Are you bi and your wife, husband or partner does not know?

[HerLittlePiggy]

My wife has not a clue about the wild ideas that fill my head on a daily basis. If I could erase the events that led to my moment of self discovery I would not. If I could tell her without fear of not only rejection but disgust and dismissal I would.

The fact that I am married is the reason I have never acted on my desires. The desires seem to ebb and flow. At times they are very strong and tough to fight so its a good thing that opportunity has not knocked during those moments of weakness and intense desire. At other times it is merely a slight itch that can be scratched with my fingers and some porn.

 

[RPM48]

I am bi but not active bi. I do lust to suck cock and be ass fucked and to fuck other men in the ass and cum in their mouths,

 

[Stella_Omega]

My wife has not a clue about the wild ideas that fill my head on a daily basis. If I could erase the events that led to my moment of self discovery I would not. If I could tell her without fear of not only rejection but disgust and dismissal I would.

The fact that I am married is the reason I have never acted on my desires. The desires seem to ebb and flow. At times they are very strong and tough to fight so its a good thing that opportunity has not knocked during those moments of weakness and intense desire. At other times it is merely a slight itch that can be scratched with my fingers and some porn.

Welcome to the world of a normal libido-- it's the same for straight folk too, honest.

 

[PressNightly]

This is something I've really been struggling with lately.

My wife and I met shortly after high school and while I was quite actively sucking cock at the time I had never really considered my sexuality very deeply. I saw my escapades with other men more as something to relieve the sexual tension while I was between girlfriends than as a facet of myself, something I needed.

We got married young and had my son a couple years later. Except for an all male 3some when we had only been dating a few weeks I have always been faithful to my wife, and I do love her more than anyone else in the world but as time goes on I find myself more and more fixated on my fantasies of doing all sorts of unbiblical things to other men. I'm getting worried that if I ever have the opportunity when I'm really craving the hot gush of cum on and in me, I might not be able to help myself.

I really really want to tell my wife what is going on with me, but unfortunately she comes from a bit of a very religious background, and although she has mostly shed her purely superstitious beliefs she still has the idea that anything other than M/F monogamy is just wrong.

She is open to trying all kinds of things sexually, and we both participate in anal play, with plugs, fingers and my cock but I've always really really wanted to get fucked by a long hard cock. It's the only thing I haven't done with another man, mostly because I never found anyone I trusted enough to introduce me to it.

I guess It'd help a lot if I could get my wife to go shopping for a strap on with me and explore this side of myself with her, but I don't have the slightest clue how to say to her "Honey, I really really need you to pound my fuck hole with a thick rubber cock till I spew my load all over my naked chest."

No matter how much I change the wording in my mind, the conversation never ends well.


It's worse not having someone who understands to talk to. Guess I'll have to try and write some stories, let out some of this stuff I'm feeling.

 

[Stella_Omega]

You say; "Honey, want to ask you to do something for me, and I don't know how to ask this without sounding totally crude... Will you help me get ask this question?"

The idea that you could stay faithful to her if she did this with you might be a strong argument in your favor, just saying...

 

[downforce]

My wife doesnt know, but this girl Ive been best friends with since I was 17 knows. And even then she doesnt know the whole truth. Ive been blowing guys since I was shortly after I met her, but she thinks its just been in the past couple of years. I guess one could say thats its baby steps towards coming out as bisexual to my wife, but I dont know that I ever will. Ive gone 13 years now without anyone knowing, with the exception being this friend of mine. And the reason I told her is because she's bisexual herself, and is into bi guys. Also I started to realize that I needed someone to talk to about it.

 

[Rosie_101]

It's looking a bit like it!!

I'll explore this new side to myself a little more and then bring it to our relationship, probably with a few lesbian dvd's. I know he'll like that and also the way I'll be turned on!!

I'd still love to spend time with a woman though. To feel her thumbs part my lips and the tip of her tongue flick my clit for the first time......? xxxx

 

[Money1969]

My husband knows I am bi. I've told him about all my experiences before we met (I was quite wild in my younger days)

The problem is that he's not into it very much. He has allowed me to bring a couple of "friends" in at times but it's rare.

He will join in if I bring a woman, but never with another man.

 

[Rosie_101]

My husband knows I am bi. I've told him about all my experiences before we met (I was quite wild in my younger days)

The problem is that he's not into it very much. He has allowed me to bring a couple of "friends" in at times but it's rare.

He will join in if I bring a woman, but never with another man.

I don't think I could bring another woman in but I know he'd be turned on at the things I'm finding out that I like.

x

 

[thomash]

Yes...and it's hard not to tell her

 

[boredVAwife]

I was bi long before I married (are we bi from birth?) my husband and kept it secret for years. I did not however stop being with women. Should I have stopped? Yes or divorced or whatever but that isn't the issue from the OP. I did not tell for years and when I did finally let it all come to light it started an absolute world class shit storm. My husband went from disbelief to rage to feeling betrayed to feeling inadequate to any number of other emotions. He is not an emotion expressing man and to go thru all of that was pure hell for him. In hind sight I so badly wish I had been more forthcoming (honest is not the right word because I did not lie to him when we married) about my sexuality. I feel better about not hiding anymore but I have lost my marriage and lost someone's trust. I would simply say ask yourself a difficult question and answer with gut wrenching honesty: Would I feel betrayed if my spouse told me what I need to tell them? Leave sex and fantasies OUT of your answer because believe me when it hits the fan those emotions will be nowhere in sight. If it will ruin a marriage you have some soul searching to do. If the relationship will survive and become stronger than you are in a good place but please be sure of what you are doing before hand. If it is a deal breaker or even COULD be......maybe keep those fantasies just that and stay with the one you love.

