Bisexual & Lesbian Moms

[april-wine]

Well, after the knock down, drag out we return to the regularly scheduled thread post....

Personally, my girlfriend was previously married and has two very beautiful children....I have no doubt of our abilities to raise them happy and healthy....My concerns almost always are about the outside world, people are jerks, I just want to protect them from that....The best we can do is to always be open and honest with them, which we have been from the beginning....

 

[sows_ear]

BitterIchor,
I have been thinking this over and I should apologies. Sometimes we have knee jerk reactions to things that are said, or left unsaid. I guess that you do not view you actions or words as being smug or superior. Hopefully we could put this behind us, and walk away, if not friends, at least on friendly terms. Life is way to short to make grudges, and Lit is way to small a world to avoid each other. And I hope that when we meet in a thread again we won't be trying to engage is a verbal pissing match.
Please accept my apologies.

ApplePi, you're right. Any further argument only serves as a distraction. This forum is not the proper place to engage such a childish display of egos. Bitterichor, I sincerely and most humbly ask your forgiveness for anything that I may have said to offended you.

 

[kaboom3d]

Oh my, I missed the mud slinging and the knock down. Is this the kind of foreplay you girls are into???

I might like to join, if we can get to the fun later.

 

[PredatorSmile]

I hope to be a bi-mommy someday, but that's after getting a steady job ( just graduated college with a bachelors degree), convincing Aaron ( The unambiguously bisexual boyfriend, college jock and loveable dude) to settle
down and try the business of baby-making. I say, ten years down the line.

 

[BitterIchor]

Oh my, I missed the mud slinging and the knock down.

I suppose I was the one being "knocked down". Yes, I sure got my ass handed to me for being audacios enough for saying what was on my mind and being misinterpeted for it.

This place really gets on my nerves sometimes.

 

[kaboom3d]

I suppose I was the one being "knocked down". Yes, I sure got my ass handed to me for being audacios enough for saying what was on my mind and being misinterpeted for it.

This place really gets on my nerves sometimes.

Yes those awful roughians, imagine them treating you so. It is clear to see you are the victim. A victim, misunderstood and mistreated, persecuted beyond all reasonable limits. My heart weeps for you, you poor pitiful creature.
Oh, you dear thing, I understand how it can get on your nerves, having to put up with these rough hewn Americans. I admire you for your patience. Imagine the gaul of these rubes to ask you to explain yourself. I just don't know how you take it.

 

[kaboom3d]

I hope to be a bi-mommy someday, but that's after getting a steady job ( just graduated college with a bachelors degree), convincing Aaron ( The unambiguously bisexual boyfriend, college jock and loveable dude) to settle
down and try the business of baby-making. I say, ten years down the line.

I wish you the best of luck. It is a beautiful time of life, be sure to enjoy every moment.

My daughters are grown and gone. But I have so many memories.

Now I have found a beautiful woman to spend my to pass many happy hours with. New and wonderous adventures. Life is grand!

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

As long as there is no cheating or double standard (i.e. that she can sleep with others, but he can't), I don't have a problem with it. Cheating and double standards bug me (along with depriving one partner while giving it to the other).

 

[kaboom3d]

I am THE married woman in this relationship. My husband is fully aware, we have spent hours discussing and talking. As we tested the waters, I made it clear that he had to let me know if he felt the least bit uneasy.
I am happy to report that all is well. I am at Karen's house this morning, the sweet thing is still asleep. Also Karen and I are both moms.

 

[Captain Midnight]

Two cents' worth

I hate to see relationships crash and burn because of a third party, but if all three understand and approve, and all three at least like one another, that's as good as it gets.

As far as the mom thing goes, I've chatted with several bisexual moms (no bi dads so far, that I know of), and they seem to be great with kids -- their biological ones or the ones of their partners. I guess you can be a good mom and/or stepmom or a bad one, and your sexuality has nothing to do with it. And any male could be a father, but it takes a true man to be a dad.

