Be proud old guys!

[13Fantasies]

On behalf of the BGA, we were so proud so host such a festive event for the king himself, @NRJLIVES4ever , but we apologize for the over-exuberant response of our babygirls. Our feathered little one is being plucked in the hospital wing- @Bry1313 kept getting his fingers stuck in the tar trying to de-feather, and managed to become adhered himself.

@13Fantasies I'm glad your balls are still in tact. I sat the baby girls down and explained that if they hang men by the testicles they can't expect to be blasted by their cum guns. They seemed receptive to the conversation and moving forward will no longer choose violence.

It's been a whirlwind of a semester here at BGA! We are really looking forward to what might pop up this spring!

Thank you.

Especially as a chronicler of @NRJLIVES4ever 's sexploiits, I'd hope they see the value I can provide


I'm glad she got defeathered. I know @Bry1313 kept giggling about being tickled...although I'm not sure I want to see that position

 

[13Fantasies]

So we have worked our way up to Christmas Eve. Not surprising to anyone that knows him or follows this account of his life, but @NRJLIVES4ever is a giver. And the holidays are no exception.

This past Christmas Eve, @NRJLIVES4ever purchased and delivered toys and dinner to a local orphanage. His new Lebeda deal gave him extra cash and he hated the thought of anyone going without.

Now, he usually donates to orphanages anyway, but this time, he outdid himself. The kids were full, happy, and in bed early while the nuns and @NRJLIVES4ever filled their stockings and such.

After that was done, the nuns lined up for their annual Christmas train they run on @NRJLIVES4ever . What's that? Nuns are celibate?

Well, the first year of this tradition, a nun that resembled @AmberLGreen approached @NRJLIVES4ever and confessed that it's the one vow she's horrible at. Never failed, but can't stop thinking about it. So she asked @NRJLIVES4ever for help. As it was the giving season, he gave.

They were caught by the bishop and threatened. Always the knight in shining armor, @NRJLIVES4ever made him a deal: He'd stop fucking nuns when priests, etc. stopped assaulting little boys. The bishop, scared and upset, fled from his wrath. And to bring cheer to all, @NRJLIVES4ever started the first train.

After the train is finished and the nun habits are back in place and the stains cleaned, they sit by the fire and listen to his favorite song the rest of the night (and mine too):

Merry Christmas to all...and to all a good night.

 

[13Fantasies]

Everyone went happily to bed on Christmas Eve, including @NRJLIVES4ever . Bit what does he do on Christmas Day?

Maybe surprisingly, he takes the day completely off. Things are closed, babygirls are getting new lingerie and toys to practice for when they meet @NRJLIVES4ever , and sometimes, a brother just needs a day off.

He eats TV dinners, drinks whatever liquor is around the house, and watches Santa Claus porn while slowly stroking his wang all day. He's building up his load for the incredible day after Christmas sales.

Occasionally, as the day winds on, he'll email @sallysparrow23 with his top 3 Santa porn films to train new babygirls in some of his tastes. He thought about drunk dialing @barefootgirl69 to see what store she was visiting first the next day, but ultimately decided a hide and seek would be more fun.

Finally, he watches the news because every now and then it's nice to talk to normal people about something other than his newsworthy wang. Then he drunkenly stumbles to bed, dreaming of his own sugar plums and their tasty treats throughout the night while cuddling his favorite stuffed animal: A sperm whale named Willie.

 

[13Fantasies]

-In best stand-up comic imitation-

Did you hear the one about @NRJLIVES4ever's foot fetish?

One day he was banging this sweet babygirl who had just turned 18 and was trying on bikinis. He wasn't really listening, but something about wanting to please her boyfriend. Yadda yadda yadda...she chose the purple one because it was splotched white after.

Anyway, during this fitting room fuckfest, @NRJLIVES4ever was in this weird position where he was on the floor while the girl twirled like a mix between a trapeze artist and a mobile.

As his head was near the ground, he could see out under the door. What he's saw was a perfect pair of legs from about mid-shin down. Shapely legs and ankles tapering to dainty feet.

He was so mesmerized that he didn't even notice he had smacked the girl on his cock into the wall and rendered her unconscious. He had never been into feet, but if her feet were THIS amazing, imagine the rest of her!

He quickly righted himself, finished on the unconscious girl's face and bikini (like a gentleman), and left the dressing room.

Note: He had come from a funeral so he was in his suit.

He found the woman and....
















Now you know where @barefootgirl69 got her username and profile picture.

So a refresher for those new to the thread or have forgotten the story of how @NRJLIVES4ever first fell for the charms of @barefootgirl69 .


