Breathless, wordless, words

[cascadiabound]

Breathless
Sometimes it feels as if we're running a race
It’s you and me competing for air
My point of view, your point of view

Sometimes it feels as if we're fighting without knowing
It’s you and me telling our facts, not getting it right
My point of view, your point of view

Sometimes it feels as if we're not listening to one another
It’s you and me asking the things we have no answers to
My point of view, your point of view

Sometimes it feels as if we're going in circles
It’s you and me always arguing, never agreeing
My point of view, your point of view
It makes me breathless


Wordless
I ask you a question
I seek information from those that know
I look to those with answers

I wait for a reply
And stain to hear

You are silent and keep me out
Help is silent through malice or through fear
They are silent though they know

I wait for a reply
And the wordless silence is deafening


Words
My nightstand drawer is full of hidden words
I keep it there, for myself
Notes, poems, and little stories
About a broken dream, about a broken life

When these words in my nightstand drawer are hidden no more
It is there for others, as well as for myself
This thread, this place, this cascadia of boundless beauty
It helps, it calms, it quiets my forlorn soul

For words are my weapon
Not to defend against others, not to defend against you
But to defend against my sorrow, my grief, my pain
To defend me from me

For there is a power in the sad breathless words
And there is power in the sad wordless words
It is the power of words, my words
My weapon of choice

Your poem captures my heart and speaks a deep truth. Perfectly resonate.
Thank you DarkRaven

 

[Btq97]

You shone
We Flirted
We Danced
We Hugged
We Laughed
Then you went back to him
You dimmed
I left

 

[AlexBailey]

Brother found brother lost

I knew of you before she said
A brother from another time
Our blood had rhymes within the script
You followed all the clues

Her trembling voice confided
That which I had known
A secret wedged between our hearts
The distances had grown

To hear your name removed the doubts
I saw your face and knew
A brother I had never met
Fast friends both old and new

When face to face we met at last
Shared stories of our lives
You grew up in wonder
I grew up with lies

A brother found with time to mend
The spaces in between
New plans for being brothers
Shared visions, shared dreams

Was it too late? Was it enough?
Did you know your fate was drawn?
What made you reach out to find me?
It took too fucking long

Half the time I knew you
Was dreaming and was right
The other half a tortured goodbye
I lost you in the night

I try to smile and think good thoughts
But when I do I cry
A brother found, a brother lost
The hope and sweetness died

Still I’m glad I got to meet you and your family
Maybe next time we’ll all be nearer
I can get to know the real you
And you can meet the real me

 

[cascadiabound]

They started cutting
Removing brush and setting up

You were preparing
A long delayed goodbye

Those tall trees
Felled in minutes

Our long time
Changed in minutes

Thummmmmppp
The ground shakes
As the giant falls

Thummmmmppp
My heart breaks
As the fog clears

The analogy so perfect
The timing spot on
My new reality
No more thicket of forest
My new reality
No more future hopes
Pinned on the thinnest of possibilities

So what remains?
It is both exactly the same
And utterly different

The street is no closer
But now I see it

The crucible of change
Fertile soil remains
We must plant again

It will never be the same
A California lilac
A strawberry bush
Graceful Japanese maples
Joe's ginkgo tree
will grow where once
The wild untamed ruled sway

Our love was wild and untamed
our fire hot
Burning strong enough
To bridge many miles

Loss, time, grief, change
A pandemic too
the fire now smolders
Smokey and persistent
Time will tell
Should we bank
Or should we smoother
Our long burning fire

clearing makes way for opportunities
unobstructed now
free of blackberries and honeysuckle
This rich earth we have tilled together
We alone decide whether to plant
Or walk away

It's winter now
No rush to decide
Just sit with me darling
Hold my hand
Spring will come again
may our friendship
Be renewed

 

[AlexBailey]

Thirty Feet

Am I just a plaything?
Are you simply bored?
Gagged without a safe word
Tied too tight and left alone
Behind your closet door.

You said that I would catch the wrath
If we were caught together
You dressed me to your liking
How shameful would it be
to be caught bound in leather?

Your roommate’s in the kitchen
Your mother called your phone
Have you forgotten I am here?
Fighting cramps
Still in the zone

Your roommate leaves at five o’clock
I don’t know the time
You told me I was special
Is this attention
or a crime?

