Bisexual girls...why is it that...

[Aeradalia]

I have to agree with HotheadKali a little bit... I'm more familiar with reading guys and what is expected than I am with women.

When I do fall for a woman, I've found that I develop strong emotions and a sense of devotion for them quicker than I do with a guy... and it also hurts more when the relationship is over. With guys I seem to guard my emotions better... less likely to be hurt quite so badly.

So as a general rule... I do avoid women unless there is one that does more than just turn my head. Though it's been a while since I've come across a woman like that.

In response to the guys that like 'bi' women for threesomes... can't really hate them too much... without them I wouldn't have nearly as many jokes to break the ice... lol. But seriously, threesomes are usually few and far between... and normally with a man that I am very comfortable with and devoted to.

 

[lilylicious]

. . . I like the idea of letting a relationship go where it wants without too many pre-conceived notions of what it should be. With women, I feel like I have to set out what I want it to be from the beginning to give the straight girls a way out. . .

I haven't really thought of this quite this way before, but you are absolutely correct. I don't approach my relationships with men with nearly the parameters I do with women.

. . . I hate men who think being bi is "hot". . .

I love men who think being bi is hot! However, I don't advertise that I'm bi because it would encourage every perv in a 50 mile radius. That little revelation is best saved for after I've gotten to know him a little better.

Re: Threesomes
You can't really blame men for having the threesome fantasy. They're programmed that way. Well anyway I personally can't blame them because I have the same fantasy.

with another married woman in my neighborhood. we met on craigslist, but when we realized our kids went to the same school, and she taught my kid as a substitute teacher, it could too weird. We'd run together, hike. Always the sexual tension after our one and only EXTREMELY hot encounter. It would have been nice if she was just a little less close and teacher thing was too uncomfortable. I see her with her family and husband, and still get wet.....

I don't know ShyLana - I think that's HOT. There's something very naughty about having a very proper public relationship and then having a very hot private one.

 

[Starra]

I actually totally disagree with the OP. I have been part of a bi women's forum for the past three years and i'd say around 80% of the ladies there are either in, or open to, a relationship with a woman that goes beyond sex. The site has around 9,500 members, so you do the maths. On there, there is proof positive that bisexual women are not just looking for random sexual encounters.

I, myself, have dated many women and had emotional and sexual relationships (so far) with five women since 2000. I am married (my husband is also bi) so the whole reasoning that it's because we're attached to men is not actually 100% true of all of us either. It's possible that the media stereotype of bi women (think Katy Perry's atrociously bi-phobic single) has prompted the interpretation of us as predatory women who will shag anything with no care for commitment or emotional intimacy.

I have, recently, transitioned from having relationships with women to considering those of a more sexual nature i.e. having a 'fuck buddy'/FWB. This is only because i've been hurt so much by women. Falling in love, getting betrayed because i trusted too easily and then, for some strange reason, keep going back to hope that a relationship can work for me. I consider myself polyamorous and have happily loved women whilst remaining totally and blissfully in love with my husband too. Now, it's different. I am capable of loving another, but i don't think it's what i want or need right now. So i have crossed that boundary into the casual relationships area that i always thought i'd never occupy.

As for men wanting threesomes, yes it seems to be a recurring theme. There are distinctions though, i feel. I categorise these men into three camps:

1/ Those who are like my husband and would love to have one, but would never put pressure on their partner to do it just because they are bi. This means they have a 'take it or leave it' philosophy on threesomes and would happily take up the offer if suggested, but don't expect one.

2/ Those who are like the male partners to many of the women i speak to on the bi women's forum; who - when discovering their wife's/gf's bisexuality - immediately jump on the "Let's have a threesome" bandwagon, but reluctantly understand that their partner might not want that the first time they sleep with another woman. These men usually accept their wife/gf exploring further without them, but privately make attempts to convince them to let him be involved.

3/ These men are the worst. The men who simply see a female partner's bisexuality as a toy, a plaything to use and manipulate for them to realise their ultimate fantasy; to have a m/f/f threesome. These guys will demand a threesome from their partner and tell them that they cannot pursue their sexuality further without his participation. Often these men use clever tactics, by suggesting that it is cheating when he isn't there. They are the men about whom i often give advice on the bi women's forum. I usually tell the women to get a backbone and remind him that this is THEIR sexuality, not his fantasy, and that she will not give in to demands just because he says so.


Finally, i wanted to make a point on the 'friend' in public whom is actually a lot more than a friend. I too have done this. Whilst i am very open about my sexuality to friends, i still have some family members who don't know. Obviously my neighbours are unaware as well. Thus, any girlfriend i have had has mostly been my 'friend' in public. This, with the exception of a girlfriend during April and May. I took her to my uni May Ball as my date. This was the first time ever i had been that open in public and she met a lot of my friends as my girlfriend. It felt great. Well, until she hurt me too, but who knew?!

Not all of us bi women want to have sexual encounters only. Whilst i am looking for a FWB, i focus on the friend bit first. I do want to date a woman before getting into her pants, mostly because i'm usually drawn to personality over looks.