The day after Christmas, @NRJLIVES4ever went to the mall. It was a crazy day full of young babygirls, irate customers, and underpaid staff. He roamed the stores, plowing a babygirl here and a babygirl there like some sex-crazed Old MacDonald on the farm.

Victoria's Secret started his day, followed by a quick trip through the food court where he displayed his Crocodile Dundee joke: "That's not a footlong. -Whips out his cock- THAT'S a footlong."

He ended the early afternoon by running through department stores, leading women on a merry chase through Nordstrom's, Macy's, Bloomingdale's, and more. They all lost sight of him in Dick's because he gave them a red herring in the fishing pole section.

"There he is!" "That's his pole!" You get the idea.


During this, @NRJLIVES4ever saw @Bry1313 and sent him off with a fake trail for the girls to follow. Then, he went back into the mall proper and found @barefootgirl69

He stopped a few yards away and made an awful sound, scaring everyone in a few feet. Most looked around in confusion, but @barefootgirl69 gets scared by loud noises, so she immediately ran to the nearest dressing room to get naked. She was so scared she forgot to lock the door and @NRJLIVES4ever entered. They did not leave again until the mall closed several hours later.

Thankfully, this time @NRJLIVES4ever knew the power of his wild willy and the National Guard was not called. Luckily, he knew mouth-to-mouth after he nearly drowned @barefootgirl69 .

 

[barefootgirl69]

"sex-crazed Old MacDonald on the farm"

LMAO!

This had me laughing all the way through!

 

[13Fantasies]

Now our story comes up to New Year's Eve. Always a favorite for @NRJLIVES4ever because every woman is scantily dressed,drunk, and down to fuck.

This was an especially important year because @NRJLIVES4ever was a special guest with Ryan Seacrest. They shot the breeze and interviewed people from around the world.

As midnight neared, @NRJLIVES4ever had to slip out of the booth. The Babygirl Academy had a special involvement foe the celebration and he had promised @sallysparrow23 he would assist.

Remember the poor Babygirl who had been tarred and feathered? Well, she was okay now and was the Babygirl chosen to suck @NRJLIVES4ever off for the cameras as the ball (the ACTUAL New Year's Eve ball, you perverts!) dropped.

With the stamina of our hero, she had to start well early. The other babygirls made sure to prance around naked and often caressed him while she sucked. Midnight was almost here and he was NOT ready, so he grabbed her head and took care of the situation himself. He heard her gag what he assumed was a thank you and focused on his timing.

As the countdown from 10 started, he was getting close. The plan from @sallysparrow23 was for him to cover the babygirls face as a tiding of luck and joy and blessings for the new year.

But this girl HAD suggested a penis pump for him, so a special blessing on her face seemed a little too forgiving. As the world shouted "2!", he whipped his cock from her mouth. At 1, he finished priming the pump. With the clock and crowd hitting 0, @NRJLIVES4ever let loose!

Instead of blasting the girl in the face, @NRJLIVES4ever 's love fuel rocketed skyward, filling the air and airwaves with the equivalent of a heavy snow. Babygirls and MILFS and women off all ages ran into the streets mouths open like Lucy from Charlie Brown to catch the first January snowflakes. Screams of delight were heard for blocks as the women reveled in the fun and had semen-ball snow fights.

@NRJLIVES4ever rubbed what little was left on the babygirl's face in front of him and gave her a stern look. She nodded in acknowledgement of her past crimes as gently licked the offering from her lips.

@NRJLIVES4ever went home and slept peacefully.

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

I feel like we need to personally thank PWhallen for all the good times we've had in this thread.

 

[13Fantasies]

I feel like we need to personally thank PWhallen for all the good times we've had in this thread.

I forget though: Is he real or is the babygirl real? I keep mixing them up

 

[Deleted member 6607120]

Now our story comes up to New Year's Eve. Always a favorite for @NRJLIVES4ever because every woman is scantily dressed,drunk, and down to fuck.

This was an especially important year because @NRJLIVES4ever was a special guest with Ryan Seacrest. They shot the breeze and interviewed people from around the world.

As midnight neared, @NRJLIVES4ever had to slip out of the booth. The Babygirl Academy had a special involvement foe the celebration and he had promised @sallysparrow23 he would assist.

Remember the poor Babygirl who had been tarred and feathered? Well, she was okay now and was the Babygirl chosen to suck @NRJLIVES4ever off for the cameras as the ball (the ACTUAL New Year's Eve ball, you perverts!) dropped.

With the stamina of our hero, she had to start well early. The other babygirls made sure to prance around naked and often caressed him while she sucked. Midnight was almost here and he was NOT ready, so he grabbed her head and took care of the situation himself. He heard her gag what he assumed was a thank you and focused on his timing.