Knock three times
Our session ends
Neither of us wants that.
Not each other’s lovers
Just the best of friends

A dare, a kink, two minds alike
It’s your turn next I hope
Our hearts don’t beat together
We find love in our shared fun
And thirty feet of rope

 

[DarkRaven13]

Brother found brother lost

I knew of you before she said
A brother from another time
Our blood had rhymes within the script
You followed all the clues

Her trembling voice confided
That which I had known
A secret wedged between our hearts
The distances had grown

To hear your name removed the doubts
I saw your face and knew
A brother I had never met
Fast friends both old and new

When face to face we met at last
Shared stories of our lives
You grew up in wonder
I grew up with lies

A brother found with time to mend
The spaces in between
New plans for being brothers
Shared visions, shared dreams

Was it too late? Was it enough?
Did you know you fate was drawn?
What made you reach out to find me?
It took too fucking long

Half the time I knew you
Was dreaming and was right
The other half a tortured goodbye
I lost you in the night

I try to smile and think good thoughts
But when I do I cry
A brother found, a brother lost
The hope and sweetness died

Still I’m glad I got to meet you and your family
Maybe next time we’ll all be nearer
I can get to know the real you
And you can meet the real me

I read this ... and see it as a story of two found and torn apart. But I can also read this as a story of one, who was torn apart, even in the finding of ones self. Perhaps I read too much into this, but it is interesting to read everyone's words, and find their meaning, and what it means to me.

 

[DarkRaven13]

They started cutting
Removing brush and setting up

You were preparing
A long delayed goodbye

Those tall trees
Felled in minutes

Our long time
Changed in minutes

Thummmmmppp
The ground shakes
As the giant falls

Thummmmmppp
My heart breaks
As the fog clears

The analogy so perfect
The timing spot on
My new reality
No more thicket of forest
My new reality
No more future hopes
Pinned on the thinnest of possibilities

So what remains?
It is both exactly the same
And utterly different

The street is no closer
But now I see it

The crucible of change
Fertile soil remains
We must plant again

It will never be the same
A California lilac
A strawberry bush
Graceful Japanese maples
Joe's ginkgo tree
will grow where once
The wild untamed ruled sway

Our love was wild and untamed
our fire hot
Burning strong enough
To bridge many miles

Loss, time, grief, change
A pandemic too
the fire now smolders
Smokey and persistent
Time will tell
Should we bank
Or should we smoother
Our long burning fire

clearing makes way for opportunities
unobstructed now
free of blackberries and honeysuckle
This rich earth we have tilled together
We alone decide whether to plant
Or walk away

It's winter now
No rush to decide
Just sit with me darling
Hold my hand
Spring will come again
may our friendship
Be renewed

View attachment 2193273

Sometimes I wish there were more reaction emojis. A "Like" does not do this justice. Nor a "Sad face" correct. I wish there was an emoji that evoked an uncertain future - and as winter draws to its end, I wish the answer you come to is the answer you want.

(And thank you again Cascadia, for starting this wonderful thread.)

 

[Btq97]

So warm and well fitting,
Perfectly shaped meshed together
The sweet warm space hidden between
Your hand in mine as we face the world

 

[cascadiabound]

Snow-Flakes
Out of the bosom of the Air,
Out of the cloud-folds of her garments,
Shaken,
Over the woodlands brown and bare,
Over the harvest-fields forsaken,
Silent, and soft, and slow
Descends the snow.

Even as our cloudy fancies take
Suddenly shape in some divine expression,
Even as the troubled heart doth make
In the white countenance confession,
The troubled sky reveals
The grief it feels.

This is the poem of the air,
Slowly in silent syllables recorded:
This is the secret of despair,
Long in its cloudy bosom hoarded,
Now whispered and revealed
To wood and field.


Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

[cascadiabound]

winter lights encircle
warm winter's hearth
resonate and sparkle
through these dark nights

each light a memory
each light a tear
each light a heartbeat
each light a wish
each light a promise

anticipation in advent
celestial solstice
a star in the night

a Christmas child
now laid to rest
a summer solstice romance
terminated in darkness

counting the lights
like midwest train cars
seemingly endless

but all things end
the caboose is glimpsed
the light returns
the pain recedes

encircle me with lights
soothe my soul
stroke my hair
until dreamless sleep
restores my heart

 

[cascadiabound]

Frangos and ginkos
octagon boxes
and ancient trees
Nautilus and ammonite
coffee every morning
made with care
delivered with love
her Joe
his girl
decades of love
enduring as an oak
as sweet as chocolate
on Christmas morn

 

[Mrtenant]

For you and your people.

When she asks for prayers
Like everyone else, I say oh yea
Right away, coming up

And in the calm of late night
When all the world sleeps
And my mind slowly unwinds

She asked me for prayers

She asked me

When all the world sleeps
In the calm of night

Fingertip caress on my forehead
I close my eyes
Palm upon my heart

From out of the night
The words spill forth
Their intent, clear

Be at peace within yourselves
Be at peace with your kin
Remember your grace and love
For one another

This I pray and wish for you
With all the love
And grace that is mine

 

[cascadiabound]

For you and your people.

