Are homosexual relationships more stable than heterosexual relationships?

[sexy-girl]

I think a good many number of lesbians leap into a 'serious' relationship too quickly.

on a personal level i agree with that ... i think i would of gone a lot faster with my relationship if the distance hadn't been slowing us down

but it actually worked out beneficial that we had to take things slower

 

[Netzach]

Other --We live in a society that defines the worth of a relationship by its longevity.

I say bullshit.

I credit people with a hot one night stand over a bitter dragged out roomate-dom with one person cheating. Hetero or homo.

 

[Teal]

I wouldent know really cause I havent had a relationship that I could call one in 4 years and same goes for the sex life.

But the last relationship that I had that I could call one was with a women, and there was nothig but here cheating on me I was good to her did what ever I could for her I told here that if thers anythign she wants of this relationship all she has to do is speak up but no she thinks that if she wants to brake up with someone she goes and cheats on that person and let the other partner do teh dumping cause she cant bring herself to do it herself...

What a fucking hooch, that was the last time I put forth trust in a relationship.

and sence Ive been fucked on by ppl(relationship wize) i just gave up and when I do try to get into a relationship whith anyone tha tI would think remotly has anyintrest in me the depression comes in I do what I can to make myself appeal to the person iam after but again i just get shitted on.

</rambling of a sad man>

 

[Queersetti]

I keep hearing that, but I have yet to see it in evidence.

I don't think you ever will see evidence, because there is no legal paper trail, such as divorce records, and because so many gay and lesbian relationships are closeted, and therefore unobservable to outsiders.

 

[glamorilla]

all relationships are difficult.

i do think homosexual...particularly gay relationships tend to be very hard to come by but i'm also a new yorker so my view of all relationships is skewed. we have society working against us. the ones that i see that work out work out magnificently so it can happen.

 

[John Doe]

I don't think you ever will see evidence, because there is no legal paper trail, such as divorce records, and because so many gay and lesbian relationships are closeted, and therefore unobservable to outsiders.

No not that, the thing about women being more communicative about thier feelings than men.

 

[ravenmx]

Stuponfucious
No not that, the thing about women being more communicative about thier feelings than men

This is true most women do not communicate well in their male relationships however, I see more lesbian relationship where they do communicate.

In my experience, in all my heterosexual relationships I did not communicate as much as I should. In my lesbian relationships, I did and due to that, I think, is the reason I have had one 6-year relationship and now I am in a relationship going on 11 years.

Why? For me I would try to communicate but never felt "understood", (I know this sounds like a cop out). In my lesbian relationships, I felt understood because as a women she knew where I was coming from and why I felt that way.

Does this make any sense?

 

[Raimondin]

I think this communication thing that women are better at it than men is a myth. Men just speak a different language.

 

[Equinoxe]

It's reasonable well accepted amongst a number of psychologists and behaviourists that women have better communication skills.

Of course, I think it largely varies from individual to individual.

 

[Raimondin]

It's reasonable well accepted amongst a number of psychologists and behaviourists that women have better communication skills.

Of course, I think it largely varies from individual to individual.

Yeah, you're right about that and I agree. That's not to say that guys don't have any at all. Women are just bettar at it. Maybe that's a gender thing again, I don't know. I have to admit though, as a gay guy myself I'm still "male of the species" and I understand that part of me very well. I think that's why we (physically) fight each other and then at the end we're all having a beer watching the football game together laughing. Very strange, I admit. Verbal vs physical.

 

[Equinoxe]

Yeah, you're right about that and I agree. That's not to say that guys don't have any at all. Women are just bettar at it. Maybe that's a gender thing again, I don't know. I have to admit though, as a gay guy myself I'm still "male of the species" and I understand that part of me very well. I think that's why we (physically) fight each other and then at the end we're all having a beer watching the football game together laughing. Very strange, I admit. Verbal vs physical.

I think a lot of it is cultural as well, men being told they're not supposed to talk about their feelings.

As to you still being the "male of the species," I've always felt that flamingly effeminate gay men and butch lesbians were putting on a show in contrived sort of reaction against (and ironically emulation of) straight culture. I don't hold that against them, I just find it amusing really. Gender identity and sexual orientation are mostly unrelated.

 

[Raimondin]

I've always felt that flamingly effeminate gay men and butch lesbians were putting on a show in contrived sort of reaction against (and ironically emulation of) straight culture. I don't hold that against them, I just find it amusing really. Gender identity and sexual orientation are mostly unrelated.

Absolutely, thank you. Very well stated.
That's how I've always felt. Myself, I'm more on the masculine physical side, (and nothing against my effeminate gay brothers) but often times I've had diffulculty communicating with them, and vice versa. I've often had to pay the price of non-acceptance even among other gay men for that. Sexual orientation for me never had anything to do with gender identity. I hope I said that right. I hope that makes sense.

