Breathless, wordless, words

[cascadiabound]

Take a deep breath
Guilt and shame
Release them
Toxic monsters
Vanquish them
Be at peace
Find that calm place
Where truth reveals
Grief tears and rents
A stew of sadness
There is no ground
Beneath our feet
Fall to our knees
posture of supplication
Grant me peace
Grant clarity
Grant calm

when I rise
The tears brushed away
Cleansed by time
scars healing
New clarity
Taking the next step
Eyes on the horizon
Doing the next right thing
Taking a deep breath

 

[cascadiabound]

It's time to let go
Memories will comfort
Let go the pain
Find a new routine
Let go the past
Time is short
Time is all we have
It's time to let go

 

[DarkRaven13]

It's time to let go
Memories will comfort
Let go the pain
Find a new routine
Let go the past
Time is short
Time is all we have
It's time to let go

It's time to let go
Memories do comfort
But they also bring pain
I try to find new routines
But refuse to let go the past
Time ...
Time has been lost
Help me let go

(Thank you again @cascadiabound for this thread....and for allowing me to always add my take on your poems. Yours always makes me think. Sometimes my thoughts coincide with yours. At other times it makes me fall into another place. But ... your words make me think. And that is your success.)

 

[cascadiabound]

It's time to let go
Memories do comfort
But they also bring pain
I try to find new routines
But refuse to let go the past
Time ...
Time has been lost
Help me let go

(Thank you again @cascadiabound for this thread....and for allowing me to always add my take on your poems. Yours always makes me think. Sometimes my thoughts coincide with yours. At other times it makes me fall into another place. But ... your words make me think. And that is your success.)

Time... is fleeting
Hold fast to what is true
Value those who value you
Time heals, but does not erase

I'll sit with you... if you'll sit with me
We can contemplate the cosmos
And discover joy in the mundane



Thank you @DarkRaven13

 

[cascadiabound]

Confetti shortbread
our ending shredded
Words cutting
Like a hot knife
Through butter
Our time short
Shorter than shortbread
interrupted
One last time
As my cookies
burnt to a crisp
just like the wreckage
formerly known as us

 

[DarkRaven13]

Vacation massage
Enveloped in lovely scent
He reminds: please breathe

Welcome home Cascadia ... if I am not mistaken you were away for a few weeks. I hope you are refreshed and have brought back warm memories.

 

[DarkRaven13]

Alone and lonely
Missing you, missing what we once had
Slipping naked into the hot tub
urged by your words
Imagining you might join me
The cool night air
My hair pinned up
Sultry in the red light's glow
one last image
Seared into our last days

How many photos?
How many words?
How many poems
How many tears?
Years shared
Until I dwell within you
And you dwell within me
Everything is colored by you
Everything has been changed by you

Moments of heartbreak
Death and dying
Pain and loss
Political upheaval breaking my heart
Your calm voice reassures
My tears wail in your ears
My voice earnest and agitated
My ectsacy waking the dead and the dog

The minutiae of life
These are the places we stick together
The interstitial spaces of news
The mundanity of weather
The lists of errands, laundry and meals
Are these things too unimportant
Should we discuss philosophy?
Satre and Maslow
Einstein and Shakespeare
Metaphysics and epistemology?

How I hurt you in my obliviousness
Children play in the playground
Frisky and silly
But serious too...
serious about safety and care
It didn't feel like a party
It was a distraction
A place to just be when you were elsewhere
A place to be hide
All my sadness and loss
You had set me free
Your choice. Not mine
Hopes I still had.... crushed by your words
I refuse to fight
I see the wisdom of your thinking
I concede. My tears locked away
My pain pushed down
Man oh man

What does a girl do with pain?
Where do I go to discharge
To escape myself
To ache for what is gone now?
A facsimile of joy
A pretend party
Holding back all feelings
Retreating to my corner
Rising to protect others
Keeping it safe
Kinky mamma bear
Like a lifeguard
Or a playground monitor
Watching the kids at play
Outside, aching, broken hearted

No longer His
Who am I now?
No longer His
What does that make me?
No longer His
Will He still watch over me?
I feel lost
Adrift
No longer His

