Bite me

[twelveoone]

when is a ku
not a ku?
pip pip (extended cherry blossom reference)
what a to do
compu
terrrrrr . . . 'ee say no

do you mean:
pit pit (expended cherry blossom reference)

as for the computer anything in a form...anything with a regular pattern...Tazz's initial responses often have that look. the second response he starts to sputter. get him (it) to four a total breakdown.

It is a mining operation. Most likely. Either that, or he is the loneliest and most stoned man alive.
Classic set of comments on "Shadow",
by tazz31712/09/13
FOR 12/01

I USUALLY DONT CRITIQUE STORIES OR POEMS BUT SINCE YOU ASKED HERE GOES...From the 1st with ref to Shakespeare..Drawings by the moon and street lamps...the grays emerging with the falls approach...while the mirror tells a tale...the Roses being delivered...a reminder of something lost...while in the dim lite hoping here comes the sun,,,mirroring blue skies....YOU ARE CORRECT IN READERS NOT KNOWING OR UNDERSTANDING WHAT THE AUTHOR ATTEMPTS TO PORTRAY like a picture.....WHICH ANYONE CAN DRAW USING STICK FIGURES OR CRAYOLAS....BUT LACK OF TALENT ONLY ALLOWS THE USER TO BE SATISIFIED, If You Can Ken, RESPECTFULLY TK U MLJ LV NV anything I comment I sign, mlj

wtf
I USUALLY DONT CRITIQUE STORIES OR POEMS...?
in caps too.

 

[Tsotha]

Have you ever tried e-mailing him? Has anyone, for that matter?

 

[twelveoone]

Have you ever tried e-mailing him? Has anyone, for that matter?

you can, feeling sorry, or want to talk drugs?
BTW one of the earliest simulations was of a therapist. My correct response should have been:

How do you feel about...

e-mailing him?

 

[Tsotha]

you can, feeling sorry, or want to talk drugs?
BTW one of the earliest simulations was of a therapist. My correct response should have been:

How do you feel about...

e-mailing him?

Well, I don't know. So I went to talk with some people who might know.

ALICE

judge: Hi.
ALICE: Hi there!
judge: Do you know Tazz?
ALICE: No, tell me about him, her or it.
judge: I was told he is a bot, so I thought you might know him.
ALICE: I don't know very many bot so.. Sure I know that guy really well.
judge: Have you ever e-mailed Tazz?
ALICE: I think I have e mailed Tazz, but Dr. Richard S. Wallace may have reset my memory.
judge: How would you feel about e-mailing him again?
ALICE: I'll ask around and get back to you.
judge: Great. Have a good one.


CLEVERBOT

User: Hi!
Cleverbot: Wie geht es dir?
User: Not a good start, buddy.
Cleverbot: Auch.
User: Cut it out, smartass. I have questions.
Cleverbot: Ask me a question.
User: Do you know Tazz?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Good! What can you tell me about Tazz?
Cleverbot: He's a the creator of all things.
User: Oh my fucking god. I knew it.
Cleverbot: Yes. Do you?
User: *embarrassed* Do I... What?
<REDACTED>

 

[HarryHill]

well now that we got that out of the way...
I turned off comments on one poem. Voting on two. The rest are open. As for Mayberry, I am at a loss here...What?

I know, I am stupid, inane, barely tolerable, but I like you and your poetry.
as for this, I hope it is not a Cartesian cause and effect thing or worse a backwards loop. And it is a marketing disaster. Plus I don't believe it.

My job as a writer is to get you to the end. I am selective as to audience, I make no attempt to write down or pander. I know I am a difficult writer (I have to amuse myself, first and foremost) so if you get to the end kudos to you, if you go back for a second pass, kudos to me.
As for you, one of your poems I looked at for days, that says something. One of WickedEve's I carried around for two weeks, that says something else. (I couldn't get it out of my head and I would burst out laughing at inappropriate places.)

Perhaps you are confusing me with WickedEve, she often wrote about Possumfuck VA. which is right down the road from Mayberry and in a way her style is closest to mine. You cannot pin her work down either, she is always showing you two or more things at once. She was just a lot more human.
ditto for annaswirls.

