Years ago my girlfriend was much more open to having anal sex, she was actually the one that brought it up the first time we did it (thank god). For a while she would suggest it because she loved how excited I'd get, but as of late she's been much more reluctant to do it. She says her stomach is upset for around 24 hours after we do it and she has problems with diarrhea and "leakage" (we don't use a condom). Have any of you ladies experienced this and if so do you experience it every time? Also, are there any ways of preventing these "after effects"? Last but not least, she usually complains that it hurts which she didn't years ago. We generally take plenty of time and use lots of lube and I don't think I've grown that much but I suppose it's possible. In any case, I figure a better lube may help the situation. We've used KY many times and it worked but it seemed to me to get a little sticky and messy. We also tried Astroglide but she complained of a burning sensation. As I'm not very inclined towards going to adult "gift" stores, I prefer to pick something up at a pharmacy or grocery store. Has anyone tried one of the more commercially available lubricants besides KY Jelly and Astroglide and had much success? Thanks in advance.
Anal sex after effects
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Mr.G
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Just a guess...
but it sounds like she's developed a bit of an alergy to your ejaculate. It's fairly common. Your ejaculate simply reacts negatively with all the friendly li'll bugs in her lower GI that help us digest stuff. Kill off an massive number of those buggies and the result is the trots, cramps and a general feeling of "sick" will result.
A simple fix may be as simple as wearing a condom rather than changing lubricants. Her new pain is probably a result of being nervous about the anticipated discomfort.
Just a suggestion.
but it sounds like she's developed a bit of an alergy to your ejaculate. It's fairly common. Your ejaculate simply reacts negatively with all the friendly li'll bugs in her lower GI that help us digest stuff. Kill off an massive number of those buggies and the result is the trots, cramps and a general feeling of "sick" will result.
A simple fix may be as simple as wearing a condom rather than changing lubricants. Her new pain is probably a result of being nervous about the anticipated discomfort.
Just a suggestion.
Hotred911
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Re: Just a guess...
I would have never thought of being allergic to his semen. I experience almost the exact same effects an0ns girlfriend, and always thought it just a normal side of effect of anal play. We'll have to try a condom next time and see how it works.
As far as lube goes, we use Amorist Aqua. IMO it's far better than KY or Astroglide, it doesn't get sticky or dry up, stays nice and wet. The down side for you...we found it at a sex store. You can order it online if that's an option though.
Mr.G said:
I would have never thought of being allergic to his semen. I experience almost the exact same effects an0ns girlfriend, and always thought it just a normal side of effect of anal play. We'll have to try a condom next time and see how it works.
As far as lube goes, we use Amorist Aqua. IMO it's far better than KY or Astroglide, it doesn't get sticky or dry up, stays nice and wet. The down side for you...we found it at a sex store. You can order it online if that's an option though.
moonchild24
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I can only speak for myself, but sometimes I can't even fathom anal sex, other times I wanna try but it hurts too bad, sometimes I like.... I always hurt the next day and rarely attempt it more than one day at a time. This sucks b/c it seems my partner craves it 
... I'm open to suggestions on this too...
... I'm open to suggestions on this too...an0n said:
I can answer this part...I have dealt with the same thing in the past. But usually only after a LONG session of anal, and perhaps after having it more than once in a night. For me, it was mostly cramps and a feeling of fullness that was unpleasant at times. I just wrote it off as being the price I paid for a really good anal fuck.
Worth it, oh my, yes. Using a condom would take care of the 'leakage' problem. If you don't want to use a condom, cleaning very thoroughly and then using a pantyliner the next day would help.
S.
Women can develop allergies to a man's semen, yes. But if she isn't experiencing any icky reactions after vaginal sex (and you are not using a condom at that time either), then I doubt allergies are a problem.
I've experienced the same symptoms with my current partner - sometimes. I've found that if I am completely "empty", it eliminates the problem. Also, my partner usually only engages in anal sex for a short period of time, usually until he orgasms. However, there was one time when we didn't use lube and the after effects were somewhat painful for about 24 hours.
Suggestions? She can try emptying her bowels right before. Going back to a lube that worked, or try something with staying power. (I've also heard that Wet works very well) Lastly, you can wear a condom - that will prevent the diarrehea and leakage for certain, but she may still experience some cramping over the next 24 hours.
I've experienced the same symptoms with my current partner - sometimes. I've found that if I am completely "empty", it eliminates the problem. Also, my partner usually only engages in anal sex for a short period of time, usually until he orgasms. However, there was one time when we didn't use lube and the after effects were somewhat painful for about 24 hours.
