Any long term marriages out there?

[TomnDiane]

In 2 weeks, it will be 33 years. She's end stage cancer now (67 years old, lung cancer that spread to her brain). Wouldn't have done this with anyone else, and I won't marry again. Very difficult two years.

 

[Sgts19]

48 Here. Her and I fit together she's the white part of ying and yang I'm the evil part. Sex life has been great, relationship great real life stuff we've been ridden hard put away wet.

Hard to believe we met through my fuck buddy at the time, hell of a way to meet your future wife. Married 6 months to the day after our first date.

 

[live4thebj]

Yet to marry but been together for 14 going on to 15 years in a few months. Prior to that longest was 11 years. The 11 year relationship she kept me around with constant blowjobs. This one I am currently with I honestly love her.

 

[hilton1958]

Married for 36 years, we still have sex about once a week, and it's pretty good, although with limitations due to complications on her side, but we both still enjoy it very much.

 

[macgeetravis69]

Wife and I have been together 26 years. We’re in our early/mid fifties now.

For many women, my wife included, perimenopause destroys libido. My wife will put out but it’s no longer enjoyable for her and becomes more of a chore. It’s not fun for me knowing she’s not into it. We talk and work on it but nothing short of a miracle will restore her libido.

Even early into our marriage, it was obvious we weren’t a fantastic match in bed. Never seemed to sync with one another as much as I would have liked. Talk only gets you so far when the root is more a lack of chemistry.

Maybe we should have parted early on but I felt an obligation to honor the commitment we made and more importantly, to be a good father and role model to our child.

So, the way I saw it early on, I had three options:

1) Put up with it. Keep trying to talk and work through it but people don’t really change and that’s a great way to build resentment on both sides with ultimately leads to the ugliest of divorces.

2) Divorce. Maybe it was the best option in the early years but there comes a point, financially, when a divorce after too many years means little chance of ever fully recovering. I just finally retired early at 52 and I have no desire to go back to work for the rest of my life because I lost half my pension and savings.

3) Cheating. As fucked up as it sounds, this turned out to be the best choice for me. Every five years or so, my needs would reach a breaking point so I found an outlet with long term (6-12 month) affairs. The result was I was happy as a clam and all my wife ever saw was how happy and content I was. I gratefully met her needs because mine were being filled elsewhere. Even after the affairs ended, I’d be smiling for the next year thinking about the good times. But eventually, those needs build up again. Resentment sets in, I’m not the good husband anymore and I know it’s time to find the next one.

I don’t think Human Beings are biologically designed for life long relationships. I’m chatting with a beautiful woman now who is in a perfect marriage yet she’s bored to tears and has online affairs with guys like me.

If I found myself single again, I’d never remarry. I might have a long term relationship with the right person but we’d live separately.

Reading this was like reading a summary of my married life. Difference is we have been married 54 years. Our sex life was good until we reached our late 60's. Up to then I was so over sexed that I was always try to engage her in sex. We would have dry patches sure, but we always found a way back to bed. Then one day it was like a switch was turned off. I started suffering from ED and sex went from hot to not.

 

[LMWM321]

I don’t think Human Beings are biologically designed for life long relationships. I’m chatting with a beautiful woman now who is in a perfect marriage yet she’s bored to tears and has online affairs with guys like me.

I believe we ARE wired for long term relationships, but not necessarily for lifelong sexual monogamy.

Having a partner makes raising children and going through life's trials and tribulations, including advancing age, much easier. Indeed, as I look around at my friends and family, the happiest among them are in long-term relationships.

But I DON'T believe we are necessarily wired for lifelong sexual monogamy. Even people who are in great relationship and are having sex STILL pine for sex outside of their marriage. ..To my thinking, this is Mother Nature telling us something. I don't think long term relationships are untenable, it's having sex with just one person for DECADES that is the problem. Yet, for some reason, humans have made the two - sex and having a primary life-partner - a package deal. This may not be hard for the partner who isn't getting the sex they no longer want, but it's very hard for the partner who desires sex but is no longer getting it.

