Bleeding During Anal Sex

[Chicklet]

I looked through some of the threads in the blank manual and couldn't come across an answer to my question, so I thought I'd start a new thread for it.

I talked to my ex for a few hours today. First real conversation we've had since we broke up last October. We flirted, we talked sex (neither of us is active at this very minute so it's fun to flirt with each other). Talked anal sex.

He was my first anal sex partner, and was quite experienced at it. Broke me in easily, since it was something I wanted to do.

One of the fine lines we crossed quite often has to do with my masochistic desires, and my ravishment fantasies. Anal sex, in my opinion, has this great element of power exchange. No matter what mindset I'm in, if I've got a cock in my ass, I'm helpless to whatever the person 'on top' of me wants. It makes me feel controlled. And yes, sometimes, it hurts.

Some of the more fun experiences we had (again, I'm a masochist) involved 'forced' anal. Again with the thin line... I always had my words to magically stop whatever activity was going on, but I never used them. I love the feeling of being 'raped' and taken against my will. So a lot of times, even if I wasn't in the mood for anal sex, I would enjoy it *because* I didn't want it. These comments would probably be better understood in the BDSM Forum, but I'm posting them here because I *do* have a question. Patience, it's coming.

There were a few particularly violent scenes we did. One in particular was very painful for me. We were having vaginal intercourse, I was bent over the cushions of the couch, and he shifted to my ass. I tried to push him away, fought against him, because I *didn't* want it (again, I want to specify that although I didn't want it, I did want it BECAUSE I didn't want it... you follow?) I fought him quite sincerely, didn't use my magic words, tried to push away his legs, tried to get away. He held me down, took me in the ass. It hurt. I cried. I finally gave up struggling but I struggled QUITE a bit. It hurt a lot more than usual, and I had a few issues the next day or two.

Until today, he never revealed to me that any bleeding happened.

According to the ex in question, on at least two occasions during our 'forced anal' play, I bled. I don't know if I'm mad at him or not for not telling me before. On the one hand, as painful as it was, I LOVED it. These experiences fuel my fantasies, and are events I imagine when I'm masturbating. They're the kind of thing I want to experience again. If he had told me when it happened, I probably would have flipped out, and used my magic words out of fear a lot quicker during sex the next time.

But whether or not I'm angry at him for witholding that information is a different topic

* What are the dangers of anal bleeding?

* I hurt for a few days after these events. What was my body thinking?

* Is this dangerous, and why specifically?

I didn't bleed after sex, or I would have noticed. A shower and soap washed away any evidence of any bleeding at all. I don't know how much blood there was or anything... I was totally oblivious.

* In the future, what should I do after sex if bleeding does happen, to lessen chances of any infection, or other dangers that I can't even fathom?

* What exactly are the dangers of the person having intercourse with me, if I bleed? Are they any greater than normal intercourse would be? (I feel like sex ed probably covered this, but honestly I can't remember)

Thanks in advance.

 

[silverwhisper]

all the usual issues of possible contamination through open wounds transferred through your circulatory system would apply here, chicklet. bleeding during anal is your body's way of saying, "hey, this isn't fitting, get some lube!"

seriously, if you can accomodate the fantasy but without breaking the skin, wouldn't that be preferable?

ed

 

[Chicklet]

seriously, if you can accomodate the fantasy but without breaking the skin, wouldn't that be preferable?

yes.

i didn't know during the experience that i was bleeding, keep that in mind. blood totally turns me off. i just want to know for my own curiosity, at this time. not that i'm planning on having bleeding anal sex again, just that i want to know what exactly was going on.

edited to add: there are plenty of reasons why the guy's an ex.

 

[silverwhisper]

yeah, sorry--i kinda lost sight of the fact that he didn't tell you (what a schmuck!).

i thought that sounded weird coming from you!

ed

 

[BiBunny]

I'm no expert or anything, but I will say that I always bleed after anal, no matter how much care is taken, how much lube is used, or whatever. I bleed just as much when it's done gently as when it's done roughly. I once bled a little off and on for three days after he used ONE FINGER on me. I've never had any ill effects.

I know that bleeding can be a sign that something's wrong, but I also think some of us (like me) are more sensitive than others. I think as long as the amount of blood is minimal, it's probably not a big deal, though some will probably disagree.

 

[CutieMouse]

Rectal tissue is pretty freaking delicate stuff, and some people get minor fissures/tears more easily than others. For future reference, lube and anal training might take care of that- as in, your partner figures out a way to use lube without destroying the illusion that you are beig forced (takes a bit more wicked mind than your average partner...), and/or you choose to make anal training (with a plug) a regular part of your life when with a partner- which will help the muscles get used to being stretched, and might lessen the odds of bleeding.

Even minor bleeding should mean laying off the anal play for a day or two to ensure there aren't any serious problems; if your'e *bleeding*, there is a risk of perforating the anal wall, which is a very bad thing, so get thee to a doctor.