When she asks for prayers
Like everyone else, I say oh yea
Right away, coming up

And in the calm of late night
When all the world sleeps
And my mind slowly unwinds

She asked me for prayers

She asked me

When all the world sleeps
In the calm of night

Fingertip caress on my forehead
I close my eyes
Palm upon my heart

From out of the night
The words spill forth
Their intent, clear

Be at peace within yourselves
Be at peace with your kin
Remember your grace and love
For one another

This I pray and wish for you
With all the love
And grace that is mine

With all my heart, I thank you dearest

 

[AlexBailey]

How sad?

Every wine passes it’s prime
It has to be opened at the right time
Too soon and the acids sour the palate
Too late and the richest complexity is spent
It’s lost, becomes a has been that never was
Too bad
How sad
You blew it dad

An acorn splits sends up a shoot
To the sky it goes
Limbs grow strong
Leaves grow thick
Up and out it grows
One day it will have had enough
The growing time is through
Too bad
How sad
That’s what it had to do

You can build a mighty temple
Or a castle or a house
With bricks and stone
Sticks or beams
For that matter anything else
One day it will lay in ruin
Or maybe leave no trace
Too bad
How sad
You have to live someplace

You can have a family
You can fall in love
You can have your children
Do the things you’re dreaming of
It can be just like a house of cards
Or a castle in the sand
Too bad
How sad
It’s hard to stand sometimes

(Written as a song with a Tom Waits style)

 

[cascadiabound]

How sad?

Every wine passes it’s prime
It has to be opened at the right time
Too soon and the acids sour the palate
Too late and the richest complexity is spent
It’s lost, becomes a has been that never was
Too bad
How sad
You blew it dad

[......]
(Written as a song with a Tom Waits style)

I'd love to hear it sung.
I can see the lyric cadence to it now.

 

[AlexBailey]

I'd love to hear it sung.
I can see the lyric cadence to it now.

Next time my voice is in the mood I’ll vocoroo it.

 

[Btq97]

Tension growing
Eyes wide gaze locked
Breath catches back arches
Bright red trails spring from nails
Wider staring deeper hotter wetter
Gripping locked twitching
Triggered release deep flowing relaxing kissing laughing

 

[cascadiabound]

Accompanied by a book
She departs the couch
For far flung worlds
Down rabbit holes
and ancient sites
In story she is never alone
Inhabiting lives
Experiencing love
The stars within reach
A nerdy girl
A curious woman
Alone with a book

 

[AlexBailey]

Tension growing
Eyes wide gaze locked
Breath catches back arches
Bright red trails spring from nails
Wider staring deeper hotter wetter
Gripping locked twitching
Triggered release deep flowing relaxing kissing laughing

Toe curling! Very nice

 

[Btq97]

Toe curling! Very nice

Thank you kindly

 

[cascadiabound]

Cracks of Grief

the cracks of grief
open slowly
sometimes imperceptibly
hairline cracks
in my consciousness
or
in the basement of my mind
so deep below the surface
subterranean grief
like a compromised foundation
only revealed
when inspected

the cracks of grief
widen with each loss
piled like blankets
until they smother
one or two can be worn like a cloak
a capote to hide within
stack them high
they'll soon topple
a mess of layers
too weighty to manage

untangle my heart
smooth and straighten
one by one
each fold a memory
revealed and relived
and the tears flow

paper mache' can't seal those cracks
an illusion of repair
quickly comes undone
a cascade of tears
one by one washes the cracks
smoothing the hurt
replacing ache
with bittersweet sighs

let the frango melt in my mouth
let twinkle lights bring joy
feel the hug of his scent still lingering
feel her pearls warm 'round my neck
the holiday rituals
now so full of grief
may comfort my heart
next year

meanwhile
the cracks of grief
haunt me still

 

[29wordsforsnow]

In the flickering dawn of a wrinkled bulb
remind me of the warm summer memories
stitched into the folds of your winter dress
long enough...

...before
the spring ideas grow in shades
autumn buds embrace the night
and shoot their greens in silence

 

[29wordsforsnow]

not a word
not a single sound
passing, your eyes closed
what could you even have said
in that moment
of the least contact ever
your lips
breezing life back
with the power
one-hundredth of a butterfly's wing
into my numb fingers
warming up
love

 

[cascadiabound]

in the same boat
Trying to figure which way to paddle
You do you
No way to get anywhere
Paddling so hard
Blisters form
Leaderless
Directionless
Spinning in circles
Bailing too
Stick together?
Find a new cadence?
Set a new course
I've lost my bearing
coastline obscured
Listening with my heart

 

[Dreamliner]

I am not one for allegories, but, I appreciate, words, actions,
mean a lot, do not under estimate, some appreciate, your needs and desires.