all of a sudden passion suddenly

I can hear the song playing,
But the words are all mumbled,
I just can't think of the name.

You're still in my head,
And yet you can't hear it.
I'm sure you could sing along.

It calls us out so well,
Fits like a glove,
As if we wrote it ourselves.
 
For years and years
It went so quiet
On the outside
I carry you
Like a heart where
A sleeve would be
I’m out there
I’m right here
My parent is my child
A dog loves me
With her huge heart
And that’s all there is anymore
 
It’s not what you think
Muddled and lost within
Shadows, a great desire
Will arise,
Headspace
Another place
I knew you
So soon, so quick
Your charm worked
Like poison, crippling
It’s victim to later
Consume
Until you were satisfied
My habits don’t die
Functional, available
I keep shoving it inside
Trying to change everything
I keep forgetting
I don’t have to try
 
I don't know why
But I thought I could fly
Through the air,
When I jumped off the roof as a kid.
Reality hit hard
When I was flat out in the yard,
Having realised the stupid thing that I did.
 
The gravity of reality
The bill for your friendship
The price wasn't right
Was this the expectation all along?

You were real to me
I wasn't to you
Just a fulcrum disguised as a friend.
 
you were a tattoo
a passive aggressive placebo
you drank me in your coffee
i smoked you in my cigarettes
oh the imagined sheets
we tore at in our torrid
words were delivered
to one another's machines
you still stick in my mind
like a layer of honey
on the roof of my mouth
and i go on recalling that
dated, dead dream.
 
Terzanelle of the Hopeful Lover

It's not a date, at least not yet.
It's just a Tinder coffee thing,
This meeting with a tall brunette.

Her photo, though, had quite some zing.
I almost frantically swiped right
In hopes some Tinder coffee thing

Would turn into an overnight
Of slow-paced love and morning too,
Or so I wished when I swiped right.

We'd wake to bedsheets all askew
And start again, but not with haste,
For slow-paced love in morning, two

Can take their time, encicrcle waists,
And touch where touch most satisfies.
Then start again, but not with haste,

The knot and twines that love implies
And touch where touch most satisfies.
It's not a date, at least not yet,
Dreamed meeting with a tall brunette.
 
my hands are nervous around you
because they want to capture
your elegant body

and hold you close, as if somehow
that would fix the misery
of my life

which, of course, it would not
still, i do love to hold you
because your body, though not perfect,

edges me towards a perfection
that coupling with another offers,
or at least satisfies, which

will have to, i suppose, do
 
But never present
Just a flash here and there
Drudging the past
Digging at it
man, we dug at it
The old dog that I am
Sniffs around and then
Recedes into the
Gray static chaos
Of the world.
 
The passion and the Pain
Are churned into one
Lump that festers
Making choice so difficult
I wake sometimes
From a dream
Where I cut my own head off
And let red wash over
My eyes, my ears
Then the red turns
To a tarry black sludge
Still pumping out
Of my headless neck
And I remember why
I must be alone
 
It was your eyes you know
That drew me in
So deep that I cannot escape
Gladly I put on those chains
And now I ache to be free

Those eyes of chocolate brown
In which I lost my heart and soul
I fell into them and gave up myself
Deeper than ever before

Your eyes and that half smile
Which seemed to say everything
And nothing all at the same time

I asked you once who you thought about
When you took those selfies
Evading the question you never answered

Those eyes follow me in my dreams
Even now after all this time
You knew exactly how to use them
How to draw someone in
And enslave them for a lifetime
 
In/dependence

Do not think that I need your body.
Never think that, not even when
my hands wander along your thigh
as if searching for, what, comfort?
Validation? Do not suppose I need
to have your body lie upon mine,
to have you move above me, to have
my wits stripped to mere nerves
that jerk and spasm as if shocked
into reluctant motion, moving
mindlessly, entranced, unaware
of anything but your selfish thrust
that somehow I need, somehow crave.
It will not always be this way.
It will not. It will not. Yet
I cannot stop myself right now.
 
Dress for Success

I decided not to wear the stockings
or to strain my calves
balancing on those dark stilettos
with the arrowhead toe and blood-red sole.

Nor did I make myself clamber
into the black lace brassière from La Perla,
that one you paid way too much for,
saying you wanted to see just the hint
of my nipples when I removed my blouse.

No, instead I wore that old, soft tee
from your days at university, the one
that does not quite cover my cunt
when I walk toward you or my ass
when I walk away. Still,

I could see you were not disappointed,
even in the low bedroom light.
 
raging in love

I dont want the you that you show the world,
I dont want your pics,
though I love them so,
I dont need half hearted gestures,
I dont need likes or public recognition
I dont need to be excepted by your friends, keep them, I have my own,
I will probably tolerate yours less than mine,

I want the real,
I want the pain,
I want the sorrow,
I want to help carry your burden,
I want to know you,
what you believe,
what you hold back,
what brings you comfort and joy,
I want to know what scares you,
I want to be the weapon you carry to battle those fears,
I want to be the hand you hold,
the safe place you land.
I want to see your spirit flashing brilliantly in the midnight sky,
I want to be the chest where you bury your face and cry
I want to be one of the two who's hearts beat together,
one of two souls melding together
I want to be entangled with you, one woman, one man,
I want to dive into you and get lost in the chaotic hailstorm that embodies your love and your passion,
I want you to sooth my rage
 
I pick a random point of light.
Distance unknown.

A blast of energy beneath my feet.
Accelerate to the infinite.

Billions of tiny sparkling distractions.
Glistening in the darkening skies.

I'll be the first.
Interstellar skeleton.
 
there was something in the way
he'd flip a cigarette in between
his lips, and light it with a flick
he was the devil, i saw it in the flame
dirty denim and black nails i see him
when i look in the mirror
 
Like smoke in the fog
You're here and you're gone.

The dance of camouflage
The intent of subterfuge.

Acrid is the whiff
Stinging my sight.

Meaning was speculative
Guesses stand-in for deduction.
 
Always like a mist
That comes and goes
And comes back
It'll wrangle one down while
Moving together like snakes, one riffing off the other
in real time
Once upon a time
 
I'd stay a fool if i said
the passion has returned
Those things i sometimes
want, are just like sex fantasies
that don't play out
the way they always did
in your head
today i know what
i want
but will i be too afraid to get it
Probably not
i'm a new man,
just for a minute
or maybe, a year
maybe my number is
finally up again
but something, did happen.
 
Her Anklets

Her Anklets sing their loving song,
Like a metal roof drenched by rain,
As our bodies entwine in a fire dance,
Far away from the fear of pain.

They glitter gold for warm summer days,
And glint silver on cool winter nights,
And their bells dance merrily around,
Heavenly music for earthly delights.

With every step they sing their song,
A dancer in her heart and soul,
she floats amongst fallen leaves and flowers,
And gathers the dark in her Kohl.

Bound at her feet, her anklets ring,
As the world wakes to a misty dawn,
Her smile promises the coming spring,
And a long slow dance for sorrows gone.

Shattering the dry silence of summer,
Defiantly, they welcome greying skies,
Ringing, singing, clinking, a dance for rain,
Sizzling, sonorous, sacred, just like her sighs.

So her Anklets sing their loving song,
Like a metal roof drenched by rain,
As our bodies entwine in a fire dance,
Far away from the fear of pain.
 
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