But it is true....
I am still kinky af
But what use is that?
Alone in my swirling thoughts
Aching for lost chances
Unable to bridge the miles
Unable to coordinate a date
But still badass to the core
Protective of my people
Motherly to the new and naive
Kinky mamma bear
If I am not His
Who am I?
If he no longer wants to try
I am on my own

But this moniker cut
Creating new chasms between us
"You do you" was your quip
I should have felt the bite
Should have heard the disapproval
But you were no longer mine
And your promise to let me be me
I relied upon

A new moniker seemed necessary
Essential even... if I am not yours
Like a new dress, I tried it on
Wore it a bit, to see how it fit
But the stains of your pain
Ruined the look
Even before I ripped it away

I had thought you'd be proud
Just a little proud
Your badass girl helping, protecting
Resilient even in my pain
But all you could see
Was fun and games
All you could see
That I was no longer yours
My pain, invisible
My ache for you
Buried by laughter

Can you see me?
Or is the fabric so torn
The space time continuum rent
Just like that ill fitting dress

No longer His
But still crying
No longer mine
But still aching
No longer His
But still bound
My tears flow
Filling this holiday
With the deep pain of so much loss
Words fail me darling
Never did I intend to cause such pain
Tears and gulping sobs
No time for this pain.
No time to heal this new slash

My heart is broken
He no longer watches over me
But the string still draws tight
The shadow of that last lonely image
Wet and naked in the red-light
Captured for your eyes only
Sharing my heart and soul
Hours, days, years
Just for you
My exceptional friend
To whom I no longer belong

Where shall I stand?
Who am I now?
Where shall I place my mark?
My voice silenced by tears
This pain sears my soul
on this sacred eve
The red lights glow

You had two poems I read ... this one on a Saturday ...is filled with pain of past that still remains.

Who are you now? CascadiaBound. It feels as if you tried to change that ... and could not.

Then came the poem the day after ... and it felt .... perhaps not hopeful, but healing.

Perhaps it is time for CascadiaUnbound.

 

[cascadiabound]

Pigeon Forge Owl
Broken and mended
Watches silently
Generations gather
New elders still young
Children all grown

Mulled wine in every cup
Love and laughter
Overflows
Pigeon Forge Owl
candlelight and flowers
Bountiful table
Family together

Forging new traditions
Grief roils and rumbles
Just beneath my breath
Pigeon Forge Owl
Reminds me
Beauty remains
In the broken places
That's where
The light comes in

 

[cascadiabound]

You had two poems I read ... this one on a Saturday ...is filled with pain of past that still remains.

Who are you now? CascadiaBound. It feels as if you tried to change that ... and could not.

Then came the poem the day after ... and it felt .... perhaps not hopeful, but healing.

Perhaps it is time for CascadiaUnbound.

The nature of grief
Of loss and transition
No straight line
No clear path

Bound
Unbound
matters not
Taking each day
Feeling the feels
Charting a new path
Doing the next right thing
Taking the next breath

 

[sirhugs]

The nature of grief
Of loss and transition
No straight line
No clear path

Bound
Unbound
matters not
Taking each day
Feeling the feels
Charting a new path
Doing the next right thing
Taking the next breath

...and onward

 

[cascadiabound]

College friends
No one more dear
Decades of love and laughter
Car rides and choco shakes
Your life transformed
Could not be more proud
Joy shines through
Your true self revealed
A fairy princess
A dream come true
Houseboats and cruising
Fresh flowers and true love
You were so beautiful that night
So sorry I missed
Your wedding

 

[cascadiabound]

Your goofy smile was endearing
That cold Ohio night
a night of ice skating
And late night chocolate fudge sundaes
Cemented a life long friendship

Your love life was a mess
tangled as the radio station wiring
late night efforts amazed
Skills honed, lessons learned
Chocolate shakes to celebrate

Our paths took us to the left coast
California sun, fast cars and icecream
Your friendship a touchstone
Museum days, late night walks
Secrets, fears and dreams
Bathed in your friendship
'Til we meet again...never goodbye

My hometown became yours
Chicago shoreline music fest
Bbq picnics and marriage plans
Engineer turned physician
Your passion and compassion
Perfectly met
Two halves a pair in healthcare