Per a comment etoille made a couple posts back, regarding how she doesn't see how a woman could ever date a man: sad smile. I wouldn't date a man either (even a bgguys' night out), but that has more to do with men's behavior than my sexuality. I just like how women act better than I do men. You date who you really like and care for, IMHO, if said person likes and cares for you and there's some form of physical attraction. There are a lot of women I would have dated, but I never dared ask them out because I was sure they weren't attracted to me.

For what it's worth, I'd probably date a lot of women in Literotica, present company included, if there was no pressure on me for sex.

 

[kaboom3d]

Per a comment etoille made a couple posts back, regarding how she doesn't see how a woman could ever date a man: sad smile. I wouldn't date a man either (even a bgguys' night out), but that has more to do with men's behavior than my sexuality. I just like how women act better than I do men. You date who you really like and care for, IMHO, if said person likes and cares for you and there's some form of physical attraction. There are a lot of women I would have dated, but I never dared ask them out because I was sure they weren't attracted to me.

For what it's worth, I'd probably date a lot of women in Literotica, present company included, if there was no pressure on me for sex.

This is how I feel, women just more enjoyable to be around. I meet my husband some quarter century ago, had a nasty break up with my g/f, she tore my heart out. Wasn't looking for a lover, or a man, but he was just so damn charming, and sweet, compassionate, almost like a woman in a mans body. And I do say, he is still this way. We married, had children, and have a lovely live together. But my primary attraction is to women. I have a sweet friend, a very dear friend, and we have sex. I relish being able to have such a relationship. I believe I may be the luckiest woman in the world.

And yes there are numerous women here on Lit that I would date, women I find attractive, attractive for their personality. A persons personalty is what really gives them that sexual glow.

 

[Captain Midnight]

This is how I feel, women just more enjoyable to be around. I meet my husband some quarter century ago, had a nasty break up with my g/f, she tore my heart out. Wasn't looking for a lover, or a man, but he was just so damn charming, and sweet, compassionate, almost like a woman in a mans body. And I do say, he is still this way. We married, had children, and have a lovely live together. But my primary attraction is to women. I have a sweet friend, a very dear friend, and we have sex. I relish being able to have such a relationship. I believe I may be the luckiest woman in the world.

And yes there are numerous women here on Lit that I would date, women I find attractive, attractive for their personality. A persons personalty is what really gives them that sexual glow.

Congratulations! I know several women who have fallen in love with men and married them, and yet are still deeply attracted to women. I hope you and your husband stay in love all your lives.

And I apologize for misspelling etiole's name. She is a woman I really respect on an intellectual level, and she'd be one of the people I'd date, if only just to go out and have ice cream with.

 

[kaboom3d]

Congratulations! I know several women who have fallen in love with men and married them, and yet are still deeply attracted to women. I hope you and your husband stay in love all your lives.

And I apologize for misspelling etiole's name. She is a woman I really respect on an intellectual level, and she'd be one of the people I'd date, if only just to go out and have ice cream with.

You are indeed a rare bird, a man with a heart. I too would love to date Etiole. She is truly beautifu.
And I dare say you might be a man of some interest, well worth dating. What is your situtation, pray tell?

 

[AlienHunter]

I'm not judging anyone and I've got nothing against lesbians and bisexuals quite the contrary However, I wonder how kids would feel about it knowing that their mom's are lesbians or bi? I think it would blow me out of reality to find that my mom was ... well a lesbian

 

[Etoile]

And I apologize for misspelling etiole's name. She is a woman I really respect on an intellectual level, and she'd be one of the people I'd date, if only just to go out and have ice cream with.

Aw! That is quite flattering - and it's wonderful to be appreciated for something like that. http://www.amanita.net/images/smilies/youloveme.gif

And I love ice cream! http://www.amanita.net/images/smilies/ice-cream-cone.gif

You're still spelling my name wrong, though - but no worries. http://www.amanita.net/images/smilies/haha.gif

 

[Captain Midnight]

Wow, how nice!

You are indeed a rare bird, a man with a heart. I too would love to date Etiole. She is truly beautifu.
And I dare say you might be a man of some interest, well worth dating. What is your situtation, pray tell?

