Bite me

[bogusagain]

The old Battersea Bridge is a wonderful painting or as Ruskin would say 'flinging a pot of paint in the public's face'. The first real argument over modern art. Such arguments are necessary, they stop complacency. I have to admit, Whistler's had a swagger to be admired, simply because he was so so right.

 

[twelveoone]

Melon tits

back to bite me
Twice in one week, I saw "melon tits"
these things do come in pairs
Now how does that work these "melon tits"
since melons are often used as a replacement term for tits, but that would be 'melons tits' a complete and inane udder redundancy
ergo, it must be a cliche, how old? Neolithic?
there may be some possibility for melons but it seems rather limited as:

she beat me about face and head
with her melons of wrath

but 'grapefruits" would be a better word choice

 

[champagne1982]

back to bite me
Twice in one week, I saw "melon tits"
these things do come in pairs
Now how does that work these "melon tits"
since melons are often used as a replacement term for tits, but that would be 'melons tits' a complete and inane udder redundancy
ergo, it must be a cliche, how old? Neolithic?
there may be some possibility for melons but it seems rather limited as:

she beat me about face and head
with her melons of wrath

but 'grapefruits" would be a better word choice

I knew a girl who decided to portray Carol Burnette's character Nora Desmond for hallowe'en one year. She used oranges for her tits.

Check out time 2:46 Very funny!

 

[bogusagain]

but 'grapefruits" would be a better word choice

Or 'bitter lemons'?

OK, she's got small tits but lemons do have nipples, sort of.

 

[twelveoone]

Or 'bitter lemons'?

OK, she's got small tits but lemons do have nipples, sort of.

with her grapefruits of wrath, grapes of wrath, oh never mind, you're british

but smaller still just
grapes

watermelons has potential, but only if you're not ethically challenged
as in
melons????
dey's watermelons

bOOb is a nice visual, but since they come in pairs, bOObs upsets me, offset like that

what in the hell is wrong with the good old fashioned breast?

as in now I lay my head down to rest
to nibble on a grape

oh,oh what rhymes with grape

I'm fucked, I'm screwed

to suck your tender lemon

 

[bogusagain]

her grapes of wrath!
her bittter lemons!
her watermelons!
all may disappear
when sucked to
a fucking conclusion
but heaven doesn't come
in quantifiable amounts

 

[twelveoone]

her grapes of wrath!
her bittter lemons!
her watermelons!
all may disappear
when sucked to
a fucking conclusion
but heaven doesn't come
in quantifiable amounts

damn first creative sucked/fucking combo i've seen in a long time
which reminds me, has anyone ever heard of illiterative verse?

this is Alliterative verse


same principle only at the end of the word, and but the only constant pairs allowed are CK and NG

 

[champagne1982]

Melons/lemons -- It's all anagrammical to me.

 

[Neonurotic]

Melons/lemons -- It's all anagrammical to me.

Rather see sweater melons than lemons.

 

[champagne1982]

Rather see sweater melons than lemons.

For just an instant I swore I read sweeter... hmmm...

They were a pair of sweater
melons but sadly I could not see
nipples round and puckered
but then
I noticed a pair of sweaty Meyer
lemon nipples waiting to squirt sweet
tang right between my lips

 

[twelveoone]

Melons/lemons -- It's all anagrammical to me.

mamagrammical
did you notice tit spelled backwards...not that unusual; but also boob...i see a pattern emerging

 

[twelveoone]

Ask the Poet Goy - A fucking lesson

Now the Poet Goy has been asked on numerous occasions, what is the difference between fucking and fuckin
g
Now seriously, take these two words and say them in a mirror.
With fucking you are baring your teeth, baring your teeth is a sign of what?
So fucking is a lot more aggressive.
g?????????
So what does this have to do with writing? Tone, inference.
g
these are the little things writers have too think about
g!!!!!!
yes really

 

[twelveoone]

continuing on, Comments; in my rambling through the New Poems. I came across a comment questioning the ending of a line with the preposition to, I think I remember the poem as formal, so this is a good question, as it is generally considered bad form to do so. For the sake of a rhyme scheme, it is generally the sign of a rank amateur. If I remember, it was for the sake of a rhyme, however it was the only rhyme in the poem and the effect would be quite different.
I'm working from memory, and I forget the title and the writer. What impressed me was
question?
and then a good defense of the reason for usage
This are what comments are about, and this is what writers have to think about.
Show me you are thinking, two new people (to me) have shown me that in one month
*Scrubber and erectus I applaud you both. (I hope I got your names right.)
while one continues to write as if an IPOD, doing 90mph on a highway.
Pull the FUCK OVER!!!!!!!!

