Can you fall in love with someone online?

[PetNora]

Google love vs. infatuation. Infatuation, lust, even attachment is possible in an online relationship, but truth and love and lasting relationships cannot live in a virtual relationship alone. For that to develop, time in the real world, face to face and side by side, is necessary. That's what makes the internet so dangerous. People lose touch with reality and forget that this place isn't real. Too many people abuse the anonymity of the Internet and hide behind personas they create online. Those personas cannot stand up to the light of day.

 

[glitterkitty27]

.........

 

[Neajan]

I've had this debate with a few people recently, and I'm curious what others think. Is it possible to fall in love with someone you've never met? Someone you only know virtually?

It depends of what you put behind "falling in love" I think the experience will drastically change from one person to another.

In my opinion it relies to your own maturity, and how much feeling you are ready to involve in something plainly virtual at first with not much security but being anonymous.
It also greatly depends of the people you come across online.

Some will burn themselves following a foolish desire for lust that they will (too) quickly associate with love, others will develop a relation and hopefully build a good friendsexship that won't last, but it was strong and good enough to be a nice experience to remember.

~you can put here an endless list of configurations, and some have been described in the previous posts

Some others will find a nice warm experience, that is close to love, but a love that doesn't hurt, just a natural and easy going relationship that makes you smile during the day and teach you patience as you feel your soul raised to another step...

I'm on that boat myself, so I canot say I'm in love, but I can definitly say I love every moments I spend with her, and I love to imagine the upcoming things that will eventually comes to us, the thoughts we will share, the little wounds that we will heal licking and pating each other. And let's not forget the hot moments we share in fantasies.

Jealousy has no place in here, neither impatience, since we both have a very vivid real life to deal with (nothing dramatic, I think we are both happy with what we have on our behalf)
I just accept the gift of knowing her and having her soul roaming around mine from time to time. And I'm happy to know that she feels the same for me.

Is it love? I'll let you guys name it.
Only thing I know is that I wish you all to experience that feeling.

 

[PeteHulbert37]

My opinion is no.

I have been in some very serious online relationships. I have had my share of crushes. I have never felt that I was in love.

I would have to meet in person, share some intimacy in real life, and look into that person's eyes. Only then could I know how deep the feelings are.

An online relationship can be very meaningful. It can be very real. However, I just wouldn't ever consider it love.........not from my end. I have to feel that connection in person.


Great thread topic!

for the OP.

 

[DewMee]

I've had this debate with a few people recently, and I'm curious what others think. Is it possible to fall in love with someone you've never met? Someone you only know virtually?

Do you fall in love with a person or do you fall in love with the personna that is projected online?
It's a fine line, and it has been my experience that what you meet in person rarely reflects how they have portrayed themselves online. Just sayin'...

 

[pfflyerhot]

Do you fall in love with a person or do you fall in love with the personna that is projected online?
It's a fine line, and it has been my experience that what you meet in person rarely reflects how they have portrayed themselves online. Just sayin'...

You fall in love with the persona YOU make the other person into... Yes, it's what they portray, too... but, unless you meet in person, it's all fantasy making in a way. Nobody broke my heart on Lit. I did it to myself.
Live and learn, I always say.

 

[Lovely2222]

I believe you can. Even in reality a person falls in love with a persona... and partly the true person

In cyber you may share more than in reality. That sharing can be very intimate. Does your heart make the distinction? Your mind may, but your heart may not.

Yes a person can fall in love with a cyber persona, and you may find that in reality that you two may not click.

But doesn't that happen in life. You fall in love and sometimes, you just no longer click.

 

[crash197177]

I believe you can. Even in reality a person falls in love with a persona... and partly the true person

In cyber you may share more than in reality. That sharing can be very intimate. Does your heart make the distinction? Your mind may, but your heart may not.

Yes a person can fall in love with a cyber persona, and you may find that in reality that you two may not click.

But doesn't that happen in life. You fall in love and sometimes, you just no longer click.

This was exactly my thought. In some ways, the cyber world is a safer place to share. My ex even said I opened up more when talking online as opposed to in person. I did have one woman that I chatted with regularly on many levels. I called and talked to her just once and it was incredibly awkward. I was actually looking to fly out to visit her. After the phone call, it was probably best I didn't book that flight.