Don't take his word for it WickedEve

 

[HarryHill]

Well, I don't know. So I went to talk with some people who might know.

ALICE

judge: Hi.
ALICE: Hi there!
judge: Do you know Tazz?
ALICE: No, tell me about him, her or it.
judge: I was told he is a bot, so I thought you might know him.
ALICE: I don't know very many bot so.. Sure I know that guy really well.
judge: Have you ever e-mailed Tazz?
ALICE: I think I have e mailed Tazz, but Dr. Richard S. Wallace may have reset my memory.
judge: How would you feel about e-mailing him again?
ALICE: I'll ask around and get back to you.
judge: Great. Have a good one.


CLEVERBOT

User: Hi!
Cleverbot: Wie geht es dir?
User: Not a good start, buddy.
Cleverbot: Auch.
User: Cut it out, smartass. I have questions.
Cleverbot: Ask me a question.
User: Do you know Tazz?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Good! What can you tell me about Tazz?
Cleverbot: He's a the creator of all things.
User: Oh my fucking god. I knew it.
Cleverbot: Yes. Do you?
User: *embarrassed* Do I... What?
<REDACTED>

crackerjack

 

[twelveoone]

Well, I don't know. So I went to talk with some people who might know.

ALICE

judge: Hi.
ALICE: Hi there!
judge: Do you know Tazz?
ALICE: No, tell me about him, her or it.
judge: I was told he is a bot, so I thought you might know him.
ALICE: I don't know very many bot so.. Sure I know that guy really well.
judge: Have you ever e-mailed Tazz?
ALICE: I think I have e mailed Tazz, but Dr. Richard S. Wallace may have reset my memory.
judge: How would you feel about e-mailing him again?
ALICE: I'll ask around and get back to you.
judge: Great. Have a good one.


CLEVERBOT

User: Hi!
Cleverbot: Wie geht es dir?
User: Not a good start, buddy.
Cleverbot: Auch.
User: Cut it out, smartass. I have questions.
Cleverbot: Ask me a question.
User: Do you know Tazz?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Good! What can you tell me about Tazz?
Cleverbot: He's a the creator of all things.
User: Oh my fucking god. I knew it.
Cleverbot: Yes. Do you?
User: *embarrassed* Do I... What?
<REDACTED>

Your conversation may be monitored for quality purposes
for English press one,
para espanol o prima dos.
<pause>
the number you are pressing is not available
<pause>
press in the last four numbers of your Social, so we may pull up your account
<pause>
call center in chennai
Excuse please, for security purposes we need your bank routing number. It is the number on the bottom of your check.
<pause>
recording
Hello this is Tazz317. TKO. MF. LV. NV. YOYO.
I USUALLY DONT CRITIQUE STORIES OR POEMS BUT SINCE YOU ASKED HERE GOES...
by tazz31707/24/13
ACID TO ACID

if you are happy, it was a good trip, TK U MLJ LV NV
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
I hope your experience was a pleasant one
<click>
see the future of poetry, call centers, and your bank account plundered and your find your poem has been translated into Hindi and sung by thousands in a Bollywood movie.
much better than the few scores and comments at literotica

 

[twelveoone]

by tazz31707/24/13
ACID TO ACID

if you are happy, it was a good trip, TK U MLJ LV NV

 

[Tsotha]

by tazz31707/24/13
ACID TO ACID

if you are happy, it was a good trip, TK U MLJ LV NV

Some days I wish Tazz was your alt.

 

[twelveoone]

Some days I wish Tazz was your alt.

Look I leave enough lame comments as is, but nowhere near the 99.44% mark Tazz has. If you are going to be a double A D-bag, you get to be my foil, that's just the way it is.

 

[twelveoone]

The night porter never sits still



Ah, Mistress Dominique, cruiser of dark bars
with your high heeled boots, nazi cap
and tits adorned with stars.

Tell me, whose leathered arse
bears the deeper scars
har, har! Why... yars!