The lightning over St Louis
After dancing, vows and chuppah
Perhaps an omen of turmoil ahead
She was your choice, but not your match
SanFransisco townhouse on the park
Curated artwork on every wall
Doctor became daddy
Your delight filled my heart

Paths cross and cris-cross
Foggy SF traded for rainy Seattle
Much to my delight
Your children three
As you ushered fragile lives
By the thousands
Doing rounds
Hard truths, compassionate care

The kids grew, as they do
Decades of friendship
You were always there
Sailing on the Salish Sea
Skiing in the Cascades
Bat mitzvahs, bar mitzvahs
and the seasons turn

Hints of your inner truth
Pushed aside in shame and pain
I recall your joy
As a breeze blew up your skirt
Circling around identity
She cried, she denied
She bargained, insulted
And yet, truth you confided

The struggle was real
Each step confirmed
Transformation to you
Who owns your body?
Who gets to choose?
There is no question
The answer is you

Beautiful, joyful
Your souls' light revealed
Week by week
And month by month
As he became she
Inside now outside too
My privilege to walk along
Your ally your friend

Your light so bright now
Joyful in new love
Stunning bridal gown
Joined heart to heart
She who deserves you
Dance your life in joy
Sail into your new day
Your forever friend
Love you girl

 

[sirhugs]

College friends
No one more dear
Decades of love and laughter
Car rides and choco shakes
Your life transformed
Could not be more proud
Joy shines through
Your true self revealed
A fairy princess
A dream come true
Houseboats and cruising
Fresh flowers and true love
You were so beautiful that night
So sorry I missed
Your wedding

especially loved that last couplet.

 

[Moochienanu]

Jinxed this morning
with our ‘I love you,’
little does he know
that’s all I ever say
in all the words,
that’s all I ever say
between words,
that’s all I ever say
without words,
to him.

 

[cascadiabound]

So many ways to say I love you
Wordlessly, wordless, breathless
good morning (I love you)
how are you? (I love you)
Did you sleep? (I love you)
Text me when you get home (I love you)
Remember to eat (I love you)
Take a walk (I love you)
Remember to breath.... deep breath (I love you more than words can say)
Paint something (I love you)
Coffee? (I love you)
How are your people? (I love you)
What can I do? (I love you)
Prayers and hugs (I love you)
Good night luv (I love you)

 

[cascadiabound]

I ache
My stomach roils
Your words cut
Even deeper than silence
My heart aches
Beating with pain
Twitching with anxiety
Uncertainty

I want to scream
Tears burn behind my eyes
Distraction despair dystopia
The walls between us grow
The moat around me deepens
I just need time
I just need grace

Accusations of carelessness
Attempts to rectify that error
now blocked

What do you want?
How can I help?
My fear for you
Tightens like a band
Hot and wild
Whiplashed expectations
Please god... just don't die
The terror I feel
Immobilizes and implodes

My meanings are lost on you
Your intentions obscured to me
Misunderstandings compound
Til our bonds become dust
A sad thing withering away
Dying of thirst

This pain wrecks me
Your pain breaks me
Please just breath
Hear my prayer oh god
Give us grace oh god
Set these unfounded fears aside
I'll build a bridge to you
Fenestrate my walls
My open hand awaits
There will be time enough (I pray)
Next year

 

[cascadiabound]

all talked out my dear
so many pixels bled out
may truth undo pain

 

[29wordsforsnow]

Please excuse me for lagging behind
I might be late for what was on my mind

When the harsh grip
of darkness and ice
squeezes tight
this robust plant
even the oldest admit
that hope dies last.



The winter breath
got stem and leaf
down on the ground.
There, on our knees,
amid the petal crown
tiny seeds can be found.



Hold on to these
the smallest things
close to your heart
where the embers
keep 'em safe and warm
through the long Remember.



At last
in the end
of this bitter march
when the frost is gone
the soil will be prone
for hope to be sown.



No doubt,
it takes a while
a gentle touch
some tears to fall
the warmth of a smile
for this seed to sprout.