Suggestions? She can try emptying her bowels right before. Going back to a lube that worked, or try something with staying power. (I've also heard that Wet works very well) Lastly, you can wear a condom - that will prevent the diarrehea and leakage for certain, but she may still experience some cramping over the next 24 hours.
BlackRoseSeraph
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moonchild24 said:I can only speak for myself, but sometimes I can't even fathom anal sex, other times I wanna try but it hurts too bad, sometimes I like.... I always hurt the next day and rarely attempt it more than one day at a time. This sucks b/c it seems my partner craves it
A bit of help for you moonchild, next time try stretching it slowly with some foreplay. You also want to go to the local adult store and pick up a tupe of Anal Ease, makes things alot better.
floweringlotus
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Last Sunday, a week ago now, my lover and I had anal intercourse for the first time. We have played in the area quite a bit, and we have both inserted fingers, licked, kissed, rubbed, spanked, etc. He has penetrated a bit with the head, but this was the first time he went in as far as he did with about half of his penis, thrusting as in vaginal intercourse.
At first I was tight and it was kind of sore, but then I opened up. That is when he started thrusting. He used a lot of lube, and is very careful, so that part was okay. I was nervous while we were doing it and I'm not sure I let go entirely.
I wasn't sore right afterwards, but he was kind enough to place a warmed wet wash cloth against my butt three times, re-warming it as it got cold. I really appreciated the attention.
I have been very sore, however, for almost the entire week. Yesterday it seemed to let up finally, and today isn't bad, but I'm wondering if this is normal after the first time, or if I should be concerned.
I HAVE been concerned, which probably hasn't helped me relax any. The soreness hasn't just been around the opening, it has gone up inside and has accompanied lower abdominal discomfort similar to menstraul cramps. During most of the week, it was uncomfortable to sit, to drive, and to lean forward. More comfortable to stand or lie down.
I'd appreciate any insight - well, let me rephrase that - no 'in sight' allowed <grin> sorry, it's my wry sense of humor...
floweringlotus
At first I was tight and it was kind of sore, but then I opened up. That is when he started thrusting. He used a lot of lube, and is very careful, so that part was okay. I was nervous while we were doing it and I'm not sure I let go entirely.
I wasn't sore right afterwards, but he was kind enough to place a warmed wet wash cloth against my butt three times, re-warming it as it got cold. I really appreciated the attention.
I have been very sore, however, for almost the entire week. Yesterday it seemed to let up finally, and today isn't bad, but I'm wondering if this is normal after the first time, or if I should be concerned.
I HAVE been concerned, which probably hasn't helped me relax any. The soreness hasn't just been around the opening, it has gone up inside and has accompanied lower abdominal discomfort similar to menstraul cramps. During most of the week, it was uncomfortable to sit, to drive, and to lean forward. More comfortable to stand or lie down.
I'd appreciate any insight - well, let me rephrase that - no 'in sight' allowed <grin> sorry, it's my wry sense of humor...
floweringlotus
SensualCealy
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I dont know if this will help but, what about trying a TUX after wards? It is used for hemroides, eases the burning they cause. I have never had the soreness I guess do to the fact we take our time. I can only support the suggestions of lots of lube and taking your time. I would however be a bit skeptical on using the enima too soon before you have anal sex. Enimas usual create lots of cramping to get things moving, as well as lots of gas. Id hate for you to have a quick get away when he pulls out!!
While I was writing this I got to thinking, maybe he's possitioning himself at a point where he may be hitting your bowel wall causing some bruising? Its a thought. I would suggest, next time eat a light lunch and maybe skip dinner until afterwards. When you get to the point of softening up ask him not to take it all the way, your nerve endings are at the anus anyway so depth isnt really something that helps you out. The tightness is what helps him out.
Hope this helps a bit.
Take care,
Cealy
While I was writing this I got to thinking, maybe he's possitioning himself at a point where he may be hitting your bowel wall causing some bruising? Its a thought. I would suggest, next time eat a light lunch and maybe skip dinner until afterwards. When you get to the point of softening up ask him not to take it all the way, your nerve endings are at the anus anyway so depth isnt really something that helps you out. The tightness is what helps him out.
Hope this helps a bit.
Take care,
Cealy
farieyqueenlola
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anal worries
thanks all of you for the advise...you guys are great!!
Mr. G and Sheath....thanks I'm going to give it a go *L*
thanks all of you for the advise...you guys are great!!
Mr. G and Sheath....thanks I'm going to give it a go *L*
floweringlotus said:
*snicker* I like your sense of humor.
