ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

[marieR19]

Asshat: "Your quote has a grammatical error
It is 'than' not 'then'. In the third quote. Then means 'and then we went to the store'. Than is a comparison."

..... Okay, thanks for the grammar lesson, could you have been a LITTLE more polite about it? How about a hi, or a "just thought you might like to know" or "maybe you didn't notice", or ANYTHING but just a blunt criticism of my sig?

Yeah, I think I'll be sticking with that spelling. I don't give a crap if one word is spelled wrong, and I'm not going to change it JUST because some asshat sends a message like that.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Asshat: "Your quote has a grammatical error
It is 'than' not 'then'. In the third quote. Then means 'and then we went to the store'. Than is a comparison."

..... Okay, thanks for the grammar lesson, could you have been a LITTLE more polite about it? How about a hi, or a "just thought you might like to know" or "maybe you didn't notice", or ANYTHING but just a blunt criticism of my sig?

Yeah, I think I'll be sticking with that spelling. I don't give a crap if one word is spelled wrong, and I'm not going to change it JUST because some asshat sends a message like that.

Umm, yo, asshat? Your critique has numerous errors.

1. No period after the word "error."
2. No comma after the first "than."
3. "In the third quote" is a sentence fragment.
4. The *single* error you cite is not in the third quote; it is in the third paragraph of one quote.

Perhaps you should consider Matthew 7:3:

"And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?"​

Sincerely,

SW
(considered by some to be the Original Grammar Nazi)

 

[missmeow21]

Sweet baby Jesus.

I get the occasional creeper, as does everyone I presume. This guy not only sent me something that did NOT tickle my fancy but after not replying he felt the need to send the EXACT SAME message to me AGAIN. Smdh...wow.

"I am a daddy looking forward to have a daddy-daughter relationship with a sometime obedient and sometime brat kind of girl. Who is willing to explore the extent to which a daddy-daughter relationship can blossom. Where she finally understands that daddy's strong cock is one of the best means to nurture her with daddy's big round cockhead directly placed on her sensual lips to be sucked and pour that baby-making nectar in her mouth. Or at times daddy's big fat forbidden cock sliding in between her perky tits rubbing the sensitive skin as daddy pulls her sensitive nipples. Are you the kind of the daddy girl i am looking for?

take care
DADDY"

Me: Listen here, fuckhead. I wasn't interested the first time hints NO REPLY. So tell me, what made you think the second time around sending me the EXACT SAME nasty shit was going to change my mind? This time I'll make it clear...I'm not interested in "Daddy's forbidden cock" I don't wish to be nurtured by or have your "baby-making nectar" in or around my mouth! So I guess you could say I'm not really the kind of "daddy girl" you're looking for. Sorry, but I would be interested in knowing just how many Yes's you get to this vile shit. Have a nice day!

 

[Ropebunny]

I get the occasional creeper, as does everyone I presume. This guy not only sent me something that did NOT tickle my fancy but after not replying he felt the need to send the EXACT SAME message to me AGAIN. Smdh...wow.

"I am a daddy looking forward to have a daddy-daughter relationship with a sometime obedient and sometime brat kind of girl. Who is willing to explore the extent to which a daddy-daughter relationship can blossom. Where she finally understands that daddy's strong cock is one of the best means to nurture her with daddy's big round cockhead directly placed on her sensual lips to be sucked and pour that baby-making nectar in her mouth. Or at times daddy's big fat forbidden cock sliding in between her perky tits rubbing the sensitive skin as daddy pulls her sensitive nipples. Are you the kind of the daddy girl i am looking for?

take care
DADDY"

Me: Listen here, fuckhead. I wasn't interested the first time hints NO REPLY. So tell me, what made you think the second time around sending me the EXACT SAME nasty shit was going to change my mind? This time I'll make it clear...I'm not interested in "Daddy's forbidden cock" I don't wish to be nurtured by or have your "baby-making nectar" in or around my mouth! So I guess you could say I'm not really the kind of "daddy girl" you're looking for. Sorry, but I would be interested in knowing just how many Yes's you get to this vile shit. Have a nice day!

Ah, I got this one too, about a week or so ago. Bloody asshats. I did read it out to the other half and we near pissed ourselves with laughter, so at least I did get something out of it.

Yeah, I don't think he'll have gotten any positive replies. Probably won't stop him though.

