all of a sudden passion suddenly

[todski28]

I worry boy

once we were warriors filled
with fierce pride
Those dull thuds of fist on chest
shake with the need to bleed
or make bleed
We were men that knew the language of fists

We were men that knew the language of love
toward our family
that knew how to protect and nurture
our hard curbed by their soft

But we lost our way
warped by booze and bruises
all that violence turned inward
directing hate at ourselves
and letting it spill over our loved ones
where pride died and became
a curse word and the cheap piss
and beer breathe was all that was left
to hide the death of the lives we held
sacrosanct

Years of wandering this tortured path
beaten men that spoke with violence
love was deemed weak
and was rushed beneath our feet
like a childs sandcastle
or a lovers face

It turned boy and somehow
that cycle broke
I remember such terrible things
watching your grandmothers blood
bleed with mine as she sheltered me
with her limp body to try to stop the blows

I rember the hate, the anger and how when i got bigger
it would never happen again
i walked my own path of violent destruction
made it through the perilous paths
arrived a man with pride in his eyes

I see you boy
the way you lash out
the way you strike out with all your might
the way you seem to revel in your strength
And I worry for you

 

[Piscator]

I worry boy

once we were warriors filled
with fierce pride
Those dull thuds of fist on chest
shake with the need to bleed
or make bleed
We were men that knew the language of fists

We were men that knew the language of love
toward our family
that knew how to protect and nurture
our hard curbed by their soft

But we lost our way
warped by booze and bruises
all that violence turned inward
directing hate at ourselves
and letting it spill over our loved ones
where pride died and became
a curse word and the cheap piss
and beer breathe was all that was left
to hide the death of the lives we held
sacrosanct

Years of wandering this tortured path
beaten men that spoke with violence
love was deemed weak
and was rushed beneath our feet
like a childs sandcastle
or a lovers face

It turned boy and somehow
that cycle broke
I remember such terrible things
watching your grandmothers blood
bleed with mine as she sheltered me
with her limp body to try to stop the blows

I rember the hate, the anger and how when i got bigger
it would never happen again
i walked my own path of violent destruction
made it through the perilous paths
arrived a man with pride in his eyes

I see you boy
the way you lash out
the way you strike out with all your might
the way you seem to revel in your strength
And I worry for you

I worry a bit less after reading this toughtful work and hope others will read it too.

 

[butters]

I worry boy

once we were warriors filled
with fierce pride
Those dull thuds of fist on chest
shake with the need to bleed
or make bleed
We were men that knew the language of fists

We were men that knew the language of love
toward our family
that knew how to protect and nurture
our hard curbed by their soft

But we lost our way
warped by booze and bruises
all that violence turned inward
directing hate at ourselves
and letting it spill over our loved ones
where pride died and became
a curse word and the cheap piss
and beer breathe was all that was left
to hide the death of the lives we held
sacrosanct

Years of wandering this tortured path
beaten men that spoke with violence
love was deemed weak
and was rushed beneath our feet
like a childs sandcastle
or a lovers face

It turned boy and somehow
that cycle broke
I remember such terrible things
watching your grandmothers blood
bleed with mine as she sheltered me
with her limp body to try to stop the blows

I rember the hate, the anger and how when i got bigger
it would never happen again
i walked my own path of violent destruction
made it through the perilous paths
arrived a man with pride in his eyes

I see you boy
the way you lash out
the way you strike out with all your might
the way you seem to revel in your strength
And I worry for you

happiness at seeing you posting, tods,is tempered by your subject-matter. writing, however, will always be your steam-valve

 

[pensivepoet]

Good stuff there, Tod
Loved the opening line that left no choice but to read on.
As I read, i could see white knuckles clenched, a lip turned, eyes searing.
Like I said,
Good stuff

 

[HoneyAdored]

......

 

[todski28]

I worry a bit less after reading this toughtful work and hope others will read it too.

happiness at seeing you posting, tods,is tempered by your subject-matter. writing, however, will always be your steam-valve

Good stuff there, Tod
Loved the opening line that left no choice but to read on.
As I read, i could see white knuckles clenched, a lip turned, eyes searing.
Like I said,
Good stuff

Beautifully written and pulled at my emotions. There is excellent imagery throughout and the story telling aspect really works here. You left me wondering, what will become of the boy and if he will take heed, I most certainly hope so

Thank you all with so many different poets of different styles commenting on this write i might have to edit it and submit it.