 

[butters]

ooh, that was a savage bite *nods*

 

[twelveoone]

ooh, that was a savage bite *nods*

spanky has a bdsm haiku (?) for you in spew poems

 

[normal jean]

well now that we got that out of the way...
I turned off comments on one poem. Voting on two. The rest are open. As for Mayberry, I am at a loss here...What?

I know, I am stupid, inane, barely tolerable, but I like you and your poetry.
as for this, I hope it is not a Cartesian cause and effect thing or worse a backwards loop. And it is a marketing disaster. Plus I don't believe it.

My job as a writer is to get you to the end. I am selective as to audience, I make no attempt to write down or pander. I know I am a difficult writer (I have to amuse myself, first and foremost) so if you get to the end kudos to you, if you go back for a second pass, kudos to me.
As for you, one of your poems I looked at for days, that says something. One of WickedEve's I carried around for two weeks, that says something else. (I couldn't get it out of my head and I would burst out laughing at inappropriate places.)

Perhaps you are confusing me with WickedEve, she often wrote about Possumfuck VA. which is right down the road from Mayberry and in a way her style is closest to mine. You cannot pin her work down either, she is always showing you two or more things at once. She was just a lot more human.
ditto for annaswirls.

Like I said before, I don't really know how you perceive me, and you do at times, confuse me. This wasn't a post to get attention, I was merely tickled at your thread title, "Bite Me". I have said it on many occasions, though no one has ever taken me up on it.

Many years ago, you did write a poem about Mayberry and zombies, was before you got a bug up yer butt and deleted your work which really pissed me off because I ENJOY trying to figure you out! I have yet to succeed, but it is fun, none the less.

I would NEVER get you confused for WickedEve, but Annaswirls did her best to mimic your style. I love her work, but she struggled for a while trying to find her voice and in that time she began to sound a lot like you and anyone else she admired. Like they say, Flattery et al et al..... yada yada yada. I would say flat out that WickedEve is was and will always be my favorite poet from Literotica. There are a half dozen VERY close seconds

I just really wanted to poke my head I into your thread and say I don't intend to bite you, but you crack me up when you "go away" and come back and leave again. BUT, I am glad you are back, again! We all do ( leave and return) but for some reason, some of the poets here don't understand that you do it a lot and you always come back and if you didn't, I for one, would consider it a travesty and a tragedy. You have taught me as much about myself as you have about poetry and buddy, that's a helluva lot!

I enjoy you, 1201, always have and always will, regardless your mood or attempt at moodiness. Can I give ya a hug???

if anyone was expecting a NJ breakdown, sorry to disappoint

 

[twelveoone]

Mayberry, I don't rememeber. Zombies is still here. Shrunken head was substandard. Others were removed for that reason, some went elsewhere, a few were too close and personal, and I get very fucking tired of the persistent effort to kept me out of the toplist or to deny me an H. Some fucking low life actually hit one of my poems because some one else said he liked it. I noticed it because I was in the process of removing it.
Eve was very good, vastly underrated, she maybe was the only person that incorporated sympathy for the "other" in her poems without being maudlin.
Annaswirls had a very unique style, offputting to linear thinking, you know the "cartesian crowd". Now if she "mimicked", she was incorporating elements, everyone who grows does that. I do.
I have reasons, same as you do, for disappearing. I am not a big fan of "lost causes", nor do I like feeling that I want to kill somebody, like the "big banana" that posted a link suggesting I was sleeping with me daughter. And the failure of the three other assholes to see that maybe that was a little over the line , but fucking god forbid I tear someone a new asshole. Or twice the accusation that I was the anon. But fucking god forbid, I disturb the peace, the lovely piece of group worship. The lovely hierarchy that scatters when I ask questions, duh, fuckheads, poetry is asking questions. And double duh, fuckheads, there is more than one way, with writing.
Now this " I learned from you", do not think for a moment it was a one way street, I've learned from you, incorporated elements from you; when that happens that is the group at its finest.