As the countdown from 10 started, he was getting close. The plan from @sallysparrow23 was for him to cover the babygirls face as a tiding of luck and joy and blessings for the new year.

But this girl HAD suggested a penis pump for him, so a special blessing on her face seemed a little too forgiving. As the world shouted "2!", he whipped his cock from her mouth. At 1, he finished priming the pump. With the clock and crowd hitting 0, @NRJLIVES4ever let loose!

Instead of blasting the girl in the face, @NRJLIVES4ever 's love fuel rocketed skyward, filling the air and airwaves with the equivalent of a heavy snow. Babygirls and MILFS and women off all ages ran into the streets mouths open like Lucy from Charlie Brown to catch the first January snowflakes. Screams of delight were heard for blocks as the women reveled in the fun and had semen-ball snow fights.

@NRJLIVES4ever rubbed what little was left on the babygirl's face in front of him and gave her a stern look. She nodded in acknowledgement of her past crimes as gently licked the offering from her lips.

@NRJLIVES4ever went home and slept peacefully.

It was quite the NYE celebration!! But what happened to Ryan Seacrest? I was so busy with cumshot logistics that I couldn't keep track of him. Someone told me he got hit in the face with a semen-ball and sustained a concussion from the blow.

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

I forget though: Is he real or is the babygirl real? I keep mixing them up

I genuinely don't think either of them were real. Which kinda adds to the hilarity.

 

[13Fantasies]

It was quite the NYE celebration!! But what happened to Ryan Seacrest? I was so busy with cumshot logistics that I couldn't keep track of him. Someone told me he got hit in the face with a semen-ball and sustained a concussion from the blow.

Well, he's the host. He had to lead the countdown and then fly on his private jet to LA.

He got a concussion from bowing down to @NRJLIVES4ever 's schlong

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

Well, he's the host. He had to lead the countdown and then fly on his private jet to LA.

He got a concussion from bowing down to @NRJLIVES4ever 's schlong

It's even happened to ME. (True story, not made up)

 

[13Fantasies]

It's even happened to ME. (True story, not made up)

Yes, we know your Lebeda deal gave you a private jet. Show off.

 

[13Fantasies]

So in another thread, @NRJLIVES4ever was giving advice on meeting up with hookers and wham-bam thank you ma'aming them. Seems kind of odd to think of our hero promoting that since he never lacks for variety. Well, every hero has his dark phase.

It was early on in his newfound Daddy phase that he realized that older women can be fun too. Porn was just about money and babygirls were about the body counts and the members following them. He hadn't yet reached his full potential, so he was starting to doubt.

Determined to have some fun, @NRJLIVES4ever found a hooker on one of his vacations to Las Vegas. She looked like a cross between @barefootgirl69 , @morelikeasong , and @sallysparrow23 with the wit and hilarity of @OrdinaryPerson and @AmberLGreen . He had recently gambled at the casino and had closed down the blackjack table.

He bartered about the price and the dirty slut things she was willing to do for bread. After a few minutes, he paid her the thousand dollars and he took her down the dark alley behind a seedy bar. Wasting no time, he tore off her clothes like a man possessed and proceeded to satisfy her as only @NRJLIVES4ever can.

Not only did the hooker feel so relaxed and honored that she gave the money back, but the motion camera sensors broke with how fast @NRJLIVES4ever can slam his salami. Pirated feeds have been sold as authentic over the years, but none have been confirmed so there is still doubt this happened.

@NRJLIVES4ever , ever the gentleman when it comes to the ladies he services like a pussy plumber, has declined to make any comment. He just smiles, shakes his head, and changed the subject.

Fun fact: I was on the streets undercover covering the life and times of Vegas hookers. I was the pimp that sold him the girl. Naturally, I was pissed I didn't get my cut, but the story I broke about @NRJLIVES4ever and his wondrous wang found international attention...and I have been chronicling him ever sense.

 

[ZfrkS62]

Did everyone hear that explosion earlier today? Probably heard around the world, but for those that are heavy sleepers, here's what happened.

@NRJLIVES4ever was in the mood to buy some fireworks to help celebrate the 4th of July. He went to a local tent stand run by a 19 year old baby girl and her twin 18 year old sisters.

"Looking for something that packs a big explosion?" the oldest asks. @NRJLIVES4ever just smiles and grabs his crotch.

"Always carry my own dynamite, baby," he says. Well, the girls see his girth through the pants he's wearing and immediately fall to their knees.