 

[Angeline]

Thank you all with so many different poets of different styles commenting on this write i might have to edit it and submit it.

Yep. You should.

 

[greenmountaineer]

Hi tod,

I would have commented sooner, but I've been having some internet problems:

"..need to bleed/or make bleed.." Great word phrasing (packs a punch LOL)

"our hard curbed by their soft" Very original. I liked how you used adjectives as nouns. I like poems that give little surprises with clear imagery. This line had both for me. It slowed me down to think about it just a little more.

"... we lost our way..." I thought was redundant, given what followed, but I'd keep the "But" for obvious reasons.

Was "rushed" meant to be "crushed?"

Great poem.

 

[champagne1982]

Guilt Has No Room Here

Why has this leviathan of time
paused to slow down and allow
me to breathe? Given a moment
to exist as an entity hurtling
toward an instant of suspension
becomes a luxury of days spun
more slowly. Hours spent deep
in wallows of self-pity become
wasteful of life forces and I feel
time shudder at the torment
of having a gift of itself squandered.

Grief must find a proper bed and lay
down to sleep in finer repose
than restless tossing and turning
through the night. This mourning
will pass with time and become
a series of memories time cannot
steal away. These will find honour
in my dreams and I will become
an alchemist to transmute the lead
of death into the gold of a beloved life.

 

[Angeline]

Guilt Has No Room Here

Why has this leviathan of time
paused to slow down and allow
me to breathe? Given a moment
to exist as an entity hurtling
toward an instant of suspension
becomes a luxury of days spun
more slowly. Hours spent deep
in wallows of self-pity become
wasteful of life forces and I feel
time shudder at the torment
of having a gift of itself squandered.

Grief must find a proper bed and lay
down to sleep in finer repose
than restless tossing and turning
through the night. This mourning
will pass with time and become
a series of memories time cannot
steal away. These will find honour
in my dreams and I will become
an alchemist to transmute the lead
of death into the gold of a beloved life.

Yes.

 

[butters]

These will find honour
in my dreams and I will become
an alchemist to transmute the lead
of death into the gold of a beloved life.

stunning lines

 

[todski28]

Guilt Has No Room Here

Why has this leviathan of time
paused to slow down and allow
me to breathe? Given a moment
to exist as an entity hurtling
toward an instant of suspension
becomes a luxury of days spun
more slowly. Hours spent deep
in wallows of self-pity become
wasteful of life forces and I feel
time shudder at the torment
of having a gift of itself squandered.

Grief must find a proper bed and lay
down to sleep in finer repose
than restless tossing and turning
through the night. This mourning
will pass with time and become
a series of memories time cannot
steal away. These will find honour
in my dreams and I will become
an alchemist to transmute the lead
of death into the gold of a beloved life.

So so good.

Leviathan such an interesting word and perfect for giving time a massive scale. This is full of excellent phrasing poignant and uplifting

Life and love this at once makes me want to cry and to go hike on a mountain to take in the beauty of life.

Champ you have written some wonderful stuff but I believe this may be a favorite of mine

 

[champagne1982]

Yes.

stunning lines

So so good.

Leviathan such an interesting word and perfect for giving time a massive scale. This is full of excellent phrasing poignant and uplifting

Life and love this at once makes me want to cry and to go hike on a mountain to take in the beauty of life.

Champ you have written some wonderful stuff but I believe this may be a favorite of mine

Thank you all so much. I woke and realized the melancholia that haunts me needs to be put to rest at last. Tears and alone-ness are one thing, being suffocated with stagnation at not moving forward is unacceptable. I will live life but not muted, I need to find a vibrancy to my existence and justify the gifts I have been given.

LIFE IS GOOD!

 

[Piscator]

Thank you all so much. I woke and realized the melancholia that haunts me needs to be put to rest at last. Tears and alone-ness are one thing, being suffocated with stagnation at not moving forward is unacceptable. I will live life but not muted, I need to find a vibrancy to my existence and justify the gifts I have been given.

LIFE IS GOOD!

Great gifts, wonderful work - make it so.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

As usual I'm late to the table. I just want to say how your poem moved me, Carrie. Using your considerable talent as a writer to lift yourself up from depression is another gift, this time for all of us, thank you.

