, because in the narratives it's clear they're established professionals in their careers, been divorced, lost a child and husband in a car crash, other such clear indicators of age... I didn't see any reason for them to say "hi, I'm 35 years old!"

 

[Hypoxia]

...I also have stories where thirty/forty-somethings never mention or discuss their ages, because in the narratives it's clear they're established professionals in their careers, been divorced, lost a child and husband in a car crash, other such clear indicators of age... I didn't see any reason for them to say "hi, I'm 35 years old!"

Quite. The corporate execs, lounge lizards, suburban parents, MILFs and GILFs in my stories don't tend toward teenybopperdom. This ain't Bugsy Malone.

 

[PennameWombat]

I hadn't heard about garlic before. I have heard of people using ginger. I'm not trying that either.

I think it was some person who claimed to be a doctor was posting on Twitter at least with this whole "put garlic in your vagina for yeast infections." (I saw a mention she's associated with Dr. Oz, but I did not verify that.) I don't know if it started there or not, that's where I saw it. My wife was, um, not impressed with the claims.

I follow an OB/GYN on Twitter and she and apparently every other real OB/GYN who is on there flooded Twitter with "do NOT do that!!!" (The OB/GYN I follow retweeted many of the others.)

The original poster doubled down for a while, "uh uh, it is a good idea."

That was when I muted the thread.

 

[CuteSlaveLisa]

I take it you may not have heard this one?

"Well," grandma said, as a silly smile appeared upon her face, "all I can say is that in forty-two years of, at times very intense, play neither I, nor any of my playmates, has ever required the professional services of a doctor or a hospital."

Love and Kisses

Lisa Ann

 

[jehoram]

At the risk of actually putting this thread back on track, may I add that you shouldn't get too concerned with comments or scores. Yeah, it's nice to get praise, and that red "H" now and then is a big ego-boost, but don't be discouraged about the occasional low score or troll. They're just part of the scenery around here.

The real issue is whether you're enjoying what you write and publish, and whether your skill improves with experience. Most of all, as a friend of mine posted once, you'll be giving people who like to read what you like to write a chance to share your experience, and expanding your own sexual imagination a little at a time.