My personal feeling is that once the desire discrepancy within a relationship has grown to the point where one or both partners is deeply unhappy with the amount of sex they are having, they need to permit sex outside of the marriage, plain and simple. This will require a huge cultural shift. Instead of defining Fidelity as never having sex with other people, we'll need to redefine it as allowing it but with rules that protect the security of the primary relationship. I think in a hundred years, this will be the norm.

For many, sex is not some pointless activity that can be easily forgone. Indeed, it keeps people feeling young, the mind sharp, and helps people to live longer. If you truly love your partner but no longer care about sex, then allow them to seek it elsewhere, but doing so with openness and honesty.

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

I was married 25 years, but ½ of that we were separated, but still married.
We hung out every single day, nearly, as he was my best friend too...

From day 1, literally from the first night we had a 4th of July date... Our sex life was perfect.
Wild even that included inside and outside sex, BJ's often, so often that I gave him a blow job just a month before he passed away...

Sex was always good between us

 

[Nicenashguy615]

I believe we ARE wired for long term relationships, but not necessarily for lifelong sexual monogamy.

Having a partner makes raising children and going through life's trials and tribulations, including advancing age, much easier. Indeed, as I look around at my friends and family, the happiest among them are in long-term relationships.

But I DON'T believe we are necessarily wired for lifelong sexual monogamy. Even people who are in great relationship and are having sex STILL pine for sex outside of their marriage. ..To my thinking, this is Mother Nature telling us something. It isn't long term relationships that are untenable, it's having sex with just one person for DECADES that is the problem. Yet, for some reason, humans have made the two - sex and having a primary life-partner - a package deal. This may not be hard for the partner who isn't getting the sex they no longer want, but it's very hard for the partner who desires sex but is no longer getting it.

My personal feeling is that once the desire discrepancy within a relationship has grown to the point where one or both partners is deeply unhappy with the amount of sex they are having, they need to permit sex outside of the marriage, plain and simple. This will require a huge cultural shift. Instead of defining Fidelity as never having sex with other people, we'll need to redefine it as allowing it but with rules that protect the security of the primary relationship. I think in a hundred years, this will be the norm.

For many, sex is not some pointless activity that can be easily forgone. Indeed, it keeps people feeling young, the mind sharp, and helps people to live longer. If you truly love your partner but no longer care about sex, then allow them to seek it elsewhere, but doing so with openness and honesty.

Totally agree and well said.

I personally believe that in generations to come, such a cultural acceptance may really take place but it will apply only to those future generations that grew up believing it should be that way. For those of us who spent our lives being told that’s wrong, I really can’t see any change there. I’ve already heard of younger couples doing this and that would have been unheard of fifty years ago.

And if I’m being honest, as exciting as it would be to be given permission to have sex openly with new partners, it would have to apply to both of us. And I’m not sure how I’d react if my wife went from not wanting to have sex with me to wanting it from some new guy after we opened that door. I can handle the idea of her being with someone else but there would be huge resentment on my part to live day to day knowing my wife actually wanted sex but never from me.

Now if her hormonal therapy suddenly changed everything for her and our sex life was what it should be, I’d probably be okay having the open relationship conversation. I can accept that her hormones have her losing interest in sex but I really don’t want to spend the rest of my life with someone who has only lost interest in me.

If I stop and think about it much, I can imagine it would be gut wrenching for her to watch me go off knowing I’m being pleasured by another woman. That’s how I’d feel. And that’s no way for either of us to live.

Even if she gave me permission and promised not to go out herself, I’d probably still keep it very secret just to spare her feelings.

I think the only way I could be happy in an open relationship would be if I found myself single and the new relationship began as open and stayed that way.

So after reading over my own comments here, I still conclude that for most of us, affairs are probably the best way to cope.

 

[LMWM321]

Totally agree and well said.

I personally believe that in generations to come, such a cultural acceptance may really take place but it will apply only to those future generations that grew up believing it should be that way. For those of us who spent our lives being told that’s wrong, I really can’t see any change there. I’ve already heard of younger couples doing this and that would have been unheard of fifty years ago.

And if I’m being honest, as exciting as it would be to be given permission to have sex openly with new partners, it would have to apply to both of us. And I’m not sure how I’d react if my wife went from not wanting to have sex with me to wanting it from some new guy after we opened that door. I can handle the idea of her being with someone else but there would be huge resentment on my part to live day to day knowing my wife actually wanted sex but never from me.

