The Gay Urge

[Socal_prv69]

As an old guy now, I find wondering if the bi option I long denied myself might have been more fulfilling than the hetero path I took.

Avoiding disease was my reason, but if I had had a safe fwb with the same concerns, I might not have given it up completely.

Thats a great question, only you can really answer. I do hope you are not real "unhappy" with your life, but at any age even older, you still can allow yourself to explore. As for your fear of disease, that IS important, but to be clear,a man get get an STI having sex with a female as well as a male. It's pretty easy these days to not contract a disease from sex, just by actions and behaviors which are choices. Good luck and have some fun!

 

[Ben6598]

So here's a thing......

I really fancy women, am drawn to them sexually and emotionally and I certainly enjoy hetrosexual sex..........But, having said that, I think that I get much more turned on by gay sex.

I love to give myself to another man and to pleasure a cock with my mouth. I get so turned on by being rimmed and can't deny that I love it in the ass. The daft thing about loving gay sex though, is I don't really look at men and find them attractive as such. For sure it's nice to have a good feeling about a potential male sexual partner, but I don't fancy men to look at. I'm aware that's not massively unusual and I see a few posts on here about just loving the cock.

If we're doing labels, I class myself as bisexual.

So, I had plenty of gay sex in my younger days but ended up marrying a woman and having kids. I felt I wanted to do the right thing once I had a kid and be a good present dad, so I tried not to do anything that might destroy the family unit.

The urges to have sex with men never went away though. I have had to repress my sexual urges and it's meant living in conflict. I've had a decent sex life with my wife over the years but the urges for gay sex would always rear their head periodically.

Over the years in my marriage I used to give in to the urges and had a couple of guy friends but whilst it scratched an itch, I couldn't really relax and let go fully sexually, because the infidelity never sat well with me, I love my wife and felt very guilty for risking the family dynamic with betrayal.

About 15 years ago I stopped completely and about 8 years ago when we were at a crossroads in our marriage I told her about my bisexuality and my infidelities. We are still together and she wants me to remain faithful. The love I have for her means I adhere to that, for her sake, although I think it is in conflict with my true nature. It's a tough call and ultimately is a bit of a sacrifice.

The urges are getting stronger again and I find myself being so tempted to have a gay hook up........I know I'll feel shit afterwards if I do, but I can't deny I'm getting nearer to succumbing.

Some might say I'm just gay and in denial, but I don't think so, I am still aroused by women too, so I think I'm truly bisexual.

An interesting question I ask myself is this.......If I was in a gay relationship, getting all the cock I needed and totally fulfilled in that way, would I get the same primal urges and yearn to experience tits, ass and pussy again!

Could it be that I just want what I can't have, or is it really, that sexually, I'm closer to gay than straight on the scale? Who knows? I make my choices and that's that.

So who here, feels the strong pull..........The gay urges, building up over weeks and months, like an itch that needs scratching and you just can't ignore? It's almost a lunar thing!

Im right there with you. Love my wife. Sex has just gone out the window. Maybe twice a year if im lucky. Ive found im very femme with men in bed. I had a bf while living in VA in my 20's. No one in my family knows. Now i have kids n grandkids. Im still fairly fit and am attracted to women, but that urge is very powerful.

 

[Biguy77578]

I grew up in the same type of neighborhood. There was a bunch of us boys and there would be 3 or 4 of us jacking off together a lot of times. We would always try to get each other to suck cock but none of us ever would but there were a lot of times then and especially now that I wish I had. But in those days the last thing you wanted was to be known as a queer!

At that time and that age we didn't even know the word queer. As we grew older and knew it we never mentioned what we had done but some of us still did it. Once I had pussy I was hooked on it but never turned down a opportunity to suck or be sucked.

 

[Biguy77578]

Now I want to go camping!!!

Those were the days!

 

[Britva415]

The joke used to be:

"Say... If you were camping with your buddy and let's say you woke up with vaseline on your ass... Would you tell anybody?"
"... No!"
"Let's go camping!"

 

[bobb_sledd]

As I've said many times on many threads I grew up in a horny neighborhood. Us boys were always playing with our dicks.

One night while camping out i had an older boy bully me into sucking him. Once I got over the shock of it I was so glad he did. It set me on a course of over 60 years of enjoying sex no matter the gender.

When was the last time you serviced that bully?