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ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

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satindesire said:
When they are mistaken for women, yes. But generally speaking most of the Bullshit is directed towards women, and that goes for sexual messages AND harassment.
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Maybe I should switch to my big tits av and go post to a different forum to see what I get.
 
th_rio said:
I haven't gotten any Asshats messages here in Lit in I don't know how long. I guess being mostly a lurker has its benefits. However, I get that type of asshat on Fetlife all the time.

It's so damn annoying. People just add me and go to my inbox saying 'Welcome to being my friend" or "I'd like to welcome you to meet me" like I should be oh-so-honored that they took an interest in me.
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My fav Fetlife ones are where they claim to have read my profile and message me anyway, despite being male. Maybe my disclaimer is too subtle, what do you guys think?

I am NOT looking for a male. I have one. Don't need another. Really. Honestly. Not even if you're cute/strong/smart/milkdonculous (from my husband) /whatever adjective you like.
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Vixandra said:
My fav Fetlife ones are where they claim to have read my profile and message me anyway, despite being male. Maybe my disclaimer is too subtle, what do you guys think?
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Well, if they're the first to message you when you change your mind and decide you ARE looking for a man - even before you change your profile to say so - maybe they will get lucky.

I had someone ask me out of the blue whether I lactate. No previous communication. No introduction. Just "Do you lactate?"
 
Sheana_V said:
You would think that on a literary forum the people sending private messages would understand the need to provide fully formed english sentences.

So far as I've heard men don't get very many IM's in general. I get dozens, and perhaps half are worth responding to...
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From what I've heard/read, half your PMs being "worth responding to" is an amazingly high percentage.
 
Vixandra said:
My fav Fetlife ones are where they claim to have read my profile and message me anyway, despite being male. Maybe my disclaimer is too subtle, what do you guys think?
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I also love when the first thing they ask is what my kinks are. If you didn't read my profile and you don't think we are compatible, why are you messaging me?
 
midwestyankee said:
On the other hand, if by "worth responding to" means "really freaking fun to mess with these dildoes' heads" then half is a productive number, no?
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The problem is that that encourages them. Any attention is good attention, and that's why they do it in the first place.
 
3 in thirteen years? Wow. I get about that many a day

They aren't offensive though, just a little presumptuous at times ... "Yes dear of course I'd like to please you especially if I have the challenge of having to make you hard first"
 
Is this an Asshat or just a pathetic loser:

"Craving something like this then?

Bending you over the bed, spreading your legs apart, running my hand over your naked frame. My hand caressing your soft butt cheeks, running around, a tantalising finger sliding up your sweet little pussy, feeling you soaking wet. Bending down and whispering in your ear 'Count each one aloud', hearing you gasp and moan...then thwack, a hard spank, thwack, thwack, more land, making you cry out but you count them all. Then it stops and a hand is touching at your pussy again, juices dripping, fingering your clit slowly, small circles. Pleasure and pain in a sweet mix!

Then...

I'm going to tie you up, your hands behind your back, push you onto your knees and onto the bed. I'll blindfold, you'll be helpless and at my mercy! I'm going to tease, spank, tickle, toy, finger, pinch and play with you for hours on end, however, you're not going to be able to cum. I'm going to bring you to the brink so many times, leaving you so close and yet so far....I'm going to have you begging me, a whimpering, horny wreck...begging, begging me for sweet release. Just as you think you can take it no longer, I'm going to pull your hair and you'll feel my cock finally at the entrance to your soaked pussy. I'll whisper in your ear, "take it all slut" as you feel me bury my cock deep into your waiting slit....fucking you relentlessly and hard, penetrating deep over and over again, "cum for me you naughty girl"...fucking you hard to orgasm after orgasm!!!

Thoughts?"​
 
Emmanuelle83 said:
Is this an Asshat or just a pathetic loser:

"Craving something like this then?

Bending you over the bed, spreading your legs apart, running my hand over your naked frame. My hand caressing your soft butt cheeks, running around, a tantalising finger sliding up your sweet little pussy, feeling you soaking wet. Bending down and whispering in your ear 'Count each one aloud', hearing you gasp and moan...then thwack, a hard spank, thwack, thwack, more land, making you cry out but you count them all. Then it stops and a hand is touching at your pussy again, juices dripping, fingering your clit slowly, small circles. Pleasure and pain in a sweet mix!

Then...

I'm going to tie you up, your hands behind your back, push you onto your knees and onto the bed. I'll blindfold, you'll be helpless and at my mercy! I'm going to tease, spank, tickle, toy, finger, pinch and play with you for hours on end, however, you're not going to be able to cum. I'm going to bring you to the brink so many times, leaving you so close and yet so far....I'm going to have you begging me, a whimpering, horny wreck...begging, begging me for sweet release. Just as you think you can take it no longer, I'm going to pull your hair and you'll feel my cock finally at the entrance to your soaked pussy. I'll whisper in your ear, "take it all slut" as you feel me bury my cock deep into your waiting slit....fucking you relentlessly and hard, penetrating deep over and over again, "cum for me you naughty girl"...fucking you hard to orgasm after orgasm!!!

Thoughts?"​
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He is still sending this stuff?!
You and 40+ other lit ladies will have received it, and judging by the writing style, I have received many from this asshat over the years
 
Sweetdaisymae said:
He is still sending this stuff?!
You and 40+ other lit ladies will have received it, and judging by the writing style, I have received many from this asshat over the years
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Drat, and I thought I was so special. ;)

My answer: "You think like a 14-year old whose palms are raw." Do you think he'll keep writing? It's kind of amusing.
 
Stag - sorry, I was just expressing surprise at the low number, didn't mean anything by it

I don't have a problem with PMs, and yes I post in the playground because Im finding my way around and find it amusing gameplay, is that wrong?

I think people are trying to connect and not everyone knows how to or does it well - so I just let the gauche ones go by me. I don't imagine they mean much by it - I don't imbue them with more feeling than they are worth to me.
 
midwestyankee said:
I'm curious - do any men get asshat PMs like these? I sure don't.
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I get one or two a week mistaking me for female. Most I ignore, some I tell to read my profile before they grab my virtual junk, and some I play with until they finish stroking their little pee-pee's before I finish the convo with a "wow that was great, I'm so glad I am bi!"

One guy accused me of being a faggot that had virtually raped him.
 
satindesire said:
DO IT. :D
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It is nice to see you.

Stag of Oberon said:
hmmm... "I love your writing... " doesn't seem like the start of a sexual solicitation, certainly not explicit, though from a complete stranger it does raise red flags for me.

I suspect you're right.

In that case I guess I should consider myself blessed to have had such nice asshats.
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When I get that line, I always assume it is a plea for feral bushhumping. It's kind of nice, because I love feral bushhumping.

The bushes? They seem noncommital.
 
Different screen name, nearly the same PM as the last one I posted *rolls eyes*

Hi ...

I'm Form-letter Asshat, 66,

6ft, 180, live in the northwest, attorney, investor, nudist, love to see and be seen.

Looking for younger adventurous women who can appreciate a man who knows what he wants and knows how to get it!

Love nude, beaches, dancing...clothed and not, watching, teasing, flirting and being the man you never realized would treat you so well.

I love giving 'n receiving oral, reading erotic stories together, sharing erotic movies, being a bit (or more) naughty in public.

Do you like to be adored, spoiled, spanked, taken and used by your man....?

Show me? It would be fun to find out
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