Can you fall in love with someone online?

[jameslewis]

The hell with semantics, love or not love. Can you form deep emotional bonds with someone you meet online; can you have real feelings for them if you truthfully and honestly connect with them. Yes. You can have the emotional highs, and lows. The joys you feel for and with someone, they're real. The pain, fuck yes it's real. Call it what you want. Connection is possible.

 

[SweetSam42]

The hell with semantics, love or not love. Can you form deep emotional bonds with someone you meet online; can you have real feelings for them if you truthfully and honestly connect with them. Yes. You can have the emotional highs, and lows. The joys you feel for and with someone, they're real. The pain, fuck yes it's real. Call it what you want. Connection is possible.

I like your style.

 

[Que]

A better question is can you reliably fall in love with someone offline where they put more effort into image control and filtering.

Character is what you have in it's purest form when no one that "matters" is watching.

Even people that think they are creating some super-human alt online ultimately reveal themselves for who they truly are.

Any "success" I have had building meaningful connections online has been due to being my authentic self. Humans worth knowing have pretty good BS meters built-in.

Honestly, I think anything other than in person, REAL relationship isn't love. Fake, online /cyber "love" is just chemicals in your brain taking you for a ride. Love is not a chemical reaction, that's lust and limerence.

In person relationships start because of chemicals. Pheremones. If anything, that is your body, not your soul talking.

 

[anthilly]

After feeling the pain when something falls apart, I can say 100% connection s online are as strong and real as any made in RL. Sometimes I think there better.

 

[Ginger41]

Nope.

 

[SweetSam42]

A better question is can you reliably fall in love with someone offline where they put more effort into image control and filtering

I say of course you can. You don't know they're being fake. And how well do we really know anyone anyway? Dont people "filter" themselves for various reasons anyway? Like Tenenbaum said earlier, in love, you often take a leap.

After feeling the pain when something falls apart, I can say 100% connection s online are as strong and real as any made in RL. Sometimes I think there better.

I think you can know parts of someone in an online relationship that they may never share with others in real life, which by definition builds a connection. For me, that doesn't mean I know enough to feel love. Maybe it all comes down to how each of us defines love. Now there's a big topic. Lol

And thank you for sharing, too. Heartache sucks.

Nope.

Short and to the point. Love it.

 

[kingfupa]

Love is for poets.

 

[Tenenbaum]

I say of course you can. You don't know they're being fake. And how well do we really know anyone anyway? Dont people "filter" themselves for various reasons anyway? Like Tenenbaum said earlier, in love, you often take a leap.

I think you can know parts of someone in an online relationship that they may never share with others in real life, which by definition builds a connection. For me, that doesn't mean I know enough to feel love. Maybe it all comes down to how each of us defines love. Now there's a big topic. Lol

And thank you for sharing, too. Heartache sucks.

I think that's the critical thing here. It seems that we (and I don't just mean those on Lit...but people in general) all have slightly different definitions of what it means to love someone, to be in love with someone, etc. Huge topic though, as you said.

 

[CanadianM]

I believe you can meet someone online, have an infatuation but as you get to know them and have other forms of contact (IM, FaceTime, Phone, etc.) and get to know them better, then yes...

 

[sweet_tease]

No not fall in love, you can feel an infatuation but I think you need more than a cyber relationship to fall in love.

 

[PeteHulbert37]

What about through Skype cam? I say this with a little wink, but am being a bit serious too. Does cam allow for more intimate interaction? I suppose of course it does. The question is whether it allows for enough interaction for some naysayers here to move their emotions up a bit.

I still say no - not to the level of love.

Though, I have interacted with many women online I have never met one willing to skype/cam even in a nonsexual way.

Though, I believe it wouldn't change my stance on it. I feel very deeply. Though, without touch I won't call it love.

Plus, relationships that are built solely on an online existence can be so easily disparaged by the other party. It can happen in real life to, but online people just disappear at the drop of a hat all the time.

 

[MidwestDilf]

No not fall in love, you can feel an infatuation but I think you need more than a cyber relationship to fall in love.

I agree with tease on this one. The infatuation is huge!! Once there is more I think thats when love steps in.

 

[tbearatl]

I've had this debate with a few people recently, and I'm curious what others think. Is it possible to fall in love with someone you've never met? Someone you only know virtually?

yes i have had that experience way back in the day when i met a woman in an AOL chat room

 

[talikat]

Am I going to be the only naysayer? I have received a few PMs from people who agree you can fall in love online, but wished to remain anonymous for obvious reasons.

I personally just think that there's too much you don't know about someone you only see in a way they choose to present themselves via chat/email/cam even. I think you only ever see snippets of someone's life, and only the snippets they want to show you. To fall in love with a man, I want to see how he interacts with the world - with friends, with family, I want to see all of him.

Now, I do think attachments certainly happen, and lust, and crushes, and infatuations, and gushy mushy feelings and butterflies, and on and on.

Just my 2 cents. I just don't think I ever could.

No, I'm with you Sam. Unless you're in the day to day, face to face, I don't think it's possible to be completely in love. You may have the potential to be in love so I think it's definitely a stepping stone to love.

 

[JudasIscariot]

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UxVdjw0Gm8I

 

[SweetSam42]

Though, I have interacted with many women online I have never met one willing to skype/cam even in a nonsexual way.

