Advice to men- How to form online friendships

[Penuche]

How much does it cost to see your good side?

Get a personality transplant and then we'll see.

 

[Penuche]

<snip> Be polite, be interesting.

^ This, a thousand times. ^

Also, please bear in mind that what you look like isn't going to get my attention before the rest of you does.

Being able to visualise you can be useful for RP, but you won't get there unless you stop boring me to tears first.

BTW keep an eye on time zone differences; you might be wide awake when the litser you contact is shattered, or vice versa.

 

[barefootgirl69]

But not everybody is such a sweetie like you.

These are the type of words that will get your PM answered.

I say we institute GB law (somewhat akin to martial law) and make him prove it.

And I'm fine with penis pics...when they're requested. I don't want it all in my face without an invitation (a lot like real life).

I don't know. He looks like a bit of rebel. I think telling him to follow the law might only cause him to laugh.

 

[pfflyerhot]

I say we institute GB law (somewhat akin to martial law) and make him prove it.

And I'm fine with penis pics...when they're requested. I don't want it all in my face without an invitation (a lot like real life).

I was thisclose to responding with a... "Yeah, let's see it, then"...

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Get a personality transplant and then we'll see.

I have a female friend I met in 2001. My first interaction with her was, GO FUCK YOURSELF. Fifteen years later she says I'm the love of her life tho we're married to other people. She wanted THE REAL DEAL and I'm it.

So, what makes you worth the candle? What's in it for anyone?

I suspect youre a member of the LIT Wallflower Club, like the others here.

 

[suckonsimon]

Hey, girls, this is all very kind of you! Thank you!
I confess that my thank you is on behalf of the men in general. What I'm thinking is, some of us need it more than others.

There's been a suggestion on the thread about the 'quality', shall we say, of the Litster women. Let me say this. You fine, fun, real-life, sensually charged, engaging women are a real pleasure to exchange with. Much of my participation on Lit is with men about male aspects of this adventure of sex. But all that is so delightfully enriched by the mixed company of this community, and the often delicious posts from the gals. We need to get together for a make-out day free for all!

 

[box13]

And of course, your mileage will probably vary. And loss is always hard to explain, more difficult to understand.

"Everybody leaves, sooner or later." -- Kings-X

 

[box13]

So, what makes you worth the candle? What's in it for anyone?

When the question becomes the answer.

 

[Chris_Michael]

Use proper spelling, writing, and grammar. We're on a site that focuses on arousing with words. Intelligent is crazy sexy.

Exactly.

Read profiles and posts. See people's taste snd only write when you match it. Don't expect to be an exception to what attracts someone just because you are attracted to them.

Use proper spelling, writing, and grammar. We're on a site that focuses on arousing with words. Intelligent is crazy sexy.

Don't demand or guilt. Needy isn't sexy. Ask people what they want or are willing to give.

I'll have occasional cyber flings with people who catch me when I'm horny and fascinate me, but if you want to be a long term friend share who you really are in and out of the bedroom.

Careful on the cut and paste and saying the same thing to multiple women, this red headed French/Irish American chick noticed when you call me a sexy Indian

Don't take busy now to mean not interested. Most of us ladies struggle to keep our boxes open because of the volume of mail. I don't always quickly respond to messages that interest me. It's ok to follow up politely.

...but you need to follow your own advice.

 

[cookiecat]

I'm always curious about the PM's I get from guys who've been here for 10 years with 0 posts. That's a lot of work to troll through profiles, send messages and hope for a reply.

 

[Penuche]

<snip> I suspect youre a member of the LIT Wallflower Club, like the others here.

*Splutters tea over the laptop's keyboard*

Was that the best you could do? I've wiped the floor with more difficult than you before my first mug of tea in the morning. BTW your assumptions are several miles out.

As for why I think I'd be worth bothering with, ask those I've PMed a few times (and vice versa). No, you don't get their names.

Having said which, before posting a personal, asking oneself "what makes you think you're worth the candle?" is likely to result in something which will stand out from the rest.