 

[SweetSam42]

In cyber you may share more than in reality. That sharing can be very intimate. Does your heart make the distinction? Your mind may, but your heart may not.

I like what you said here - it can be quite intimate. I set some pretty firm boundaries for myself when cybering, to be sure I have my head in the right place, I suppose.

 

[a75]

I think that falling in love online equals attributing the characteristics of the partner you seek, to someone you really don't know. I wouldn't call it love.

However it's possible to fall in love with a person you first met online.

 

[jp_2012]

I will say yes it is possible only because I have experienced it. I may not have totally loved her unconditionally as she did me but I was young and maybe too immature to know it.

I met a woman from Florida online on yahoo chat when I was 18 at uni. We hit it off pretty well and it got even better when I realised she was 15 years my senior. We chatted a lot which slowly turned to flirting which then turned to full blown cybering. Then we were hooked. Given the time difference I pretty much ruined uni by staying up late to be with her and her the same for me. We spoke a lot on the phone too which was insanely hot. As a guy in his teens this was too much I was hooked. She also seemed to feel the same way.

This went on for nearly a decade. In that time she visited London twice and obviously at first we were very apprehensive to the point I very nearly called it all off. But she arrived and I have to say those were the best days of my life. She showed me things I had only ever dreamt of and more. We declared our love for each other and even talked of marriage. I was still very immature and not ready for such a step though. She being older had these thoughts in her mind. In the end with my procrastination it would never have worked out so she got married in Florida and I hope he is very happy.

I would have to say the fact the few times we met were actually amazing had something to do with me saying it is possible. Without meeting her I don’t think I could truly say I really loved her.

 

[SweetSam42]

I think that falling in love online equals attributing the characteristics of the partner you seek, to someone you really don't know. I wouldn't call it love.

However it's possible to fall in love with a person you first met online.

I can completely see how this could happen. And agree.

I will say yes it is possible only because I have experienced it. I may not have totally loved her unconditionally as she did me but I was young and maybe too immature to know it.

I met a woman from Florida online on yahoo chat when I was 18 at uni. We hit it off pretty well and it got even better when I realised she was 15 years my senior. We chatted a lot which slowly turned to flirting which then turned to full blown cybering. Then we were hooked. Given the time difference I pretty much ruined uni by staying up late to be with her and her the same for me. We spoke a lot on the phone too which was insanely hot. As a guy in his teens this was too much I was hooked. She also seemed to feel the same way.

This went on for nearly a decade. In that time she visited London twice and obviously at first we were very apprehensive to the point I very nearly called it all off. But she arrived and I have to say those were the best days of my life. She showed me things I had only ever dreamt of and more. We declared our love for each other and even talked of marriage. I was still very immature and not ready for such a step though. She being older had these thoughts in her mind. In the end with my procrastination it would never have worked out so she got married in Florida and I hope he is very happy.

I would have to say the fact the few times we met were actually amazing had something to do with me saying it is possible. Without meeting her I don’t think I could truly say I really loved her.

Thank you for sharing. Lovely story.

 

[36524]

I always fall in love with intellect and talent first. Sex doesn't really register with me until months after meeting and talking a lot with a person face-to-face, so knowing someone in writing has always, always been a better medium for me as far as communication is concerned.

I have loved people I've never met, but I haven't fallen in love with anyone online. I think just because I also wouldn't have ever fallen in love with those particular people in person, either. But I definitely think it's possible. His literacy skills would just need to meet my standards.

 

[SassySheDevil]

I will say yes it is possible only because I have experienced it. I may not have totally loved her unconditionally as she did me but I was young and maybe too immature to know it.

I met a woman from Florida online on yahoo chat when I was 18 at uni. We hit it off pretty well and it got even better when I realised she was 15 years my senior. We chatted a lot which slowly turned to flirting which then turned to full blown cybering. Then we were hooked. Given the time difference I pretty much ruined uni by staying up late to be with her and her the same for me. We spoke a lot on the phone too which was insanely hot. As a guy in his teens this was too much I was hooked. She also seemed to feel the same way.

This went on for nearly a decade. In that time she visited London twice and obviously at first we were very apprehensive to the point I very nearly called it all off. But she arrived and I have to say those were the best days of my life. She showed me things I had only ever dreamt of and more. We declared our love for each other and even talked of marriage. I was still very immature and not ready for such a step though. She being older had these thoughts in her mind. In the end with my procrastination it would never have worked out so she got married in Florida and I hope he is very happy.

