Broke my goddamned bed!!

[Homburg]

I would love to be part of this interchange between Luna and Gracie, but, well, it looks like it has been thoroughly covered.

Dammit.

--

So sorry about your bed. I've been there, done that too though.

...but what concerns me is that I was just discussing my sleigh bed and hook & eye screws. I have a huge, heavy, cherry sleigh. Think that will make a difference?

Probably. Cherry is a tougher wood than ours, which apparently was made of Grade-A Choice Shitwood. It also depends on the cut of the ends, as ours was also a lovely special design that lent itself to breakage in those areas. Why the designers built it that way, I do not know. Joins are stress-points, kids. I'm neither an engineer nor a carpenter and I knew that this bed was a crap design when we got it. Fortunately, we didn't pay for it, as it was a wedding gift or somesuch. I don't remember, largely becaus emy memory is clouded by intense loathing.

I did have a remarkably satisfying time last smashing the footboard to flinder in my garage. Very nice.

Spite, bile, and hatred for my bed aside, the attachment points were not the issue, my dear Blushing Bottom. It was grabbing the headboard that caused the crash. So long as you pre-drill the holes properly for the hook/eye screws, you should be fine. I personally prefer to situate them in thirds, at top, middle, and bottom. Having attachments at the four corners is classic, but putting them at the middle as well allows me to secure her with her knees up and properly opened. Just a personal preference.

I drilled the holes up through the bottom of the rail, and installed the screws vertically. It's not quite as secure as drilling through the side, then reinforcing with fender washers or somesuch, but they are less obvious that way, and you don't have to worry about barking your shins on them when getting into bed.

I need to just install some handles mounted on the wall studs or something.

 

[Luvkitty33]

Are you still in a love/hate relationship with your bed this morning, or is it just hate now?

 

[Homburg]

Are you still in a love/hate relationship with your bed this morning, or is it just hate now?

I piled upon that bed the sum of all the general hate and rage, etc.

 

[graceanne]

I would love to be part of this interchange between Luna and Gracie, but, well, it looks like it has been thoroughly covered.

Dammit.

Suffer! AHAHAHAHA

 

[professorquixote]

Man, I tried getting a big guy up into my loft bed....Oh Man that was a disaster

 

[Betticus]

Sure, I'm a big cat, and we were getting energetic, but how fucking much reinforcement does it take to support a little bit of friendly grab-the-headboard-and-go anal sex?

FUCK!!

Now I'm seething mad and preparing to go to Lowes to buy some hardware. This will not be pretty.

Damn bro, you gotta pull back some of that alpha male sheer damn manliness.

 

[reignophelia]

.....

 

[Homburg]

Damn bro, you gotta pull back some of that alpha male sheer damn manliness.

Pulll... back?? What is this "pull back" of which you speak? "Press forward" I understand, but this idea of pulling back, it is new to me.

I have officially turned my back on beds of wood. They are too feeble. Steel shall be the material of choice. Scoff if you want, but I will ensure that Furniture Malfunctions darker my door no more.

--

*Sigh* Oh Homburg.

Damn, you say that a lot for a woman that I don't have under my hand.

 

[Homburg]

Man, I tried getting a big guy up into my loft bed....Oh Man that was a disaster

I had friends that had loft beds in the dorm back when I was in college. Yeah, no thanks. I'll sleep down here.

I remember one night, after a few too many drinks, deciding that sleeping where I was hanging out was better than staggering home. My buddy's roommate was out for the week and he offered me his bed for the night. Even drunk I recognised this for the huge comedic, slapstick farce that it was and decided to sleep on the loveseat. Oh my, that was an error, but still better than trusting that freakin' loft contraption, especially when non-sober.

 

[Betticus]

Pulll... back?? What is this "pull back" of which you speak? "Press forward" I understand, but this idea of pulling back, it is new to me.

I have officially turned my back on beds of wood. They are too feeble. Steel shall be the material of choice. Scoff if you want, but I will ensure that Furniture Malfunctions darker my door no more.

A welder, a bunch of I beam and some heavy duty truck leaf spring steel!

We could even weld on all kinds of eyebolts and tie down hard points on. Places you can attach the block and tackle pulleys for suspensions.

 

[Homburg]

A welder, a bunch of I beam and some heavy duty truck leaf spring steel!

We could even weld on all kinds of eyebolts and tie down hard points on. Places you can attach the block and tackle pulleys for suspensions.

That's basically what I'm talking about. I used to work at a heavy truck dealership, and can get the hook-up on 2" box steel. Rebar and cold-rolled stuff is easy to come by. I just gotta get to the point where I can lat a cleaner bead. Need more MIG gas too...

 

[Blushing Bottom]

*batting eyes*


Sounds like you'll be busy. Can I come over and er ah...help?

That's basically what I'm talking about. I used to work at a heavy truck dealership, and can get the hook-up on 2" box steel. Rebar and cold-rolled stuff is easy to come by. I just gotta get to the point where I can lat a cleaner bead. Need more MIG gas too...

 

[Luvkitty33]

*batting eyes*


Sounds like you'll be busy. Can I come over and er ah...help?

Can I join Blushing Bottom? Pretty please

 

[Homburg]

Well, that depends, do either one of you know your way around structural steel? Or are you just looking for a position under the desk?

*rummages about looking for the angle grinder, welding gloves, and bib*

 

[the captians wench]

Pulll... back?? What is this "pull back" of which you speak? "Press forward" I understand, but this idea of pulling back, it is new to me.