 

[bogusagain]

Now the Poet Goy has been asked on numerous occasions, what is the difference between fucking and fuckin
g
Now seriously, take these two words and say them in a mirror.
With fucking you are baring your teeth, baring your teeth is a sign of what?
So fucking is a lot more aggressive.
g?????????
So what does this have to do with writing? Tone, inference.
g
these are the little things writers have too think about
g!!!!!!
yes really

Good point. Fuckin' is usually used as a throwaway expletive, habit and unthinking, while fucking has feeling behind it.

It isn't the fuckin bastard is fuckin my girl but the fucking bastard is fucking my girl!

 

[HarryHill]

Tell me if I get this right

Anapestic on Tits

Little lemons are best for the use
They don't flop and are sure easily held
You see small and so firm will be best
Versus large and impossible breasts

 

[twelveoone]

Anapestic on Tits

Little lemons are best for the use
They don't flop and are sure easily held
You see small and so firm will be best
Versus large and impossible breasts

go ask one of the metre readers

this is a timing thread

Harry, what's the difference between timing and meter?

timing is everything

the meter costs a quarter for 15 minutes

boy that joke is getting stale

 

[HarryHill]

go ask one of the metre readers

this is a timing thread

Harry, what's the difference between timing and meter?

timing is everything

the meter costs a quarter for 15 minutes

boy that joke is getting stale

..
Just trying to join the conversation... seems my metronome beats oddly on your ear. I'll switch to allegro and just go... away. I've little time today anyway.

 

[twelveoone]

..
Just trying to join the conversation... seems my metronome beats oddly on your ear. I'll switch to allegro and just go... away. I've little time today anyway.

well you are burying my fucking lesson, which may be the most important fucking thing I've said all fucking year

now, what did you think? fuckin neat, huh?

but, it generally is a mistake to ask me about metre
here is a guy to check out John Crowe Ransom he swore he wrote in Iambic, doesn't quite work out that way, scansion always seems to come up different (not me scanning)
if you really are interested, shadow speaking, go find some dried up old poet fuck on youtube, and mimic, find someone that did the scansion on the lines.

 

[twelveoone]

by Anonymous02/13/13
Plot...

The individual who commented above was correct - there's no plot. No substance. Nothing except for a curious jumble of words; utter drivel. As a poet, you would make a good plumber.

Plot...Plot...Plot...or was that plop, yellow turd

Did Dick Cheney need a plot? Actually, he has one. Since when does poetry require a plot?

I think that I shall never see...
oh a plot of land?
or are you complaining about the serious lack of dum fuck stories from me wanker?


and with estranged hand he brushes back his hair
feels some beaten thing in his shirt leaving
and with a sense of bemusement watches it walk away in disgust
and in his mind plays a loop of the same cartoon

Some Last Thoughts

Johnny They say that when you die, your life flashes before your eyes. Like a movie. Only with a better script and better actors. Why do I get the feelin, mine'll be directed by fuckin Tarantino.

Raj That is very correct.I have been there seven times already. Ten minutes into mine, everybody breaks out in song. I now know almost all the words.

JohnnyWell that's fucking wonderful.

 

[twelveoone]

by Anonymous02/13/13
Plot...

The individual who commented above was correct - there's no plot. No substance. Nothing except for a curious jumble of words; utter drivel. As a poet, you would make a good plumber.

a plumber makes more in a day, than you anon probably will make in a year on your writing. It's a safe bet, he will make more than 90% of the "poets" here in a lifetime.

It's a safe bet a plumber will make more in a year than 98% of the "poets" here will make in a lifetime.

The individual you referred to left a rather curious, self-serving and whiney comment partially predicated by the fact I got more attention, despite his opening two threads complaining about the fact, his prose poem was rejected as poetry. His had a plot, thereforth it was a story. His prose poem was better than 90% pf the so-called poems submitted here.

I was pissed at the presumption of the rejection, so I submitted this, testing...

Mythos

Did you catch that, asshole, his was rejected as poetry because it had a plot.

As for your supposition that I would make a good plumber because of that poem, no asshole, that poem leaks. I was rushed and left a few holes.

That poem works only if you have a minimum amont of knowledge. Then you would comprehend that what was set up was being cancelled. Rather quickly. If you had managed to get though the curious jumble, you would see it looped back on itself.

Summed up, god questions man, man questions god. Strange shit happens. Sounds like an epic. Only in mine.

Dog wins.

Neither poetry nor plumbing is my livelihood. Poetry is a hobby? I write a few things to amuse a few people, and to enrage and engage assholes like you.