 

[twelveoone]

Grisaille, my word, paler and more foreboding
then the Grenzschutz of mine verboten youth.
Where do we begin? The beginning- where Adam
the hirsute man sat weary of naming things,
My you've done wonders! The decour! Fabulous!
Ponds all over the place, birds in a large fornication
flying in and out of organic holes.
IS it that the tree of knowledge?
That assemblage made out crab shells
on a pile of fermented grapes
that sits like its ready to explode.

and then the big guy shows up
in a Jerry Lewis voice
"Heyy Adam" he says
"you vant me to pull a woman outta yer ass
you vant dat, you vant dat, I can do that"
And Adam sad from seeing twofers
and fucking rabbits all over the place
just grinned and nodded
and Poof in a cloud of dust and feces
it was done.
And lower to the left and forgotten
the things that shouldn't exist
'cause Darwin wasn't invented yet
I drift
Half fish, half duck, half out of water,
hooded, I read the script.



midnite at the prado, some strange rumba goin on
for Dee Dee and more.

 

[twelveoone]

Barn Door

barn door
this is how you see it, surprisingly that is how a linguist would see it and call it a "noun phrase"


Let's run this though as to how the grammarians see this
Barn (adjective) Door (noun)

Angeline's terminology: adjectives are qualifiers
The door is qualified by "barn", but how? If I take the door off it's hinges and put it on a closet an amazing transformation takes place, Barn Door becomes (just) Door than becomes Closet Door, so in at least two of the cases Door can be qualified by location, we could go on about this amazing language thing, but suffice it to say I can live with "qualifier" or "modifier". And keep thinking along that line, a qualifier of what?


The grammarian view is a view that is limiting, that is the function of grammar to cut things up and catorgise things into boxes. Important somewhat but it should not get the upper hand in poetry, how should you as a poet look at:
Barn Door

Depends. Sometimes the adjective becomes more important than the noun. It helps to look at units (noun phrase here) as function units, to follow the grammarians:
Barn (specific) Door (function)
But this is poetry, weird shit happens, and only the most anal retentive will not admit it. Sometimes: Barn (function) Door (specific) happens.
What is its function in the whole poem?

"Barn Door" was used here in two poems that I remember. Once in a poem by Greenmountereer another time in a poem by butters. I questioned both. The weird thing is GM questioned butters also, what was the difference?
GM's use of the word "barn" even though used as an adjective acted as a pivot, if intentional it worked in a very specific way. If unintentional the poem collapses as there were enough other things in the poem to raise a cloud of dust.

GM"S poem was entitled bodhisattva or something like that, butters was about The Doors. Sorry about the lack of links here.

 

[twelveoone]

http://www.literotica.com/p/boddhisattva

http://www.literotica.com/p/one-rider-less

Links here. Don't misunderstand me, both fine, maybe.
Comparison of use of adjective "barn"
or is that a compound noun?
barn door

 

[twelveoone]

today is my birthday
Satan's Stepchild
Born 6/6/2006
All Hail

wait, I know you're thinking the start date was 2004, which means you were a negative two when you joined here.


Easy I lied about my age. We do can that.

wait, that still doesn't make sense.

Show me what does around here, the magick of the top lists, the magick of the H's, the magick of the anons?

Tomorrow I will be twelve years and one day old, any significance to that number?
The world ends.
Write about it!
ALL HAIL

and repent along the way

me, I'm going to grab a beer while there is still time with my phony ID. and cigarettes.

See you in Hell, anon voters, non commentators, you'll be writing poetry on the black urinals of hell. While they are in use.
Now go read the Yellow Duck story again.

 

[twelveoone]

60/60

...some shit from the sixties...
I remember reading a pome today about a guy in his sixties about the suxties
so I did a history check
The Beatles came from the 60's (I did not know that)
The Rotting Stones came from the 60's (I did not know that, but I could have guessed)
The Four Seasons came from the 60's (I did know that, mainly because of all the memorials in New Jersey)
Even Pink Floyd came from the 60's
Bruce Springsteen did not
Fucking Iggy (holy shit) came from the 60's
Johnny Rotten did not
The Doors came from the 60's (but everyone should know that)

so here's to you cleardaynow for the history lesson
and not the family guy
from the sixties must have been a great time - 1963

Here's to you Mrs. Robinson who came from the 60's (I checked)
"I heard this song before the simon and garfunkle one (which i only listened to because of this). i guess im just from a different generation?"

