Boy George On Gay Marriage

[LoboBoy]

If you want to have a monogamous relationship with someone, you can. Don't buy into the BS that two people (especially two guys) can't to it. You can.

I agree 100%!!!

I find this issue quite frustrating. My intention is to spend the rest of my life with the guy I love. Regardless of our sometimes over powering libidos, I have always taken for granted that no matter who we are with, where we are, no matter what state of inebriation, neither of us would even contemplate cheating or stretching the boundaries. In other words I take monogamy for granted in this relationship.

I should say, we are not prudes and have both been around a fair bit (ok...a lot) …it’s just we are ready to commit and WANT to settle with each other.

But in a recent discussion, it seems we had both read the same article in a gay street paper regarding open gay relationships, and how that most anecdotal evidence suggests that couples that fool around with others, have a higher chance of staying together. I know it sounds hot, the “freedom” sounds very together and secure…but to me…or rather, “for me” it sounded like total crap! I have been through HELL to end up with my guy and now to think we have to screw other guys and go home with random men from a club just so we can stay together, is completely ass backwards!

Yeah…imagining him blowing random guys when he’s away for work or him worried sick that I might be “entertaining” at the house while he’s interstate is “surely” going to help our relationship.

The article was put together by a gay councillor and was written almost as an advice piece. Like, “here you go guys, the way to stay together is to fuck around”. It’s almost like in “some” gay circles; the idea of gay monogamy (let alone marriage) is seen as counter-gay.

Deep down I know we can all live any way we choose within our relationships, but having gays telling us gay monogamy is futile, marriage is anti-gay etc It seriously just sounds like the bullshit rhetoric spouted by right wing conservatives who like to paint us all as less than human.

I’m a man, not an animal. I can choose to be true to my heart or true to my penis. If the two have different agenda’s then I can choose. Its called having a mind of my own.

 

[none2_none2]

I agree 100%!!!

I find this issue quite frustrating. My intention is to spend the rest of my life with the guy I love. Regardless of our sometimes over powering libidos, I have always taken for granted that no matter who we are with, where we are, no matter what state of inebriation, neither of us would even contemplate cheating or stretching the boundaries. In other words I take monogamy for granted in this relationship.

I should say, we are not prudes and have both been around a fair bit (ok...a lot) …it’s just we are ready to commit and WANT to settle with each other.

But in a recent discussion, it seems we had both read the same article in a gay street paper regarding open gay relationships, and how that most anecdotal evidence suggests that couples that fool around with others, have a higher chance of staying together. I know it sounds hot, the “freedom” sounds very together and secure…but to me…or rather, “for me” it sounded like total crap! I have been through HELL to end up with my guy and now to think we have to screw other guys and go home with random men from a club just so we can stay together, is completely ass backwards!

Yeah…imagining him blowing random guys when he’s away for work or him worried sick that I might be “entertaining” at the house while he’s interstate is “surely” going to help our relationship.

The article was put together by a gay councillor and was written almost as an advice piece. Like, “here you go guys, the way to stay together is to fuck around”. It’s almost like in “some” gay circles; the idea of gay monogamy (let alone marriage) is seen as counter-gay.

Deep down I know we can all live any way we choose within our relationships, but having gays telling us gay monogamy is futile, marriage is anti-gay etc It seriously just sounds like the bullshit rhetoric spouted by right wing conservatives who like to paint us all as less than human.

I’m a man, not an animal. I can choose to be true to my heart or true to my penis. If the two have different agenda’s then I can choose. Its called having a mind of my own.

When something isn't easy to do, some people dismiss it as not really worth doing -- rather than seeing it as a challange. That is their way of dealing with (for lack of a better term) failure. If we all limited our selves to what was easy, then our civilization would still be pre-stone-age.

Specifically on the subject of gay males and sex, we live in a "condom culture". You don't have to worry about anything just put a condom over your cock (or for that matter your heart) and do whatever trips your trigger for the moment. You don't have to worry about any consequences (desease, a broken heart, etc.) because you have this barrier to protect you.

I never could relate to this part of the gay male world. Sure I had plenty of one/two/etc night stands, but I always had regrets. It wasn't about religious guilt on homosexuality, but rather about not gettting to know who the person was, or how that person turned out. Though not every encounter means heading for the alter, the fact that I got so intensely close to another person and never really knew them always bugged me.

Don't get me wrong, it isn't a piece of cake to be monogamous. I've been with 100's (hopefully not thousands) of guys over 25 years. I've been monogamous now for 3.5 years. I think the fact that we are both 46 means we have a lower sex drive. Likewise we BOTH want this. We still look at porn (pics/stories), but that is it. In prior relationships I wanted to be monogamous, but the other guy didn't want that. (What always surprised me was that I was always the one with the higher sex drive, so it was never a question of not getting enough.) I should add that sex in our relationship isn't the dominating factor. We may go two weeks without it, but very seldom do we sleep seperately. (Sometimes we do because he has to get up very early and I don't want to wake him.) The fact that he is very near my side means a great deal to me. I think that means more to me than getting off. (I guess i need a shot of testostrone to say something like that which I would never have said 10 years ago.) Even in my wildest imagination I couldn't imagine going with someone else -- even if he gave me permission. Not only would it not be right in my head to do so to my mate, I don't think it would be fair to the guy I screwed on the side. He would mean absolutely nothing to me -- just a body. Would this other person REALLY want to be without his humanity -- just a sexual object from my perspective?