I am not married and never have been. I am in a relationship that I think is on the rocks. She and I met just before she took a job in another city, which made it tough from the start. I'm not comfortable discussing differences and similarities, for which I apologize. If this ends, I would not ever ask a woman to go to bed with me (nor a man either). I still love the little tokens of affection and I really love the respect in a relationship. Somehow, sex can really hurt respect. I must seem terrribly old-fashioned!

Best wishes.

 

[Etoile]

I am not married and never have been. I am in a relationship that I think is on the rocks. She and I met just before she took a job in another city, which made it tough from the start. I'm not comfortable discussing differences and similarities, for which I apologize. If this ends, I would not ever ask a woman to go to bed with me (nor a man either). I still love the little tokens of affection and I really love the respect in a relationship. Somehow, sex can really hurt respect. I must seem terrribly old-fashioned!

Hmm...perhaps not old-fashioned, but rather asexual? There is a growing movement of people who want affection and respect and love but aren't interested in sex. That said, though, if that isn't your thing, then I wouldn't give up on sex forever based on how you're feeling now. Sex, for those who want it, is an important part of a relationship.

 

[Captain Midnight]

Aw! That is quite flattering - and it's wonderful to be appreciated for something like that. http://www.amanita.net/images/smilies/youloveme.gif

And I love ice cream! http://www.amanita.net/images/smilies/ice-cream-cone.gif

You're still spelling my name wrong, though - but no worries. http://www.amanita.net/images/smilies/haha.gif

I'm not judging anyone and I've got nothing against lesbians and bisexuals quite the contrary However, I wonder how kids would feel about it knowing that their mom's are lesbians or bi? I think it would blow me out of reality to find that my mom was ... well a lesbian

Thanks for correcting me in such a nice fashion, Etoile. I don't know much about you as a person (I do like to peruse the liknks). I get the feeling you are in a very loving relationship. If I asked you out for ice cream, I'd ask your partner to come along and chat. I've heard you have another relationship with another person. I'll ask that person's permission before I go out with you.

AlienHunter: I've never been in anything close to that situation, so I don't know, but so many kids live in one-parent or troubled two-parent homes that I'd be more concerned about the parents getting along with one another. I'd be upset if I found out one parent was cheating on the other, or that there was serious marital/relationship discord.

If your birth mom is a lesbian (or your birth dad is gay, or both), the best thing is to find it out up front, and for Mom, Dad, your other mom, your other dad, etc. to talk to you and reassure you that they (the parents) will love you and take care of you, and to make dead sure that you don't get bullied at school or by kids in other places because of what your mom or dad does or believes. Your parents don't ask you to do what they do (as long as it isn't criminal or cruel), they just want you to love and respect them. If they earn your respect, then stand by them and encourage your friends to be nice to them.

 

[Captain Midnight]

With the right person ...

Hmm...perhaps not old-fashioned, but rather asexual? There is a growing movement of people who want affection and respect and love but aren't interested in sex. That said, though, if that isn't your thing, then I wouldn't give up on sex forever based on how you're feeling now. Sex, for those who want it, is an important part of a relationship.

Sex would be wonderful with the right person. If I'm not in love, it's very difficult. If I have issues with the other person, it's impossible.


Please remind me to PM you about some other things in your links. We have quite a few similarities. (However, we do have one difference: I do like TV theme songs and like Andy Griffith Show. Earle Hagen (that's him whistling it) composed for many TV shows and you can probably find one you like -- Harlem Nocturne for Mike Hammer is good.)

 

[AngelofDarkLust]

Okay... throwing my hat in the ring and rolling up the sleeves. Good parents are good parents no matter what. My partner and I are both bi. We have two glorious kids. Our next door neighbors are a mixed race, two gay male couple who co-parent with a same "mix" race lesbian couple. Our princess' best friend has two mommies and daddy was a test tube. I've known "threeways" who have a wonderful life and single parents who raise incredibly self sufficient and adjusted children.

