Are you a "performative" writer?

[PennyThompson]

I don't think I could date a writer, they would want me to read their wips and give them constructive feedback and that sounds like a nightmare for both of us

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

I don't think I could date a writer, they would want me to read their wips and give them constructive feedback and that sounds like a nightmare for both of us

Erotic horror is a valid genre...

 

[StillStunned]

I don't think I could date a writer, they would want me to read their wips and give them constructive feedback and that sounds like a nightmare for both of us

Or edit them....

 

[PennyThompson]

Erotic horror is a valid genre...

And then he sat and watched me. He watched me while I read his first draft, trying to divine something from my micro-expressions. I wanted to take a break, but he looked so hopeful, so eager for me to finish it.

"So..." He leaned forward with a wide, inviting smile. "What did you think?"

 

[Erozetta]

A good point, and it raises the question: can two people with completely different tastes in erotica get along?

I get along great with some people who hate dark erotica. *Shrug*

 

[old_prof]

I don't think I could date a writer, they would want me to read their wips and give them constructive feedback and that sounds like a nightmare for both of us

I know this was a joke, but it can actually work. My wife does read some of my WIPs and has given me some very valuable feedback. It is not something that has created problems for us.

Or edit them....

And there is at least one writer here who lets her partner edit her writing.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

And then he sat and watched me. He watched me while I read his first draft, trying to divine something from my micro-expressions. I wanted to take a break, but he looked so hopeful, so eager for me to finish it.

"So..." He leaned forward with a wide, inviting smile. "What did you think?"

The very definition of a S/M relationship; the masochist said, 'hurt me.' The sadist said, in a whisper soft breath, 'No.'

 

[PennyThompson]

The very definition of a S/M relationship; the masochist said, 'hurt me.' The sadist said, in a whisper soft breath, 'No.'

Jesus Christ

 

[MelissaBaby]

I know this was a joke, but it can actually work. My wife does read some of my WIPs and has given me some very valuable feedback. It is not something that has created problems for us.


And there is at least one writer here who lets her partner edit her writing.

My husband beta reads for me, but it’s really just a courtesy thing. He’s useless at it, because he tells me everything is great.

 

[Pookie812]

I was reading an article in USA Today, entitled,"Men are picking up 'attraction hobbies' to get dates. Does it work?"

I suppose the same could be said of some women.

One paragraph caught my attention:

"According to a recent survey of 2,000 millennials and Gen Z-ers, 16% admitted to picking up "attraction hobbies" − or, hobbies aimed to boost one's attractiveness. These hobbies can be anything: tennis, creative writing, pottery. Whatever you think will make you seem more appealing."

I can honestly state that I never considered whether or not my creative writing (professionally or for pleasure) made me more or less appealing.

What says you?

I could care less how attractive my hobbies are. Besides I have plenty of them, it's not that hard to find some common ground.

 

[Statius]

A good point, and it raises the question: can two people with completely different tastes in erotica get along?

Yes, simple answer.

 

[Statius]

Im here for a creative outlet. It's convenient and definitely not to impress someone in my personal life. I've never had a hobby that was intended to impress someone, always preferred solitary activities.

 

[lovecraft68]

My collection of all things horror is more of an interest to women than people would think

Granted, these women tend to be a certain type, (weirdos like @Erozetta) but I'm fine with that type.

My wife however...not so much.

"No bringing home goths with daddy issues!"

Jeez have a couple of young women flirt with you at one HPL film festival and...

 

[Erozetta]

My husband beta reads for me, but it’s really just a courtesy thing. He’s useless at it, because he tells me everything is great.

Same.

 

[NuclearFairy]

And there is at least one writer here who lets her partner edit her writing.

Unlike @StillStunned my SO isn't a professional editor though.

 

[crookedletter]

I've always been a little self conscious of the Ahem, I happen to be a writer posture. Encountered a few too many insufferables -- the type who may or may not even write anything -- too obviously impressed by how sophisticated their own aspirations are. So even though I don't solely write erotica, I don't talk about even the other stuff a whole lot, apart from with friends I've made in the writing world.

My wife reads my stuff. But she was already stuck with me before I let her read a word, and before I even started writing erotica in the first place.

 

[BellaBestia]

The very definition of a S/M relationship; the masochist said, 'hurt me.' The sadist said, in a whisper soft breath, 'No.'

I used to tell this joke:
Sadist: “so help me, I’ll hurt you!”
Masochist: “so hurt me, I’ll help you!”

 

[BellaBestia]

I only mention it in online conversations on dating sites. If they ask about my hobbies I say that I write. If we’re flirting and they are paying attention they invariably ask me what it is that I write. When I say erotic short fiction, the ears and eyes perk up, and if they ask to read some I send them the link to my author page here. Depending how many of my pieces they actually read there’s two possible outcomes: they become very VERY interested in meeting me or they get scared off and I never hear from them again. Either way it’s a big old meh to me. Only once was he “in the publishing industry” and said I had some real talent and we should meet asap to discuss how he would help me get a publishing deal. Yeah no I recognize a “ step into my van I have candy” setup when I hear one lol.

 

[TheJizzWizard]

Well, yes and no. Yes, because I started writing so to have something to put on my fetlife page, and no as in that didn't work, AT ALL but I enjoyed writing so kept it up and don't even bother with fetlife anymore as I now have no interest in finding a relationship.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I don't think I could date a writer, they would want me to read their wips and give them constructive feedback and that sounds like a nightmare for both of us

We agreed to not do this. Particularly as he’s an English major and I couldn’t take getting an F.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Oh hell no. In fact, the direct opposite. Since boyhood my hobbies have been chick repellents. I built models, which women saw as 'plays with toys' and played role playing games. But I was one of the lucky ones who met a real live woman at a game and married her.
As for writing, if I was doing it for the image or attention, I'd be writing something besides porn, I can tell you. Nope, I've no illusions. I'm someone who writes decently but has few original ideas. So porn it is!

 

[anthrodisiac]

Guy at the bar I'm talking to: "I'm a philanthropist, and I recently donated 90% of my portfolio to fighting cancer in kids."

Me: "I write erotic fiction about magical foxes."

Bartender nearby: "Security!"

Nope. Don't see this one working out in my favor.

At least your foxes are magical...

A good point, and it raises the question: can two people with completely different tastes in erotica get along?

If not, my dating pool just shrank significantly.

 

[anthrodisiac]

We agreed to not do this. Particularly as he’s an English major and I couldn’t take getting an F.

I dunno, I think most of us would enjoy getting F'd.

 

[anthrodisiac]

Exactly one person in my life knows I write this type of erotica. She's been fairly supportive, though the amount of "So, you're a furry? No? You're sure? But what about-" for the first few days was exhausting.

The outfits are uncomfy.

And then literally this weekend (two months into the whole she knows I write anthro erotica thing) she asked me, "So, would you like having sex with a furry?"

I mean...

 

[SimonDoom]

At least your foxes are magical...

If not, my dating pool just shrank significantly.

Well, where dating is concerned, it's not the size of the pool, but the caliber of the fish in the pool, that counts.