 

[Freebird49]

Good advice

Read profiles and posts. See people's taste snd only write when you match it. Don't expect to be an exception to what attracts someone just because you are attracted to them.

Use proper spelling, writing, and grammar. We're on a site that focuses on arousing with words. Intelligent is crazy sexy.

Don't demand or guilt. Needy isn't sexy. Ask people what they want or are willing to give.

I'll have occasional cyber flings with people who catch me when I'm horny and fascinate me, but if you want to be a long term friend share who you really are in and out of the bedroom.

Careful on the cut and paste and saying the same thing to multiple women, this red headed French/Irish American chick noticed when you call me a sexy Indian

Don't take busy now to mean not interested. Most of us ladies struggle to keep our boxes open because of the volume of mail. I don't always quickly respond to messages that interest me. It's ok to follow up politely.

I always look at a woman's Lit profile before contacting her. If she has qualifiers then I respect that. Very few men or women here speak in full stnetences. Tweetspeak is a turn-off for me. The one thing that really gets to me are blank profiles. No information at all. If it's a woman (I think) then I don't respond to a blank profile.

 

[BalticBeauty]

proper writing

Very few men or women here speak in full stnetences. Tweetspeak is a turn-off for me. <...> If it's a woman (I think) then I don't respond to a blank profile.

So true. Filling out profile and writing properly, with meaning is a thing of respect for forum-mates. I, for example, happen to get very positive feedback about my profile from men&women, without trying very hard to make it attractive, just being myself.

Use proper spelling, writing, and grammar. We're on a site that focuses on arousing with words. Intelligent is crazy sexy. <...>
Don't take busy now to mean not interested. Most of us ladies struggle to keep our boxes open because of the volume of mail. I don't always quickly respond to messages that interest me. It's ok to follow up politely.

Agree. Maintaining proper speech and writing, in that way respecting a language and its speakers is what I like much in people. That's subjective. On the other hand, it is a requirement for getting well with others in any community - like a neat outfit and good manners. Instead those two, what we say presents us here. That's objective. So let's make effort for positive impression.
P.S. Regarding all this, what do you think about users and posts like http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=78049976#post78049976 ? I would expect at least some indignation, but no, unfortunately rudeness lives in the forum.

 

[iamincognito45]

*Disclaimer* This is a slightly tuned post of mine in another similar thread with a similar topic...

If I may, I'd like to offer my own unsolicited advice...

Much of what I have to say has been echoed by many here.

Guys, the good news is, it really is a very low bar here on Lit. The women of Lit are inundated with countless unsolicited requests for pics and cyber to the point it's a wonder any of them stay. Thank goodness so many wonderful ladies do. You really don't have to do much to stand out from the 'crowd' of unimaginative pigs that pervade the threads.

Trust me when I say, I have sent countless unsolicited PMs over the years. And I have almost always not only received a response, but received a very nice and warm reply. And you know what else? It's incredibly easy. But you have to do more than send a non offensive PM. If all you have as an opening is "How are you tonight?" you are likely to get nothing more than a "Fine" response. If a response at all. You have to engage them in conversation and encourage them to keep up the discussion as things progress to more than one simple PM exchange.

Just be marginally aware of who they are (reading profiles will do wonders), what is going on in the threads and follow a few posts. Sending a PM to someone and referencing something in their profile or a post they made at least helps them know you are paying attention. And it gets the conversation started. You will be surprised how willing these wonderful ladies are to interact with you. If you simply come across as being observant and willing to engage in a simple exchange. A little civility will do wonders for you around here!

Speaking of profiles, be sure to have one of your own. The more information you include, the more it will help the women know something about those with whom they are interacting. And be honest but prepared. If you all you talk about in your profile is how big your cock is, how experienced you are as a Dom and bragging of your conquests, you're not likely to get much in the way of a response.

Same with posts. Have some. Post in the threads your subject posts in. Even better (read - more points for you) if you interact her with or respond to one of her posts. I guarantee the first two things she will do in response to an unsolicited PM is check your profile and take a look at your last dozen or so posts.

