ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

[ZRT]

It occurs to me that satin has died laughing a number of times already. Now, it's been quite documented that zombies can appear to be dead many, many times, but I've yet to hear reports of pregnant zombies, so I'm forced to conclude that's actually a cat.

Discuss.

Do not speak thusly of the eternally resurrecting mother of our new lord and savior. He will strive through the newbie areas and progress through the levels and eventually save us all from the darkness.

Unless he's a she, in which case, replace all pronouns in the above statement with their appropriate feminine counterpart.

 

[satindesire]

It occurs to me that satin has died laughing a number of times already. Now, it's been quite documented that zombies can appear to be dead many, many times, but I've yet to hear reports of pregnant zombies, so I'm forced to conclude that's actually a cat.

Discuss.

Cat zombie baby?! Someone needs to make a movie about that. AWESOME.

Do not speak thusly of the eternally resurrecting mother of our new lord and savior. He will strive through the newbie areas and progress through the levels and eventually save us all from the darkness.

Unless he's a she, in which case, replace all pronouns in the above statement with their appropriate feminine counterpart.

*cracking up* It's nice to be recognized for what I am. *shines nails on collar*

 

[JustaNobody]

I have some long-ass hair.... But out of all the pervy messages I've gotten, not a single one about my hair. Weird, eh?

They're saving the really pervy messages for the girls with the long ass-hair.

 

[satindesire]

They're saving the really pervy messages for the girls with the long ass-hair.

hahahahahaeeeewwww!

 

[CurlyKat]

They're saving the really pervy messages for the girls with the long ass-hair.

Hehe, maybe that's why I only get semi-pervy ones so far. Until now, when I reveal that yeah, my hair is really long... it's down to the middle of my back curly (and I mean it's tight spiral curls) and down to the small of my back straight. Now, just watch the PMs come flying in to ravage my poor, poor hair!

 

[Evil_Geoff]

satin, you're effing gorgeous!

 

[ZRT]

Damnit, cannot restrain myself any longer.

This constitutes my form letter for all women possessed of extra-long hair. You can each feel free to individually repost it with 'What the fuck is this moron thinking?'

Your hair so long and curly
Inspires me like growing tree
Would you like man shampoo?

 

[satindesire]

satin, you're effing gorgeous!

Aw, you're so sweet Eggie! Thank you! I think you're effing gorgeous too!

Damnit, cannot restrain myself any longer.

This constitutes my form letter for all women possessed of extra-long hair. You can each feel free to individually repost it with 'What the fuck is this moron thinking?'

Your hair so long and curly
Inspires me like growing tree
Would you like man shampoo?

Hahaha, you are so bizzare. I love it!

 

[ZRT]

Hahaha, you are so bizzare. I love it!

I was contemplating the term 'man-poo', but that had some negative connotations I was looking to avoid.

*bows*

 

[satindesire]

I was contemplating the term 'man-poo', but that had some negative connotations I was looking to avoid.

*bows*

I have a problem with self-censorship. I often write or say something that I think back and later regret because it sounded so caustic/stupid/strange. Either people find me refreshing or too weird to be friends with.

I've gotten better over the years, though, honestly. I think this foum helped...you can't always tell tone in text, so you kind of have to make doubly sure no one can misunderstand me.

Of course, by saying someone has a fluffy cat head for an avatar, apparently that means I'm saying that person is stupid...so no matter what, sometimes, someone out there will misunderstand you.

Or just be an oversensitive arrogant jackass.

 

[sinnocence]

...Of course, by saying someone has a fluffy cat head for an avatar, apparently that means I'm saying that person is stupid...so no matter what, sometimes, someone out there will misunderstand you...

LOL. I remember that. Epic.

I wuv satin. ^__^

 

[ZRT]

I have a problem with self-censorship. I often write or say something that I think back and later regret because it sounded so caustic/stupid/strange. Either people find me refreshing or too weird to be friends with.

I've gotten better over the years, though, honestly. I think this foum helped...you can't always tell tone in text, so you kind of have to make doubly sure no one can misunderstand me.