 

[ncbymail]

I am bi and even though I told my wife last year that I'd like to have sex with men I don't think she really believed I do it. I do it and have done it for the last 7 years. She lost interest in sex about 8 years ago...never had craved it like I do. I waited, asked, got mad, waited more then I started getting BJs from men. A few years later and I was giving them. Last year I got my ass fucked and really liked it, I've topped 3 guys before that.
When I told her she basically said she didn't want to know. It shouldn't have been a big surprize to her because I used the 'fantasy' of catching her fucking and ending up with me sucking the guy that fucked her.
I don't think if she truely found out she freak out...but I can't be sure. I do love her and have for almost 40 years so I don't want a divorce, I just want to have sex. Sex that involves, a big dick in my mouth or ass or visa versa.
I am jealous of you guys that have a suck buddy. I have one guy that I've had sex with 5 or 6 times over 2 or 3 years.
I am always amazed at how many bi married people there are and judging from the reponses here most of us are hiding it.

 

[spawnofdavey]

I watch a lot of bi porn... Married with child, wife has no idea and would freak if she knew...

 

[Rosie_101]

I was bi long before I married (are we bi from birth?) my husband and kept it secret for years. I did not however stop being with women. Should I have stopped? Yes or divorced or whatever but that isn't the issue from the OP. I did not tell for years and when I did finally let it all come to light it started an absolute world class shit storm. My husband went from disbelief to rage to feeling betrayed to feeling inadequate to any number of other emotions. He is not an emotion expressing man and to go thru all of that was pure hell for him. In hind sight I so badly wish I had been more forthcoming (honest is not the right word because I did not lie to him when we married) about my sexuality. I feel better about not hiding anymore but I have lost my marriage and lost someone's trust. I would simply say ask yourself a difficult question and answer with gut wrenching honesty: Would I feel betrayed if my spouse told me what I need to tell them? Leave sex and fantasies OUT of your answer because believe me when it hits the fan those emotions will be nowhere in sight. If it will ruin a marriage you have some soul searching to do. If the relationship will survive and become stronger than you are in a good place but please be sure of what you are doing before hand. If it is a deal breaker or even COULD be......maybe keep those fantasies just that and stay with the one you love.

I hear what you're saying, and thanks for the advice. Definitely food for thought there. x

 

[socalbidude]

My ex didnt know. I never slept with anyone else while with her. I did borrow her vibrator a lot though. She had no idea that i was sticking her toy up my ass. I will admit to wearing her paanties from time to time too. I wanted her to know but I never said anything. She probably would have enjoyed sticking a dildo in my ass.

 

[twobridger]

Thanks for Posting!

http://www.cleansheets.com/coverstories/galarza_01.04.06.shtml I find that this explains me perfectly. I'm married and I love my wife very much, but I have an overwhelming need to suck cock. I'm not attracted to men emotionally, just sexually, and then only as a cocksucker. She doesn't know and would be very hurt if she found out, but this is something that I crave and that she's unable to satisfy. For some reason, I don't feel that I'm being unfaithful as I would if it was with another woman. It's just something else that I do with "the guys" like playing football, only sexual.

Very well put, and the Clean Sheets article was a much more detailed look at the sexual spectrum. Thanks for sharing!

 

[twobridger]

Thanks also!

I hear what you're saying, and thanks for the advice. Definitely food for thought there. x

Thanks Rosie...very well stated!

 

[sterculius]

Very well put, and the Clean Sheets article was a much more detailed look at the sexual spectrum. Thanks for sharing!

I failed to mention that I don't accept reciprocation from the men whose cocks I suck. I feel that this would constitute "cheating" on my wife more so than are my own cocksucking activities, since sucking my cock is something she enjoys doing and she is almost as talented and motivated a cocksucker as I am. In addition, it would mitigate for me the deliciously slutty, submissive feeling of being a cocksucker that I find so thrilling and exciting.

 

[zipitup]

Interesting topic.
Bi married here and she does not know.
I like guys because when we get together we are both looking for relief and its really simple...not alot of complex emotions involved.

 

[deucie]

Yes, bi and married......and she's homophobic! a real trainwreck. I gotta get out of this place.

 

[newmikeman]

My wife does not know. She shut me down the one time I tried bringing it up when we were were going out. Now add 20 yrs, 2 small kids, marriage and no sex...

Suddenly, this other side that I've never explored fully or freely wants out. Having an affair with a women, seems like a real betrayal, because I have have to be emotionally involved with women to be with them.

If I was with a guy, this is not necessarily the case, though a friendship would be nice. I mean does it really need to be such a hassle if I want to be on my knees? Or try being on my back for the first time?