If all you want is a visual or auditory stimulus to jack off, there are plenty of easy, free sites to find it. Presumably if you are here, you want at least some minimal, slightly more personal interaction. The point here on Lit is the women of Lit are a vast and diverse resource of fantastic and erotic messages. Following the simple tips above have led me to some of the most volcanic exchanges imaginable. As others have said, the ladies of Lit are just as horny as you are. And just as interested in sexy exchanges including everything from PMs to pics to audio to chat to voice to even meeting. But they almost universally want and need some kind of connection before they will open themselves and their own intimate desires and dark fantasies.

Good luck!

D

 

[NOIRTRASH]

*Splutters tea over the laptop's keyboard*

Was that the best you could do? I've wiped the floor with more difficult than you before my first mug of tea in the morning. BTW your assumptions are several miles out.

As for why I think I'd be worth bothering with, ask those I've PMed a few times (and vice versa). No, you don't get their names.

Having said which, before posting a personal, asking oneself "what makes you think you're worth the candle?" is likely to result in something which will stand out from the rest.

I spent some time in Germany but never returned. My people were Austrian, which is top shelf German, unlike the econo Germans of Prussia.

 

[Penuche]

I spent some time in Germany but never returned. My people were Austrian, which is top shelf German, unlike the econo Germans of Prussia.

Na und?

I've been to Germany a few times now but never Austria, which has a reputation for being quite a bit more rightwing and just a tad behind the times.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Na und?

I've been to Germany a few times now but never Austria, which has a reputation for being quite a bit more rightwing and just a tad behind the times.

In Germany people shout EIN BANH STRASSE!!!! at you constantly. Prolly offering their daughters, likely.

Austrians have different names, too. My people were Hottow, Zorn, Greiner, Tschudy...no Braun or Schmidt or Schultz. I suspect we invented fascist but I cant prove it.

 

[Eilan]

read her bio at a bare minimum. If it's a defensive, negative tirade with a list of demands on how you must proceed to win her approval, then my suggestion is take her advice and giver her a wide berth.

Perhaps some women list such demands on purpose. People come to Lit for different reasons, and finding a chat/cyber partner isn't necessarily one of them.

 

[BalticBeauty]

do several last posts make some sub-topic?

or do I miss smth?
I still hope to talk about being rude and talking hate on the forum. Looking fwd to an adequate feedback on this:

P.S. Regarding all this, what do you think about users and posts like http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=78049976#post78049976 ? I would expect at least some indignation, but no, unfortunately rudeness lives in the forum.

 

[BCJ4]

or do I miss smth?
I still hope to talk about being rude and talking hate on the forum. Looking fwd to an adequate feedback on this:

All I can say is that some people are rude online and there is not much you can do besides put them on ignore. The poster you are referring to I believe invaded a fun and lighthearted thread Fermina_Daza and myself both posted on and proceeded to go on a tirade. Most likely he was drunk according to the replies of those that know him better.

Don't believe Fermina_Daza, she LOVES cockatars and dick pics in her Inbox.

*running and hiding now cause she is going to lose her shit if she starts getting dick pics*

 

[LittleSister27]

*Disclaimer* This is a slightly tuned post of mine in another similar thread with a similar topic...

If I may, I'd like to offer my own unsolicited advice...

Much of what I have to say has been echoed by many here.

Guys, the good news is, it really is a very low bar here on Lit. The women of Lit are inundated with countless unsolicited requests for pics and cyber to the point it's a wonder any of them stay. Thank goodness so many wonderful ladies do. You really don't have to do much to stand out from the 'crowd' of unimaginative pigs that pervade the threads.

Trust me when I say, I have sent countless unsolicited PMs over the years. And I have almost always not only received a response, but received a very nice and warm reply. And you know what else? It's incredibly easy. But you have to do more than send a non offensive PM. If all you have as an opening is "How are you tonight?" you are likely to get nothing more than a "Fine" response. If a response at all. You have to engage them in conversation and encourage them to keep up the discussion as things progress to more than one simple PM exchange.