 

[Equinoxe]

Absolutely, thank you. Very well stated.
That's how I've always felt. Myself, I'm more on the masculine physical side, (and nothing against my effeminate gay brothers) but often times I've had diffulculty communicating with them, and vice versa. I've often had to pay the price of non-acceptance even among other gay men for that. Sexual orientation for me never had anything to do with gender identity. I hope I said that right. I hope that makes sense.

Thank you and it makes sense to me.

I guess from my own perspective I've known too many men who somehow affected a lisp when they realised they fancied men and I'm left wondering, why does that change who you are? Or women who suddenly started wearing a lot of flannel and styling their hair in a mullet, because they realised they like women and I have think, "All right I get that you're attracted to women, but why the sudden mullet and flannel?"

I have my own posing and idiosyncrasies (I write in British English despite living in the Midwest), so I'm not passing judgement, I just find it odd. I suppose because many of these people aren't willing to admit that its simply a style choice they've made too suit the "new" them and not some deeper reflection of themselves.

 

[Raimondin]

Thank you and it makes sense to me.

I guess from my own perspective I've known too many men who somehow affected a lisp when they realised they fancied men and I'm left wondering, why does that change who you are? Or women who suddenly started wearing a lot of flannel and styling their hair in a mullet, because they realised they like women and I have think, "All right I get that you're attracted to women, but why the sudden mullet and flannel?"

I have my own posing and idiosyncrasies (I write in British English despite living in the Midwest), so I'm not passing judgement, I just find it odd. I suppose because many of these people aren't willing to admit that its simply a style choice they've made too suit the "new" them and not some deeper reflection of themselves.

Yeah, more of a "fashion statement" rather than a "self" statement. I wish more people understood that. I mean, I do enjoy and have fun with all the "outer fringes" and all the excesses and "camp" of being gay, or the "stereotype" (if you like) of how the world out there sees us. I mean, I can go along with that and have a good laugh. I think it's important to be able to laugh at oneself once in a while. Personally, I tend to (or try to) look at the humorous side of life as much as I can. At the same time, that doesn't mean I'm going to compromise who I am. Maybe that's an advantage we have vs heterosexualilty. I still think we're more stable in that respect.

 

[Equinoxe]

Yeah, more of a "fashion statement" rather than a "self" statement. I wish more people understood that. I mean, I do enjoy and have fun with all the "outer fringes" and all the excesses and "camp" of being gay, or the "stereotype" (if you like) of how the world out there sees us. I mean, I can go along with that and have a good laugh. I think it's important to be able to laugh at oneself once in a while. Personally, I tend to (or try to) look at the humorous side of life as much as I can. At the same time, that doesn't mean I'm going to compromise who I am. Maybe that's an advantage we have vs heterosexualilty. I still think we're more stable in that respect.

Yes, I think there is definitely an element of it that is fun-loving, I just think people often make it into something a lot "deeper" than it actually is. It's really a contrived self-styling and I know about contrived self-styling-- I still have the black lipstick and mesh tops to prove it.

 

[Raimondin]

Yes, I think there is definitely an element of it that is fun-loving, I just think people often make it into something a lot "deeper" than it actually is. It's really a contrived self-styling and I know about contrived self-styling-- I still have the black lipstick and mesh tops to prove it.

Ha! And I still have in the closet (no pun intended) my "Rocky Horror Picture Show" corsette!
Thanks! For the great chat!

 

[Equinoxe]

Ha! And I still have in the closet (no pun intended) my "Rocky Horror Picture Show" corsette!
Thanks! For the great chat!

You are very welcome, thank you.

 

[Never]

Equinoxe:
"I've always felt that flamingly effeminate gay men and butch lesbians were putting on a show in contrived sort of reaction against (and ironically emulation of) straight culture."

Why do you think this?

 

[Equinoxe]

Equinoxe:
"I've always felt that flamingly effeminate gay men and butch lesbians were putting on a show in contrived sort of reaction against (and ironically emulation of) straight culture."

Why do you think this?

In part because gender identity and sexual orientation are two purely different things: a lesbian is still a woman, not a woman pretending to be like a man (which is exactly what many, though not all, butch lesbians are). However, I said above from observation, I've known men who realised they were gay and suddenly started acting that way and likewise I've known women who realised they were lesbians and affected all the stereotypes.

I should have said that I think that many people are that way, but I made the mistake of generalising.

 

[Never]

Let me clarify, butches are women pretending to be men? They're engaging in an act of make believe in which they are men?

 

[Equinoxe]

Let me clarify, butches are women pretending to be men?

Not exactly, I find that most butches are women who have affected many of the cultural concepts of masculinity.

They are not pretending to be men, in any manner like a crossdresser might, they are acting intentionally in what society views as a masculine manner.

 

[Never]

So, non-butch women are not intentionally acting in a feminine manner?

 

[Equinoxe]

So, non-butch women are not intentionally acting in a feminine manner?

On a lesser level they are doing it intentionally, however, as we are all shaped by society it somewhat more natural, for lack of a better word.

 

[Never]

I am glad RS didn't meet you first.

 

[Equinoxe]

I beg your pardon?