 

[legerdemer]

Guilt Has No Room Here

Why has this leviathan of time
paused to slow down and allow
me to breathe? Given a moment
to exist as an entity hurtling
toward an instant of suspension
becomes a luxury of days spun
more slowly. Hours spent deep
in wallows of self-pity become
wasteful of life forces and I feel
time shudder at the torment
of having a gift of itself squandered.

Grief must find a proper bed and lay
down to sleep in finer repose
than restless tossing and turning
through the night. This mourning
will pass with time and become
a series of memories time cannot
steal away. These will find honour
in my dreams and I will become
an alchemist to transmute the lead
of death into the gold of a beloved life.

I love the second stanza. It is so poignant.

 

[Neonurotic]

La Push - sundrowning sandcastles

The late afternoon light hits me,
making me squint against the glare
then I see
her standing there,

windswept stormy hair,
barefoot on the shoreline.
She's a peepshow, a shadow
and nothing else
under her white shirt.

I can't help but stare,
she's stacked like double cherry pie.

Every song Levine ever sang
runs through my mind
because my own words escape me.

Sugar, sugar, yes please
won't you come and pour it down on me ¹

Because it's true that I need some sweetness
in my life. She's got me already
thinking I want to eat her alive.

The sand clings like confection
up her legs -- I imagine the grit
scratching my face, devouring
the perfection, filling the emptiness,
my holes punched out
where castles used to be,
used to be.



¹ Sugar, Maroon 5

 

[todski28]

such viscosity
living liquid melts against the walls
of life
gravity pulls
it trickles a trail
down
and nestles wet and beautiful
on the palm of my hand

soft moans and whispers
entreat the beast in me
as she demands more.

 

[Neonurotic]

La Push II - wept and windswept

The sky is stormy -- so is her hair
whipping sea salt and sand
into my face as I'm cradled here
with her, taking in the squall.

It's her eyes, gray and black
that pull me, fill me with her darkness
and I accept the pain that is part of her
as much as mine is part of me.

Growing cold lying on this beach,
numb to the bone, but knowing
everything that drowns me
makes me want to fly ¹, like the scars
that slice her wrists unfetter
her heart, free her to soar the skies.

We both fly like kites, catching the breeze
surfing above the white caps, safe as
they crash the rocks, the wild shoreline,
primordial and beastly, untamed as the sea.


¹ Counting Stars, OneRepublic

 

[champagne1982]

Neo these song inspired poems are fantastic. I'll read as long as you write them.

 

[Angeline]

Neo these song inspired poems are fantastic. I'll read as long as you write them.

I'll second that!

 

[HoneyAdored]

......

 

[Neonurotic]

Thank you champ, Ange and HoneyAdored. I'm spending some time in Olympic Peninsula at Forks, Wa. The beaches are gorgeous and wild, love watching the storms coming in off shore.

 

[Neonurotic]

La Push III - foggy, unseen and sea

Standing here on the edge of the world
I feel the icy salt water crash
on through me and I never felt more alive
She's got my back, warming,
bracing me and I right there protecting
her from the crush.

Affirmations, are screamed out loud
for all to hear but whispered
to each other in our nest -- the overlook,
witnessing the raw force of nature rolling
off foggy depths of reality.

I spent too much time feeling my way
through the darkness guided
by a beating heart -- it's strange,
I didn't know I was lost all along. ¹

I am safe, not because of the harbor,
it's having her, a wild, darker child
than me thanking whoever we believe
all day and all night,
knowing home can wait. It all will still be
there after the storm as I left it
but I will never be the same. Ever.


¹ Wake Me Up, Avicii

 

[todski28]

such viscosity
living liquid melts against the walls
of life
gravity pulls
it trickles a trail
down
and nestles wet and beautiful
on the palm of my hand

soft moans and whispers
entreat the beast in me
as she demands more.

slide my whispering tingle over skin raised to life,
swells, that rival an ocean squall
forked lightning rends the air
I feel the rain, eyes closed
breath held I dive in to taste
fresh water salted in life
lap from the valley's stream
savour it, before it is lost
in the storm

I have never felt so much heat, as that which beats
a drummers thump,
a heart beat
bumpbump, bumpbump

each flash of light
and touch of liquid
drives me toward the edge

I want to kneel naked in the sand
where the ocean meets the land
let the rain wash away
the last of the day
cleanse me
let me feel
take me into your depth
hold me there suspended in sensation
and take it all