I have officially turned my back on beds of wood. They are too feeble. Steel shall be the material of choice. Scoff if you want, but I will ensure that Furniture Malfunctions darker my door no more.

--



Damn, you say that a lot for a woman that I don't have under my hand.

pull back...you know, like "pull back on my pig tails."

 

[Luvkitty33]

Well, that depends, do either one of you know your way around structural steel? Or are you just looking for a position under the desk?

*rummages about looking for the angle grinder, welding gloves, and bib*

I just want to test out the bed to make sure it's safe and all.

 

[Homburg]

pull back...you know, like "pull back on my pig tails."

Oh, yeah! That I know. I do that one all the time. Pull back on arms, tie some rope around her waist (my personal favourite) and pull back on that, martial arts belt, etc. I do that kinda pulling back all the time. Good stuff.

--

Bed testers? Well, yeah, that would be a useful position. We will need testing staff.

 

[Betticus]

That's basically what I'm talking about. I used to work at a heavy truck dealership, and can get the hook-up on 2" box steel. Rebar and cold-rolled stuff is easy to come by. I just gotta get to the point where I can lat a cleaner bead. Need more MIG gas too...

I've only done arc stick welding but was pretty good at it. I could lay a bead that looked like a slanted over stack of dimes sunk into the metal.

I'd love to try my hand at mig/tig welding. Grandfather was a career structural welder working on structural building supports, etc... Maybe it comes naturally.

 

[myinnerslut]

Well, that depends, do either one of you know your way around structural steel? Or are you just looking for a position under the desk?

*rummages about looking for the angle grinder, welding gloves, and bib*

i can help if you like

dont let the young, sweet, and innocent bit fool you.... i have been helping my father with construction since iw as old enough to handle a hammer

 

[Homburg]

I've only done arc stick welding but was pretty good at it. I could lay a bead that looked like a slanted over stack of dimes sunk into the metal.

I'd love to try my hand at mig/tig welding. Grandfather was a career structural welder working on structural building supports, etc... Maybe it comes naturally.

Never done stick. It looks dead cool. There's a technical term that describes my recent (gasless) welds - "Shitty". I've produced less splatter with a money shot. Unreal. I want more mig gas dammit, and I'll continue to blame my crap results on lack of gas, not lack of skill

i can help if you like

dont let the young, sweet, and innocent bit fool you.... i have been helping my father with construction since iw as old enough to handle a hammer

Rawr! Weld spatter would suck wearing the short short cut-offs though. Or, wait, you'd dress sensibly, not decoratively, wouldn't you?

 

[Betticus]

Never done stick. It looks dead cool. There's a technical term that describes my recent (gasless) welds - "Shitty". I've produced less splatter with a money shot. Unreal. I want more mig gas dammit, and I'll continue to blame my crap results on lack of gas, not lack of skill

Sounds like you are welding too hot. See, this is your alpha male thing again, giving it too much power.

It's about finesse mi amigo.

 

[Homburg]

Sounds like you are welding too hot. See, this is your alpha male thing again, giving it too much power.

It's about finesse mi amigo.

Hmmm.... "Too much power" again with the words I don't get.

I remember being 8 years old and helping my Dad work on the car. I was using a regular 3/8" drive ratchet and was wringing the heads off bolts. At 8 years old. Dad gave me a 1/4" drive ratchet and made me use my left hand. To this day, my left hand is my stronger hand on a wrench, and I rarely need a breaker bar. And I was probably in my teens before I would use anything larger than that 1/4" ratchet.

See, it's not that I'm a gorilla that likes to wreck things. I just... forget some times. Steel is supposed to be tough. I reinforced the bed with steel joins, and over-did it. My dad thought I was silly for putting the supports in that I did. All I can say is that I obviously didn't put in enough.

As to finesse itself, I'm best at applying finesse in conversations. My hands, not so much with the finesse. All of my finesse is in my tongue.

 

[Luvkitty33]

All of my finesse is in my tongue.

Ummmm........YUMMY!!!

 

[myinnerslut]

Never done stick. It looks dead cool. There's a technical term that describes my recent (gasless) welds - "Shitty". I've produced less splatter with a money shot. Unreal. I want more mig gas dammit, and I'll continue to blame my crap results on lack of gas, not lack of skill




Rawr! Weld spatter would suck wearing the short short cut-offs though. Or, wait, you'd dress sensibly, not decoratively, wouldn't you?

when welding, yes... but not always

unfortunatly i dressed more for comfort the time i had to cut out a grid of rusted steel wire that was holding together the cement my father and i had just jackhammered apart.
it was really really hot out that and so i attacked the wire wearing a tank top, shorts, and gloves that only reached my wrists. by the end of the day i had scrapes up and down my arms and legs. only one scratch scarred, on the inside of my arm. its one of the few scars i have on my body.

 

[Homburg]

Ummmm........YUMMY!!!

Caught that, I see

It's true, too.

--

when welding, yes....
unfortunatly i dressed more for comfort the time i had to cut out a grid of rusted steel wire that was holding together the cement my father and i had just jackhammered apart. it was really really hot out that and so i attacked the wire wearing a tank top, shorts, and gloves that only reached my wrists. by the end of the day i had scrapes up and down my arms and legs. only one scarred, one of the few scars i have on my body.

There you go. I choose my clothes based on protection from the environment, usually too much heat. And I don't scar worth a crap. I've had some really cool scars over the years, and they've all gone away. I personally like scars, as I usually had a cool story to go along with each.