I know it's lame, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't suggest that the book Anal Pleasure & Health is a wonderful thing to add to your personal kink-friendly library. The author does cover how your body reacts to anal sex/bleeding and the emotional/stress/mental/physical issues around anal sexuality, and has suggestions for listening to your body/ways to avoid bleeding issues.

He really should have told you... it might have wigged you out a bit, but it's a health issue, and it was irresponsible of him to withold the information.

 

[misspihla]

I have couple times noticed a bit blood spotting after anal. Its either that I have noticed it on a toy and afterwards in toilet. There's never much blood or really bleeding.. more like just teared tissue...

I know it sounds really stupid but I have sometimes felt almost proud having had it so rough that I bled. And I dont even think myself as a masochist.

Usually it continues only some tens of minutes and I feel nothing special afterwards. Once or twice next session in toilet has hurted like hell with almost tears coming from eyes.

And I have never mentioned anything to a doctor... could have or should have I guess.

But seems like I'm at least somewhat healthy now.

 

[SweetErika]

One reason a tear can be a big deal is it's very difficult for that area to heal given the strain it's under and the acidic, bacteria-laden environment it's in.

So, with even just a little more strain, the tear can get bigger, cause problems and it often can't be fixed easily like a cut on skin because the tissue is so thin/fragile.

Like you, Chicklet, I'd be concerned and take more precautions in the future (alert my partner, ask that lube be kept on hand and to stop if he notices blood [hopefully you're using condoms, which would also allow you to get him off other ways, even after he's been in your ass - "Since you can't shut up, I'm going to ram my cock down your throat, Bitch!" could be hot. ]).

If the bleeding stops in a day or so, and the pain is minimal/short-lived, I'd consider myself fine, providing there weren't other symptoms like a fever or feeling unwell. Anything more than that, and I'd see my doctor.

Also, if you do find yourself with pain or some bleeding, be very careful about getting constipated or hard stools. Drink tons of water, eat plenty of fruits and veggies, and maybe even take a stool softener if you think things aren't moving because of the pain. Take measures to prevent further problems/injury, basically.

 

[Bobmi357]

Geez you people annoy me. Teared Tissue... you make it sound like it's nothing worse than a scrapped knee.

The anus is probably the one place you don't want to fool around in if it results in bleeding. Find another way of fulfilling your fantasys.

It does take much, even a tear that doesn't result in noticeable bleeding can introduce a host of really nasty bacteria into your blood stream, resulting in everything from a mild infection to septic shock and death. There is a distinct reason why a woman should never let a guy ass fuck her, then do it regular without washing himself first.

No form of bleeding is acceptable from the anus. You got off lucky and didn't get an infection last time. But you're playing with a loaded gun, it's gonna happen sooner or later.

I understand your wanting to play out a fantasy, there is nothing wrong with it. However for the sake of your health, make sure your would be pretend rapist is a considerate pretend rapist and uses as much lube as possible.

 

[SweetErika]

Geez you people annoy me. Teared Tissue... you make it sound like it's nothing worse than a scrapped knee.

Just to clarify, I don't believe it's the equivalent of a scraped knee. I was thinking more the type of tear/bleeding one can get from a strenuous bowel movement (also not good/healthy, but it happens), rather than a lot of blood and/or pain.

Bottom line , you need to take steps to do this more safely, and get injuries checked out, or you're putting yourself at serious risk.

 

[human_male]

This is why I don't stick stuff up my butt anymore, I'm terrified of doing myself an injury. I'm freak the fuck out if I bled from there. If I were you I'd be inclinded to talk to a doctor before this happens again so you can make an informed decision and be aware of the dangers. With something so potentially serious I don't think you should rely on the opinions of the communtiy here.

I hope your next lover is somewhat more considerate to you and your health than to make you bleed repeatedly and not tell you.

You certainly are an interesting person.

 

[Chicklet]

First off, thanks everyone for answering these questions. Sucks I couldn't find them in the blank manual to begin with, but now maybe we'll have some specific things answered here for other people.

Secondly, in response to a lot of the 'play safe' chastisement I feel I'm getting from some posts (not gonna quote anybody) I want to point out that not only did I not feel any tears or any evidence of bleeding, I wasn't even aware after the fact that it had happened. It's been eight months now since my last anal activity, and a year since the last occasion that my ex just let me know there was any blood. There was no blood the next day, or any pain for more than a few hours, or alarms would have gone off in my head. Honestly, I'm rather inexperienced anally so I don't know what is different from the way I feel after anal sex from the way others feel.

As for lube, honestly, none was used those times, but I've only had anal a couple times WITH lube. Usually, unless I'm fighting, it slips right in and doesn't cause any pain. The lube's always handy and ready, except maybe those two times.