I would have to say the fact the few times we met were actually amazing had something to do with me saying it is possible. Without meeting her I don’t think I could truly say I really loved her.

very cool story.

 

[Eclectic2012]

I think you can fall in love with the "image" of someone you meet online, but most times you're only getting a limited perspective of them. That love of the online person may not hold up in real life. But then if it's just an online relationship that should be enough. Love has many forms and intensity levels.

 

[pfflyerhot]

I think you can fall in love with the "image" of someone you meet online, but most times you're only getting a limited perspective of them. That love of the online person may not hold up in real life. But then if it's just an online relationship that should be enough. Love has many forms and intensity levels.

This is what I was trying to say up there. You create all the missing parts of the person in your head, really... And, you don't get frustrated with 'em because they forgot to pay the water bill, or they keep forgetting to put the tape back in the fucking drawer... or whatever. You get all the good... online... mostly.

 

[SweetSam42]

This is what I was trying to say up there. You create all the missing parts of the person in your head, really... And, you don't get frustrated with 'em because they forgot to pay the water bill, or they keep forgetting to put the tape back in the fucking drawer... or whatever. You get all the good... online... mostly.

Love this. Exactly my point.

 

[36524]

This is what I was trying to say up there. You create all the missing parts of the person in your head, really... And, you don't get frustrated with 'em because they forgot to pay the water bill, or they keep forgetting to put the tape back in the fucking drawer... or whatever. You get all the good... online... mostly.

This is a good point. In a semi-related note it's often why many people dislike movies that were first novels. Everyone creates their own idea in their mind, and it does or doesn't meet expectations.

But I think the real vector behind love online is the question of physiological chemistry, which doesn't ever manifest if you've never met them in person, and we're biologically wired to be sexually attracted to certain people, scent being a very important factor, among other things.

 

[Mercury_Maniac]

I've had my heart broken online, so sure i guess its possible.

 

[funluvinaj]

Not without spending real time with them... I agree with previous posters... You might fall in love with your ideal of them. Mostly I think it's lust and infatuation... For the relationships that go on long term online... it may be. I don't want to discount anyone's feelings or relationships.

I just know from my online interactions going back to 1996 I've made some wonderful friendships and had some passionate heated relationships. I've only fallen in love once but that was over the course of a couple years and it was with real time together.

 

[jacktar48]

This is what I was trying to say up there. You create all the missing parts of the person in your head, really... And, you don't get frustrated with 'em because they forgot to pay the water bill, or they keep forgetting to put the tape back in the fucking drawer... or whatever. You get all the good... online... mostly.

Fluffy! I thought you were a hopeless romantic.

Don't we all fill in the blanks when we first develop romantic attachments? Absent the Vulcan Mind Meld, do we ever really know what lurks in the back corners of a lover's psyche?

Perhaps we're concluding here that it is impossible to be in love with someone until after we've lived together through the initial years of frantic sexual exploration and blind adoration?

In that case, it would be wise to get started with that so we can get to the important part sooner.

 

[ImagineMe2]

I am quite sure I love her, the facts that she is married, we have never met and never will does not change this. Eh

 

[original_pk10]

I do believe it's possible, but I think only once both people let the other person see the "real" them. Sharing the icky stuff, the bad days, bad habits, every day mundane stuff - I have fallen in love and had my heart broken online. But only with someone who let me in to all that, and I with them - otherwise I think the lines between lust/and love do get confused. You have to move past how that person's words make you feel and how you actually connect as two people.

There are a lot of sweet talkers and bullshitters online. Once you weed through those I do honestly believe that two people can connect and develop real feelings. The problem is figuring out who is honest and who is not That being said, I think once two people actually meet whether or not there is actual chemistry would determine the future of the "relationship".

 

[Eclectic2012]

Love this. Exactly my point.

Exactly Sam and PF. And isn't that really what online relationships are for...all the fun and none of the RL aggravations? I love you guys when we agree....wink

 

[DistinctlySouthern]

This is interesting ------ I post a somewhat similar question what constitutes beauty and sexy etc, - this different but still related --- and concern what a persons concepts of what constitutes "Love" -- lots of different types of "love" from agape to infatuation ---