Just be marginally aware of who they are (reading profiles will do wonders), what is going on in the threads and follow a few posts. Sending a PM to someone and referencing something in their profile or a post they made at least helps them know you are paying attention. And it gets the conversation started. You will be surprised how willing these wonderful ladies are to interact with you. If you simply come across as being observant and willing to engage in a simple exchange. A little civility will do wonders for you around here!

Speaking of profiles, be sure to have one of your own. The more information you include, the more it will help the women know something about those with whom they are interacting. And be honest but prepared. If you all you talk about in your profile is how big your cock is, how experienced you are as a Dom and bragging of your conquests, you're not likely to get much in the way of a response.

Same with posts. Have some. Post in the threads your subject posts in. Even better (read - more points for you) if you interact her with or respond to one of her posts. I guarantee the first two things she will do in response to an unsolicited PM is check your profile and take a look at your last dozen or so posts.

If all you want is a visual or auditory stimulus to jack off, there are plenty of easy, free sites to find it. Presumably if you are here, you want at least some minimal, slightly more personal interaction. The point here on Lit is the women of Lit are a vast and diverse resource of fantastic and erotic messages. Following the simple tips above have led me to some of the most volcanic exchanges imaginable. As others have said, the ladies of Lit are just as horny as you are. And just as interested in sexy exchanges including everything from PMs to pics to audio to chat to voice to even meeting. But they almost universally want and need some kind of connection before they will open themselves and their own intimate desires and dark fantasies.

Good luck!

D

This right here. I can't tell you how many messages I get with offensive questions right off the bat and that's not the way to get a woman's attention or reply. When you can make me laugh or ask why I said what I did on a post then you're more than likely to get a reply.

Remember, intellectually stimulating a woman is just as important if not more so then sexually.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I'll say it again, most LIT wimmin are guys, and the real gals aint choosy.

 

[NextDoorSecret]

This right here. I can't tell you how many messages I get with offensive questions right off the bat and that's not the way to get a woman's attention or reply. When you can make me laugh or ask why I said what I did on a post then you're more than likely to get a reply.

Remember, intellectually stimulating a woman is just as important if not more so then sexually.

I'm frequently stunned by the offensive questions that I'm asked. I'm on a board for erotica and yes, porn, but that doesn't mean I want to be treated like crap.
The ones that piss me off (and there are very few that have truly upset me) are the ones that seem to go out of their way to try and be offensive and degrading instantly.
One from today "Your tits are fabulous but they'd look better with my cock between them"
From a poster I've never interacted with;
Their stats: 0 posts, no profile, and they've been a member since 2008.

 

[BnB_Wolf]

There are females, like me, who choose not to put much information in their profile, so you will have to rely on my posts to see what interests me, or my point of views.

Likewise, I tend to answer messages even if a man's bio isn't filled out. It's nice if it is, but it isn't a requirement. I may simply discourage you, or say I'm not interested. I will look at posts (usually, but not always). Some of the most interesting conversations I've had have been with what is termed "a lurker".

That being said, if your bio or your first message is humorous, there is a likely chance I will write back. I try to do so regularly, but I am behind at the moment.

I will also add this. If I see you in a thread and you interest me, and I check your profile, if it makes me laugh or seems interesting, I will be the one contacting you to say hello. That doesn't mean I am offering myself to you, it simply means I am friendly and I love to laugh. It matters not if you are married or not, or where you are, or what your age is... this isn't match.com.

Yeah, yeah, I know, a little late to the party, but what else is new...BTW, if one judges against the number of posts you have, doesn't everybody qualify as a lurker relatively speaking

And what do you mean this isn't match.com :O

 

[barefootgirl69]

Yeah, yeah, I know, a little late to the party, but what else is new...BTW, if one judges against the number of posts you have, doesn't everybody qualify as a lurker relatively speaking

And what do you mean this isn't match.com :O

My favorite lurker! Those posts are up so I don't have to answer messages, thank you! I can traipse across the threads and flit and flirt and go home again at the end of the day. You know me.

Are you still looking for a date to the prom? You might want to list an ad in the personals...