If you are good, kind, understanding and loving... who the fuck cares what your sexuality is. If you're an ass.. you're an ass. I used to work county mental health for kids... fucked up has nothing to do with anything other than your parents are creeps. Sexuality, socioeconomic background yadda. If you're fucked up... so are your kids.

 

[privyjo]

can't let this pass me by

I'm not judging anyone and I've got nothing against lesbians and bisexuals quite the contrary However, I wonder how kids would feel about it knowing that their mom's are lesbians or bi? I think it would blow me out of reality to find that my mom was ... well a lesbian

I am a lesbian and have successfully raised a wonderful 19 year old soon to be 20 year old son. It was not easy as I was constantly being pulled into court over a 10 year time span just so I could retain full custody of my son. Really put a damper on having any kind of relationship on my part though I did have a five year live-in relationship at one point.

I told my son myself that I was a lesbian when he was eight - but kids are not stupid - he knew already that I was "different" - he just wasn't sure in what way. The court case went to an all day hearing when he was 13 and my son was the one who decided who he would live with in the end even though I testified under oath to being a lesbian and -gasp- shared a bed with my partner. My son chose to stay with me because I let him be himself and allowed him to grow into the wonderful young man he is today. His step-mom offered to give him the 21 audio tapes they made of all my phone calls to my son from the age of five to thirteen - he kindly turned her down. My son tells me he feels very lucky to have a lesbian Mom and actually BRAGS about it. Go figure.

Sorry - I am new to the forums but really could not be quiet on this. Perhaps it is not for us to "understand" as much as it is to know and accept that each of us are different. But well - bicurious Moms - yeah - discretion is a smart move.

 

[kaboom3d]

I am a lesbian and have successfully raised a wonderful 19 year old soon to be 20 year old son. It was not easy as I was constantly being pulled into court over a 10 year time span just so I could retain full custody of my son. Really put a damper on having any kind of relationship on my part though I did have a five year live-in relationship at one point.

I told my son myself that I was a lesbian when he was eight - but kids are not stupid - he knew already that I was "different" - he just wasn't sure in what way. The court case went to an all day hearing when he was 13 and my son was the one who decided who he would live with in the end even though I testified under oath to being a lesbian and -gasp- shared a bed with my partner. My son chose to stay with me because I let him be himself and allowed him to grow into the wonderful young man he is today. His step-mom offered to give him the 21 audio tapes they made of all my phone calls to my son from the age of five to thirteen - he kindly turned her down. My son tells me he feels very lucky to have a lesbian Mom and actually BRAGS about it. Go figure.

Sorry - I am new to the forums but really could not be quiet on this. Perhaps it is not for us to "understand" as much as it is to know and accept that each of us are different. But well - bicurious Moms - yeah - discretion is a smart move.

Bless you... and your son
You must be a very beautiful mother.

 

[Captain Midnight]

Welcome to Lit

I am a lesbian and have successfully raised a wonderful 19 year old soon to be 20 year old son. It was not easy as I was constantly being pulled into court over a 10 year time span just so I could retain full custody of my son. Really put a damper on having any kind of relationship on my part though I did have a five year live-in relationship at one point.

I told my son myself that I was a lesbian when he was eight - but kids are not stupid - he knew already that I was "different" - he just wasn't sure in what way. The court case went to an all day hearing when he was 13 and my son was the one who decided who he would live with in the end even though I testified under oath to being a lesbian and -gasp- shared a bed with my partner. My son chose to stay with me because I let him be himself and allowed him to grow into the wonderful young man he is today. His step-mom offered to give him the 21 audio tapes they made of all my phone calls to my son from the age of five to thirteen - he kindly turned her down. My son tells me he feels very lucky to have a lesbian Mom and actually BRAGS about it. Go figure.

Sorry - I am new to the forums but really could not be quiet on this. Perhaps it is not for us to "understand" as much as it is to know and accept that each of us are different. But well - bicurious Moms - yeah - discretion is a smart move.

You are welcome to these forums and I'm glad you spoke from the heart. I can't speak for everyone, but I hope you will post and talk with us. You seem like a very good person.