They are busy being serviced by @NRJLIVES4ever 's pocket rocket and fail to notice the crowd forming. One poor guy is so satisfied from watching that he lights a cigarette, accidentally flicking ash into the tent.

Fireworks start to fizzle and the crowd runs screaming. @NRJLIVES4ever assumes, correctly, that the screaming is the girls getting stretched and keeps going.

Suddenly, all of the fireworks shoot off, causing a massive explosion. The tent is decimated and the smoke is heavy. When the smoke clears, firefighters on the scene see @NRJLIVES4ever spraying down the fire and the unconscious babygirls with his savior seed, saving all lives in the process.

He zips up and tells the girls, "I hope your insurance covers that." He goes on to find a different place to buy his sparklers and smoke bombs.

Be safe this 4th of July!

I don't know why, but I read NRJ's lines in Bruce Campbell's voice, now that's all I can hear him as

I wish I had found this thread during the summer

 

[barefootgirl69]

@13Fantasies

Has @NRJLIVES4ever expressed any plans for President Day mattress sales?

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

@13Fantasies

Has @NRJLIVES4ever expressed any plans for President Day mattress sales?

I just order bulk from Purple

 

[13Fantasies]

@13Fantasies

Has @NRJLIVES4ever expressed any plans for President Day mattress sales?

Well, everybody knows it's Lebeda. -Shrugs-

 

[barefootgirl69]

Well, everybody knows it's Lebeda. -Shrugs-

I was looking to see if he'd give reviews.

Which ones have the best cushion. Which ones the best bounce.

 

[13Fantasies]

I was looking to see if he'd give reviews.

Which ones have the best cushion. Which ones the best bounce.

Well, I'm sure he will. Meet him at the stores.

 

[NeonSubtlety]

Fuck. I hate that I felt like this thread title was aimed at me.

Time to buy a fucking dodge ram.

 

[13Fantasies]

Fuck. I hate that I felt like this thread title was aimed at me.

Time to buy a fucking dodge ram.

That's originally what @NRJLIVES4ever called his cock.

 

[NeonSubtlety]

That's originally what @NRJLIVES4ever called his cock.

I’d like to take this moment, then, to clarify that I don’t want that dodge ram.

But pretty sick nickname.

 

[13Fantasies]

So @NeonSubtlety reminded me yesterday that not everyone knows all the various names and titles @NRJLIVES4ever has tried out on his cock. Therefore, today seems a good day to recount some of them.

As noted, he originally called it the Dodge Ram. Damn copyright issues.

Second one wasn't very original or inspiring: Poke-her. Followed by his obsession with Pokémon: Poke-she-mound.

His third effort was much better, although still somewhat juvenile: The Schlong of Sasquatch.

As you can see, they ran the gambit from juvenile to copyright infringement to alliteration. He started focusing more on that and I would include them in stories to try:

Wondrous Wang
Skin Saber
@NRJLIVES4ever 's Big Johnson
Dong of Danger
Killer Cock
Pussy Plumber

Once, when an adjunct for a college class on Physics of all things, the coeds had a name for him: The Nutting Professor.

He still plays around with names, hoping to find that one that sets him apart from everyone for eternity. But it will have to be the epitome of the prowess that @NRJLIVES4ever strives for and what women expect.

 

[13Fantasies]

So some of you might not know this, but Leonardo Dicaprio is friends with @NRJLIVES4ever . When you think about it, it makes sense. But how did this happen?

Scrolling through the archives, I found the diary @NRJLIVES4ever kept in the times before he met me. They were not well written and the doodles were worse than Helen Keller would draw.

Anyway, I decided to go to the archives today. It was in the late 90s and our hero had found his stride in getting with the babygirls. Still new to it, but starting to get recognized for his prowess.

One day, he's roaming Hollywood and slams a young babygirl like he was tenderizing a T-bone. After he left HIS growing pains all over her face, she said her mother was in the TV business and invited him to a reunion special.

While there, he met the cast and crew behind the show as well as Leo as everyone called him. They were comparing war stories when another young hottie approached them. They decided to share instead of penis wrestling. (Like arm wrestling, but with your penis).

They both attacked her like two scurvy pirates fighting over and devouring the first orange they've seen in months. The poor girl was ravaged and savaged senseless and both men were asked to leave.

They did and discussed this problem over coffee. How could they both live on the same planet and fuck women like that? Clearly not as a dynamic duo of domination as they had hoped.

Finally, they compromised. @NRJLIVES4ever would take babygirls between 18 and 19 while Leo would only be banging babes from 20 to 25. After 25, it was a grab and growl, no holds barred. Although they found they rarely did that.

Now you know why @NRJLIVES4ever focuses on babygirls the way he does.

The more you know...