 

[seela]

I never get asshat PMs anymore.

It's a rare day I get a PM at all, but when I do, they're mostly related to something I've posted, or haven't posted, or just general chitchat. I feel so left ooouuuut!

 

[Ropebunny]

I never get asshat PMs anymore.

It's a rare day I get a PM at all, but when I do, they're mostly related to something I've posted, or haven't posted, or just general chitchat. I feel so left ooouuuut!

You get general chit-chat?! Damn, now I'm feeling left out.

 

[seela]

You get general chit-chat?! Damn, now I'm feeling left out.

Given how little I get PMs, the percentage of general chit-chat is pretty high.

The closest to asshat PMs I get are oneliners with questions like are you horny or something. But compared to what people post on this thread, they're really tame and I usually just ignore them.

 

[bluekitsune]

Omg, that took foreeeeeeever to get through lol. I blame school and work, otherwise I probably could have made it through in a day or two rather than a week. Either way, I have to say that this thread is honestly one of the most hilarious things I've ever read, especially when it came to the award-winningly snarky replies from some people. I have never seen trolls dealt with so awesomely before.

On the subject of my own asshats, I've already gotten a couple pm's since I joined. I'm not entirely sure they're asshats, though. Neither are obscene or explicit (although one of them does ask after my "tastes"), and both are well-worded. But they mostly come across as players. Possibly form letters.

I mainly wanted to ask what should be the right type of reply to these kinds of pm's? Basically, should I bother sending back a reply, or just ignore/forget them? And should I be mean enough as to post them here when they could possibly be well-intentioned?

 

[bhndblueyes88]

I mainly wanted to ask what should be the right type of reply to these kinds of pm's? Basically, should I bother sending back a reply, or just ignore/forget them? And should I be mean enough as to post them here when they could possibly be well-intentioned?

For those "not really 'ass-hat' but not really wanted" PMs, you're best off either ignoring it altogether, or just sending them back a very short and to the point message of "I'm not interested". I suppose you could put them here, but I don't think it'd do more than fill the thread. It doesn't even sound like they'd give us a good laugh

 

[littleslutt18]

As if

He wrote: When your current Master tires of you I would allow you to become mine so you are not lost and alone.

What the hell makes him think that master has any intention of leaving. This guy obviously has no respect since he says he will ALLOW me to be his sub AS IF I ever would want to be owned by someone this disrespectful. Ugh

 

[MeekMe]

The first few PMs I got were "hi, how are you?" or any phrase like that. I ignore those. I did receive a message that was asking about some of my posts. After sending a few messages I looked and noticed this person never posted on the boards, though. After a few exchanges (and the lack of me even giving a hint that I was interested in more than conversation) he just stopped talking to me. I finally stopped receiving PMs when I put in my profile that I wasn't interested in hook ups. Today, however, is a special day.

Asshat: one more thing
Meek

* saw your profile and messages..... one more aspect you ought to and eventually will realize u needs to explore to explore D/s would be being with an interracial man..... an inter racial man exploring u in many ways and you'll be fulfilled with ur submissive needs while ur husband is slowly getting cucked

I am not here for a hook up but I am from Midwest


I replied and told him basically I'm not interested and he has no idea what I "needs to explore." The part that made me angriest is that he tried to use D/s as some kind of "well you are new so let me tell you what you have to do" BS.

Also, why can't kids these days spell out "you" properly every time? Does anyone know what cucked is?

 

[Loverskitten]

The first few PMs I got were "hi, how are you?" or any phrase like that. I ignore those. I did receive a message that was asking about some of my posts. After sending a few messages I looked and noticed this person never posted on the boards, though. After a few exchanges (and the lack of me even giving a hint that I was interested in more than conversation) he just stopped talking to me. I finally stopped receiving PMs when I put in my profile that I wasn't interested in hook ups. Today, however, is a special day.

Asshat: one more thing
Meek

* saw your profile and messages..... one more aspect you ought to and eventually will realize u needs to explore to explore D/s would be being with an interracial man..... an inter racial man exploring u in many ways and you'll be fulfilled with ur submissive needs while ur husband is slowly getting cucked

I am not here for a hook up but I am from Midwest


I replied and told him basically I'm not interested and he has no idea what I "needs to explore." The part that made me angriest is that he tried to use D/s as some kind of "well you are new so let me tell you what you have to do" BS.