 

[Chicklet]

You certainly are an interesting person.

That's what I keep telling people!!!

 

[Reba67]

Did he give you any indication about how much blood there was? Sometimes from a strenuous bowel movement, I do have some blood, but it's just a wee tiny bit (less than a pencil eraser on the toilet paper) and certainly doesn't need any attention other than a gentle wipe.

 

[Chicklet]

no, he didn't really give me the specifics. just that there WAS blood. I remember there being a mess, but i was too squeamish and concerned about what the 'mess' might have been to look at it myself. and, there was no bleeding at any time afterwards.

 

[Chicklet]

Like you, Chicklet, I'd be concerned and take more precautions in the future (alert my partner, ask that lube be kept on hand and to stop if he notices blood [hopefully you're using condoms, which would also allow you to get him off other ways, even after he's been in your ass - "Since you can't shut up, I'm going to ram my cock down your throat, Bitch!" could be hot. ]).

one of the many reasons I'm happy he told me about this is that I can inform people that I want to pursue this kind of sex with in the future that it HAS been a problem in the past. "Oh, yeah, and when you violently assfuck me, i've been known to bleed. and here's the medical reason, and response, that you should be aware of. abuse me, but be educated about the abuse.'

 

[misspihla]

Interestingly all my bleeding cases have happened with plenty of lube. I think it was not due friction but in sheer stretch in diameter - and thus the training now.

 

[naxalite0906]

It sounds like it wasnt anything serious.. But just be careful... if a tear was serious then they are very hard to heal... You cant just get stiches etc and you have to pray for it to heal properly without any aid etc. I personally wouldnt want to risk this happening, but in all honesty, I do not know the chances of this happening either.

 

[Chicklet]

I do not know the chances of this happening either.

now this is something i want to know.

 

[misspihla]

For some reason i doubt proper medical studies exist... Maybe googling for "homosexuality + health" could give some info.

Just dont have guts to google that at work

 

[Guest]

no blood is ever acceptable at all!

If you want to understand this once and for all - google "anal fistula". I am sure you will be more careful next time after reading about it. I am warning in advance, it is very very off putting, so if you are convinced ... don't google it.

I cannot recommend enough the books by Taormino and Jack Morin. It is not only the anal play part, it is about adopting a whole friendly attitude to your butt, and it deserves it!

Those books changed my life.

Maharat

 

[naxalite0906]

now this is something i want to know.

I only say this because I have a gay friend who experienced some bleeding. When he went to the docs, the initial response from the GP was that it will just take time because things like that are hard to fix due to the sensitivity of the area and the anal tissue so to speak (like I said previously). It turned out it was something else causing the bleeding though (nothing to do with tearing) that was a bit more serious, but I guess the message was still there about what happens if there is a serious tear etc. If you think about it though, I would say there is more of a chance of the actual opening experiencing the stretching as someone goes inside you rather than the tissue inside due to the hole being stretched etc so maybe the chances of a serious tear like I mentioned before are pretty low..

Sorry if this sounds like I'm babbling, I'm struggling to try and get the words to make sense but I hope this helps chicklet.

 

[Chicklet]

I have a couple more wonderings:

Is the skin breaking because of friction with lack of lube? Should I be able to feel the heat from the friction? I've had condoms break due to friction in the vagina before, and I could definitely tell that was going on.

Is it breaking because of the stretch? Is it breaking because of the struggle?

Probably only the former lover and I can aswer these questions best... it's just so weird to not have had all the information while it was happening.

 

[naxalite0906]

I have a couple more wonderings:

Is the skin breaking because of friction with lack of lube? Should I be able to feel the heat from the friction? I've had condoms break due to friction in the vagina before, and I could definitely tell that was going on.

Is it breaking because of the stretch? Is it breaking because of the struggle?

Probably only the former lover and I can aswer these questions best... it's just so weird to not have had all the information while it was happening.

As I said before (well tried to..) it is more than likely that it is probably just your ass hole as it stretches. Unless it is used to it, no ones ass will be able to take a cock without some working up to it first. I am guessing that the inside is a bit more accomodating at first, but again, a bit of warming up wouldnt hurt. Ive never had anything in my ass, or had much anal experience so I could never say so for definate.. Maybe the friction could cause something, but I would doubt it is skin breaking, just a friction burn... which would sting, but would probably not bleed and heel quite easily... Thats what I would guess it would be like anyway, maybe I am wrong though.

 

[Chicklet]

As I said before (well tried to..) it is more than likely that it is probably just your ass hole as it stretches. Unless it is used to it, no ones ass will be able to take a cock without some working up to it first.

well we had loads of anal sex without any blood... just bleeding on two occasions apparently. and i use butt plugs and such with no problems. maybe a lil bit of a pinching pain for the bigger ones at first, but it goes away easily. i have a pretty flexible little body.