I have felt the kind of thing you described here. It usually happened when I was tense, wasn't entirely ready or when we simply went at it a little too hard. The first time I ever tried anal, I was sore for DAYS. Badly sore. Every time I moved, it hurt. But then I learned how to better move my body, how to meet the thrusts, how to take him in...and now I absolutely ADORE anal sex. And the soreness afterward is now a pleasurable aching reminder of what we did, not a kick in the ass, so to speak.
I would tell you to go through all the threads and read all you can about anal sex...absolutely everything. Then try different positions, different speeds, depths...until you figure out what works.
Then, of course, come back and tell us all about your success.
S.
floweringlotus
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*snicker* I like your sense of humor.
And, I LIKE your avatar!! Always have, ever since I first saw it. Now I'm glad to have the chance to tell you.
I really appreciate your sharing, sheath! I have been giving it some thought - duh - and I do think that I was tense and perhaps wasn't ready. My friend sent me a link about it, actually he sent about 6 links ;-) and in my reading, I learned about how some people hold their anxiety there and how it then makes it hard to do anal. I think I'm one of those people, so I think it would help to consciously do letting go exercises and to do some solo playing.
I also learned that I have a hang-up about anal. I LOVE EVERYthing else about anal play!! But when it comes to that, it seems that I'm scared of it because I know that I am holding my tension there and I know it is going to hurt.
I was glad to - well, I wasn't glad to hear that you hurt for days - but I was glad to know I wasn't the only one. The same was for me - it hurt to move, period.
I will take your advice and read all the threads on it... can you say more about what you mean re: learning to meet his thrusts... and take him in? Do you find one position works better for you than another? ... I think I wasn't ready...
Take care and thank you again!
And, I LIKE your avatar!! Always have, ever since I first saw it. Now I'm glad to have the chance to tell you.
I really appreciate your sharing, sheath! I have been giving it some thought - duh - and I do think that I was tense and perhaps wasn't ready. My friend sent me a link about it, actually he sent about 6 links ;-) and in my reading, I learned about how some people hold their anxiety there and how it then makes it hard to do anal. I think I'm one of those people, so I think it would help to consciously do letting go exercises and to do some solo playing.
I also learned that I have a hang-up about anal. I LOVE EVERYthing else about anal play!! But when it comes to that, it seems that I'm scared of it because I know that I am holding my tension there and I know it is going to hurt.
I was glad to - well, I wasn't glad to hear that you hurt for days - but I was glad to know I wasn't the only one. The same was for me - it hurt to move, period.
I will take your advice and read all the threads on it... can you say more about what you mean re: learning to meet his thrusts... and take him in? Do you find one position works better for you than another? ... I think I wasn't ready...
Take care and thank you again!
floweringlotus
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Cealy, you have a helpful idea to use a TUX afterwards
Also, a helpful thought about doing an enema too soon before. I hadn't thought about that but it makes sense. I recall having a couple of them and all the 'stuff' that went on with it. :-(
Maybe an enema two days before?
Also, a helpful thought about doing an enema too soon before. I hadn't thought about that but it makes sense. I recall having a couple of them and all the 'stuff' that went on with it. :-(
Maybe an enema two days before?
floweringlotus said:
I'm glad you like the avatar.
It seems to define my personality. Hmmm...well, in answer to your questions...the first time I had anal, I didn't know it would be a good idea to push back against him. I learned that pretty quickly. Pushing back against him, both with my body AND with the muscles themselves, made it much easier to take him in that initial thrust. I also learned to move my body to meet him, just like...well, imagine being under him. Missionary. You would probably arch up against him and meet him halfway when the thrust downward, right? That's what I mean. Same thing. I learned that if I did that, and actively participated instead of just letting him 'fuck' me, then it hurt much less. Probably because I had some control of the depth of the penetration, but also because it made me FEEL in control, which made me less tense. Good all around.
I hope that all made sense, because I have hardly slept in the last few days and it is beginning to show!
I've tried all sorts of positions with anal, but what seems to work the best is a toss-up...either me facing away from him and lowering myself onto his cock, or lying flat on my belly while he moves downward into me. Me on top means that I control most of it, and that is great when I'm tense to begin with. But lying on my belly has more of an emotional impact, if that makes sense...I feel taken. He can do whatever he wants, and I am entirely in his hands, letting him do something so intimate and giving him my complete trust while he does it. Whew. Heady.
I hope this helps. In the end, it's just going to be a lot of experimentation to find what works and what doesn't. But the exploration is worth the days of being sore. TRUST me.
S.