Poetry is a hobby, like duck hunting.

even in that there is a joke

duck, duck blind

Two years ago, I was legally blind and still managed to hand some presumptuous tarts their heads. This place was once the best place on earth for a wide variety of poetry. Assholes like you anon killed it, just like assholes like you killed my H's, kill my H's, now all civility is lost. I have nothing to lose, do I?

Did you know Anonymii reproduce asexually?
Thereforth you are your own mother.
There just is something wrong with that.

 

[twelveoone]

Anapestic on Tits

Little lemons are best for the use
They don't flop and are sure easily held
You see small and so firm will be best
Versus large and impossible breasts[/QUOTE]

lets take line #3 and so Firm, will be Best are rather unambiguous anapests
You see small, less so, as is They don't flop, all of that is OK

anapests are best when used in a preposition phrase, if done right you also set a phrasal rhythm,
however if you put something that implies a direction it "muddies"
as in

up your ass, generally speaking (or rather shouting) the stress would be on UP

if this was a proctologist telling you a probe was about ready to go in...

anapest

One of the best pieces of advice I've heard in this place came from Angeline. She said something to the effect of:

If it sounds right, it probably is.
of course you do have to say it a few times

some of the best writers in this place don't scan, and one of the most rigid, I've heard referred to as having a tin ear

but why the fuck are asking a plumber (see above post) about this?

 

[HarryHill]

Plumb her depths, Bob.

Just paused here for a moment on my way to new poems.
A few comments that I am sure will be lumber for a new construction.
1. Aren't metere and sonics somehow related? My head whirls with hard consonants, soft vowels, long vowels, and sibilance.
2. I can't think of a fuckin' two after all that Hennesy last night, but it seems to me building a poem is like building a structure. ie: flowing lines or hard angles. Both are pleasing to the eye (and ear and thought) but, you can be sure the carpenter uses a plumb line somewhere before he starts.

 

[twelveoone]

Just paused here for a moment on my way to new poems.
A few comments that I am sure will be lumber for a new construction.
1. Aren't metere and sonics somehow related? My head whirls with hard consonants, soft vowels, long vowels, and sibilance.
2. I can't think of a fuckin' two after all that Hennesy last night, but it seems to me building a poem is like building a structure. ie: flowing lines or hard angles. Both are pleasing to the eye (and ear and thought) but, you can be sure the carpenter uses a plumb line somewhere before he starts.

by jove, he's getting it
now metre as everything else is a judgement call, I paid attention once to avoid it
and remember bees don't use plumb lines nor spiders
now sober up and go comment on my duck poem, it's lonely, neither tazz nor the anon showed, although someone anoned me a five

 

[butters]

Just paused here for a moment on my way to new poems.
A few comments that I am sure will be lumber for a new construction.
1. Aren't metere and sonics somehow related? My head whirls with hard consonants, soft vowels, long vowels, and sibilance.
2. I can't think of a fuckin' two after all that Hennesy last night, but it seems to me building a poem is like building a structure. ie: flowing lines or hard angles. Both are pleasing to the eye (and ear and thought) but, you can be sure the carpenter uses a plumb line somewhere before he starts.

hello, Harry

sorry about your head

that whole 'head whirling with... ' stuff? sometimes it's like that without the alcohol

honestly, though, there's much said here that flies over the top of my head, so i'm left relying on instinct and hoping just a little of the erudite conversation has left a small impression. as a most general point, i'd suggest a writer gets all up close and intimate with your basic building blocks and build organically. i'll leave the more complex autopsies to those who know the scientific names.

by jove, he's getting it
now metre as everything else is a judgement call, I paid attention once to avoid it
and remember bees don't use plumb lines nor spiders
now sober up and go comment on my duck poem, it's lonely, neither tazz nor the anon showed, although someone anoned me a five

kind of like learning the melody off by heart, then realising you can counterpoint with descants and other harmonies of your own making to create ambiance? but bees and spiders seem to get to their perceived point of perfection then toss out the window any further development.

and hello, too

 

[HarryHill]

and remember bees don't use plumb lines nor spiders

Yeah but, they're tied into magnetic lines of force that fill the same FUNction
helps a hellofa lot when they arrive at the correct JUNKsion

Were I a bee,
or a spider,
what words I could write;
in light or darkness
each corner would be right,
but not square.
Angled points that all connect
in lines without compare.

I like that, think I'll submit it if I can think of the correct title.

now sober up and go comment on my duck poem, it's lonely, neither tazz nor the anon showed, although someone anoned me a five

Been there, done that, loved it.