Though, I believe it wouldn't change my stance on it. I feel very deeply. Though, without touch I won't call it love.

Plus, relationships that are built solely on an online existence can be so easily disparaged by the other party. It can happen in real life to, but online people just disappear at the drop of a hat all the time.

I can't imagine being in love with someone and not being able to touch them. That has to be tough.

And yes, people -- even someone with whom you've talked to a lot and consider a friend -- just disappear on you without so much as a goodbye. Tricky nature, these Litships.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UxVdjw0Gm8I

And thank you for the musical interlude.

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

How about care deeply. So deeply you hurt when they leave.

 

[SweetSam42]

How about care deeply. So deeply you hurt when they leave.

Do you define that as "love" then?

 

[BiTodd]

I have fallen for someone I met online.

 

[Vixxennn]

And yes, people -- even someone with whom you've talked to a lot and consider a friend -- just disappear on you without so much as a goodbye. Tricky nature, these Litships.

I like that term... Litships. But you are so right... some do just up and go. And unfortunately, it's so much easier to do when it is exclusively online.

 

[sweetsophie512]

What about through Skype cam? I say this with a little wink, but am being a bit serious too. Does cam allow for more intimate interaction? I suppose of course it does. The question is whether it allows for enough interaction for some naysayers here to move their emotions up a bit.

I still say no - not to the level of love.

I don't know if you can completely fall in love with someone online. Can you grow a close attachment to them? Absolutely. Depending on the level of trust, the level of affection, the amount of time you spend with them, how much you share of your life, your attachment grows with each and every minute you spend with them.

Love is a total package. Good AND bad. Work, family, holidays, bad days, good days, great days, traffic jam, forgotten or lost keys, missed dinner plans, etc, etc and you STILL choose that person at the end of the day.

Skype is a great way to deepen your intimacy and I'm not just talking about being sexy. It's nice to actually have a conversation with that person, watching their face light up when they finally see you. It's nice to share in person, as much as Skype allows, the mundane details about your day and you feel like that person is actually there (if there is indeed a time difference between you two).

Meeting someone online is a great way to find out if you have chemistry and whether that chemistry can translate to a connection. You just need to make sure that you both understand what it means and that you're both on the same page. Online or not, communication is SO important. Honesty is critical for any relationship to be successful and online is not exempt from that.

Great topic!

 

[jameslewis]

I can't imagine being in love with someone and not being able to touch them. That has to be tough.

And yes, people -- even someone with whom you've talked to a lot and consider a friend -- just disappear on you without so much as a goodbye. Tricky nature, these Litships.

The upside, the closeness, yes you do need the physical contact to really have love. But the hurt, man it can sure feel like love does.

 

[Tenenbaum]

The upside, the closeness, yes you do need the physical contact to really have love. But the hurt, man it can sure feel like love does.

I think this topic of hurting brings up an interesting point. If someone leaving hurts you that much, don't you think there's a little more to it? I'm sure we've all had friends come and go in real life. The absence of some hurts more than others. But doesn't that mean you had a deeper connection with them than someone else? There was something more there that makes you feel their absence more deeply?

I'm not necessarily saying it's love but if the hurt can make it feel like love, maybe it could be love? Again, I think it still goes back to how we all define love and that's different for everyone.

 

[SexyRedLace]

I can see how one can fall in love with someone "online". The shared experiences, the many firsts (something that I'm looking forward to - voice, cam, Skype - as a result of reading most of the threads here late last night and early this morning), can result in making you feel as if you are indeed IN love.

The downside is you will also feel the lows of that relationship if it doesn't work out or you encounter someone who isn't genuine in their intentions to begin with.

I sure hope that does not happen to me!

 

[SweetSam42]

I don't know if you can completely fall in love with someone online. Can you grow a close attachment to them? Absolutely. Depending on the level of trust, the level of affection, the amount of time you spend with them, how much you share of your life, your attachment grows with each and every minute you spend with them.

Love is a total package. Good AND bad. Work, family, holidays, bad days, good days, great days, traffic jam, forgotten or lost keys, missed dinner plans, etc, etc and you STILL choose that person at the end of the day.

Skype is a great way to deepen your intimacy and I'm not just talking about being sexy. It's nice to actually have a conversation with that person, watching their face light up when they finally see you. It's nice to share in person, as much as Skype allows, the mundane details about your day and you feel like that person is actually there (if there is indeed a time difference between you two).

Meeting someone online is a great way to find out if you have chemistry and whether that chemistry can translate to a connection. You just need to make sure that you both understand what it means and that you're both on the same page. Online or not, communication is SO important. Honesty is critical for any relationship to be successful and online is not exempt from that.

Great topic!

Great post!

I can see how one can fall in love with someone "online". The shared experiences, the many firsts (something that I'm looking forward to - voice, cam, Skype - as a result of reading most of the threads here late last night and early this morning), can result in making you feel as if you are indeed IN love.

The downside is you will also feel the lows of that relationship if it doesn't work out or you encounter someone who isn't genuine in their intentions to begin with.

I sure hope that does not happen to me!

Good luck. My advice, for whatever it's worth: vet, vet, vet, and then vet some more.