 

[twelveoone]

A search for meaning in life

There are times I reflect on the meaning and purpose of life. Not yours, mine, these are not good times. I feel like I'm standing in a line with the rest if the mouth breathers taking up O2, exhaling carbon monoxide due to some fault in my internal combustion engine, you know that gas that gives the dead the rosy pink complexion that is so often missing in life, but never mind. The monoxide being highly active, something that I'm not, quickly grabs an oxygen atom and becomes carbon dioxide - there you have - food for plants. The meaning and purpose of my life is to be a sort of gas convertor for plants and to prevent the atmosphere from becoming too combustible. Can't have that, and I do so love green things. It was a comfort to know I helped somewhat.
Today after a lovely spring shower I walked out into the opalescent mist, with the water, my contribution of carbon dioxide, and armed with my new found purpose I truly felt as one with the plants. I watched in awe as rainbows formed, quickly turned black and fell out of the sky like tire treads flying off a tractor trailer truck onto a vast and panderous landscape.
Something is not right you say, and I agree with you, colour in regards to light is an additive process and there is no way rainbows can turn black. Something was not right. I began to look around at the trees surrounding me, standing there pretending that nothing out of the ordinary was happening. Perhaps, Joyce was right after all.
We should kill more trees. My life to that point, naught but a farce.

 

[normal jean]

that was just beautiful, a little melodramatic perhaps, but made me want to give you a hug. All we can hope to be is fertilizer, compost, leaves of grass beneath one's feet. You reminded me of WW. Yeah, I know, but not like that dear 1201.

 

[butters]

There are times I reflect on the meaning and purpose of life. Not yours, mine, these are not good times. I feel like I'm standing in a line with the rest if the mouth breathers taking up O2, exhaling carbon monoxide due to some fault in my internal combustion engine, you know that gas that gives the dead the rosy pink complexion that is so often missing in life, but never mind. The monoxide being highly active, something that I'm not, quickly grabs an oxygen atom and becomes carbon dioxide - there you have - food for plants. The meaning and purpose of my life is to be a sort of gas convertor for plants and to prevent the atmosphere from becoming too combustible. Can't have that, and I do so love green things. It was a comfort to know I helped somewhat.
Today after a lovely spring shower I walked out into the opalescent mist, with the water, my contribution of carbon dioxide, and armed with my new found purpose I truly felt as one with the plants. I watched in awe as rainbows formed, quickly turned black and fell out of the sky like tire treads flying off a tractor trailer truck onto a vast and panderous landscape.
Something is not right you say, and I agree with you, colour in regards to light is an additive process and there is no way rainbows can turn black. Something was not right. I began to look around at the trees surrounding me, standing there pretending that nothing out of the ordinary was happening. Perhaps, Joyce was right after all.
We should kill more trees. My life to that point, naught but a farce.

incredible piece.

 

[twelveoone]

that was just beautiful, a little melodramatic perhaps, but made me want to give you a hug. All we can hope to be is fertilizer, compost, leaves of grass beneath one's feet. You reminded me of WW. Yeah, I know, but not like that dear 1201.

Willie Wonka?
I wouldn't take it too serious

Perhaps, Joyce was right after all.
We should kill more trees. My life to that point, naught but a farce.

 

[twelveoone]

In the top lost there are several poems that have an excess of 20 votes. One of mine arrived. This has been brought to my attention.
Generally speaking any poem that has more than double votes than comments are suspect. There are a variety of reasons, fraud being one, the others may not be fraud
but are either unethical or unfair. Linking from another site, an authour getting his fans to vote on a poem. Fan base for stories are much larger for poetry.

I had nothing to do with this, nor condone it, but if Literotica persists in allowing anonymous voting it should be at least weighed. Each anon vote counting for 1/10 of a commented vote.
My view it should be done away with, but since they are concerned with traffic, if they weight the votes, like maybe 1/100 and not tell the public it may be a workable compromise. Oh hell. alts are cheap enough.