Of course, by saying someone has a fluffy cat head for an avatar, apparently that means I'm saying that person is stupid...so no matter what, sometimes, someone out there will misunderstand you.

Or just be an oversensitive arrogant jackass.

...was just making another joke, see?

To assault your post with seriousness, though, meh, I generally don't deal in regrets. The thing I bear in mind is that reasonable people will typically give you a chance to explain yourself before flying off the handle. Or they'll consider an explanation if they do take something the wrong way. People are way freakin' oversensitive on the net, because it's a place where they feel safely anonymous to post their deepest, darkest secrets for millions to see, then get all butthurt whenever somebody doesn't treat their precious and unique self with veneration as is considered the due of every precious and unique snowflake these days.

The internet is very intellectually darwinistic- show weakness or perceived weakness, and some jackass is gonna jump it. People who can't deal with that devolve into drama bombs and are generally boring. (See He Who Shall Not Be Named from the recent War of Gentlemanly Aggression.)

Long story short? Let's just say that it pays to behave like reasonable adults, and misunderstandings can be smoothed out.

 

[satindesire]

LOL. I remember that. Epic.

I wuv satin. ^__^

I read that to Mister and he said "So captain fluffy cat head got all butthurt at you for what again?" And I died laughing. Right there on the floor. Really put it in perspective for me.

I wuv you too sweeties!!

*snip*

Long story short? Let's just say that it pays to behave like reasonable adults, and misunderstandings can be smoothed out.

Soooo true!

If everyone acted like grown ups, the net would be a much nicer place.

 

[myinnerslut]

Soooo true!

If everyone acted like grown ups, the net would be a much nicer place.

but then we wouldnt have this thread full of asshattery, which has given me many a laugh since its creation

 

[satindesire]

but then we wouldnt have this thread full of asshattery, which has given me many a laugh since its creation

*sage nod* Good point.

 

[CurlyKat]

Damnit, cannot restrain myself any longer.

This constitutes my form letter for all women possessed of extra-long hair. You can each feel free to individually repost it with 'What the fuck is this moron thinking?'

Your hair so long and curly
Inspires me like growing tree
Would you like man shampoo?

Hehe, way too funny! Just the mental pictures you've instilled in my head now.... "honey, can you come here a minute? I really need to wash my hair!"

 

[Tawny_Temptress]

I've had this one. On what planet is copy/paste whoredom impressive?

post 663

 

[00Syd]

Just received this gem: "hi can u put my number in a bathrm stall?"

My reply: "Sure?"

 

[be_ignited]

Just received this gem: "hi can u put my number in a bathrm stall?"

My reply: "Sure?"

Hah, I've gotten that one a few times.

 

[RawHumor]

Just received this gem: "hi can u put my number in a bathrm stall?"

My reply: "Sure?"

Hah, I've gotten that one a few times.

LMAO

Seriously? Like some guy is that eager to have his phone number spread around?

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Just received this gem: "hi can u put my number in a bathrm stall?"

My reply: "Sure?"

Hah, I've gotten that one a few times.

LMAO

Seriously? Like some guy is that eager to have his phone number spread around?

He must have U.S. Cellular, where all his incoming calls are free.

 

[WriterDom]

This would make a much better sticky than the one we have. IMO.

This was a public comment:

sub/dom poems are all crap poems because bdsm is just a fetish and nothing that affects the feelings necessary for artistic expression.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

This would make a much better sticky than the one we have. IMO.

This was a public comment:

sub/dom poems are all crap poems because bdsm is just a fetish and nothing that affects the feelings necessary for artistic expression.

Yeah. Cos that's the voice of experience.

You know, I wish I could see things from that fucktard's point of view, just to pick through his brain and see how 2 + 2 = 5.

Sadly, I can't get my head that far up my own ass.

 

[WriterDom]

Yeah. Cos that's the voice of experience.

You know, I wish I could see things from that fucktard's point of view, just to pick through his brain and see how 2 + 2 = 5.

Sadly, I can't get my head that far up my own ass.

The poem is in the sticky right now. If anyone wanted to tell him to fuck off I wouldn't mind.

But I doubt that it would change his mind.

 

[WriterDom]

Thanks for that SW.

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=650519