One question in two parts, if you don't mind: how come his dad and stepmom taped the phone conversations, and why did she offer to give those to him? I have a pretty good idea about the answer to the first part (to get dirt on you), but he could have easily taken the tapes and preserved them as mementos of all the times he chatted with you about the little things which are so important to children and parents. You might ask him sometime if he could turn a "bad" gift into a good gift.

But best wishes to you and I hope you and he have a wonderful relationship!

 

[privyjo]

Wow

Thanks kaboom3d and Captain Midnight. Yes, you make me feel really welcomed and I have been lonely of late. And yeah - sometimes I feel separated from people - everyone involved with the court case, even my ex-partner and my lawyer, had similar reactions to actually seeing and hearing all the stuff - is this for real??!! But it lead to my son and I having a very open parent/child bond and our relationship is excellent. He says I am the one person he knows who will tell him the truth when he needs to hear it even if he doesn't like it.

As for my son turning down the tapes - we felt they were probably "doctored" in some way. Step-mom does not do anything out of the kindness of her heart where my son or I are concerned - she always has an ulterior motive. Also, he said he didn't need tapes to remember our conversations by. I learned of the tapes through my son's court appointed lawyer - quite illegal to tape calls ya know unless BOTH parties are told before hand they are being taped. Doesn't matter if one is a minor either. Minors have rights too. We felt they were doctored because I had to sit in court while step-mom's doctor dad testified he diagnosed my son with a sexually transmitted disease with the implication I gave my son the disease. Funny how that "disease" showed up only in his examination of my son - like my son wasn't seeing a pediatrician on a regular basis! Or that he was required to see court appointed psychologists! You know how it is - homosexual, pedophile - you know how some people think they are the same thing. Good grief - I just sit here and laugh about it all now because it really is ridiculous! Don't get me wrong - I wasn't laughing when all this crap was happening! But wow - to be able to laugh about it now - yeah - life is too short to hang onto crap! Thanks guys for helping me let it all go.

Not sure I am a good person but I do try to be respectful of others and their rights to privacy and to let them be who they are.

 

[Captain Midnight]

Makes sense

Thanks kaboom3d and Captain Midnight. Yes, you make me feel really welcomed and I have been lonely of late. And yeah - sometimes I feel separated from people - everyone involved with the court case, even my ex-partner and my lawyer, had similar reactions to actually seeing and hearing all the stuff - is this for real??!! But it lead to my son and I having a very open parent/child bond and our relationship is excellent. He says I am the one person he knows who will tell him the truth when he needs to hear it even if he doesn't like it.

As for my son turning down the tapes - we felt they were probably "doctored" in some way. Step-mom does not do anything out of the kindness of her heart where my son or I are concerned - she always has an ulterior motive. Also, he said he didn't need tapes to remember our conversations by. I learned of the tapes through my son's court appointed lawyer - quite illegal to tape calls ya know unless BOTH parties are told before hand they are being taped. Doesn't matter if one is a minor either. Minors have rights too. We felt they were doctored because I had to sit in court while step-mom's doctor dad testified he diagnosed my son with a sexually transmitted disease with the implication I gave my son the disease. Funny how that "disease" showed up only in his examination of my son - like my son wasn't seeing a pediatrician on a regular basis! Or that he was required to see court appointed psychologists! You know how it is - homosexual, pedophile - you know how some people think they are the same thing. Good grief - I just sit here and laugh about it all now because it really is ridiculous! Don't get me wrong - I wasn't laughing when all this crap was happening! But wow - to be able to laugh about it now - yeah - life is too short to hang onto crap! Thanks guys for helping me let it all go.

Not sure I am a good person but I do try to be respectful of others and their rights to privacy and to let them be who they are.

You don't have to be sure you are a good person to be a nice person, which you certainly appear to be.

Some of the things you posted in the long paragraph above are astonishing. I'm glad you are able to laugh now.

Sorry you have been lonely. We can't do much to "cure" that, but if you want to chat with any of us, just post here or send us private messages.

Smiles and hugs. Hope you find people you can have good relationships with.

Captain Midnight