With a little help
it grows back strong
to love and laughter.
Until the very last
breath and word,
Hope​

 

[cascadiabound]

Light drizzle makes the world lush
Rich black earth a new blank slate
Full of promise, opportunity and creativity
So much just round the corner
transformative transitions
the next life stage awaits
Change is invigorating, terrifying and exciting
Friends and allies travel with me
The map incomplete
The edges obscured
Beyond this point there be dragons
Good thing I've packed
my dragon taming kit

 

[Mrtenant]

There are certain kisses
For heart warming hellos
Or sweet goodbyes
Farewells until next time
On the cheek
Or forehead
How I love giving those
Kisses with a full body hug
Nuzzling your neck
Kisses on your hand
At the top of ferris wheels
And in the car
Kisses during a dance
At the end of the dance
And all those kisses
A gentleman never speaks of
You know those
And those kisses
Where the world falls away
And there is only you and me
And this kiss, this...kiss
Oh god, that kiss
And then this kiss today
For this New Year
Is the kiss
Of sweetness
And sorrow,
Love and desire
And how I am home
And how I am soon away
Sooner than I like
The kiss of memory
How can I not kiss thee
Who art the loveliest I have ever encountered
As if this be my last
Kiss with you
Just know, this kiss is just for you


Happy New Year, 2023, darling

 

[cascadiabound]

There are certain kisses
For heart warming hellos
Or sweet goodbyes
Farewells until next time
On the cheek
Or forehead
How I love giving those
Kisses with a full body hug
Nuzzling your neck
Kisses on your hand
At the top of ferris wheels
And in the car
Kisses during a dance
At the end of the dance
And all those kisses
A gentleman never speaks of
You know those
And those kisses
Where the world falls away
And there is only you and me
And this kiss, this...kiss
Oh god, that kiss
And then this kiss today
For this New Year
Is the kiss
Of sweetness
And sorrow,
Love and desire
And how I am home
And how I am soon away
Sooner than I like
The kiss of memory
How can I not kiss thee
Who art the loveliest I have ever encountered
As if this be my last
Kiss with you
Just know, this kiss is just for you


Happy New Year, 2023, darling

Beautiful darling
Thank you so much.
Your kisses so sweet.
Happy New Year 2023

 

[29wordsforsnow]

There are certain kisses
For heart warming hellos
Or sweet goodbyes
Farewells until next time
On the cheek
Or forehead
How I love giving those
Kisses with a full body hug
Nuzzling your neck
Kisses on your hand
At the top of ferris wheels
And in the car
Kisses during a dance
At the end of the dance
And all those kisses
A gentleman never speaks of
You know those
And those kisses
Where the world falls away
And there is only you and me
And this kiss, this...kiss
Oh god, that kiss
And then this kiss today
For this New Year
Is the kiss
Of sweetness
And sorrow,
Love and desire
And how I am home
And how I am soon away
Sooner than I like
The kiss of memory
How can I not kiss thee
Who art the loveliest I have ever encountered
As if this be my last
Kiss with you
Just know, this kiss is just for you


Happy New Year, 2023, darling

A symphony of bittersweet
for just the mental image
I need a supporting wall
both hands in good use
to hide the waterfall eyes
my lips' end skywardly bent

 

[cascadiabound]

The new year dawns
So sweet
In company of friends
Old and new
Fleming fizz
Penicillin
Moscow mule
Port and scotch
Bourbon too
Logan circles round and round
Chocolate cherry cake
May it be a foretaste
Of what may come
This year of portents
Wrap me in your love
Kiss my forehead
The new year dawns

 

[cascadiabound]

These first late hours
Still air, quiet darkness
Stars alight this midwinter night
Barefoot I trod the cold flagstones
Slipping into the hot water
Leaning into luxury
As if I am melting

My mind clears
wrapped in such warmth
heart pumping
Hair swirling
Naked curves
Cool air contrast

Seeking calm
Quieting these troubled waters
Now I lay me down to sleep
A new year's dawn
Will greet me soon

 

[cascadiabound]

Trees dressed in fog
Midwinter morning
Languidly caught in sheets
Cool then hot
Not that kind of hot
hormonal sweat
Tossing sheets
Must pull away
Tears burn my face
My body betrays
Foggy world
Fog bound body
Misty mind