I think people confuse intimacy with intensity. Sure it is hot to be with someone when your hormones are raging, but what matters is who you are with day in and day out. The person who sticks by your side. That is what really matters.

When I was young and first trying to understand all this m2m attraction, I met many couples. Unfortunately, most of them were only interested in me because I was young and they wanted sex. Imagine what this world would be if str8's were the same way. A world where no one ever befriended someone unless there was the possibility of having sex. Thank goodness most str8's aren't that way.

I never wanted "gay marriage" for economic reasons, though I think the legal benefits are something to think about. I never even wanted it in order to make a public statement. For me it was more of a religious thing. Perhaps that is weird, but I'm sure I'm not the only one. I really don't have the balls to make such a public statment, but the fact that it isn't even an option really pisses me off.

I remember stumbling across this blogger: http://joemygod.blogspot.com/. I don't know the guy, but some of his stories were very moving. Also he is my age, so I thought perhaps there might be some similar generational ideas. (I wasn't wanting to email him or befriend him, but just try to understand someone else's perspectives on stuff. Well one blog really pissed me off. This particular blog was rather negative about monogamy. If that wasn't enough, he also he claimed that most of the people that critized this blog on the subject were under 35 and nieve. He commented that most over that age had probably realized just how unimportant monogamy was. I never got around to put in my own two cents. I suppose part of maturity is knowing that sometimes it isn't worth making any comments. It doesn't matter what I would say he still wouldn't respect a contrary opinion because he knows what he believes and contrary opinions are of little value... So I didn't bother.

I hate to say it, but sometimes I think the best future for gays is one in which gays are integrated into the culture -- not in some gay urban ghetto. The ghettos we have throughout the world in most cities seem to have replaced freedom from anti-gay repression, to repression from other gays who think they know how the rest of us should live our lives. Many in these ghettoes have lost all perspective on the real world. They tend to think of homosexulity as some kind of "uber" calling when in fact it is just one difference in the human experience. They tend to dismiss any critisim from other gays as being 'internalized homophobia". You'll find gays trashing marriage. You'll find gays trashing raising children. You'll find gays trashing anal sex because it is trying to "mirror str8 sex" and because of AIDS. The list goes on and on.

As I said before it is best to find your own path and follow it. It is very good to have support from other gays, but know who your friends really are. There are some really good people that happen to be gay, but they are usually ones that you won't easily find in the gay world.

 

[LoboBoy]

When something isn't easy to do, some people dismiss it as not really worth doing -- rather than seeing it as a challange. That is their way of dealing with (for lack of a better term) failure. If we all limited our selves to what was easy, then our civilization would still be pre-stone-age.

Specifically on the subject of gay males and sex, we live in a "condom culture". You don't have to worry about anything just put a condom over your cock (or for that matter your heart) and do whatever trips your trigger for the moment. You don't have to worry about any consequences (desease, a broken heart, etc.) because you have this barrier to protect you.

I never could relate to this part of the gay male world. Sure I had plenty of one/two/etc night stands, but I always had regrets. It wasn't about religious guilt on homosexuality, but rather about not gettting to know who the person was, or how that person turned out. Though not every encounter means heading for the alter, the fact that I got so intensely close to another person and never really knew them always bugged me.

Don't get me wrong, it isn't a piece of cake to be monogamous. I've been with 100's (hopefully not thousands) of guys over 25 years. I've been monogamous now for 3.5 years. I think the fact that we are both 46 means we have a lower sex drive. Likewise we BOTH want this. We still look at porn (pics/stories), but that is it. In prior relationships I wanted to be monogamous, but the other guy didn't want that. (What always surprised me was that I was always the one with the higher sex drive, so it was never a question of not getting enough.) I should add that sex in our relationship isn't the dominating factor. We may go two weeks without it, but very seldom do we sleep seperately. (Sometimes we do because he has to get up very early and I don't want to wake him.) The fact that he is very near my side means a great deal to me. I think that means more to me than getting off. (I guess i need a shot of testostrone to say something like that which I would never have said 10 years ago.) Even in my wildest imagination I couldn't imagine going with someone else -- even if he gave me permission. Not only would it not be right in my head to do so to my mate, I don't think it would be fair to the guy I screwed on the side. He would mean absolutely nothing to me -- just a body. Would this other person REALLY want to be without his humanity -- just a sexual object from my perspective?