Now if her hormonal therapy suddenly changed everything for her and our sex life was what it should be, I’d probably be okay having the open relationship conversation. I can accept that her hormones have her losing interest in sex but I really don’t want to spend the rest of my life with someone who has only lost interest in me.

If I stop and think about it much, I can imagine it would be gut wrenching for her to watch me go off knowing I’m being pleasured by another woman. That’s how I’d feel. And that’s no way for either of us to live.

Even if she gave me permission and promised not to go out herself, I’d probably still keep it very secret just to spare her feelings.

I think the only way I could be happy in an open relationship would be if I found myself single and the new relationship began as open and stayed that way.

So after reading over my own comments here, I still conclude that for most of us, affairs are probably the best way to cope.

A terrific contribution to the conversation.

I agree, it will take years before sex outside of a marriage is seen not as a violation of the union, but as merely a normal thing people do to maintain their interest in sex. ..And maintaining such an interest will be seen as an essential part of a person's physical, emotional, and cognitive wellbeing. Indeed, even today it's known that people who continue to have sex late in life, live longer and happier.

You mention affairs.. The problem I see with affairs is that the two engaging in the affair are brought closer by all the secrets, planning, and concealment. That they form a close bond because of all the maneuvering they must engage in. But sex that happens in an open, and honest way removes that. So the risk of forming a bond with a person you're having sex with is reduced.

I do believe there will be rules that are intended to protect the marriage. Such rules might include: outside sex kept to a limited frequency; Sex w/ a specific person limited to a certain number of times; no overnights; only with other married people, who have also have their spouses approval, etc..

I also firmly believe that Sex work should be legalized. If it is legal and socially acceptable to monetize ones talent for brutality in sports, it should likewise be acceptable to monetize ones talent for giving sexual pleasure. It seems like a stretch now, but they should be regarded like other health-care providers like doctors, physical therapists, etc.. And they will likewise be required to have a license. ..And they would they would lose their license and be liable for damages if they engage in a relationship with their clients beyond the sex that is paid for.

Such a sex worker could be a perfect way for someone in a sexless relationship to engage in intimacy. Maybe It's a stretch, but sort of like someone getting a monthly massage, they go to have sex. Is intimacy without an emotional connection as fulfilling? Probably not.. But it's much better than going totally without. ..Which too many people seem to be doing.

 

[ChloeOfCascadia]

How's your sex life with your mate? What do you do to keep it fresh?

My wife and I were on the brink of a very bitter divorce. We were angry at each other. Intimacy was long dead and our sex life was nil.

My wife bought a condo and moved out. We decided we still loved each other but couldn't live together. We split stuff up, pretty much, stayed married and lived happily ever after. Now my wife is my girlfriend and life is verrrry good.

That's my story. What's yours?


blue

Married 10 years, to a woman who said she loved me and asked me to move to Norway to marry her. We met in 2015, for two weeks, got married after a month of being together starting december 2015.

Married end of January 2016.

She informed me the reason she doesn't have sex with me is she is aromantic asexual.

We had our kids via IVF.

She tells me she has no feelings for me, can't have them, and I am her roommate.

Divorce is expensive, yes, but I have already lost everything.

 

[ChloeOfCascadia]

I am ready to meet the right woman so the next marriage is my last one.

I was hoping to only ever have the one, now I have no choice but to try for a second, better one.

 

[ChloeOfCascadia]

Two people entered this world, I have no regrets, only that, I need to focus on my own needs now. I've given other people everything they've asked of me for the last 20 years, I need to find my happiness now.

My love. MY happy ending. My forever family.

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

How's your sex life with your mate? What do you do to keep it fresh?

My wife and I were on the brink of a very bitter divorce. We were angry at each other. Intimacy was long dead and our sex life was nil.

My wife bought a condo and moved out. We decided we still loved each other but couldn't live together. We split stuff up, pretty much, stayed married and lived happily ever after. Now my wife is my girlfriend and life is verrrry good.

That's my story. What's yours?


blue

Anniversary today. Been a great ride.

 

[Nicenashguy615]

A terrific contribution to the conversation.