Also, why can't kids these days spell out "you" properly every time? Does anyone know what cucked is?

You should have told him he needs to explore an English class. I hate the "u" and "ur" too! Hate it!!!

Cucked, or cuckolding, is a form of physical and mental humiliation. Usually done to married men (who sometimes have small penises) they watch as their wives are pleased by a more dominant man. Sometimes it's just flirting, or everything. It is supposed to bring on primal feelings of jealousy, competition, and whatnot.
I'm sure google has a better explanation.

 

[Ahlam]

Mister Hirsute

Here is my favorite recent PM exchange:

Him: Ima very hairy on my chest, back n ass..is this something it turns you on?

Me: Oh lovely! Me too! Does that turn YOU on?

Him: Ur disgusting!!!!!!!!!

 

[MeekMe]

You should have told him he needs to explore an English class. I hate the "u" and "ur" too! Hate it!!!

Cucked, or cuckolding, is a form of physical and mental humiliation. Usually done to married men (who sometimes have small penises) they watch as their wives are pleased by a more dominant man. Sometimes it's just flirting, or everything. It is supposed to bring on primal feelings of jealousy, competition, and whatnot.
I'm sure google has a better explanation.

Thanks for the info. I knew what cockolding was but I didn't know there was a shorter word for it lol.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Here is my favorite recent PM exchange:

Him: Ima very hairy on my chest, back n ass..is this something it turns you on?

Me: Oh lovely! Me too! Does that turn YOU on?

Him: Ur disgusting!!!!!!!!!

*snortchuckleguffaw*

+3 Internetz!

 

[RawHumor]

Yay. I got one.

Would you like me to rub my hard throbbing cock on you now?

Who could possibly pass up such charm?

 

[Vixandra]

Hi ...

I'mAsshat, 66,

6ft, 180, live in the northwest, attorney, investor, nudist, love to see and be seen.

Looking for younger adventurous women who can appreciate a man who knows what he wants and knows how to get it!

Love nude, beaches, dancing...clothed and not, watching, teasing, flirting and being the man you never realized would treat you so well.

I love giving 'n receiving oral, reading erotic stories together, sharing erotic movies, being a bit (or more) naughty in public.

Do you like to be adored, spoiled, spanked, taken and used by your man....?

Show me? It would be fun to find out...

Not sure where I ever indicated I was looking to be spoiled, spanked or "used by your man" here. Also, I don't ever see myself with someone my father's age, its just not my thing.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

Why change the name to protect the guilty. It seems it would have greater effect if the offender was publicly embarrassed.

Because that's the kind of behavior that lands you on this thread (as a "guest") in the first place.

 

[satindesire]

Why change the name to protect the guilty. It seems it would have greater effect if the offender was publicly embarrassed.

That's against the TOS of the website.

 

[Etoile]

Yay, I missed this thread, glad it's back!

The only PMs I ever get are just "hey baby" with nothing juicy, sigh.

 

[blulilacgrl]

Not sure where I ever indicated I was looking to be spoiled, spanked or "used by your man" here. Also, I don't ever see myself with someone my father's age, its just not my thing.

Oh wow! I got this one as well. Ugh

 

[midwestyankee]

I'm curious - do any men get asshat PMs like these? I sure don't.

 

[satindesire]

I'm curious - do any men get asshat PMs like these? I sure don't.

When they are mistaken for women, yes. But generally speaking most of the Bullshit is directed towards women, and that goes for sexual messages AND harassment.

 

[th_rio]

He wrote: When your current Master tires of you I would allow you to become mine so you are not lost and alone.

What the hell makes him think that master has any intention of leaving. This guy obviously has no respect since he says he will ALLOW me to be his sub AS IF I ever would want to be owned by someone this disrespectful. Ugh

I haven't gotten any Asshats messages here in Lit in I don't know how long. I guess being mostly a lurker has its benefits. However, I get that type of asshat on Fetlife all the time.

It's so damn annoying. People just add me and go to my inbox saying 'Welcome to being my friend" or "I'd like to welcome you to meet me" like I should be oh-so-honored that they took an interest in me.

 

[Sheana_V]

You would think that on a literary forum the people sending private messages would understand the need to provide fully formed english sentences.

So far as I've heard men don't get very many IM's in general. I get dozens, and perhaps half are worth responding to...