I think people confuse intimacy with intensity. Sure it is hot to be with someone when your hormones are raging, but what matters is who you are with day in and day out. The person who sticks by your side. That is what really matters.

When I was young and first trying to understand all this m2m attraction, I met many couples. Unfortunately, most of them were only interested in me because I was young and they wanted sex. Imagine what this world would be if str8's were the same way. A world where no one ever befriended someone unless there was the possibility of having sex. Thank goodness most str8's aren't that way.

I never wanted "gay marriage" for economic reasons, though I think the legal benefits are something to think about. I never even wanted it in order to make a public statement. For me it was more of a religious thing. Perhaps that is weird, but I'm sure I'm not the only one. I really don't have the balls to make such a public statment, but the fact that it isn't even an option really pisses me off.

I remember stumbling across this blogger: http://joemygod.blogspot.com/. I don't know the guy, but some of his stories were very moving. Also he is my age, so I thought perhaps there might be some similar generational ideas. (I wasn't wanting to email him or befriend him, but just try to understand someone else's perspectives on stuff. Well one blog really pissed me off. This particular blog was rather negative about monogamy. If that wasn't enough, he also he claimed that most of the people that critized this blog on the subject were under 35 and nieve. He commented that most over that age had probably realized just how unimportant monogamy was. I never got around to put in my own two cents. I suppose part of maturity is knowing that sometimes it isn't worth making any comments. It doesn't matter what I would say he still wouldn't respect a contrary opinion because he knows what he believes and contrary opinions are of little value... So I didn't bother.

I hate to say it, but sometimes I think the best future for gays is one in which gays are integrated into the culture -- not in some gay urban ghetto. The ghettos we have throughout the world in most cities seem to have replaced freedom from anti-gay repression, to repression from other gays who think they know how the rest of us should live our lives. Many in these ghettoes have lost all perspective on the real world. They tend to think of homosexulity as some kind of "uber" calling when in fact it is just one difference in the human experience. They tend to dismiss any critisim from other gays as being 'internalized homophobia". You'll find gays trashing marriage. You'll find gays trashing raising children. You'll find gays trashing anal sex because it is trying to "mirror str8 sex" and because of AIDS. The list goes on and on.

As I said before it is best to find your own path and follow it. It is very good to have support from other gays, but know who your friends really are. There are some really good people that happen to be gay, but they are usually ones that you won't easily find in the gay world.

Yeah...I loved casual sex. It was always fun. Most guys, I think, are very sexual and the gay world gives a single guy a situation like a kid in a candy store. If you want to get laid on a given night, there’s almost no chance of you NOT getting laid. Guys are horny. Period.

You know, I find these days I don’t even try explaining to people that we are monogamous. If were out dancing at a club…I see guys look at him or me …and I just have a look that says; “what ever you are thinking, or about to say to us- fuck off”.
It might be rude, but after awhile you just get sick of people trying to put your commitment to the test. It’s not theoretical or hypothetical when someone has your BF by the hand and tries to lead him off the dance floor. When he is shouting over the music “I have a Boy Friend…that’s HIM standing there!” and the guy is like , “So? Lets go fuck I live near here”.

The funny thing is, the dip shit will shake his head and walk away thinking WE are the freaks.

I know this has left Boy George behind many posts ago lol

 

[LoboBoy]

When I was young and first trying to understand all this m2m attraction, I met many couples. Unfortunately, most of them were only interested in me because I was young and they wanted sex. Imagine what this world would be if str8's were the same way. A world where no one ever befriended someone unless there was the possibility of having sex. Thank goodness most str8's aren't that way.

My BF is just 22 (I am 33)...we have been together nearly two years and his stories are so recent in comparison (I had just left a 10 year monogamous relationship prior to meeting him)…and to be honest I find it hard to relate to some of it.

Its like the gay scene is what every straight guy WISHES his world was like. Women who 90% of the time won’t say “no”. Where everyone wants you just because you’re young. And when you get older…the young ones want you because you’re a man now! Every man's fantasy right?

yeah until you decide you want to live a little differently now that you have a partner. If it was just an isolated thing i wouldn't care...but as you obviously understand...it comes from all angles. We are just lucky we have friends who party as hard as us yet remain monogomous ...that way we don't feel like prudes lol

But the thing the male gay scene lacks …is a good set of brakes. There is no braking mechanism. You can’t slow it down and it never turns off.

 

[Cratchit]

so i am sure nobody will really care about this, but this is an interesting, at least to me, bit of trivia.

a few weeks ago i moved a lady into an apartment in New York City where boy george used to live....


hey, i thought it was kinda cool

 

[LoboBoy]

so i am sure nobody will really care about this, but this is an interesting, at least to me, bit of trivia.

a few weeks ago i moved a lady into an apartment in New York City where boy george used to live....


hey, i thought it was kinda cool

lol tell her to look around for hidden bags of coke (remember he was busted with it in his apartment? lol)