I agree, it will take years before sex outside of a marriage is seen not as a violation of the union, but as merely a normal thing people do to maintain their interest in sex. ..And maintaining such an interest will be seen as an essential part of a person's physical, emotional, and cognitive wellbeing. Indeed, even today it's known that people who continue to have sex late in life, live longer and happier.

You mention affairs.. The problem I see with affairs is that the two engaging in the affair are brought closer by all the secrets, planning, and concealment. That they form a close bond because of all the maneuvering they must engage in. But sex that happens in an open, and honest way removes that. So the risk of forming a bond with a person you're having sex with is reduced.

I do believe there will be rules that are intended to protect the marriage. Such rules might include: outside sex kept to a limited frequency; Sex w/ a specific person limited to a certain number of times; no overnights; only with other married people, who have also have their spouses approval, etc..

I also firmly believe that Sex work should be legalized. If it is legal and socially acceptable to monetize ones talent for brutality in sports, it should likewise be acceptable to monetize ones talent for giving sexual pleasure. It seems like a stretch now, but they should be regarded like other health-care providers like doctors, physical therapists, etc.. And they will likewise be required to have a license. ..And they would they would lose their license and be liable for damages if they engage in a relationship with their clients beyond the sex that is paid for.

Such a sex worker could be a perfect way for someone in a sexless relationship to engage in intimacy. Maybe It's a stretch, but sort of like someone getting a monthly massage, they go to have sex. Is intimacy without an emotional connection as fulfilling? Probably not.. But it's much better than going totally without. ..Which too many people seem to be doing.

Yeah, I too believe sex work should be legal. Regulated and taxed like everything else. I think a side benefit of doing so would be a huge reduction in sex trafficking. Anytime you make something forbidden, particularly if it’s something in high demand, you set conditions for a black market that has no human decency restrictions.

I don’t know that one could find meaningful intimacy in that way but you certainly could have your biological needs filled. I think it could be fun to say, ‘I think I’ll try a redhead tonight.’

 

[Britva415]

She informed me the reason she doesn't have sex with me is she is aromantic asexual.

Classy of her to inform you after the marriage.

 

[ChicagoR85]

We have, a bit. Not got very far with him, tbh. But it’s almost like it’s too late now. We sleep in separate rooms because of his snoring which hasn’t helped. We love each other very much, I’m afraid we just don’t have that attraction anymore. Ugh. Any tips?

@CharleySoHorny

Have you tried him to see a ENT specialist ? He can try nasal strips or also there metallic and magnetic strips which open up the nostrils to stop the snoring. May be it’s too late as you said, there is no attraction left.

 

[CharleySoHorny]

@CharleySoHorny

Have you tried him to see a ENT specialist ? He can try nasal strips or also there metallic and magnetic strips which open up the nostrils to stop the snoring. May be it’s too late as you said, there is no attraction left.

Thank you!

 

[JackStayII]

Would going on fifty-four years count?

 

[MuffandNonsense]

Married for 45 years (together for 50).
We've ridden a few ups and downs and are now happier than ever.
We've rekindled our sex life and things in the boudoir are better than ever.

 

[EmmAgain]

Five years, still going strong. We have a swinging lifestyle and I’m not sure how that’s going to hold up with an expanding family this year….

 

[Sgts19]

Married for 45 years (together for 50).
We've ridden a few ups and downs and are now happier than ever.
We've rekindled our sex life and things in the boudoir are better than ever.

46 here and still going strong

 

[fool4u]

42 years, 46 of knowing each other.

 

[Jessiat30]

38 here.

 

[Saltyqueen76]

How's your sex life with your mate? What do you do to keep it fresh?

My wife and I were on the brink of a very bitter divorce. We were angry at each other. Intimacy was long dead and our sex life was nil.

My wife bought a condo and moved out. We decided we still loved each other but couldn't live together. We split stuff up, pretty much, stayed married and lived happily ever after. Now my wife is my girlfriend and life is verrrry good.

That's my story. What's yours?


blue

Damn that sounds like the perfect solve. I'm still living in your part 1.

 

[RedmanReaction19]

26 years. More active in the bedroom the last couple of months than ever, including about 15 of no/low sex.

What has contributed to the increase?